56- Seeing the Light after Sexual Violence

Changing man – he-man union zoom you're a poison and not know that instance soon. All my friends thinking your vision is MSA your conferences should sleep man – he-man union zoom with a makeable life can bring many difficult situations domestic violence addictions, poverty and even sexual abuse by your loved ones welcome Amy, and the Q act and you and welcome to the care. I'm your host Amy L. Joined by this weekend I show is available on the radio drop, that your R&R website got his picture.com. We are broadcast to your radio line from media satellite also on Facebook search for God is the cure. Please click on send message and and that's a question or comment. We would love to hear from you. This show deals with the suffering and the tenacity of the human spirit. The will to survive in the carriage to keep moving forward despite any obstacle with the help of God and each other. We did provide testimonials to let people know that they are not alone in this show. The testimony started with me having been a survivor from child abuse well into young adulthood. We also have professionals in the medical field and inspirational speakers are willing to help and give valuable information. Because education is key. Transparency is needed and I believe I can be there for each other. As for me, my healing came from God, but other forms of healing are presented as well to service everyone life can be very challenging.

But always, now that were not alone and I don't mean aliens really don't know that last. I feel like I'm drowning by 2 feet.

The enemy is constantly dark scheming. He has a poison.

That's the truth he so vicious and his friends find it.

Suspicion you can feel like you're drowning as I have, but rest assure God is the best lifeguard there is there is so many evils in this world and it manifests in people who target the vulnerable but at the same time God sends his people, which can be angels in the times of need. Today's show will focus on finding the light despite sexual violence and today's special guest is Robert without Robert Lucado is a rape crisis counselor public educator and author of the book to the survivors.

One man's journey as a rape crisis counselor with true stories of sexual violence. Robert, thank you for being on the show we are now live on the care Robert are here thinking Robert how often do you help people who have gone through something so traumatic at the rate will you interview everything about the girl sold three drug help do something to find what you are cooking a prayer. Of course anything they can do to help them solve other not alone earlier after how often do I do this kind of the Billy thing the work that I do people think it's close to me at any time they can talk properly and personal life.

I might get rid of the mill here and there is also money to go without actually having conversations with people about social world.

Part of my outreach work to try to get my book out there as well. So it's a constant work that because we never really but I don't want to be available to anyone who made need anything for me if I can help me meeting this people like you help calm and easy these days. Do you know when we talk about sexual violence that I read your book your book.

Very moving.

As you know, zero where people were abused way too many children and it the least reported violent crime, crime and secrecy so much so no one truly knows the numbers are. God knows, of course, but you do what I believe is more prevalent that we can fathom, and what happens sometimes people start open up. They may come to me they may go to someone else and then fill little more comfortable, and sometimes they share their story and then back to them some freedom from strength there moved to venture their story.

People start close like a chain reaction. There are way too many men, women and children with partially violated. I believe it's probably more common than we think of at least it's reporting now with the need to move women are feeling more empowered that they believe they can be believed, and they can be heard because the problems is that women do not believe that their credible because of what they think they do or they blame themselves and unfortunately the silence is what gives it power is what gives it strength. So the more reason we should speak out more often those of us who can reason why people really like all family members why they don't tell friends, but it all felt believe it also establish so many people that do come forward upwardly and not treated the way they should be people suffer with the software. People are also blamed for being raped when Dr. Paul ever so very part of my work that I do is also try my best to educate people on the realities of social wealth but also how to how to respond how to respond if I come to you and and actually opened up about because we have to be compassionate. We have to be welcoming and gentle.

We need to be supportive and aforethought people suffer with this in five alone, and that's what way too many people do.

I know from personal experience. One of the people.

The reason I wouldn't tell anybody, is because just a stigma that if people know that you've been through a lot or that you suffered a lot that you're broke Gaynor.

There's something wrong with you or you you just get judged in some way and it's unfortunate.

I wish that I don't believe in checking for example, and I wish there would be less of what you believe that people are struggling with the most after being raped or sexually assaulted. In my experience, many mental, emotional and spiritual issues that revolve from partial violent anger, depression, abuse fell apart, but to me the deepest issue. Shame people are shrouded in shame. They are, they have shame, and therefore all they that we believe that they are dirty people, awful people there that God doesn't exist, but there abandoned by God because these things happen. None of these things are true, but if you have shame if you suffer with shame. Commuters deserve shame and undeserved shame those you know something wrong that we should feel shameful about or guilty, and ditto admit you're wrong.

Confession and hopefully move forward undeserved shame that people suffer with. As a result of such a wild other forms of violence and trauma and that if you have shame you inevitably will have certain health health issues and I think that is so deeply ingrained in the work that I do. It's about search about if I could play any role play role in alleviating any of that shame them out of the blessing and I will continue to be, it can be developed because shame leads to self-loathing to self, Todd's, and depression, and disease can be very dangerous because it can lead to suicide. And I think when I struggled most with self-loathing that let's talk about victim blaming, and the effects that I can have on rape survivors like keep your tech to come think it you think of imagine something in your life. Something they're excited about are really something worth in your life and you tell someone else and they don't even believe you think about how you feel, or if they do, you know, maybe they believe you, but they blame you for. They don't have any bad about you and don't blame you for think of what that really does to a person that includes the special like is that even children. It has severely damaging the Billy Deming affected it only this. Essentially, you know you can go down a path of healing about the disruption and you can fill it out about the disruption and go towards healing and the victim blaming is only hurting people. Nothing good comes out of it. So what someone where not the reason why some of our great what they wear, don't wear with someone, or even or even how they behave in the Benjarong right we will be signed in as you library this year. Dominique had no life can bring many difficult situations, domestic violence, addictions, poverty and even sexual abuse by your loved ones. The issue is not stay there, but to overcome all obstacles and show that with the love of God, your husband and your family. You can succeed. Love is the answer. God is the key word reveals baby combos life, a warrior who didn't give up and achieve the dream of her life. You can get to know more about her at her story on God is the key word.com or buying her book on Amazon.com and the welcome back to the shell for this opinion. I mean, in Caddo, and this is the care we live in you radio us on Facebook later on. The show will be podcasts. Just search for the year account and adapt the care that what I don't want to be you. I feel Yannis. I remember when he couldn't shake the head, mostly of mistakes made only cotton you the way that a pre-it was he who led me to a place of healing, just at the right time there talking to Robert Notaro about overcoming sexual violence rather last that we spoke we were speaking about that nobody should be planed for the way they dress for the way that they behave if they been drinking and once the damage is done, it could be very difficult. I wanted to talk about some of the healing that you have seen in your work go crime. People talk about and I believe healing comes in different form and level of growth and some of the healing.

