Divine Guidelines for Marriage B

Don't divorce your parties, it will why would you Christians one divorce, one corn you see they were saying well.

Celibacy is the only way to go. Once you become a Christian, you gotta drop all the physical part and you've gotta devote yourself to Christ.

We will not divorce and separated.

There is no divorce tolerated what Scripture says about relationship the institution of marriage is under an ever increasing attack from those who want to change its definition. How should you respond to those attacks and how can you have a marriage that will not only flourish but also serve as a testimony of God's grace. John MacArthur is helping answer those questions in his series titled restoring marriage today. He focuses on the divine guidelines for marriage to lesson it spells out how your marriage even if you're married to an unbeliever can honor God and help lead others to salvation. Now here's John MacArthur with today's lesson. Divine guidelines for marriage divine guidelines for marriage. First Corinthians 7, 8 to 16 and you know it's difficult in our world. I think to maintain a marriage to maintain any kind of a lasting relationship and unfortunately what we experience is not a historical phenomenon that is new. It's something that is always been around, and if you go to first Corinthians chapter 7 you'll find that there was a terrible problem existing in Corinth and it dealt with the whole area of marriage and that is the problem to which Paul speaks in the seventh chapter, the Corinthians, didn't really know what they should do in terms of marriage, or at least they weren't willing to admit what they should do and pose some questions to Paul about it last time we look at verses 1 to 7 and we saw in verses 1 to 7 general principle regarding marriage and what Paul said by way of a brief summary as this marriage is normal. Marriage is for the majority, so there is the general principle. Marriage is normal.

Singleness is the exception.

It's a gift of God. If you have it and it's something you want to hold you and cherish as a special gift from God now takes that principle in verses 8 to 16, and applies it to four groups four groups first group is the single people second group is the people who are married and both are Christian third group those married to an unbeliever who wants to stay forth group those married to an unbeliever wants out, I say, then to the unmarried and especially to widows is good for them if they abide even as I it's good to be single if you're a bachelor that's good if you're a maid has never been married. That's good. If you're a widow or widower. That's good. There is nothing wrong with that and good means beneficial excellent and just good second group and here comes practical advice to those who are married to Christian. This includes most of us. We have Christian husbands Christian wives that was he say to us. Verse 10 and 11 under the married I command, yet it is nigh.

But the Lord, let not the wife depart from her husband and here he simply say Jesus already had some essay about Matthew 532 Matthew 19 nine and Mark, 10, 11 and 12 all three of those passages, our Lord Jesus Christ says stay married. Do not divorce. Notice it says at the end of verse 10. Let not the wife depart the word depart is a technical term for divorce don't divorce your parties, it will why would you Christians one divorce, one corn you see they were saying well. Celibacy is the only way to go.

Once you become a Christian, you gotta drop all the physical part, you've gotta devote yourself to Christ.

We will not divorce and separated and give ourselves a guy just forget it. Don't divorce. There is no divorce tolerated among Christian County had a footnote very important call. Here is not dealing with a case of adultery that is foreign to his discussion in cases of adultery listen to me divorce was allowed among Christian so it seemed a single people and those major Christian group 3. Those married to an unbeliever who wants to stay.

Verses 12 to 14 know what happens in this situation is.

Let's say you got a late, she says, you know, I become a Christian. My husband is out now take why do can I divorce him and very nice Christian man was a fair question, and then further look at this look back in chapter 6, verse 15 this is what Paul had been teaching was don't you know that your bodies are the members of what Christ shall I then take the members of Christ and make them the members of the heart, God forbid, what know you not that he was joined to a harlot is what one body for to set the shall be one flesh, but it is joy to the Lord is one spirit never really said about that the Christian is one with Christ right. The Christian is a member of the body of Christ. The Christian joins himself to a harlot. He defiles Christ right you see how the Corinthians would say well look, if I'm a member of Christ if I'm one with the Lord and I joined myself to my pagan husband and my defiling Christ. You see that reasoning is possible.

Wouldn't this be a defiling thing if I would continue in this marriage. Here my a member of Christ joining myself to a member of Satan am I not being defiled. Then I got a get out of this thing and maybe some very conscientious people really felt that it really did what about a mixed marriage.

What about wellness there are several things to think about in a mixed marriage number one mixed marriages are forbidden when they when they can be prevented right.

Verse 39 at the end says if you going to marry Mary only in the Lord. So the idea of a Christian marrying a non-Christian is totally in disobedience to Scripture. But what happens if you're already married and one get saved.

