God's Wisdom for Building Great Relationships - Knowing God is the Prerequisite to Loving Others, Part 2

For years, there were two words that seem to always go together in my life prior and guilt no matter how long or how hard I tried to pray I never felt like I measured that until God showed me what I'm finished. Thanks for joining us for this Edition of Living on the Edge with shipping. Chips are Bible teacher for this international discipleship ministry focused on helping Christians live like Christian just a minute. The second chips talk highlight series God's wisdom for building relationships. But before we begin, let me encourage you to try using chips message as outlined rupture references and much more chips.

Those will really help you remember what your and maybe even sure what you're learning to download these message notes go to the broadcast LivingontheEdge.org listeners tap fill in the looks joint should know for part two of his message. Knowing God is he is is the prerequisite to loving others as they are. I remember very first pastorate I was and I was there many nine month year year and half of the most didn't know this fella very well. I came in from out of town and we had this really old car and we really upgraded to this little tiny Subaru wagon I can get all my kids and I came in out of town this when it starts to rain and it hasn't rained for a long time.

The oil from the pavement in the dust. And I mean it is just like ice like this.

And so I'm coming out of Dallas and there's one of those big loops and that is in a semi on the freeway toward my house and you know everyone is careful it's real slick and so everyone's gone like 1215 miles an hour and then in front of me.

There's this bus that you start swimming around like this and hits it into a car is like being in a movie in slow motion.

It's coming it's coming so I can break a little bit and that doesn't work so he hits me and I go to the guardrail that I'm spinning around my car like this. I felt like this you know boom boom and plot is 110 1250 miles an hour and so pretty soon you look around. There's all these cars all messed up like two in the morning like he called Teresa when she does have a car have one car in number to you and I get three kids in their small and I don't know many people in the church whom I can ask as I thought of who's the person ready think of you, this is you, who's the person that you could call at 230 in the morning that would not get angry right and so I called a man named AC and I was meeting with him every I think Wednesday or Thursday morning and we would memorize verses together and keep each other accountable and my sense was that he really cared about me. But there's one thing to meet with a person.

Hello, Bible study, casual friends and I don't have any family in town is different to wake someone up at 230.

Morning say excuse me, could you get out of bed, drive about 40 miles help me get a tow truck and solve my life's problems will I called him and I could hear his voice groggy. He was got up. He came help me get a cut tow truck. We drove back together and that man actually became not only a mentor and a father figure for the last 30 years.

Here's what I want you to see what Jesus was saying Jesus is saying, you know, when I called him. I believed I was shameless. I believe we would actually help me. I believe he was a good man. I believe he cared about me and would be so generous that I would not get you know Chip and I do the new pastor but is 230 in the morning. I hope you have someone is a better friend than me.

Good night. If I can I flip it on you. Can you think of someone you have to come up with a name of someone is kind of an acquaintance. Maybe someone at work.

You just kind that in the church and you have a casual relationship you've exchanged phone numbers and they seem to be drawn to you and you don't really understand why try to be kind, but in your heart of hearts like an acquaintance right nice guy's 230 in the morning you get a call and I say your name and your who's this and I tell your name your thinking you trying to get a picture LOL okay this is a Scott and they began to say, you know, I'm this jam and my car is broken down. I don't have AAA.

I know it's about 35 miles outside of Atlanta. Is there any way you could come and help me see their shameless and what you realizes in your heart of hearts, at least for me at times of had this exchange is where I think were pretty good friends but I don't think were this good friend Museum of science but then your option. I mean it sincere so you say you know what I am not a very good person.

You obviously would only call someone.

I mean, who would you call 230 morning you can get open the phone book go you call someone you believe is good, who is kind would respond and wants to help you when you get that call 230 morning your reaction is whoa united and realize he thought this much of me you know I'm not as good of a person.

I'm really not that kind and so I really can come is that what you do what you do you go out. This person must really think I'm a lot better Christian. I am as I don't really want to go right you see what Jesus is teaching the disciples. The man will get up out of bed because the only person you would call in the middle of the night is someone of them is they are kind and they are good and they are generous so he shameless. Of course I asked this man, because this is the kind of man he is always trying to teach the disciples is it's not how long you pray it's not all that different words you use it when you and could see God as kind and generous and easy to please and not condemning when you come in your crisis and your need.

