Mother-in-law, Addiction, Abuse, Caregiving, and Fuel Efficiency

Bureau's burger many years ago when my wife Grace became double if you two.

She sold the importance of quality prosthetics to solve importance of the support team with people that could help her regain her life after losing both legs. She had this vision of creating an organization that would help others do the very same thing while pointing them to Christ and for more than 17 years we been doing just that we purchase supplies. We send equipment and we train recent teams over to West Africa.

We could working with the country of Ghana. Several clinics over there now and each week more people walk because of Gracie's vision 2011.

We watched a new program outreach to family caregivers. Drawing on my mail 36+ years as Gracie's caregiver through a medical nightmare. I offer insights have learned all of it the hard way to fellow caregivers to help them stay strong and healthy while taking care of someone is not you want to be part of this go out to steady without.com/giving steady without.com/giving. Help us do more steady without reaching the wounded and those careful steady without.com/giving. We hope you're here on American family radio dispute arose, but it is as a family.

Hopefully caregiver.com. If you want more information you want to let us know what's on your heart. Hopefully caregiver.calm I have a long time friend and because mentor Isaac was a mentor for his benefit because he doesn't want to take the blame, but he has been instrumental in helping me with radio and bar broadcast to get podcasting for a very long time. He is known throughout the fruited plains as the Christian cargo. These Robbie DeBoer and he is from North Carolina, Winston-Salem, North Carolina, and so Robbie, I am glad to have you here. I waited for your private laded is that the right word you will use weight that you waited you held your breath hoping you would make no Robbie Robbie's been just super encouraging to me, and he brings this every Robbie how you been in radio about 20 or so why bring a wealth of experience and you before we get into all that the car stuff that you do because you have a lengthy history of being able to speak to car issues and from a biblical perspective. Please don't tell the joke about.

They were all in one accord Robbie out is that I vow a man your caregiver to and you have asked. I got got off whole group of states in good New York victim for comfort, I don't ever let love and flat were grateful to a preemptive 40 year caregiver and you didn't. You been in this world now for some time and it's been illuminating for you hasn't actually like my father cared for him last year and 1/2 of life and the barn. Many hard lessons right there and then for the last three years with my mother-in-law where really more the burden that one is on my wife and while at as a matter fact sheet in front of your lips is your podcast every night. She often remind what a gift you will see very few people ever know. I appreciate that. Glad that were able to to be a source of encouragement to her because it is a hard thing as you are watching your wife struggle, caring for her mother, what, where does it take you what, what have you learned about a Christian marriage and the husband's loving their wives and in all these things as you watch this unfold. I found really strange, but it's actually true that due to the very complex relationship my wife or mother other was very different. Most for life and continues to be on even in the latter part of her life. She was an alcoholic and all sorts of truck coming out other things that were challenging and so my wife being a caregiver from her mother actually product. I think closer than we ever have been from the standpoint and I hate leaving you with but we can't have a common enemy about adversary adversary.

As you know, I don't mean that they are mean I love my mother-in-law and I help her way, but because my my wife only has me. You know, to the extent that come to all the things that she said to her you say all the stuff that happened in all that and maybe the word habit. Better, but I think you know what I am. We get been drawn together and we face this phone that we realize that you know that her behavior that we have a struggle with that she and agar plate list of the adversary for years and years and years and so she she easily followed that although I believe that that that she is now a believer.

She made a confession. A couple you know 10 years ago and we feel I should make a progress but at the heart grow and that I will tell you that it is really about my wife not believe government really, and we were close before, but we really talked me a lot and I thought there are a lot of that weird I can know because I've had a lot of substantive called into this program and struggled with alcoholic family members who are now in need of full-time care in the wounds that were created by addiction and all those behaviors that flow from it are not easily healed and some never get healed this side of heaven. And it's it's a real thing and and their family members who are struggling with abusive parents that there now have the care for and yet there unresolved issues and so they and the end that I know plenty of them that are being cursed at and yelled at in the braided.

While there caring for the and it's a very hard thing to do.

Believe me and my household, it is almost unbelievable that she took Tammy every day, but maybe not as I've had a chance to think about it. We have a common enemy and Satan, who have her mother's attention. A great deal of time. That's probably a better way to put because I mean that is amenable to this morning my wife would tell me, in our other it is called in the room telegraphs she needs to be ashamed of herself, and shame on you.

And shame on you for all the things that she really was responsible for the challenge that I feel like man. I'm so glad I can be there for my wife really difficult how you help list all that officer because I know she walks out of that room, sometimes with her shoulders sagging. How do you value help with that offer. She knows she can become tell and I think a coming defendant to have somebody to vent and no value if they have been having to learn I can't fix with not want to fix it. I want to go and Aaron fell on mother-in-law's for 2000 that actually that exasperated with the trace makes it worse and so you know what III just have to listen and love on her and tell her honey. You know better than that outfit she did know what she's talking about and don't take that. Don't take that shame and and pray a lot a lot that's exactly what you do is you you you you release them from that because the disease is has its own voice in this dysfunction and it will do horrific things and I had a guy calling one, member and he was struggling with how do I honor my father like Scripture tells me to, and yet he's so abusive with because of his alcoholism and everything else I said well Scripture says to honor your mother and father doesn't see the honor alcoholism or Alzheimer's or any other cognitively impairing disease that creates its own dysfunction. You're not there to placate all the things that come out of someone's mouth under the influence of addiction or a cognitively impairing disease and so your wife is white is right to come back to you let it tell you, and then the two of you pray through it and recognize that all of that is symptomatic of this great dysfunction of sin that has gripped this entire world and creation since the fall and so I think that is extraordinaire.

You guys have pulled together with this and applaud you for doing the challenge. Like the flashlight like and all you know Tammy had left her upstairs. She is on oxygen and should come downstairs without her oxygen. She has a likable cherub writer down the stairs and she's sitting there with the power cord or ocular one-handed are following personal didn't even know who I was. She was like Tammy and I said no I'm not Tammy I'm Robbie I need help I need help with. I can't breathe electrical worker oxygen that I don't know you know so if it fits in times like that. She's extremely vulnerable and definitely need air Marco though. Glad I would limit the helper and that kind of thing and and so it did it did it an honor to some extent, be there for somebody like that and then at other times it's very difficult and on time and you great conversation with Bob Morgan couple weeks ago to talk about caring for his wife and he said something and have repeated for several shows them because it was such a profound moment, took care of his wife for 25 years through medicine.

He said you grieve incrementally every day and there's loss every day. Incremental loss every day leading up to where you know this is going, and it's a hard thing is a hard thing in my hope and prayer for not only Tammy but myself and all of us as caregivers and you is that when we do stand at a cemetery and hopefully were the one standing not because we don't want to bring will be with the Lord that we just want to love want to have to live without us being there, the moon, we stand at that grave that we do so without Cliff's fist at our loved one ourselves and others. Doctors God we that we can live peacefully with these very very difficult circumstances but we cannot do it. Apart from Christ.

I am convinced of that. After 36 years.

I cannot do it, and Ito if other people want to try different paths. I can't stop them from that I can just tell you from my own experience that is that peace of God that surpasses all understanding the guards our hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

And right now you and your wife's hearts and minds need to be guarded. No think anything about it fascinating that David said modern 19th Psalm it out seven times, but they operate right you judgment by quiet but the idea is all the things that are happening that are literally judgment are God the way of perfecting us to struggle like it's trying hard but clearly this is part of what he had family IN order to get where you have an backdating time and light rail and time is driving us to live in a world beyond ourselves and how we know we got high on indeed Robbie Gilboy is the Christian car, got some cartoons here after the break dispute arose where this is caregiver as caregivers we have so many things that hit us all the time and we can't always nail these things down by ourselves. Who helps you what does that look like a Peter Rosenberg and I wanted to you about a program Abbott a part of. Now for almost 10 years. That's legal shield less than $30 a month.

I have access to a full law firm they can handle all kinds of things. If I get a contract put in front of me if I got of dispute was something doesn't matter, I've got a full law firm that can help me navigate through all the sticky wickets that we as caregivers have to deal with power of attorney medical power of attorney will every bit of it as a caregiver. We need someone who advocates for us and that's why I use legal shield to go to caregiver legal.com look of the left inside versus legal shield to selected turns purple this pick a plan to give you some options if you don't need to do those though selected, check out and be protected. Starting today that caregiver legal.com John and Mrs. Peter Rosenberg. This is the program you as a family care. Caregivers like Medicare. What is healthiness look like. It looks like being in a better path financially, emotionally and spiritually, professionally relationship wise. All of these things because if we go down in any of these areas what's gonna happen to our love.

It's not enough to just have a good diet and be healthy physically. We need to be healthy physically, but what is that mean in this. Those things would get into this program and then one of the things I want to address is being healthy automotive fleet and that's why I have Robbie deal more on the line with me here. He is the Christian car gas and you know Robin I want to jump right into this and appreciate all the stuff you talked about the last block about your journey is a caregiver that the challenges is on you and your wife. I want to pivot just a little bit to the reality that we have very high gas prices we have very high inflation cost her everything. What are some ways that you know you are the Christian car guide you have this massive following of people who talk all things automotive. What are some things that people are doing that they should not be doing that is potentially wasting a good bit of gas which is money, that's not gas it's money and how can we help bring that in a little bit so I have not talked to Michael quite like it a lot deeper learned about Project Avenue that is something that knowing all be talked about what we did. Not be doing and and since we do work quite a bit with caregivers on the Jesus Way, Vermont that are rational will help out single mom family so a lot of those widows and other people are caregivers and and so the number one tip that I actually have paid staff is currently and ask God is this a trip. I even really need to take what it be possible that some other service in my calendar. You know like we have all sorts of county health that will actually people that need doctors appointments and that kind of stuck or absolute pre-and so one of the great out there that that a lot of people don't realize significant manager of his services like an article called wife Betty out here you know an acronym for the county that there in Jackson County and and they will not take your loved one for the doctors appointment you can go with them in the mechanical strength of the graph. They'll write about. I am submitting some of those out here in Montana though, where I live now, we don't have a lot of the service we don't have a Huber we have Goober and his dog sleds are involved and covered wagons.

It's so it's a little bit different way to rule area where I live but II have for me with those things.

Becky's we have a lot of those with my folks that are still living in South Carolina and some of those things as well. What are some of the things I can do to your company. We can do to our cars so well. The number two on my list of great faith – if you simply give yourself more margin leave sooner get up earlier because if you if you drive when there's less traffic there's not as much stop and go and you say cardiac cath so a lot of people give themselves no margin that makes him in a hurry. And that hurry make burned after the horrible thing to be shocked at how much you can say I just leave them sooner.

The next thing you can do and for most people they got way too much stuff in their car that would you believe that that the manufacturers will span hundreds of thousand dollars thousands of dollars to reduce a pound or two. The whole reason we have miniature spirits instead of full-size bears and their lighter weight and they realize that when you're carrying around extra weight to think of your on a bicycle and you put extra 30 pounds on our charter to help while at the whole idea behind your cars when you're carrying around all that water in the back or a bunch of books or whatever it is you got get rid of that stuff out of your car is literally costing you time to grant you never even thought about. So there's one big deal. And then of course there's always nowadays with all the key. Spirits and that even in Montana.

Five happen that are years you know when you're in town, you know, if you keep your windows down.

Believe it or not it. It's more efficient at over 50. It's not thrifty. In other words your windows down if you got over 50,000 hour actually costing you aerodynamic live so I can stay in town keep them down over 50.

It's not thrifty that you did you come up with that all by yourself. Idea can you tell, yes, I actually can tell it thing that a lot of people special event going on vacation right now.

All my gosh realize how much those roof rack finger carriers or bike racks all thing rule in the aerodynamics of the car and over 50 miles an hour only 80% of the horsepower is being used to move air and so anything you can do to make your car more slip through the air can really help you on the highway and so you know if you can possibly make that trip without the roof rack board with it. You some money there you go there's into just a curiosity because I buy my cyanosis in the data. I never used to refer to not just take the whole rack off the set affected the thinkers. It got across members. Most most roof racks you can take them across members often. You should if you got them because again there there just questionnaire that does need to be pushed, you know, so we let you guess is okay we go by that. That's actually currency this morning. List look for ways to save it. You know out here.

We live in a place with speed limits little bit higher robbing. What does the speed limit do mean what what when you're speeding that you go over certain amount your burning lots more fuel.

Is that correct yeah that's why they think they limit to fire back in the day so yeah it speeding. At one point in time I I used to do the calculation. It caused billions of dollars across the country and uses so much fuel. It's unbelievable because you know essentially that extra 5 miles an hour that you're going over the statement of whatever it is costing you unilaterally like two or 3 miles per gallon and when you figure that into keynote two or three weeks. You can see it a lot of money. They dollars a gallon, or whatever you without their what about trucks with letting the tailgate down talk about that now. That's a great example of a thing most people don't understand about the aerodynamics of automobile is that there is there's two places where you saved the gas money but one is where they originally impact the air. In other words, how quickly they did to airflow as one goes over the top.

The karma one goes underneath the car and so as quickly as they can separate those to airflow better than aerodynamic car is but then where the to airflow come back together further behind my car better fuel economy is and that was why that you know you remember what they had worked on the card that they talked about the duck tail. It was beautiful the way the wind would come together after the car, so when you take the tailgate down in the truck you're standing that airflow right back together with the airflow under the car which actually creates a vacuum: the truck back and so by leaving the tailgate out and practice leaders a lot of boilers on the back and tailgate these days. The MS in an effort to get that that airflow to be a scar behind the car possible when those two extremes come back first notice that when you see the big tractor-trailers hauling the long dollars and they had those panels that they would extend out behind the truck can't afford the kind of a cone behind the truck.

I don't talk about exactly batted that I talk about air pressure in your tires yeah you know actually I would find the maximum bit like my wife's car back from air pressure 36 pounds in weight 136 down if I did want to try to experiment go out there on your bicycle. It lower the air pressure on your bicycle.

Go try to petal verse fill the tires all the way. There's no comparison to how much gas you lose when you run low. I tire pressure alone. People that are no trying to get the ultimate mileage are obviously given Veronica maximum tire pressure but don't take that to call to get the terribly danger over inflate your tires on all sorts of levels on them and wanders when you do it you standard can find a friend that was killed by overflight attire.

You don't want to do that. Just beyond the tire were to explode but then also if you have a blowout of the highway but dialed me if it rated and is) slam the door told will show you what the maximum tire pressure is for your car and I would definitely run the maximum with these are good tips here in Raleigh it's always a pleasure to have you here and thank you for all that you've done to help my program and the podcast broadcast everything that I've done over the years and I am very grateful people would find out more about you what's the best way to do that Christian car guy.com my website and you know there have thought about all all about me about my different register of knowledge benefit Christian car guy.com Christian car guy.com it's Robbie deal more in Robbie you are it's national treasure Robbie deal more national treasure Robbie deal more in the Christian car guy. If you have any questions about your vehicle if you're transporting a love one, if you having a wheelchair mounted on the back, or any type of adaptive devices for disabilities and so forth. Please reach out to Robbie East again.

He knows all these things and he will be glad to talk with you about it. Maybe talk with you better on this program because if you're dealing with a bunch of people are to hope for the caregiver.com go to the Christian car guy.com Christian car guy.com for more Robbie. Robbie thanks as always for being a part of the program. This theater was moving. This is hope the caregiver hope for the caregiver.com will see next the views and opinions expressed in this broadcast do not necessarily reflect those of the American family Association or American family radio