Was he say like to throw them out.

What about will look at verse 12 to the rest. That is, to those who are in mixed marriages speak I not the Lord. In other words, are not quoting Christ anymore. There is no previous instruction in the Gospels, not that it is revelation.

It is the rest speak I not quoting the Lord. If any brother has a wife that believes not a Christian but she is pleased to dwell with him, let him not divorce her. If you have an unsaved wife and she wants to stay let her stay. Let her stay and the woman, verse 13, you has a husband that believes not if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave Gladys want everybody getting same, say, well, goodbye Charlie, that's it for us. Got farmer self nice Christian fella you know is bad bad thing. In the early years of Christianity that the Christians were accused of destroying family relationships a lot of pagan husband really uptight about their wives getting say you know for a woman to change religion without her husband was unthinkable but was happening in one of the things I was reading one of the ancient historians, Tertullian was commenting on one of the things that the pagan husband made a big issue out of was that was a holy kiss and maybe the early church a little carried away with only kissing one husband said I don't want my wife going out spending all night at nocturnal convocations and Paschal salinities creeping into prisons to kiss martyrs. Also, there were some things are upsetting. I'm sure some Christians who didn't behave wisely had some problems in their mixed marriages. It would be difficult not to sympathize with some pagan husbands and pagan wives whose partners were not behaving as they should. But he says luck if you have a partner who doesn't believe but wants to stay don't divorce him stay with him stay say, but we won't get defiled. Won't this union defiled me well let's find out in verse 14.

Very interesting for the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband now wait a minute here. You know some quote.

Not only is the believer not contaminated, but what happened the very opposite you say will I be defiled by the unbeliever know he'll be sanctified by you and tested instead of the Christian being defiled or made unholy. The unbeliever is actually made holy. Sometimes I ask a person should you come from a Christian home, no on the only Christian there. You know how many Christians it takes to make a Christian home.

One Christian so we everybody else in the house is sanctified by your present if you don't see John remember sanctified. That's a very strong word. I know it's a strong work sanctified means set apart holy ship. What's it saying here.

Well, it isn't saying that the guys automatically converted is not saying if a husband doesn't believe he saved anyway just because he's married to a Christian. No, what is he saying that it is a saying unbelieving wife is saved automatically just because you murder question is what is work sanctified me was that we call matrimonial sanctification and what you mean by that watches the term to distinguish it from spiritual and personal sanctification you become set apart to God holy when you believe in Christ but just having been in the home or living in a home or somebody is a Christian has a sanctifying influence while doesn't mean that the unbelievers automatically made a Christian by marriage what he does mean is that the marriage is benefited and that everybody in the house reaps the benefit. For example to people when they get married become what one if God blesses one of those who one of that one than the other one is going to get some of the spillover right that's all you say hey if you're a non-Christian and you got a Christian mate you want to thank God because your home is the recipient of the blessings of God. God pours out grace and mercy on that alone.

And just because you happen to be connected to that partner.

You are the recipient of those things short of salvation but nevertheless far superior to living in a totally pagan home marriage to a Christian creates a relationship to God for the non-Christian.

The wild is short of salvation. It is far superior to pagan life was the one Christian in a home makes a Christian home and graces that entire home again talking to me.

She said you know that message was just what I needed to hear. She said I never understood you know she said we had in our entire home on that all the kids just one Christian grandma used to talk about Christ River that grandma Kulik, you know, nobody wanted to listen. You know what happened in the years of the past. Three out of the four children of come to Jesus Christ and all of them.

She said go back to the influence of ground you see that kind of grace extended to the loan through that one individual blast of God will radiate to those who touch that light member conversation Abraham had with God. Just 18 MM said God if I could find 50 righteous people in Sodom would you spare the whole city that yeah event came back and said as I can find 45. Would you spare the city at 20 got if I could find 10 would you spare the city confronted but you know something 10 righteous people could've been the mean of the blessing of a whole city what because just being around God's people means you are the recipient of some of his sanctifying bus, you know, you may be in a home is only one Christian and you know something you are the beneficiary of the blessing of God upon that one person's life because you see, God sees mom and dad is one and God sees mom and dad and kids is one and he cannot pour blessing.

On one independent of the rest, because in his eyes.

