Being Big Enough to Forgive, Part 2

When you are offended by someone you love how you do it extending when trust is broken when a son or daughter blows. It's hard to set our feelings aside and say you are forgiven. Yesterday, Chuck Swindoll admitted the choice most of us would rather sit on the judgment seat number six. Well, today on Insight for living, Chuck continues the message introduced on Mondays program he's teaching from second Samuel chapter 60 Chuck titled his message being big enough to forgive chapter 16 of David's life is a long way since he's taken the throne has never been lower. Verse five chapter 16 second Samuel, when King David came to bar Marine beholder came out from there man of the family of the house of Saul, whose name was Shelby. I saw here.

He came out, cursing continually as he came in he first.

David ended all the servants of King David and all the people in all the mighty men were at his right hand and it is left and thus show me I said when he cursed get out Umana bloodshed, you worthless fellow. See verse nine Bashar, the son of zero. I said to the king why should this did dog curse, my lord the king, let me go over now and cut off his head.

David is a choice.

He can become offended or not. The king said what have I to do with you sons there, I think, curses, and if the Lord is told and cursed David, and who shall say, why have you done so. Verse 12 perhaps the Lord will look on my affliction and return good to me instead of his cursing.

This day somebody did that with the kids. The kids are bought and they'll finally come back and say you know I blew it. I have no business doing such and such and you can you can dangle them there for weeks and play that cruel game, making them wonder where they stand with you when they were men or women enough to say I did wrong. The most gracious and mature responses.

Perhaps the Lord will look on the affliction and return good midst of cursing. Okay, keep that in the in the corner of your mind because when you look at the other side of the case.

Chapter 19 is plan B. Here we find David in this 19th chapter beginning about verse thoughts about verse 16. On the other side. Now, Absalom is been brutally murdered. Against David's wish, but Absalom is removed from the throne, and all of a sudden, people are turning back to David and removing his household goods back over the Jordan to get back on the throne. It's a coronation it's a day of delight.

He's come from low-level up to the highest mountain top and it's a great experience of rejoicing is David is about to be enthroned again as the king and of all things comes the reptile verse 16 shimmy I the son of Guerra, the Benjamite who was from by Rheem hurried and came down with the men of Judah to meet King David and there were thousand men of Benjamin with it with zebra serve the house of Saul and his 15 sons and his 20 servants with him.

They rushed to the Jordan before the king and the Crossing the Ford to bring over the king's household there in a hurry to get back on the throne. The great day to do what was good in his sight and shimmy I the son Guerra fell down before the king as he was about to cross the Jordan said the king, let not my lord. Consider me guilty know remember what your servant did wrong on the day when my lord the king came out from Jerusalem, so that the king should take it to heart for your servant knows that I have sinned. The three hardest words in the English language to say to the one you've offended, but he said it because I have sinned. Therefore, I have come today the first of all the house of Joseph to go down to meet my lord the king, I am wrong before I go any further. I know you're anxious to see how that response came out. Let me add that you might be in the shoes of shimmy I would picture shimmy. I some distant kind of caricature that lived in the Old Testament, but there shimmy eyes here. We've all played a liberal, you don't. What is wrong you know you don't what is wrong. You have said you have done you have, whatever. And you know an individual has been hung up on that and you're not free, and he or she is not free and the balls in your court.

Your serve as your move. Do it. That's what you made up a list now. Don't make a false list.

Don't feel you be more spiritual if your list is longer just honestly in an authentic manner just on veil in an honest manner.

Your life before your own mind in the Lord's eyes and and come up with individuals that you have got to come to terms with that stuff. I had to do this with our children on occasion. It's hard and because it's very, very personal between us. I want to use it as an illustration and exploit, but rather recently I came to terms with one of our children and I got some time with that particular one, and we really had a talk and I made it very clear that I was just if not hundred percent, almost 100% in the wrong. While the child was in the right and I took advantage of the child and all alone quietly.

We through tears and almost an hour's time. Got it all work through what's beautiful it's hard gutsy stuff and so I like the way I was raised was raised to do that. I was raised, you know, it's like you were. You can't do it why because I said so, which is to be the Superdome answering all the universe should know because I said so dozen is nonanswer excuse the cop out and parents don't apologize to children, says it where show it to me if the child is offended by an angry our offending father used to have forgiveness by the care of the child is three or 33 is how you build bridges. That's how you put families back together. You cannot believe the number of individuals we minister to the just can't seem to bring themselves to that sample term. The child is also a person hears David but you know they've been a different hey that's a safe response. Oh shimmy. I ignore them shy.

George Bernard Shaw writes the worst sin toward your fellow creatures not to hate him, but to be indifferent toward. That's the essence of inhumanity of just letting die forgiveness. That's gray each controlled well now here's David shimmy eyes spread all out of the ground saying I'm wrong, I did what in verse 21 of God blessing at the shy son is there.

