Family Dysfunction

Hey this is Mike Swick from if not for God podcast our show stories of hopelessness turned in a hope your chosen Truth Network podcast is starting in just seconds. Enjoy it, share it, but most of all, thank you for listening and for choosing The Truth Podcast Network welcome to man brought to you by T8 W CM is talking and walking Christian men's ministry where they are devoted to breaking down the walls of race, age, and challenging and to take their God assigned as our host will Hardy and Roy Jones Junior a black eye and a white well come back to man talk radio Roy, it's good to see you :-) it's good to see you will and that the been the too long ago that the we just have some hiccups along the way.

So it's good to see you sir great to be back with you. A man a man you know that today's subject that we are going to be talking about.

I think everyone out there can identify with it at some point in time in their life and so we will be talking about dysfunctional families, dysfunctional and and again everybody can associate with this particular topic because what I think it it drives to the core of individuals who we will encounter in our family. Obviously, if we are born again and we encounter family members who are not born again. Then you know that's going to the dysfunction and create some misalignment somehow to sink in ideal ideologies how you think how you interpret things that type of thing people come from dysfunctional families will also I am sure you have seen this as well.

Sometimes struggle with interpersonal relationships exact depending on what the nature of the dysfunction was a trust issue that was constantly raising his head to the family that people have difficulty trusting their coworkers trusting even in their own family that leads to other problems right exactly because trust is essential. I think in first of all, in any marriage relationship and that of course carries over into the family so if you know if the trust factor is broken, then it has to be reemerged. If you will have to come come to an agreement course that varies with time depending on individuals where they are, their Christian walk with the Lord and you know whether or not they are indeed submitting yourself over so they can listen to God and be the most effective representative for him in their household goods great and think about dysfunction if they've not had it model properly. Even that relationship with God can be very challenging because we talked about that in the past. If you didn't see it modeled from their parents and what that heavenly relationship was with heavenly father when he saw dysfunction in the family so then you got a double whammy got the sea ever seen it vertically modeled heresy horizontally modeled with the spouses in the home with your parents. That's very difficult, and then it goes to the children it and I am forsaking for one of those whose families were talk about this been totally transparent and that people have often said I can't believe you turned turned up at us, but it's it's it's very awakening when you become an adult and then you look back there so many things that as I grew up that I thought was normal and that we will and all that. Things lowered was part of every day and every week everybody's in the middle. This type of situation.

Indeed, they weren't necessarily like go with what we were doing and then down the road. There was another fellow inmate was doing other problems that we want to, but to point to leadoff everybody has dealt some level dysfunction.

Most people it's a 998% of families.

There are a few of those other pretty doggone good shape right well I think everybody has. I got go with 100%. And the reason why is because if we're being truthful about family members. There's always a member within that family. Whether it's immediate or extended family that will create or cause dysfunction just because of the lifestyle that you know so so you know families you know have people who might be same-sex, you know that you might have individuals who are heavy drinkers or you know individuals who are compulsive liars. You know so you have some of that and all it takes is just one route. We often hear people call and say they got on the black sheep of the family is okay for black sheep yeah is a so you bed, that's if it's okay for me to say keep up with the Joneses. They had to wear them. That's a definite all is nothing about it with him is a trail with this is not a problem but that that is so true will and it could be any number of things like that typically happens when someone's going against the grain of what the leadership of the home right right so whether you living lifestyle agreeable to your to your family or you drink too much.

Are you lying all the time is constant deception, the sort of thing so yeah and and I bet most of our listeners… Yeah absolutely yes absolutely yes if their alcoholism are trust issues, fidelity issues, all those things that creates major major collateral damages. We use that term is role of the father.

Things got try to control the collateral damage right so this creates a massive amount of collateral damage in lot of homes so we we arrived at the fact I think that there is dysfunction and so what does dysfunction a dysfunctional member of the family went affect where they have on individuals who, for example, are trying to live a lifestyle that's pleasing to the Lord and so now you have this individual who is thrown into the mix, because you know they are not functioning.

According to maybe the rest of the family or they are not viewed. You know, in the sense of someone who is functioning normally right now and and I know that a lot of people would listen to those terms. And they say well that's a lot of subjectivism you know but we understand the premise you know that individuals who are not functioning according to how others look at them in that and and again when someone is dysfunctional there causing chaos right there causing you know disruption in the family there, causing division in the family and so you know, in today's society.

If you listen to your psychologist or sociologist, they would simply say that's normal. But for the child of God. We are trying to build on the solid foundation again.

The thing that came to my will. When you talk about what what is the what what is the calls were things happen for me. The first word came to mind. The disruption was the piece piece doesn't exist in the midst of that type of dysfunction. For me personally, I've seen many families there's a piece missing that that columnist it should reside home should be a safe place homes. The frame should be a safe place. There's enough dysfunction outside the home that should be escaped when you get back in the house that should be your place of peace with your parents with your children. It often times not for that very reason is because this dysfunction and how do you fix that. Really that's that's what… Yeah I'm in the middle that what I do about and you know we don't have all the pictures other than we know who has the answer is of heavenly father and who can take and calm the waters. He can calm the storm piece back in the home and the desk that they will leave you with today's report. This conversation there is hope. There's hope to get through this. That's right, but we have to understand to him that when Jesus came in Matthew chapter 10 versus 34 to 36 Jesus says don't think that I've come to bring peace, but I came to bring a sword and he said where you will have a person or men against fathers, daughters against mother's mothers against daughters dollars in logins mother-in-law mother-in-law can start so you going to have division from the sheer fact that you believe and you following Jesus Christ. So that's what he meant that that that that people and we's we can read this throughout history people have turned in their family members because they were born again believers. This is 10 times polyester, turn them in because you know they feared that if they were caught in a home with someone who was a follower of Jesus Christ. Then all of a sudden you know they would say hey you know you are part of this family.

So therefore we taken YouTube and overthrow you to the liens or do whatever it is I plan to do so. So from the sheer fact that you are a follower of Christ you're going to be looked at as dysfunctional if there are individuals who are in the household who are not born again that goes in society goes in workplaces right where to start with this at the conversation for radio station with demand does things like we think walk like we walk in terms of our phone Christ in need, or if, in today's time is called what it is. In today's time believing like we believe is false Christ that we are viewed as the dysfunction court in society and the persecutions that's that's that's that's the other lane of traffic if you will, is the followers of Christ that are viewed as dysfunctional and then the first lender talk about was just a normal household not be a spiritual delineation of separation because the dysfunction just a normal human side of the old self. You even for those of been born again to often return back to the to the Son of Man versus being the son of God, you know, in their daily walk right exactly. And you know that when we're viewed as dysfunctional course. Jesus said that again. You know, in Matthew chapter 5 around verse 10 or 11 heat.

He talked about.

He said you going to be persecuted for my namesake QA people are going to hate you for my namesake, so he says it right there because we are we are building our lives off of the foundation which is Jesus Christ. And so when we start building off of that foundation, we can understand the people who are in our family who are calling us dysfunctional because you we used to live and do what they used to do right so we used to walk and give over to that sin nature and the sin nature course began to take over and we begin to follow it rather than following Jesus Christ right.

We know that's the Son of Man that being here as were born right into or become followers of Christ born again we become some of God right that point was once the Holy Spirit is moved to heart so that Son of Man doesn't disappear.

It's just it's it's always present. That's why the renewing of the mind all those components of daily scripture reading, meditation with the father listening to the father is so important, so that the old man. The Son of Man stays down because that's that's what history is this how you remember where you grew up what you did all those things. But the son of God being that you been born again has to be one stays on on the rise and continually renewing right a man well yeah I like using the term the old man the old man because the old man refers to the sin nature. Does that like oak makes me think if you think I'm old or something like that.

They may think I'm yeah I keep my migrations. Also you visible and I have a beer with kids the phone so what's all the chair a little wisdom what's on the team could be on the headset is with the mayor is also caught him claiming of the walking is CMM would love to have you join their community of men for breakfast every first and third Friday of every month, Bible discussions and fellowship after the best breakfast in town meeting location is in their voracious poster First Christian Church encouraged 1130 N. Main St. encouraged him a hard start at 7 o'clock on a hard stop at 8 o'clock. First time visitors eat for free. Join your host will party Roy Jones Junior, a black guy in a white guy affordable chiropractic in High Point.

As you might tell from their name, affordable chiropractic, even for the cash. Patient Dr. Jeff Ricky has been caring for patients in High Point for 34 years, physical therapy, such as ultrasound and spinal decompression for disc conditions such as herniation conference of care for auto accident injury patients with no out-of-pocket expense. Remember, affordable chiropractic on the West Lexington High Point Hall 336-885-1987. Welcome back to man's greatest were chatting about the dysfunctional family and one of the things that comes to my will is it without the collateral damage. Nothing.

People often times they didn't know any better than the middle of the storm. The rep don't recognize the guess would be the best with what they don't recognize it. Like I said when I was growing didn't envision envision our family has been dysfunctional, but as I got out and got grown insoluble how dysfunctional we were in need of the collateral damage not just in that moment in time. Being raised as pensions, parenting, the children lateral dams comes generation next right. If a person been raised in that and they've not found Christ as their personal savior and live in the new life in versus the old man the old soldier talk about. And there still that that cycle will continue. And then it'll just replicate itself. That will just continue to flow through the offspring of the children of that individual until it gets broke and that's the sad part about all this is that and we don't recognize as things typical in the middle of. But this is the reality. Collateral damage will continue and get worse over time and have seen it happen in the children in the way that the children grow up not the first generation second-generation children and how their lives are just all over the board divorces premises out of wedlock can't hold a job get along with people trust issues always changing friends always moving around all the sorts of things are byproducts of this dysfunction that I have personally witnessed absolutely right, and what a person does is is you write is a cyclic effect because it it continues to go on through the family until such time one of the family members come to the knowledge of Jesus Christ and give their life over in the end they could witness that, but you you absolutely right because when a person is going through the dysfunction and they are a young child.

They have no ideal that you know where living outside of the scope of quick God want us to live and we think everything is okay so yeah and in the that goes back to the old sold old self old man is that we think that we know best and that we think it's okay to do things we do until we get back lives.

And I've seen people that were have accepted Christ a note. Anyone is listening since-that they return to the old self in, and for various reasons, lack of fellowship lack of personal time with God.

Lack of that deep relationship, lack of being in the word, lack of the larger body of fellowship. All those things contribute to that and I think that's what's important. If you listing is that there better, there is hope there is a way to break the cycle and is we look around society today. You can break the cycle.

First you gotta do it by making a decision for Christ. If you already follow Christ in the middle of this mess, say, why am I still in the middle of this dysfunction immediately to help the folks in your family be praying with a plate form supporting them, getting sometimes it requires counseling to will we talk about that in case about counsel.

Sometimes it requires counseling for an individual or the family to work through some of these issues and some of the bags it's been laid out there that well and you and I know that if if a family or member of a family who was dysfunction and they understand that there is dysfunction and they want to seek help, then that's where it has to begin that it has to begin to where I want healing within my family because as a family. You can be happy, but you will never experience joy joy and happiness are two different things. Joy. It's it's it's has an eternal purpose. If you will, whereas happiness is just temporary. You know I'm I'm happy if when you get paid when you get that bonus you happy.

This is like oh wow you know that's good that I worked all this time and all of a sudden bonuses come through or you you know it's a real hot day outside, and you got to eat your favorite ice cream on the cone will as long as you read that ice cream is like wow this is good. I never wanted to end and then assumes that hand. It's like now I'm sad again because you know I finished my favorite ice cream. I once more I lean in the end that example you know is just an example. It it's far deeper and it reaches far greater. I think within each and every individual within the household. Yeah, I don't disagree with that all will in dysfunction. Growing up for me was the one of things. Looking back is assured was was so detrimental, so detrimental luckily got brought me through all that and those were relieved that it released from it, but it took quite some time as an adult to learn the right way to do things. What God intended for us is meant to be doing families think if you listing today. Yes, yourself and what about done that needs reparation as part of that dysfunction is a great opportunity to make things right. And there's some stuff reading right now together is set talk about that thing in the space and for me it struck struck a chord that said hey you need to make sure you have forgiven everyone involved in the stuff you growing up with that you grew up with and then also because if you don't then you continue to live that out because got you before blessing because you're still hold onto those little nuggets in the back absolutely and and you actually becoming a prisoner to the fact that you will forgive you now sully a person who don't forget, that's what left you know that's what's happening.