They are inextricably linked together. You know, if you're not a Christian but your partner is you are really thank God that you live in a home where God is at work. As you are the beneficiary you know it's like when your wife gets a huge inheritance and you have nothing to do with you are even related to the people but Mandy you cash the same thing you not even related to God when you're cashing in on the benefits that he's pouring out on her. It's a blessed thing for unbeliever demerger Christian let it stay that way. Christian if that's your your partner wants to stay, let him stay in since the blessing of God, who knows what that sanctifying matrimonial grace might lead to saving grace right now. Paul was a step further, supporting his point gives a little argument in reverse raises else were your children unclean, but now are they holy. He saying if you were defiled by an unbeliever, then your children would be products who were defiled right and apparently that's some of the credit is like you know up. My husband is not say would gotta stop all sex relations. You know, we might have a halfbreed's right half Christian have taken child. See all of you know we have.

My husband is not Christian.

I can subject my children to that pagan influence women will be defiled and he says look here's a simple fact will place down now are your children what: your chill same were to sanctified should be translated the same as the earlier sanctified your children are sanctified by the same grace short of salvation but nevertheless it a kind of gracious life. In the blessing of God is a tenant on and if it's true that your children are sanctified and not unclean than his reason goes backwards.

It's true also that your spouse is also sanctified. Don't worry about being a pagan home from that standpoint. If you're the only Christian there. God says that's a Christian if are the only Christian era got a port's blessing on you. And rather than you being defiled, they will be sanctified both your spouse and your children and pray to God that someday that matrimonial sanctification will lead to gracious and total sanctification when you put your faith in Jesus Christ.

So if you're married to an unbeliever, and they want to stay let him stay. Let him stay because that's to their benefit for an this will because everybody has been covered.

Those married to unbelievers want to go so you have that young unbelieving partner.

He can't stand your Christianity and he wants out. Verse 50.

But if the unbelieving depart fighting noticing all will give them the gospel is what I'm though Sage won't talk to me call up Avenue it's right there. If the unbelieving department let them know. In other words, this is where the unbeliever initiates the divorce let him go.

Don't fight the divorce don't go to court and fight the just political lead. If you want to let him go. The word depart refers again to divorce. It is a technical term for divorce the unbeliever divorce the believer and the believer is set told let him go. Don't find it usually don't fight about what happens to me when he's gone I'm stuck for life is know what I can handle know you're not stuck for life. Look at verse 50. If the unbelieving department depart.

A brother or sister is not under what bondage in such cases, you know what you are what three free from what the money, the bondage of what the only bondage that marriage has reference to the bond of marriage your free free.

Let free to remarry. We say you're free to remarry. You are no longer under bondage in the word bondage is the word is used in Romans 721 it talks about marriage being bound by the law to a husband marriage is bondage and Paul's vocabulary here.

You say you are free from that marriage is a yes but my my, you certainly couldn't remarry on to say that when God wants to say you can't remarry. He says it verse 11. If she departs out of the Christian marriage. She must remain what unmarried but here if there unbeliever departs and he gets to divorce her brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases, the marriage is. You see, desertion is like adultery in its affected disrupts the title fight.

Let them go away.

See what goal is God has called us to peace know one of the benefits of being a Christian is to have a peaceful life of peace of God, the gracious life and you know that there's nothing that God needs less then constant fighting tension, frustration and turmoil in all fighting angry quarreling home is not God's objective nor people is marriage primarily a foundation for evangelism. Well I'm going to hang on that guy until he get saved you know you'll just drive him right out wants to go, letting go, let them leave rejecting Christianity not hating you, but there's really one objection, because some conscientious Chris discussing Allison if I do that if I let him go.

I lose the opportunity to doomsday but I'm go who's going to bring the Christ. I lose the opportunity to bring the Christ and salvation. So Paul deals that verse 60. He says this for what do you know a wife. Whether you're going to saving or how do you know man will you save your life.

Don't go on that premise because you don't know that he's not saying here. Keep them so you can save me saying let them go because you have no guarantee you will. In the meantime, you will destroy the peace that God intends to give who saves people and one thing that God is never really needed is quarrelsome, tension filled, angry, hostile homes in which to save people.

He doesn't really need. He can do it without marriage is not primarily an instrument of evangelism the claim to a marriage which the unsaved is determined to end will only lead to terrible tension is God Hussein's Paul answers the question to anyone. If you were fishing that we sing God's given your gift. The single use resort. But if you burn get merit. What if you're married you question what you do, stay married fulfill that marriage to the very limits physically and everyone.

