Replanting Eden, Part 2

So what kind of harsh words with we know them well. All verse. If you want would be.

Thank you. By the way, with wireless humility that what you bring it out of your children early on is bringing observer title you know affirming someone like your wife by saying thank you helps prune that the lives of fraud attitude.

We know that that's not always the case. The way to a successful marriage comes through attempting to imitate the first married couple, Adam and Eve.

Of course, I'm referring to the time before the fall in the garden of Eden. There was a time when there was complete selflessness and God's centeredness and that's why Stephen's calling this lesson. Replanting Eden it comes from first Peter three and from Stephen's series called for better or for worse.

I love driving back home, for a lot of reasons, but were always struck by the fact that whatever you drive back to North Carolina. The scenery just improves wonderfully you notice there are these beds of flowers and arrangements of of plants and shrubs crape Myrtle's and sometimes it's acres of wildflowers along the interstate and interstate on and off ramps sometimes are scattered. Sometimes there are choreographed perfectly sometimes arranged by color my life. I never got hold look at that coincident that amazing how that just happened know it it it took expense if I got been told by several people that it's the money earned when North Carolinians purchased vanity plates that the budget good reason to buy vanity plates. I have one point made us the Greek word for shepherds.

No one ever will know what it means out there, but I do good reminder that money. I feel better about that today actually goes to those arrangements. It took time and it took planning and it took skill took labor to sweat more sweat and took sweat in the state of your marriage saying is required and husbands according to the thinking of God revealed in his word. We happened to be the chief gardener in marriage we take the lead in replanting as it were, the car, the notice Peter writes husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, your translation might read live with your wives according to knowledge. Both the translations. The word here refers to insights and in a conscious sensitivity.

It combines the idea of intelligence with action so as not just knowledge its application what author said it is intelligence through observation that leads to consideration by means of action with both. That kind of thing happen in a moment infected take a lifetime of study. Maybe you're old enough of the faith in you read these passages and maybe even a marriage seminar and you are well aware of what were going as we tracked through this, but does it ever occur to you that a woman is never told to understand her husband's interesting probably the fact remains that most women probably do already are more observant, more intuitive their gathering data all the time they're picking up on everything.

They're constantly watching and waiting. One author I think is very funny, said this, he said women are satellite antennas picking up signals and information from around the universe manner, cordless telephones, and if they want or 200 feet away from home, they lose the signal generally always generally true.

Nevertheless, the interesting command remains, the less intuitive Argo understand the intuitive, the less observant are to watch works or men tend to let each other off the hook. I talked to each other okay. We talk to each other say they just can't understand what I mean are so complicated. I never figure out women ever occur to you as well.

The Bible never asks you to try and understand when it asks you to try and understand a woman one woman your wife that is a lifelong self-denying self giving Christ, modeling process, keep in mind is one author pointed out in my study. This command is necessarily for us to gather just simply superficial knowledge or surface understanding, like her favorite ice cream laborer or her favorite color, favorite, favorite restaurant. Those things are good what Peter is talking about here is related to knowing challenge and her desires and her needs and then acting on that knowledge by giving yourself to assisting and encouraging guiding her through like this is where the husband literally plays out the role of Shepherd men. Keep in mind, you have been given the privilege and the task to shepherd your wife until she's handed to the chief Shepherd you are shepherding her home. By the way I want to insert this here, Peter did not tell earlier, the wives the respect and follow their husbands because they deserve it, didn't tell women to have his gracious composure. If their husbands are loving, or even if their husbands are followers of Christ because you remember the been with us the immediate context is there unbelievers their disobedience to the gospel. Now husbands saying she was going to fit here for us is not suggesting that if your wife respects you and follows you, and if she has gracious composure, then studied her sacrificially love her care for her now, in spite of the fact that she might not have a gracious spirit and respect for marriage is not equipped for "arrangement if you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours is been weeks.

If you scratch my stomach and scratchers for another week. You do this I'll do that again.

That's an arrangement this it is easy to love the loving and easy to be gracious to the gracious, easy to care for those who are caring, so he's talking about here is talking about doing this as a command and obedience to the design of God to fulfill 100% of what he wants of each of the focuses here on men. This is the kind of marriage. The quid pro quo marriage never moves forward because there's no foot on the gas pedal and he's essentially telling men here give it began after foot on the gas move forward take the initiative maybe say how I don't understand much about her will to command understood well here from Peter implies that you act upon that which you do understand. Then you continue to observe and might learn a few more things and then act upon that which you then were. This is a lifelong study self-denying Christ bottling love sheer selfishness and replant the guard of the past.