I answered and said, should not shimmy to put to death for this because he cursed the Lord's anointed. Always have that counselor.

That is, he picture when your dad to get back to him hard. 22. You will believe it. David says what about your son is sleeves arms like a bird little a little worse. Same guy that you should this day be an adversary to me is not the way you handle it should be put to death in Israel day were I know that I'm do you not know that I'm king over Israel day the king said to shimmy you shall not die and he swore to it like a family like that once whole reptile we could forgive. First of all is vertical focus never got a got a whack never got out of sync. This God you not handle this dorky thing he said to the day. Who cares God you take that offense.

Your good defenses when he was secondly very much aware of his own failure to make good for givers. The forgiven and I can spot an individual who is super proud is a hard time forgiving just focus back on when you needed forgiveness is focus back was another cleansing feeling when that person said that's fine wasn't horrible and they didn't declare it very much aware of his own failures, people in that camp have a tough time of tolerance. They also don't make good leaders, good leaders have lot of tolerance a lot of space for for humanity. Okay, he swore to let me share with you some suggestions that it has if we haven't already on the how to put this into action got your list, don't you okay number one.

Cultivate a thicker layer of skin. Well, you say, what to do, but you don't tell us how to do it.

That's tough to do. I would ask God for it to be a new one to throw on the throne Lord new layer of skin. Please Lord help me not to be so delicate. Lord, take away this silly sensitivity. This this delicate china doll mentality of mine and give me a depth make me like Christ do that soon.

Never friend. Have your friend help you with that of your friend whom you respect help you know how to develop that that that cushion the buffer that can take those jolts and just bounce right off peers see that older mind is that you receive this little dog you get for your for your kids is a big weight in the bottom stand on that thing goes on and come back up again and again handsome again and hits a beginning just keeps bouncing back up.

No, I got that sense of balance within it just keeps bringing it back in the slightest little.

Most of us, we just think we died. We check out a church sit in our room you know can even pray just so thin-skinned. We really need that second try to understand where the offender is coming from. That takes the tics grace. Try to see me on the offense and look inside the little boy inside that man lashing out. Try to see where the offender is coming from that little girl inside that woman lashing back trying to figure out why would they be doing that this swing swing at me sometimes because of enslaving stamps to me, but I something happens in the home and you don't express her discontent. You just put a stamp in your book and then three days later, something else happens instead of saying hey you know what that really is embarrassing is no stamp and before long, three, four, five months, maybe a couple years ago a whole book then you redeem them like he says come on let's go. That's all my nieces were all and you could say to him just redeemed my book. If you are a wise person. You will observe when books have been redeemed as a cook over at Coco's not far from our joint here where I had supper the other night and the manager was in a foul mood on Thursday and he was snapping at the cooks and I are house was the zoo that evening. One kid was going one direction one another and since it was take another one you know, for all I knew when to go up the cliff that night so I thought I would go over Coco's new Hamburg and come on the board meeting and so I was over the Jordan I was eating and all of a sudden on a low-slung friction.

I watch this dynamic happening and thought.

Now watch this. So the manager said something strong. The cooking cook was just doing his thing. The name given him say they had no involvement in the manager said someone else doing cook was livid. As Ben Gregson finally put a solid together and starting up there nothing you left out the parsley or something in the manager's payment to them and cook just leaned over and said okay you got the parsley and stuck it on there and I thought what manner of man is EE David reincarnated her something back there in the note, the manager apologized. He said they just not my day and he told them two or three things that it happened, they just tick them off and then the cook responded most equipment I understand. I said to keep telling myself that it couldn't be me. So I just left you on the back burner simmering classic answer manages to look inside. He saw behind the manager is a bad day that's great you save all kinds of offenses if you just look beyond this silly little stupid comments that are said and you know down deep inside and something's wrong redeeming a book maybe maybe a bad day. Maybe I'm just the closest one. You know the guy gets yielded work goes home and screams at his wife and the wife gets angry and his when the kid to get what boots the cat gets on trial all night.

Runabout is about to bite my make life so complicated that it's not that complicated.

Just deal with it as it comes. Honesty number three recall times in your life when you have needed forgiveness and apply the same emotion times in your life and you really needed to be forgiven I can share this Easter week was unreal. You guys were enjoying it and relaxing in the great truth of the resurrection is coming unglued by family and I were at odds. I had traveled too much was gone too much and that, all hit the fan. One evening, and next morning oldest son was bent out of shape and daughter was at his throat and he lashed out and I lashed out and so breakfast was kind of a disaster so that evening he took off her work. Things weren't resolved since in our economy at odds with each other and I just thought and I'm canceling another trip, so I canceled it. Went home. I made it right with my wife.

