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Mercy for an Overwhelmed Caregiver

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger
The Cross Radio
June 10, 2022 7:44 am

Mercy for an Overwhelmed Caregiver

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger

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June 10, 2022 7:44 am

In Uvalde, the shooter’s grandmother faced the rage of a troubled grandson and, according to multiple reports, a daughter with a history of drug use. At least one incident required law enforcement to the home of the shooter’s mother – and neighbors and relatives knew of the turbulent relationship between son and mother. Mental issues and drug abuse create a toxic brew of chronic impairments that will not resolve independently. Those challenges hopelessly outmatch even the best of grandmothers.

In the case of Nicolas Cruz, who killed students at Stoneman Douglas High School in 2018, law enforcement made 39 visits to the gunman’s home – most of the calls seemingly from his mother. A few months following his mother’s death, Nicolas Cruz massacred 17 people.

Sometimes, a family caregiver is the last line of defense between a killer and society.

A caller to my show for family caregivers discussed her mother’s increasing dementia. As the story unfolded, she related how her drug-addicted brother habitually stole from her mother and acted abusively towards her. The caller then shared that her brother, although a felon, kept a firearm under his bed and that she regularly feared for her safety. Asking why she didn’t call the police about her dangerous brother, she finally broke down and sobbed on the air. Through tears, she shared that her brother threatened that if she called the police, he would expose moral issues she had before becoming a Christian. 

 

Her embarrassment and shame compromised her safety from an armed and unstable brother. Gently explaining to her the nature of Christ, who forgives, redeems, and never blackmails, I encouraged her to protect herself and her mother by calling the authorities – that day. 

A year later, she phoned the program and sounded like a different person. After calling the police, her brother was arrested and entered a treatment plan. With exuberance in her voice, she shared that she and her brother have started the path of reconciliation. While her story took a better turn, many caregivers living close to an armed and disturbed individual suffer tragic outcomes – like what happened in Uvalde.

Despite the best political minds and arguments, the human heart remains outside the jurisdiction of any legislation. The Ten Commandments contain no ambiguity and came directly from God, yet politicians today think their laws will triumph where God’s did not. 

Read the entire Article at Foxnews.com 

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This is this is the program – till all time favorite songs to heal the brokenhearted, we have another stark reminder of how broken this world's about what happened in Texas and I wanted to talk a little bit about this. In this context I have some of my editors of the right for Anna national level that told me that they may want me to write on this when the time is right. Sometimes you have to just let it all, sit for a while.

I figured I could have this conversation with you all here on this program is you understated. I am of the mindset that whatever you see behavior like with this young man showed Texas summer calling it mental illness; to evil. Some are calling both whatever when you have somebody who is broken that completely that this is what they choose to do.

There's always a caregiver around somewhere who is ill prepared overwhelmed and under equipped to deal with such a person.

The story still unfolding, but you have a mother who is there some level of drug history and I don't know whether she's an active user or not, but she doesn't seem to be very present in his life. You have a father that nobody is mentioned you have grandparents particular one grandmother who this young man shot and it appears that the grandmother was the closest in proximity to this extremely troubled young man and then he shot cops been called out to the house. People were familiar with this young man in the drama that was going on with this house.

I go back to the shooting down it Parkland Nicholas Cruz and reports were that the cops were called out to the house 39 times my first question was with at all happen, who called the cops. Overwhelmingly, it was this young man's adopted mother who was in over her head again ill prepared over whelmed and underequipped to deal with somebody who had the level of dysfunction and brokenness that this young man hit as soon as she died, he shot at the school and you can pretty much trace this with every one of these horrific scenes is there's always one person, a caregiver that is in proximity to this young individual who does this in their there just in over their heads, and nobody knows what to say. Nobody seems to say anything to the caregiver about what does health look like that it's okay to call the police and insist on certain things.

Safety is the number one thing, and for whatever reason, a lot of people won't do it. Maybe it's embarrassment, shame maybe they're afraid to make the call because of the repercussions. Regardless of which the authorities must be engaged and must be informed there. There's no other way around us. This type of destructive behavior does not resolve itself on its own is not to get better without serious intervention and that intervention contact. The point of contact for that intervention is often a family caregiver actually it's almost always family caregiver and if this individual is not stopped.

