Getting Back on Target, Part 2

Today was a reset it better than the league trap scented pewter marsh marriage is not a federation of two sovereign states. It is a union domestic, social, spiritual, physical, it is a fusion to hearts. The coming together of two tributaries which after being joined in marriage will flow in the same channel in the same direction carrying the same burdens of responsibility and obligation.

You are writing a merry-go-round is a lot of fun to board the platform with someone you love. Once the wheel starts spinning.

You can never escape the centrifugal force constantly pulling you from the center today on Insight for living.

Chuck Swindoll helps us understand how to hang on for the ride and how to resist the forces working against us. He draws his counsel directly from the source. Looking at Genesis chapters 2 and three, titled today's message getting back on as long as there is been marriage. There have been these four principles which I will give you an one word term. The first is the word severance verse 24.

For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother severance is a second word permanent severance is followed naturally by permanent see the word and he will be joined to his wife if the idea of sticking to clinging in affection and loyalty. This is not a clinging vine kind of clinging.

This is a wonderful and healthy connection and linkage a permanent bonding is the idea Jesus goes a step further. In Mark 10 verse nine where he says God has joined together let no one what put asunder our separate it in other words, it's to be permanent, to be part now once again you may sit there and say man Chuck you you talking to somebody else already gone through to these in need. What I'm working on right now Dave is wait a minute. Were talking about now we talking about the future. The other is another subject, what you have done. This is now about where you go from here. One of the great mistakes Christians make is by constantly draining all the sadness and the wrongs of the past, forgetting that they are forgiven and life goes on all from now on there will be if there is a marriage and for the right reasons. There is to be a permanence in the bonding what God is joined. Let no one separate that that's a magnificent kind of home to come out.

By the way I I am thrilled to say that both Cynthia and I came from homes where moms and dad stuck it out stayed together, pulled it off. Neither had perfect marriages but there was a commitment to the bond that made all the difference in the world in the world and the kids now.

The third is the word unity in the verse 24 they shall become one flesh. Oneness unity don't confuse this with uniformity. Okay, this is unity.

Eve was not created to become a female Adam K they were to be in union with each other. She was not to be a clone. She wasn't a vanilla shadow who lived in his way, living her life it in the sense of nonentity because she's now the wife of the strongman. It isn't that unity is is all about differences brought into harmony. There is a difference in personality. There is a difference in interest.

There are differences in tastes. I find sick marriages window. There is a controlling partner and the partner doesn't give the. The other one freedom to be and to cultivate gifts and strengths and abilities that God III can't speak for you, but I can tell you my story about ruined our marriage. The first 10 years I expected Cynthia to be the female chart you can you think of anything more miserable than the trattoria emailed me. I want her to have my opinions. I want her to have my interest.

I wanted her to think the same thing the same taste same that we were going to a similar direction, but I wanted all that just exactly like I said, because it was right.

I wanted her to be just like that I will never forget dark dark evening in New England. We were there trying to make a ministry work in. I was at wits end and she said on top of all the other keys and you know honey I just like to tell you it tears in her eyes. She said I like it.

Not to say publicly that were partners that may make you feel good and look good to see that. But that's not true is that yes it is.

She said no it's not. I said yes it is and she said no it's not, and walked out, walked upstairs and close the door and I said the kitchen table and I thought she's right. He's exactly right. I did a quick pass in review of habit side formed in controlling almost neurotic things I demanded. I went over some things were. I'd virtually put her in the bonding to every jot and tittle that I expect and my style had been had become harsh and hard to live with. Never forget walking up stairs and open the door not set down the side of the bid.

She's crime I said you're right and I can keep on that led into about four years of the hardest work we've ever done this a couple as I defaced my stubbornness and my unwillingness to bend my blindness. I discovered another woman in her life that I'd never seen before.

I built a respect that I had never had before doesn't mean I didn't lead the home.

I live now freer and easier than ever because she felt loved. She felt believed in hotels in her corner. Years passed and I've never hearing her speaking to a group on time.