What if you're married to an unbeliever wants to stay. Let them stay in Grace's life and the life of your children with your blessing that comes from.what if he wants to go let him go because God is called you to peace with who who witnessed don't worry about that you have no idea that you're even the instrument God knows and God will do it in his way.

What is the upshot of all this, I can only say it in closing like this whatever God has given you as your marital state accepted as is will and maximize it for his glory. I can only think of one song when I was kind of wrapping my thoughts of you know it was it was this my life is yours.

God is my response. Have Thine Own Way, Lord, have thine own Dr. Potter what I'm mold me and make me after I saw, if you've chosen to make me single that's good.

If you've chosen that I should marry, that's good. If you chose that I should be married to an unbeliever who wants to stay. That's good.

If you've chosen that I should marry and I'm married to an unbeliever who wants to go and he goes that's good because I am free and maybe God has another I don't know what God wants for you, but I know this that is will is purposeful and will be fruitful as we abide we are close in a minute just for but I want to say this, we we assume when we teach the word of God, that the spirit of God, just sort of picks up the words of cherries in your heart and sort of does a planning work. We were out yesterday, digging holes in the ground, sticking plants and and I thought about the Holy Spirit, how he just takes the wording plants and I know that he's done that in your life today and maybe in response to what he's doing. You're feeling some things inside saying you know I I want to say God your will, your will, you need to pray, seek counsel about that. Maybe you just say hey I'm one of those unbeliever Sunnis to get on in. I've sent some of the grace the kind of flows around Christians and I'd like to be a part of whatever the need of your life. If you're willing to say to the Lord you have your way with me whatever you want. We love to help you pray with it's going the right direction. But God have his way in your life, you might bear the fruit that he wants to bear through you is thank you father for his clarity and practical insight instructing us. We do pray that we would be obedient to your will and all creation. Jesus you're listening to Grace to you as John MacArthur, Chancellor of the Masters University in seminary continues his timely look at what Scripture says about marriage and how you can honor Christ in your role as a husband or wife.

The title of the study, restoring marriage so John with the theme of marriage in mind, we received a question on our Q&A line from a man named Phil full disclosure. This is not me, but he raises an important issue and it's one I think many of our listeners may have wondered about.

So let's hear Phil's question. Now the John you respond he'll order your 24.

Talk about a divorce lawyer. Her remarrying falling out of favor with her first husband would not be allowed to take her back electric and my question is, what if the woman left her throat and he did not put her out. He could not report her.

She divorced him to go requirement.

Cannot remarry your former spouse will shoot thinly married again, thank you very much for clarifying. Thank you for the question. So the bottom line is this, that God hates divorce, and if there is a divorce. What the Lord is saying is you can't just go marry somebody else and then decide you want to go back to the first person I think the Lord prescribed that to to prevent people from getting a divorce because they would see how severe the circumstances were. You can't do a trial marriage, you can just say, well try this guy doesn't work I'll try this lady if doesn't work I'll come back to you.

Where there is a divorce without biblical grounds, no matter who who started it. Weather was a husband or the wife, the person who goes to marry someone else.

According to Deuteronomy 24 can't go back to the first husband that's explicitly stated and again that they related question is always this will that's the Old Testament. How do you how do you distinguish between the Old Testament and the New Testament. Maybe that doesn't apply in the new. So here's the way I would say we answer that marriage transcends the Old Testament marriage is a design by God from creation and is reiterated as such in the New Testament that God created the man and woman to come together for life.

So because marriage transcends the Old Testament unique identity of Israel as a nation and it is a design by God for all of human history the Old Testament prescriptions regarding marriage and divorce also apply to the New Testament and subsequent periods of time.

So I think it's a simple it's a simple principle you if you get a divorce without grounds for that divorce. You have sinned, and if you marry someone else.

You can't then all of a sudden decide to go back to the original husband.

Thank you, John, and now friend if you want to ask John a question about the Bible give our Q&A line a call at 661-295-6288. That's the Q&A line number again 661-295-6288 you leave a message with your question and you may hear John answer it on a future broadcast get in touch today that phone number for the Q&A line one more time. 661-295-6288. You'll also find that number@ourwebsitetty.org now turning the corner a bit. If you've ever wondered how this ministry works who the people are that make these broadcasts possible. Obviously John is certainly one person we have staff and volunteers work from our office here in Southern California and I want to introduce you to another person, a crucial part of this ministry.

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