You become a prisoner because you won't release from your self. This weight is that you should release and you continue to hold on it so and and if you see your brother go into a situation to whereas you know they may have you not done you some some harm or said something that might have hurt you know that then you call that out to your brother because they would continue to go on and and think that hey, I did not observe his individual and why are you not talking to me today on whatever the case may be, so it is really not how necessarily what they say to us is what how we respond to them say that shows the true heart of a born-again believer who does want to things as you talk to that will part of the study is that that passes on through generations to the unforgiveness based on the way, if you're holding that the way you treat your family and you mentally recognize it to the point of how you treat your children or your wife based on something that happened way back when that you're still holding onto its within the collateral damage continues to impact through the generations of that. Okay you think you've got passes project. Forgive that person still hold onto it so that defines your behavior whether it be conscious or subconscious or lack of knowledge you defines your behavior and interactions to totally release. That's another stronghold that Satan can use to really disrupt your future generations to disrupt existing home place right so those are things that we've got. Be aware, so he is the unity of the master of disasters we talk about still kill and destroy or sinister minister. Here they so there you go folks that that is the reality and I think it will slow down one with the CB things are going on in our homes and our families homes and extended families. We can help. Pray through some of the stuff as well because your your teenager parent if you listening your teenager or young adult. They are not going to want you to get into their business. But you gonna have to get into their business unit and find out as long as they are in your home.

Find out what's going on you know with them because and we going to be talking about discontinuing the talk about this on the on the next show so listen to the next show because we're going to be talking about family, frustrations, rather than dysfunctions. What we talk about now.

I think we need that family comedy in here somewhere can handle frustration tramp just visited it few weeks. Download report, family, and again, very because all all of what is happening in the home is you know once that child leaves there's going to be a residual effect.

The area of the residual effect is in the residual effect is is once you don't investigate and they start bringing stuff into your home and all things started happening to them on the outside of that home and now they're bringing it inside the home and now if something happened to whereas somebody might say, hey, such and such and such was caught with this or was carrying this or was half this type of paraphernalia.

What are you going to do as a parent I was like I had no idea they were doing this I had, you know, no notion that they were bringing this into my house so the thing about it is, is yes, your children might be upset and mad at you, but in the in its for their own good right and so let's that this is a great afternoon to check with your child can't vote child can't drink legally. A child can't carry a gun.

We child can't drive legally in the prior half a dozen other things a child cannot do legally told her after 18 so therefore that means parents are responsible for what they're doing, even if you trust them as a friend once told me trust but verify. We talked about this in the past these funds are one of the greatest windows of opportunity that one of the greatest wonders of disaster so folks if you listing you got a teenager or unit of an adolescent preteen you've given them a smart phone and distrusting that they're doing the right thing with that phone.

Trust me, they're not necessarily doing the right thing with that phone exactly tempted there there natural biological growth patterns in the their target and if you haven't watched it. You need to watch a social dilemma on Netflix which we talked about before and see how your children's habits and behaviors on that phone become a target with algorithms been built around that child's behavior in this smart world from the phone and also things are coming out of the two that will be coming out.

Yes, because you know they can do as much damage. Just drinking alcohol and how they can do just as much damage getting their hand on one of the parents guns. I mean it you know so yes the smart phone weed. We do talk about a lot but we also have to give credence to these other things that's happening that a child can get their hand on, and because this dysfunction yeah come into the family lecture and yet and then all of a sudden you got law enforcement breaking down your door and you wonder what's happened with overlords is a prime example. Let's that medication was prescribed for the parents pain situations and needs a lot of the children are getting the scripts evident family medicine cabinet in OD and on the same note, numerous cases got a friend and personal friends go through that with multiple children involved with the laws of God and fortune from one particular school closure.

So glad George would run out. I will object what I'm to the time exactly I just flew folks come like the ones next week so have you listen to us or that we've been so blessed by what we've seen over the last year and 1/2 two years in terms of numbers. God bless each of you.

We will be back with you next week and talk radio park where we will be talking about family frustration will join us as we wrap up today show. Be assured that TA W CMM talking and walking Christian men's ministry is building a community of men Christ followers with a desire to be servant leaders in their homes, communities, churches and work environments.

Check out our website for upcoming events of regularly scheduled meeting is a note for topics that you would like to have us visit in the future. Thank you for joining us on man talk today. Visit us at www.tawcmm.com men walking the talk. This is the Truth Network