We have started a little radio ministry called Insight for living and she was describing how it came together in I realized at work and I have this ministry, she's can have to run it because out of the brains to run that that kind of thing in and she very graciously added that to her work world, along with four kids and put it on the map if you will. She was speaking very graciously to a group and she said, by the way, the best partner. The best part of all of this is that my husband is my partner. I got all the bad they didn't know the history of that. I just remembered back 15 years earlier when what true you say partner in column eight, but if there is a sense of unity, in turn, one person into a slave. Nobody is ever said it better than the late chap of the Senate, Peter Marshall, marriage is not a federation of two sovereign states. It is a union domestic, social, spiritual, physical, it is a fusion of two hearts the union of two lives the coming together of two tributaries that beautiful the coming together of two tributaries which after being joined in marriage will flow in the same channel in the same direction carrying the same burdens of responsibility and up union unity distinctive as to rivers that convert and become one making the rapids even stronger in the river even deeper. Fourth, and in line these by the way common in order because their severance. There can be permanence and with permanence. There can be a unity you can develop it, knowing or not you walk out on each other and with that sense of unity and oneness.

There could be intimacy.

Intimacy the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. You know what isn't.

Here self-consciousness cycle. There's no shame. They were all about the other person create an and there were no carryovers from Hertz in the past or abuses from former life, no hangups, no embarrassment, no uneasiness, no trouble at work that flows over into the home.

No disease past that hasn't been true murder somehow healed and corrected in made functional rather than dysfunctional is no dysfunction there together and and the sexual union is the most pleasant fulfilling and freeing of the experience grant. Howard says it so well in his book the trauma of transparency as a believer naked yet without any sense of shame. This does not mean that they have no sexual desires. It simply means that they have not learned that sexual desire could be directed toward evil lands. They looked upon the sexual organs in the same way we regard the hands or the face they were comfortable with each other.

There were no barriers between them here for the moment, was that delicately balanced combination of truth and transparency. I love that line here for the moment, was that delicately balanced combination of truth and transparency that the world now struggles to understand and achieve how off target. We've gotten men I mention intimacy. We all think six that's only part of it. When one is intimate.

There is intimacy of conversation there is intimacy of discussion. There is intimacy of silent's. There is intimacy of past times, there was an intimacy carrying of grief in the midst of loss. There's an intimacy of partnership and suffering and yes there is intimacy in the bed that is just an outflowing of the intimacy of two lives.

That's it. Our world Mrs. perverts. Why, because of chapter 3 curtain closes on chapter 2. Would you go forever last forever. And then the snake shows up and the tempter with his with his soothing and appealing voice and his direction toward their curiosity and and before you know it. She takes and eats of the forbidden tree in an atom's eats, where was Adam when she was tempted anyone protecting her. I didn't say no no no get out here.

He doesn't, and of all think she surely having been told by Adam of the instruction is surely she knew and she offers him and then and he takes and they both tumbled fall, sin transpires and changes everything. It's all changed. You can't tell the difference about looking but you can by watching what they do. Verse seven the eyes of both of them were open when the amazing thing they weren't blind before but now they see a whole different light. The eyes of both of them were open and say they were naked. How weird is that it's true. They are so minded they didn't know they were naked.

Chapter 2. What about them. Now it's all about. I mean, it's all about how they felt at that moment there. This this will there are three things that occur number one they become self absorbed. They knew they were naked day atoms are focusing on Adam and Eve is now focusing on even so, there's so absorbed instead of being other countries there self-conscious second, they withdrew from one another before there was harmony and unity of intimacy and cleaning it cleaving to one another and leaving parents. Now there's the withdrawing from one another instead of enjoying each other's company. They get busy making their own aprons. They don't make one for Eve, she make one for him look at it. They knew they were naked. So they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves long covering that there's a sense of shame is no reason for shame, but they said they now their minds are darkened. Their wills were changed, their emotions are different and they pulled back they withdraw from each other before they so everything is God saw it that they they thought his thoughts they had his perception his mentality. Now the their their abilities with each other. They were free anymore. They immediately cover-up transparency has fled the scene now to make matters more complicated, along comes the Lord God. Verse eight. They heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day he's she's been doing that for an undetermined period of time he would meet with them and they would walk and talk together and now they hear him and would you look at this the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord. So third they ran and hid from the creator how Dell's head. You can't hide from omniscience hide behind the trees. God made you got x-ray. They should sin is entered in fear replaces joy another's distance and alienation and discomfort and uneasiness to us all sense of shame. And God says you know. Misunderstand, he hadn't. He is at a loss. He's not going where could he be saying where you where you there always been right here Eve doing out there. Verse 10 is the first recorded words of a sinner in the Bible. Don't miss for the first time a sinful Homo sapiens speaks I I I heard the sound of you in the garden that's true and I what I was afraid that's true because I was naked. That's not the whole truth, I do so they I ate from the tree you told me not to eat from naked yellow, but I disobeyed and see that two realities were forced to face will never escape them because through one man sin entered into the world, and death on all because all the sand. First of all, here's a reality we would rather lie than admit the whole truth. We are we are experienced as liars we know how to do it.