We leave room for some practical suggestions.

Here are some garden tools to work with in your own private garden. We give you two or three of them. First of all, don't be thoughtless plant seeds of politeness. You do need need to come here to know what supply you don't need a graduate degree you don't know any of the original languages you know enough by observation.

What is considered polite words, don't be. Don't be uncouth. Don't be unkind. And here's where men like me, you might say yeah that's me.

Don't be the expert you know the fixture be pulling those funny I read this recently manic had attended a seminar's company put on on the subject of efficiency how to be efficient.

He decided that he would help his wife be more efficient to share the knowledge she'd learned a few days later he was telling a coworker who would attend the seminars. Well, how's it going to your house sit well one morning I was sitting at the breakfast table. I've done the same for decades watching my weight make breakfast and I realize as I watched her do the same thing. She had an inefficient routine. She made a lot of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table cabinet, often carrying just a single item at a time. So I said honey why don't you eliminate all that legwork by carrying more than one item at a time. The guys friend as well go. He said it worked used to take her 20 minutes to get breakfast ready and I now do it. Seven. Good for. By the way, the apostle Paul adds a note to husbands along the same garden tools.

He writes to the church is very interesting phrase.

He says this. Husbands, love your wives, we heard that before the ad and do not be embittered against the Colossians 319.

Don't be embittered. The word for embittered carries the idea of rudiments of harshness of being sharp tone.

Paul states it is actually referring to a man who has arrived at the stage of this is his ongoing impatience and thoughtlessness. This is a man who frankly is become filled with himself so that he no longer cares, it is wife is hurting her happy. Whether she's crying or contented to do another room try to watch the game that's in embittered state dares her trouble with her trouble. This is the kind of thing that was exaggerated and yet it happened.

It was reported in the news. The couple been married for decades. He was 72 years old and you hooked up an air raid siren in his house to start his wife in the silence, CNN reported they know it's true. But anyhow they ported on that whenever this man's wife complained. He flipped the switch turn on the air raid siren's thunder silent. Finally the neighbor's complaint take over the whole neighborhood. He reluctantly took a dump of the explainer the police before he is a lot worse every time you might not have an air raid siren but unkind, impolite, rude, harsh, inconsiderate actions will speak loudly as siren is no excuse brothers is there for us to be rude, discourteous public or in private not only going to hurt our marriages, but it will hurt the demonstration of the gospel to those we work with and live around because the heroes the here are comments. They hear the way we talk.

What are they here about your wife from you on Monday. What do they hear on the on the driveway this morning was at the gospel I found it interesting that Hudson Taylor, one of my heroes. As you well know who served in China more than 100 years ago. He was known for his sensitivity and his politeness to Chinese culture and in fact he created quite a sensation when he began his ministry is what he did easy very quickly shed his European dressing.

He put on the gallon of Chinese professor and sandals even dyed his hair blackening from right about here only backup done that in honor of Hudson Taylor, my hero what I am not just a tactic used the ponytailed did I mean this is a sensation he did it out of his desire to politely communicate his culture and he would write this 50 years after serving their stuff in a Christian city worked with. He said rude Christian will seldom be out of hot water in China. Although they are earnest and pious, they will not accomplish much in nothing, do we fail more as a mission, then in a lack of pulling husbands pull the weeds of thoughtlessness plant the seeds of polite. Secondly, don't be abusive plant seeds of affirmation, not abuse comes in many forms. Emotional verbal, physical, because from now in the hands of men angry. Frankly with their own inadequacy in life and their attempt to boost their own self-importance by bullying in an pushing verbally or physically demanding, there's only room for one guy at the top of the mountain that looks no excuse for any I have read that in recent data available. One out of every six adult women.

One out of every six adult women have or are currently experiencing some sort of verbal or physical abuse may not be from any of us brothers in here the kind of male domination is what the world looks at it, it destroys the grace of the gospel male dominance of that sort has nothing to do with headship. It has nothing to do with God's design.

It has nothing to do with God's creation has everything to do with man's prideful corruption just pushes his way around his big biblical headship is life. It is, is forcing his worship. It's winning it's leaving like a shepherd leads the flock. One British author that I've enjoyed reading his commentary on this text. He writes this.

Remember that Jesus Christ brothers is our perfect groomsmen.

He does not coerce the church. He does not force the church. He woos the church he lost her. He lays his life down for her. He wins her heart and brings her to glad obedience isn't harsh or manipulative but loving and gracious for the good of the church and the glory of his father husbands if you want to live in your wives with kind consideration begin building verbal bridges not verbal wall praising your wife even if at first it frightens her replace abusive words with affirming more to get you show up to to know what that were just here because the spirit God wants to remind us to get busy in the garden, so replace trying to harsh manipulative words with affirming words we know them well. All verse. If you want would be. Thank you, thank you. That word by the way, requires humility. That's why you bring it out in your children early on is your taming the barbarians where were we ought to grow out of that. But thank you requires humility because you're verbalizing the fact that you needed something your wife could only provide for something she did is get on with bringing observer entitlement humility affirming someone like your wife by saying thank you helps prune back the lives of try and allow Blossom's flourish was the last time you think your wife ready today. Had a great opportunity you not suffer thank thank you honey for something. It was delicious wasn't thank you honey. It was unforgettable or whatever. Never forget that say affirming words like a black dot gave you to me.

See, that's the opposite of Adam in the garden number you gave me right. Can you imagine for a moment that did believe. Can you imagine for a moment how long, long, that hurt. I would hope that Adam and we have every indication that he did say a phrase like I was wrong. We forgive that his humility is not. That's pride killing language. Imagine an admission overall from we who are the man of the house. I was wrong, forgive that's that's ego crush humility plan to words of grace to say don't fact, I came across this.

In re Prichard is spoken for me here colonial in our summer series in his devotional commentary makes the interesting statement that it takes eight, nine or 10 positive comments to offset one destructive critical, eight, nine or 10 kind words are needed. We race the effects of just one hurtful, unloving, careless word that's been written on the tablet of someone's invest in the garden.

In fact, make up your mind when you come home to bring yourself with you.

You faced untold challenges. You've had a long day, so was she. I follow the advice of Dennis Rainey's family ministries. In fact, his book called stay close is a good book to read surfing through it myself. He was in the office of a friend of his and and his friend a little car cropped up on his desk is simple, nothing special, and he walked around we could read it in written on the 3 x 5 card in hand, were the words leave some for home leave some for which the manager some investment for home. Obviously this applies all of this does husbands and fathers. You got a garden to grow home. I wonder how often our wives wait for the cheap Gardner to arrive and roll up the sleeves invest in plant some new seeds along the way as I was studying this first expression this command, I was reminded of the lyrics of the song was popular in the 1990s and it it's it's from a husband to wife and and I thought it described wonderfully. This kind of commitment from the man is following the Council of first Peter chapter 3 the first phrase in verse seven. I looked up the song did a little digging and found it in her sagas tomorrow morning if you wake up in the sun does not appear I will be here if in the dark blue side of love.

Hold my hand and have no fear, as I will be here.

I will be here when you feel like being quiet when you need to speak your mind. I will listen. I will be here when the laughter turns to buying through the winning, losing, and trying will be together.

I will be here tomorrow morning if you wake up in the future is unclear I will be just as sure as seasons were made for change. Our lifetimes were made for these years I will be here and you can cry on my shoulder. When the mirror tells us were older. I will hold you and I will be here to watch you grow in beauty can tell you all the things you are to me.

I will be true to the promise I made to you and to the one who gave to me tomorrow morning if you wake up in the sun does not appear I will be in the context of this letter were studying. This is the kind of lifestyle commitment, the world cannot ignore something different that your Christianity or something different about your relationship or something different about your marriage or something different about the way you treat your wife and talk about your wife and I got to find out what it is, then this opportunity to tell them who it is who enables the love she tried model after your ship, one says you all of us. Never. This is for joining us today on wisdom from the heart.

Stephen Davey called this lesson re-planting Eden.

It comes from his series and first Peter three: for better or for worse. Before we leave you today. Don't miss this special offer we have for you. In addition to equipping you with these daily Bible lessons. We also have a magazine that we publish. Stephen deals with a different topic each month and helps you understand what the Bible says and how it applies directly to your life.

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