You won't get a God whose arms are folded their view of prayer was seen. I've seen the Pharisees do it.

If you do it for 45 minutes and then take a break and then another 45 minutes and if you say these certain words over and over and over and over. Maybe somehow someday I can twist God's arm because he doesn't really care about me and I can get him to answer my prayer a total performance works, orientation, and a completely warped view of God and the reason I believe they asked Jesus teach us to pray because I think when they would overhear Jesus, they would they wouldn't see performance. They would see someone who is coming to heavenly father that when ever there was crisis or need or pain.

Jesus went to the safest place in the Jesus went where he knew he was accepted 100% of the time Jesus witnessed someone had unlimited resources, who was not hard to please.

He didn't have to earn or gain or merit his favor. He was a God of loving kindness and grace. Regardless of where we've been and what we've done. That is why he had that in my prayer life. And when the disciples they teach us to pray instead of the company versus company versus how many actual words does he use in this text the teaching for 35 maybe 45 and how much time does he spend explaining. Suppose a man and then ask see not, of course you just ask when you ask someone who loves you who's kind, generous, who wants to help you.

You just ask and receive what we don't. Not sure what to do. We see can you ask this kind of God. You can find and if you cannot, can you not sure about this or that you always open the door you see and till you know God as he really is.

It's impossible to love others as they are because we have this idea that God really is very hard to please that he's really down on us. Most of the time and we think God is trying to fix us like were trying to fix everybody else in the Scripture says it is the kindness of God that leads to change his graciousness and just in case I didn't get it. He goes okay okay look guys, how many of you as human fathers, your eight-year-old runs up to you. Your nine-year-old little girl runs up to you, daddy, daddy. Daddy got a piece of bread and you say yes just a minute. I have in a bag and you take the bag and inside the bag. You say I am so hungry. Yes yes yes you have a little bowl with a lid on you yet. Here's the egg scorpion to understand his logic.

He says you being evil. Fathers would never ever consider doing that to any of your kids and then and in your Bible you circle this this phrase, how much more how much more if an earthly father with all of her struggles in all of our sin and all of our bad days would never do that to his earthly child how much more will you heavenly father come to you and meet you where you are and give you what you need when you come honestly and I get to talk to lots of pastors and church leaders and and lots of us Christians, but if I bring up the subject of how is your prayer life. You can almost you can almost feel the dynamic in the room change I mean you anybody. I don't know anybody who feels like has your prayer on doing great minute.

I it's awesome. I spent hours and hours. It's great intimacy got answers about 94%. My prayers love to pray. Everything's going great. When I talk to pastors how is your prayer on.

Well, I knows not what needs to be in you not know this, and I know that in when I talked to Christians is like well you know it's really hard. My mind wanders. I tried to write a few things down, but mostly you know. Praise God for land traffic. I get scared and I pray then when my kids are in ICU. I pray then and you know when I lose my job. I need some money. I pray then, and otherwise you know I'm I'm I'm just hoping the big man upstairs move that is is really kind and nice to me and you see your prayer life always reveals your level of genuine dependency and instead of feeling guilty about it.

What you need to do is redefine who it is you're talking to and I think redefine price to feel guilty all the time that my prayer life. I mean like you know like some guy came in and said how long should you pray, but let just name and number 15 minutes. What if it's mostly 60. What's a half-hour what was supposed to be two minutes or disposed of in our what I mean you totally missed the point. That's all performance orientation, can I get it good definition prayer keeping company with God is what prayer is.

It's keeping company with God, and the key to a life of seeing God and knowing him for who he really is is just like with any other relationship you have to get to know him and enjoy him. And when you think of prayer is a lot to and got to and feel bad when I don't. I bet you'll have a flat tire and see I prayed and read my Bible this morning it's can be good Hope I didn't try that this is can happen. That's gonna happen. You've got. That's a performance nonprice orientation. Jesus talked to the father because he was the most refreshing safe good, kind, wonderful, willing to help in the middle the night in any crisis of any being in the universe is teaching his disciples get right father. He's not down on you. Can I tell you, God is not hard to please his desires for you are grand, but his understanding is vast he's mindful that your men and women of flash his arms are crossed his toes, not tapping. It's not like you're really down deep is bad guilty person and you need to shape up. And when you shape up.