We learned from our parents. They learned it from there's we all learned it from Adam would rather lie would rather do a half-truth, and the whole thing. I have disobeyed and he doesn't say that he said I was naked and we notice God's question who told you you were naked as always made me smile a little.

If you have your shirt off.

Do you know it. I mean I if I got a zipper that will go all the way up. I won't even wear that garment till I get that fixed. I got a button that's missing.

I know every missing button and sometime embarrassed when somebody points out, no zippers open. I know, but he said he said who told you you were naked, and before July again, goddesses eat from the tree. Face it: what is and Adam when he does get get cornered verse 12 says the woman you gave me. I was alone and you came up with idea and only beer yet and brought her along and and a woman says it's a snake and in he deceived me. One of the just say what happened. The second reality we all have to face.

We would rather blame someone else than take full responsibility.

I could correct two things in any marriage, it would be number one. From now on all of us would tell the truth. Hard as it is second. None of us would ever again blame somebody else affect see we work out techniques so we manipulate the situation.

Casey Stengel, manager of the New York Yankees.

What said the secret to managing is to keep the guys who hate you away from the guys who were still undecided. It's all part of the manipulation we we got a deal where we work it out and we keep this group out of their that group there. We cover this error we don't cover that we cannot just business, such as good bidders, Chuck. That's how we do business and know that's way it works know and I don't know.

I know that's way others do it, just say don't spend it.

I disobeyed God I disobeyed you directly. Eve I disobeyed.

I even gave it to him and he ate no excuses.

You know what a relationship with God starts right there is a 60 could great closing point God's seeking them knowing already what they done.

Creighton got done here, mingle. I never knew that God does have eaten but he seeks Adam becomes to walk with him in the cool of the evening. We still see Star Wars a lover of our souls reaches out and says I know all too, Vladimir yourself any longer. Don't blame anybody just like you preserve the final minutes of today's program to hear Chuck Swindoll lead us in prayer, if at all possible, please stay with us were talking about God's design for marriage, Chuck titled today's message getting back on target. This is in sight for living learn more about this ministry. Visit us online@insightworld.org will no advice, no counsel surpasses the kind of wisdom offered in the Bible and for husbands and wives is so important to consult the author of marriage. Along those lines, I remind you Chuck is written the daily devotional that provides the same kind of direction for life and relationships is called wisdom for the way in this substantial book contains a chapter for every single day in the year. I think of all the competing voices you hear throughout an average day from daily news sources to the constant stream of trivial information online will this devotional wisdom for the way will guide your thoughts and help you stay on target and it's available for purchase when you call us if you're listening in the United States dial 1-800-772-8888 or go to insight.org/offer these daily programs are made possible because people like you give generous gifts and through your support. People all over our country and even around the world are learning to place their trust in God. For example, I was encouraged to read a note from a listener in Indiana who said I first found insight for living well sitting in jail. Chuck help me realize I need God in my life. Now I'm 40 months clean from all drugs will thanks for making these moments possible is one who financially supports insight for living, you play a significant role in providing these daily programs to men and women who were searching for the truth to give a contribution today go to insight.org/donate or call us if you're listening in the US dial 1-800-772-8888 now, as promised, here once again is Chuck Swindoll. This power hits all lies. Let's stop it all blaming that squinted morning through running. I'm no longer blaming anybody else for where I find myself here. I am God deliver me from this rat race break the habits that I formed that are hurtful. I acknowledge that your son paid the price for my sins. Every one of them. I can't change my sins or my nature. If I have him gone the power in heaven myself I take your love to take your offer to come to the cross.

Just like thank you for forgiving me. Thank you Lord God for your faithfulness.

Thank you for your plan. Forgive us for messing it up, take us from here to where we need to be since it's never too late to start doing what's right in the name of the Lord our God, our maker Jesus everybody's in joint is when Chuck Swindoll describes what he calls the symphony of survival in marriage Tuesday on insight for living in the preceding message getting back on target was copyrighted in 2004 and 2006, and the sound recording was copyrighted in 2006 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. all rights are reserved worldwide. Duplication of copyrighted material for commercial use is strictly prohibited