Start with an adult with the child and another and I thought kerchief work we getting lot there some column on the car drove out worries working this late in the evening. You know you know anything that is in their cleaning up this building block.

A majority does he finally does come, he opens a door and he looks at all of us and he said I'm having such a hard night and he collapsed his mother's arms. They cried kids cried. I cried and we walked in. He was cleaning his Wycliffe building and so we set around this great Wycliffe conference table.

All these great missionary pictures on the wall were in their bleeding all over the table and fatten up wounds and good stuff happened in that room that night we's got it all on the open we needed forgiveness. Hardly a person in the family hadn't done something that was dumb, offensive, we just dealt with fourth verbalize your forgiveness say it don't think it say it. Verbalize your forgiveness with such words as hey let's go on from here. Let's go on, those words are marvelous therapy. I forgive you pay, let's go on.

Start over. Let's begin from Ground Zero.

We learn through it. Let's go on Stuart Briscoe rights some years ago a fashionably dressed woman came to my study very distressed.

She had made a commitment to the Lord a few days earlier, but it asked to see me because something was troubling her.

She poured out an unpleasant story concerning an affair she had been having with one of her husband's friend. Then she insisted that her husband should know and that I should telling that was a new experience for me. After some discussion with the woman I call the husband when he arrived at my study.

I told him what happened. His response was a remarkable and beautiful thing to behold. Turning to his tearful and fearful wife. He said I love you. I forgive you.

Let's make a new start. Many things had to be straightened out and much hurt had to be healed, but his response of forgiveness made possible by his own understanding of the forgiveness of God became the basis of a new joy and a new marriage is hard preaching hard here in that you list go to it. Let's pray we tried all Lord before we try the right thing.

Silence grudge religious indifference even plotting a way to maneuver and manipulate to get our offender in a vulnerable spot so we can kick him. This is a very real problem that everyone of us wrestles with Lord somebody who hears my words at this moment she is the sharp edges of what you have been saying. I pray for you to give great grace to some families do some working relationships in an office where there is the acid of resentment to school kids collegians as well. Maybe faculty members may be pastors help us a lot. Lord I get really shaky when we think about this kind of stuff. It's one thing to see a cook do it at a corner restaurant, but something altogether different to stand in his shoes. So I ask you help us to put feet to her home right. It is in the name of Jesus Christ I asked this a powerful message on extending God's grace to others. You're listening to Insight for living, our Bible teacher Chuck Swindoll titled this message being big enough to forgive its message number 21 in his 24 part series in a just a few programs. Chuck will conclude this comprehensive biography on David to learn more about this ministry, we invite you to visit us online@insideworld.org while heartrending stories like the one you heard today remind us that the wisdom of the Bible is timeless and it speaks to both sinners and those who forgives sinners.

While there's still time. We encourage you to reach out and request a copy of Chuck's biography on David, there's a full chapter on the topic Chuck addressed today. His book is called David a man of passion and destiny to purchase a copy. Call us if you're listening in the United States, call 800-772-8888 or visit Insight.org/store these daily programs are made possible not to the purchase of resources, but the voluntary donations from grateful listeners like you, and during the summer months when many are away on vacation were especially grateful for your consistent support. When you give your the channel that God is using touch lives. Listen to this encouraging note that just arrived from a woman who heard Chuck's teaching online. She said I'm a single mom, my 47-year-old son has been running with the world. All his adult this message spoke to me with such encouragement makes us so happy to know that the insight for living has become a beacon of light for single mom feels burden for her adult son. And when you give your playing a role in these ministry moments to get a contribution today.

Call us if you're listening in the United States, call 800-772-8880 or go to insight.. In March, 20, 23 insight for living ministries is hosting an unforgettable journey to Israel carefully planned to deepen your understanding of the Bible and draw you closer to God hears Chuck Swindoll for thousands of years. No place is more meaningful to God's children in the land of Israel. The rugged landscape reminds us to find refuge in God alone. The fertile valleys invite us to follow our ship Jerusalem's position at the very center of the world announces the good news of Christ's every nation and now you can see Israel with Chuck Swindoll at Insight for living ministries March 5 through the 16th 2023. Every time I visited the holy land of returned home with the refreshed part for God and a renewed vision for the world really. I mean it every time. So I want you to have the same life changing experience to learn more, go to Insight.org/events call this number 1-888-447-0444 insight for living ministries toward Israel is paid for and made possible by only those who choose to attend. I'm Bill Meyer inviting you to join us.

When Chuck Swindoll describes a painful season in David's life and the beautiful song that followed. That's Wednesday on insight for living in the preceding message being big enough to forgive was copyrighted in 1978, 1988, 1997 and 2009 and the sound recording was copyrighted in 2009 by Charles R.

Swindoll.

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