Then I'll do good things for you.

Doesn't that sound like someone trying to fix someone. Isn't that a lot how we treat others and on about you, but if I'm trying to fix someone which I did for many years my marriage and she's trying to fix me. You know there's a lot of unhealthy conflict and that is in their and Jesus teaches us. I think two major major practices.

The first practices. This bring all your needs to be how much more father who loves you gotta feel guilty about my prayer life anymore. I have come to believe that there is an all-knowing, all powerful, gracious, kind, God no matter where I'm at and what I've done and how much I'm struggling and how adverse a situation this I can come and become a certain way will learn in a minute but when I come real and honest and not playing games always is the how much more God.

How much more will your heavenly father meets you and talk with you and listen to you and help you and put his arm around you and comfort you and encourage you. But there is a way that you have to come we come to God not only with all her needs, but come to God and desperate dependency. The other little phrase I would have you underline Jesus did not make up these stories just out of the blue right he's making a point which of you coming to a friend. Legitimate need and he's already in bed and you shamelessly believe he's good enough is can answer you, and you say I have nothing. You had this times friendship you're in ICU and I don't know if your kids can make it or not I have nothing. This marriage has fallen apart. And there's anger and there's I mean and you're sitting in a pool of tears and wondering. You just find out that the layoffs are final and you don't have a job and you don't have a future and member how you pray then felt God flowing tiered. God help me when I can't solve this. Are you ready fix this.

God please help me and I would suggest that if we had the time and a microphone. We could go around this room at the windows in your life when you were just totally bankrupt. I have nothing and we could tell the most amazing stories of how God showed up in supernatural ways and ICUs and biopsy reports that were this way it went that way and people that have lost people that you love and you thought yourself. I cannot go on. I will never live again and it was five years ago and you've seen how God has healed your life.

You see principal for relationships knowing God as he is is a prerequisite to loving others as they are, and that means that you get a new view of God cannot just tell you he's not down on you. He just love to talk to you and yeah there's a there's a basic format about how to do it. If your mind wanders just like if you were talking to a great friend or your mate or one your kids and your mind wander, they said, think that that you will all come sorry and you just talk when I been out town quite a bit in a Friday. I just had a great afternoon with Teresa and went out on a date this really nice little Italian restaurant had little candle lights and music in the background. We took a walk around all these places and you know if I would've missed that date out about the whole boy once you've done that with you. I went on a date just lover like to hang out with her. I didn't feel it all. I been gone two weeks on you to shore up this part of the relationship. I need to fix or make sure things okay I just said pay back and we just hangout together. We had the talking a long walk and a great meal. It was just like if I would've missed that I would not felt like she was down on me I would've felt like I missed out on something very precious when you begin to see God is a good God, and the kind God gracious God in a loving God who wants to keep company with you and if you would common, stop. We all do in the posturing and in trying to cut a deal like God.

I do this this and this. We do that in and overhear if you do this and I will. I really need this new job we we come play the game of like air traffic spiritual controllers and where the air traffic controller and there's a God that we can tapping if we just get the dial just right and it's okay.over 2 o'clock I got a son going left going south. What I need is supernatural grace missed you over here and got over here. I need a new job in the season and you know and I'm trying to and then know it happens, one time doesn't happen the other and you think for me I need to hold my mouth just writer or or red versus last time before pregnant. That's a key and we play all these games and Jesus said to his disciples to guys you come to the how much more God when you're absolutely bankrupt and you say, I got nothing and I can't fix it and I'm desperate for you and when you ask you receive and when you seek. You will find, and when you knock the door will be open knowing God as is the prerequisite to loving others as they are the right location for this message. Knowing God is a use is the prerequisite to loving others. Relationships are tough because each person has their own expectations, behaviors and securities habits and beliefs. So how can we find common ground to build a lasting bond with people we care about on the series chip reflects on what he's learned about relationships throughout his life ensures insightful wisdom from Scripture for how you and I can create meaningful connections with others to learn more about this entire series. God's wisdom for building great relationships go to Living on the Edge God word that should bring remap or call AAA to 333-6003 will chips with me in studio now and ship it Living on the Edge.