I see people that suffer so long and five and they feel comfortable sharing with me to open up, I see, and specifically in my book is a combination of different story and one of the story of a man named Jim. Jim was raped by a priest and he suffered for years and he came to my home opened up we interviewed I interviewed with talk for the book and then he was in a male support group and he other guys in his group if they would be willing to talk to me to contribute to the book as well. Two men agreed and they ultimately came the book on the man. His name is Don and he does first time ever sharing like open in detail about what really happened him as a child he was raped by his uncle. I've just seen him continually grow in his life. He's an alcoholic is sober for many, many, many years and he is just more comfortable speaking about things trusting thing I deal with him working with it all play different people and one woman to compromise with the is a woman who can doesn't share anything. But then is able to speak is able to write in detail about it she's giving more details as they come, and I gave her a pair rosary beads one and you know she wasn't as prayerful as before, but she's holding those rosary beads. She is talking to God. A little more. The prophet even though she might not even think she's in the process. Even though she doesn't think she's healing, she's continuing to make the steps so that many people do know people that can get out of the addiction of people are getting out final thought that people are starting to get you know have some self-esteem and realizing that they're not the blameless will look beautiful gifts of the people to realize they're not the fault of the topic, and fabulous. Also, setbacks in life. There's many trials become people get that back and there in a very dark place within the theme come out of it again is beautiful. The witness's book is insightful to the many different forms of healing and then since the rosary because I asked you before nine cents. It's been very wonderful that God gave me my husband and hence the love that he has for me and plenty of people have asked me what's the pivotal point you finally found a place of healing and it's not a therapist it's not somebody who knew what to do. It wasn't love my husband because I remember having it all and feeling very lonely and very sad. It just happens to be that I was going to Facebook and Israel.

See figure came up and I realized I wasn't praying every day like I used to, but this rosary has song and story and it's just nice things in between, and there's music in the background and there is a man and and a woman at penne so that keeping you company and it's very passive.

You could see it in your mind.

How hard could that be. So I thought.

Not a bad idea to do this. Anything I do it every day and before you knew it, I could closer and closer to God and my whole world changed. And God has a special way of reaching out to you one way or the other whether it's through someone through a person are just so many different ways and I'm glad that your book details so many different ways that people can heal what might work for one person may not work for others that God I many different ways. Absolutely with work and how it really shut up people's faith complete disbelief elegantly think there is no abandoned by God. God is love, God won't accept them either live or not. This is not true so you can come to God at any time it out even in addiction even severely depressed what you were saying earlier about self-loathing, how could you not given what you experience right. How could you not and and if you can go to that God is always there and it was from you and to strengthen healing Jesus speaks about about the Bible so to me if like I am very big on trying to believe about suicide and this does is that earlier be people suicide what one of the most important things if I could ever teach anyone anything is please don't kill yourself a lot even if you're not at they live because once you're alive.

If you're alive this village have two kill yourself, your local utility took your life but as you can stay alive. There is a chance and in this world. The pain on this in this world is temporary, not forever, and we live in a very dark world is a lot of payment of social out to prevalent it happening all over the world, but it does not have to cripple people even though you said earlier.doesn't have to your living proof of that, and we need to help people to get their well if you're alive, there is hope that it took me a long time. Many techniques hear me doing the right thing to realize that is always whole if you lie I always thought that Wayne it's it's always been you know, I just found it is comes to me and I realize it's it's been the typical point of my life with other yes I mean I remember a time where I was feeling miserable. But then they realized that it was a common pickpocket pickpocket. It was him lying to me. It was a meat that was broken believing negative things.

It was him getting you to believe negative things and as long as as soon as I knew that I got on my site. I was able to find it. Thank you so much Robert for being on this shell. For more information on Robert and his blog that survivors can be found in God is that year under the gas.

Thank you for so much, Robert Guerra wonderfully wonderful person and I really appreciated talk with you and that you need help reach out for help God with you. Always remember alone. Even if you don't believe in God. Even if you do not believe in God you are loved by God, he's always working and got nuts.

Heights protection holy father, please keep a hedge of protection around me and my family. Father, please continue to open doors of employment that no man can close and close doors that are not consistent with your perfect will for my life. I trust in your ability to select the best path for my life because you know me better than anyone else.

Father protect the home and property that you allowed me to Stuart keep my heart always consumed with you and not worldly possessions. As you continue to bless me.

I will continue to be a blessing to others. No matter what season I got to just as Job trusted you with all he had IT saying don't see me clean when I trust. Amen. You have been missing until next