If there's not an intersection between boundaries in this individual they will continue on as we so Texas as we seen in other places. I let other people deal with the gun issue because that's not my issue here other than when you have somebody who is examining aberrant behavior out of control any type of mental illness.

It would seem appropriate to make some phone calls. At that point and ensure that they cannot be a danger to themselves or to others the same thing goes from getting behind the wheel of a car while intoxicated which we just solved the husband of the speaker. The house represented the United States do a lot of conversations that need to be had about people who are doing things that put others at risk right now just want to focus on this individual. This grandmother that I have maintained for a long time that one of the greatest assets to reaching these individuals with a clear message of what health looks like this from clergy and that they can ask these families that they see are dysfunctional. If there's if there's one parent missing at another one is on drugs. That alone should be a red flag that the children are at risk, and so we can make a call. We can have a conversation with whoever is left there and ask some pointed questions, are you safe do you feel safe.

Do you see things that trouble you.

Can we have a conversation with the professional. All of these things are legitimate questions that engages individual, not for them to be defensive and it helps them actually helps disarm them so that they're not defensive that they know that somebody cares but we have to ask you to get outside of her comfort zone a little bit we have to ask people if we see something that is going on. We don't have to become this tattletale society. I think this is where Christians can lead the pack, we become in ministering society we become in people that they care about one another. Bear one another's burdens. Sometimes it starts with just a conversation you feel safe, UK. Are you concerned would would be okay if we had a conversation with the professional and see if we can't talk about this. This is the hindsight kind of thing. This is a teachable moment where we as a people can change up the way we engage the way we respond. I know that everybody was to get on the political bandwagon. The gun wagon bandwagon.

All I can stuff I'm not on any of the six among the caregiver path that I understand the heartache involved for so many out there. I see it. I talked with one of the reasons I asked callers to this program. Are you feeling start a conversation.

Let them know that it's it's okay to not be okay. You know it it it it really is. And this grandmother there's no way you could tell me that she has been living in fear and being troubled for some time with a young man like this in her house, but unless we penetrate into this broken dysfunctional lost troubled environment with the clarity and the message of the gospel. They they don't have a fighting chance that they may not respond well. It may not go well. But that's not the son a reason to not do it that that that alone is a double negative.

That's that does not relieve us of the responsibility of saying it, and results are in God's department, but if we don't say anything. If we don't reach out to people that we know are hurting and scared and overwhelmed with a clear understanding of of God in his mercy and his lovingkindness than what we all about Micah 718, who is a God like you who pardon sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance. You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy.

Our God shows us mercy in our brokenness. Who are we to withhold this and reaching out to other people. Nehemiah 90 3931 but in your great mercy. You did not put into them or abandon them for you are gracious and merciful God. Psalm 130 out of the depths I cry to you, Lord, Lord, hear my voice.

Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.

We can cry for mercy because of the redemptive work of Christ that allow us to go to God and ask for mercy. My question is are we willing to extend do we see what's going on around us. We like talk about God's mercy for us. But do we show mercy to others and part of showing mercy to others is reaching into their heartache in being with them engaging with the row said that we all live lives of quiet desperation. You don't have to go looking forward to just have to be willing to see it.

It's everywhere.

And if we think that somehow were insulated from this wrong. It's everywhere because it is the human condition and showing mercy is a reflection of the character of God in mercy does not mean that you're letting somebody get away with doing something bad or aberrant. It means that you're willing to go and recognize their brokenness and be with them comfort them, strengthen them, they are in distress, and who's going to speak to that distress and all the others that you see on cable news anything else they all want to get up there and argue about the politics and the policies of this Christians we know better politics distant redeeming politics can't the life-changing message of the gospel is what does it in the founding fathers of this country understood this, that the human condition is corrupt.

There is no legislation that can be passed by Congress. No executive order passed by Pres. that's going to transform the human heart, but the mercy of God Almighty does can pass and will that is the greatness that we can share with others.

This is Peter Rosenberger. This is hope for the caregiver will be right back