We believe small groups are absolutely vital for people spiritual health is why we have a growing library of resources but with that word you suggest people get started take a minute if you wouldn't knowingly be sure the basic foundational studies you'd recommend will Dave.

We all have special times in our life where there's either crisis or we know we need to improve our parenting are married you are there some emotional issues and his people go through. There's plenty of small group resources like that.

But what I think is missing is what that historically has been called a catechism, a catechism is a well ordered process of truth, by which you go through it systematically and intentionally in order to become more and more like Jesus and to fulfill more and more what Jesus has called us to do and so if you follow Jesus life is actual chronological life. The first thing is, he defined what a disciple is and so the very first study I encourage people to do his true spirituality becoming Romans 12 Christian it a lot of note this is what it means to be a follower of Jesus. The second thing Jesus did his he took them through various experiences to reveal who God was like, what is God really like and so our second study is called the real God and that we studied the attributes of God and how to get them from your head into your heart. The third thing that Jesus did Izzy help them understand how does life change really occur. How do you put into practice. We have a study from Ephesians chapter 4 called transformed the miracle of life change in the fourth will give you because I don't want to lay it all out is that when you take these kind of steps, all hell breaks loose. I don't mean that as a cuss word.

What I mean is it's challenging, it's difficult. There's spiritual warfare. And that's our study from Ephesians chapter 6 is called the invisible war. What every believer needs to know about Satan and demons and spiritual warfare. So let me encourage you unless there is a critical need. I high felt need consider studying in order to catechism the way Jesus taught his disciples. Thanks. Trip was to learn more about the study strip mentioned or any of our other small group resources go to LivingontheEdge.org or call us at AAA 333-6003. Let me tell you, these materials are so easy to use your provides. The teaching then you'll have time to discuss what you've heard alongside our helpful study guides, so you're not in a small group yet or aren't sure what to study. Next, let me encourage you to check this out and for a limited time. All of our small group resources are discounted again visit LivingontheEdge.org or call AAA 333-6003 hapless nurse to have special offers will chip as we wrap up you sure touching story about you and your wife on a date or what's one lesson you'd like your listeners to take away from that story and how that relates to our relationship with God. You know sometimes we we come to work so hard in our relationship with God and we unconsciously just because were human think we need to somehow someway measure up. I mean part of our flesh is a works mentality and I hope you picked up on that little line when I was talking about my dinner out with Teresa I would have missed that I would've not felt like she was down on me or I did something wrong. I would've felt like I missed out on something very precious and very special and I just wonder if that's the way you feel about your time with God because here's the deal. That's the way he feels about you when you miss time with him you go couple days and you don't really pray were you missed your time reading the Bible, God's not arms crossed toetapping finger-pointing. Where have you been you didn't do your little devotionals. He sure father saying I missed you I love you can imagine this we can delight his heart and we can also make him said you know when we come to shut people off in relationships we make them Saturday make us sad will. God is a very real holy, infinite, eternal, but person and he's a person that wants to have a relationship with you. So often we say things so quickly and glibly Jesus came and died to pay for our sins so we can have a relationship with God. The fact of the matter has as he did that to break down the wall so you and I could enter the holy of holies, so that you could know him and enjoy him that you come into the presence of a how much more God who cares about you who loves you and wants relationship with you.

It's a lot more like falling in love and enjoying a relationship then it is fulfilling requirements class get a pause today and just ask God, I mean right now, Lord, would you help me see you as the how much more God really loves me it will change how you pray and how you live before we close. I want to thank each of you make this program possible for your generous giving 100% of your gifts go directly to the ministry to help Christians really live like Christians. If you found the staging helpful, but you're not yet on the team. Would you consider doing that today to send the gift go to LivingontheEdge.org or text the word donate to 741 41. It's that easy text donate to 741 41 or visit LivingontheEdge.org app listeners just tap donate, let me thank you in advance for doing whatever the Lord leads you to do one selects time. This is Dave Drewry thanking you for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge