Being There For Your Son (Part 2 of 2)

We started early in the morning we go late at night running about URLs alarm clock.

Well that might be a bit of exaggeration, but I think we all relate to that Steve Fry will explain why quality time with your kids is more important than what ever is causing you to rush out of the house every day. Thanks for joining us today. This is Focus on the Family with Jim Daly I'm John from John.

There's a reason why this ministry is called Focus on the Family and that's because many parents need to be reminded of eternal significance of those relationships at home in our own families, especially those of us with exciting careers that cause us to turn our focus away from our loved ones were halfway through a message from the late Steve for our and he is encouraging men especially fathers to reconsider their priorities last time Steve began looking at Deuteronomy chapter 6, which he calls God's job description for men and the first few points were love God with all your heart.

Love God's word and teach God's word to your sons diligently as you go about your everyday life. And if you missed part one of Steve's presentation yesterday.

Please get in touch with us.

We can send you the entire message on CD audio download. Are you get the app for the smart phone and semi people do listen to us in a digitally and were so grateful for that.

Give us a call if you need more details 800 the letter a in the word family 800-232-6459 or stop by the show notes for all the details Steve for our spent 33 years encouraging men to pursue Biblical manhood and has several books including point man how a man can lead his family. Interestingly, that was just revised prior to his untimely death.

Earlier this year, get your copy from us here at Focus on the Family were the proceeds go right back into ministry here now Steve for our in a message she shared several years ago when his kids were younger on Focus on the Family Jesus was a great disciple Jesus is always with Jesus. Much like they went with him.

He wouldn't tell they went with him. They went with him. You know what else they're always asking stupid questions. That sounds to me like a dad with young kids young guys right.

They just want to be with you.

See, those are when the teachable moments, years and years ago. I bet you this was 15 years ago I was going somewhere. Josh and I we pull the 711.

A couple documents. Well I get like hopes and enters a line is a big line 556 guys in front of what is just going slow and so I look up there it was having all these guys are buying lottery and is taking forever altered. One of those you give me to be one of those.

See, and I'll take one of the this will not you multiply five times I'm watching all these guy is a lottery was that the 85 million. Finally, finally, we get up to the counter is adjusted to that coach legs is lottery is 85 million as it is very difficult. You wanted 5 million. I said no ma'am just just go to be fine.

Thank you guys are stand around or scratching off the lottery thing you know, Josh is with me, as is normal.

Jesus I can't believe you want 85 million and I'm thinking you know let's turn this into a teachable she is to push and make just one.

Leave it alone.

I can't believe I said utilizing is better just to trust the Lord Jesus Christ. Don't you taste it got real quiet at 7-Eleven to see someone had said Jesus Christ and meant to die say Jesus Christ all the time so when you say it and meet they can't handle what happened. The lights went out, the refrigerator stopped running. I'm going to exaggerate. Now you know that I would say that they got real quiet to somebody that said the name of Jesus.

She didn't ask me anymore about lottery tickets. We got a coach we got in the car Josh is about to probably seven. I suggest you see those guys thereby lottery tickets 85 million but you guys think those guys think that a 5 million to be happy to Josh scripture says no good thing does he withhold from those who walk up rightly I say you know what that means. Josh, you know I don't have 85 million as I don't need 85 million if I needed it. I have but I don't need a man follows guys in their ways they might Michael put that money down the toilet. Teachable moment put the car in drive. We took off as life is what you gotta be with.

You gotta be with the enemy wants me with them. You must always be over here we we got different responsibilities. What we can't forget the primary calling of her life in order for you to do that.

Primary calling.

You might have to make some fact sacrifices. In fact, you will have to make some for sacrifices human essence.

At points in your life will have to deny your self in order to be with, so that you can do the job got assaulted by the boy John is to be a firefighter is a great guy is gotta great love for the Lord were were very grateful for all of our kids, but when John was in high school he wasn't doing well that right around 16. I realize one day that I had an issue because I was having a conversation with John and in the conversation.

He said something that was pretty innocuous but it kinda tripped my radar. And by the way, guys, I tell you this was John's permission if he were here he share with you so he signed off on this. I want you to know that. But when I had that conversation I since it was wrong. I didn't know what was wrong, but we always been very close, but I felt like he was hiding some from I do know it was so I began to pray and I begin the fast every Tuesday for John and I asked the Lord that he would show me what was going on in John's life but six. Seven weeks later we had dinner and living room. I throwing a basketball game. Mary had a couple coffee John Watson just normal and all of a sudden give us a breakthrough because John started talking all just just there guy just did it can even tell you how it developed but I realized Whitman my prayers being answered. I get that remote and and John started talking and before long he had big weightlifting kid. It tears coming down his cheeks and any any accident I'm in trouble. I said where you are in trouble. He said I can't tell you I'm too embarrassed and I walked over that ridge here, and I knelt down beside him and I said John Teresa, I want to help you, but I've got a know what's going on so I can help you accident I'm to.

I'm too ashamed to tell you I've blown it. I said limitations blown I've blown it is. If I don't know what's going on on the ones blown up. But here's the issue. John, whatever is walk through it together and he said that I can't tell you Mary Sitton said that, I can't tell you what's going on is the masses some questions this of you drinking he said yeah I see you getting drunk is a smoking marijuana. I said are you doing other drugs and I steeled myself for the worst and he responded and thankfully he had not gone as far down that path. As I thought that was quite a moment. It was a great you know I'm telling you this and you know what John is signed off on because I want you to know that this happens and I want you to know I'm not telling you this to tell you that John got in trouble, but I want you to know is that this happened under my own nose while I was out teaching guys on how to raise their family. This isn't about John, this is about me what I want you to know is that I got diverted. You see, our job description is clear and I'll tell you what it took about four years for that all the process its way out. We learned a lot of lessons as a family, but I'm to take some God his field. What was broken in our home and there's a sweetness and there's a joy and we thank the Lord Jesus Christ for that. Listen if you want to follow Christ. You think you're not going to get attacked you will get attacked in your family. If the enemy can't get you to try and get you through your kids. So then you you you what happens is you make these midcourse corrections you see here is what the Lord saying to us in Deuteronomy 6.

Love God deeply your teacher sons diligently.

In other words, his father's we are Texas guys maybe two things we are to be connected instead of distracted would be connected instead of distracted. I had not meant to get distracted. But it is happened under my nose. Secondly, we are to be intentional instead of passive drumming for Samuel to very quickly invest with me for Samuel to for Samuel till we meet a guy name Eli now were in for Samuel.

So how does Sammy relate to Eli well Eli was a priest Eli was a judge, if you recall, young little Samuel's mother, Hannah wanted to have a child. She couldn't she went up to the temple to pray. Eli thought she was grabs drunk. She told him what she was pray for a long story short, God gives her son. She dedicates them to the Lord and Samuel wound up being raised by Eli in the temple that Eli is described for us and for Samuel to notice what it says about his family for Samuel to verse 12 it says are the sons of Eli were worthless men. They did not know the Lord would send things that they were priest there worthless men.

They did not know the Lord read the next verses you will see that when they were people come and offer me for sacrifice, these sons of Eli would take the best cuts of meat if you like a pastor today letting his boy gopher through the offering plate. Deliver 17.

That's the sons of the young men was very great before the Lord for the men despise the offering of the Lord. Then, if you flip over to verse 22 it says.

Now Eli was very old and he heard all that his sons were doing and all Israel, how they lay with the women who served at the doorway of the tent of meeting Ellie's guy stealing or sleeping with women in verse 27 a man comes to confront Eli and you can read the words in verse 27 and 28 and 29 he says to Eli what you kick at my sacrifice that my offering, which I commanded my dwelling and honor your sons above me by making yourselves that with the choices of every offering of my people Israel.

This will be assigned you, which will come concerning your two sons Hockney and Phineas on the same day. Both of them will die. What a tragic God was going to judge his house because he had not judged his own house near the Scripture says in Proverbs 19 verse 18 is a very practical word to men that says discipline your son while there is hope. Eli didn't do it.

He knew about it. He didn't respond Zada you know that going for Samuel three when the Lord spoke to Samuel member woke him up and he wasn't sure was going on was that all about.

Well the message that God had to Samuel in speaking to Samuel he says in verse 12, and that they all carry out against Eli all that I've spoken concerning his house from beginning in fry have told him that I'm about to judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knew because his sons brought a curse on themselves.

And he did not rebuke. That's how we honored them above the Lord. You see it is that what it Deuteronomy 6 that your to teacher sons to fear the Lord.

How does the son through the Lord did Eli's boys fear the Lord know you know why they didn't fear the Lord because they didn't fear the father because he never rebuke them, I deliver my dad and Steve Khmer, and he began to take his belt off his pants accident.

I'm really sorry to is I know you're sorry, come over here. I'm really sorry Lisa did and he wasn't mad he was angry was a lose number and he did have adult with a metal tip like this was just an old black belt.

He wasn't losing that he wasn't angry was was recall to seek your start to do we not talk about this and did I not say that if you did this that I give you a couple wax yeah yeah so it was very clear and this is embarrassing because I'm 23 years old and I wasn't 22 years old.

But you see, when I was young my dad did that he was an abuser. He didn't hate me. He wasn't beating me. You know my dad was trying to do. My dad was trying to teach me that I couldn't cross authority and get away with my dad rebuke me.

My dad would discipline me because he loved me, I see five guys catches fathers represent God to their little kids. That's amazing your little kids you represent God to them and they need to have a healthy fear not a terror method are to be beaten but in all on a respect that if I cross what he says there may be consequences. Eli never did that and he wasted his life. His family became John came home one day and even with some friends again. His dad was a Jeep without a country little bit quite a ways to school I had gotten a Jeep so he could drive and his brother school was my Jeep as I gave it away. He said you what I said.

I gave it away there so I need a vehicle I give it. He said you gave away my Jeep as it was in your G-tube in my Jeep is on use. He said you you you couldn't assimilate this now know we did. That wasn't the first step.

There were steps in between. But what you see you discipline. According to the transgression, and if there is a refusal learn, you gotta get a little bit more strenuous in your discipline. That's how God is with us. He gotten to a point where the responsibility had to be checked. Discipline your son while there is hope get his attention was a Jeep I gave it away.

What will how my doing at the school was a bus… Well, Rachel had a car when I was when she was my yes she did but you know what Rachel followed this and this and this. Miss Rachel showed responsibility at this point John you're not doing to the principle is this is that you show responsibility and you'll get privileges. But if you don't show responsibility. You lose privileges that how long is it going to be. I said well before I said were talking months. He said months.

I said were talking maybe close to a year.

I want to see you know it didn't happen. We went through process. What I do is all of the skin and incantation while back.

John had a job part-time job yet to be at work at 530 more Noah. He was very morning 530 and he was there every morning on time. 530 for two weeks straight, and what they did to give them a raise because they never had anybody show up at 530 on time. My job is hey here's the thing about boys.

Boys never want to go to bed. Getting about boys. They never want to get out of bed, so somebody's going to have up to step up to the plate and teach those look see you discipline so that you can move them to self discipline that makes sense. That's her job.

Some you guys are sitting here I'm I got close because I'm out of time. I gotta say this work some you guys hear you say Steve, this is breaking my heart because I got a Bouygues 25 is not at home anymore.

I got a Bouygues 35 or 45.

He's away from the Lord. Steve, I'm afraid it's too late can I say this to your boy is still alive it's not too late to say this to your friends get on your face before Almighty God and say Lord Jesus, would you help me to connect it to be different than when he was 15, but would you help me to reconnect or don't let me be passive. Let me take initiative and you know what God wants to answer this prayer you say how you know that Steve because of the last verse of the last book of the Old Testament, Malachi 46 which says and he speaking of John the Baptist. We know that from Luke 117 and he when he comes, will restore the hearts of the fathers to the children and the children to the fathers, lest I come and smite the land with a curse. Your Almighty God just wants to heal your family that would delight him. He's looking for us to respond and be obedient and if necessary deny ourselves. Let's be those men guys, let's be those men you guys with boys at home. You do the job you love them you love your wife to follow Christ with all your heart. You don't screw around with sin you be a man of God in integrity you'll live one way a church in another way at home. They need to see the truth model at home.

If you follow Christ. Eddie's life is going well. He lived in one of the wealthiest theories of all Chicago you live in a gated community.

He had servants he had beautiful gardens. His wife went shopping in a limo's kids when in a chauffeur to school. He was an attorney. His practice, he couldn't believe the money was making. He couldn't believe the quality of his life, but there was just one problem.

Eddie was crooked.

Eddie had one client by the name of Al Capone. It was Eddie's job to keep Al Capone out of jail. He was a brilliant attorney and he did that, but Eddie had a problem he had a problem of violence in the murders he was going too far and he was yelling he had a little boy growing up in his house that he loved dearly and this little boy looked up to him and admired him and respected him.

He knew one day that his son was the lose respect and it was that fact that caused him to make a change in his life and to go to the police and hand them the poems financial records and when he did that Al Capone was finished, but Eddie was finished because weeks later, walking on a street in Chicago. A car went by opened up in a hail of machine gun fire took him down. He lost his life. I fly through here quite a bit. You walk through the terminals. There is a memorial monument to patrol here than in the airport after he was the first naval pilot to get the Congressional medal of honor is the first ace of World War II. He was on a mission in World War II.

He was flying with his squadron. He noticed his gas tank.

It was appearing on E.

It had been topped off the commander instructed him to go back to the fleet as he's going back to the fleet. Often the horizon he sees a Japanese squadron of zeros coming in to attack the fleet. He can't make contact with the fleet so single-handedly. He attacks his squadron.

He takes out plane after plane is ammunitions gone.

He starts ramming planes. He starts get them in their tails. The squadron turns and goes back.

He lands everything was recorded on the gun camera he'd taken out five zeros. A year later he was killed and another dogfight in a hail of machine gun fire just as his father was killed by machine gun fire on the streets of Chicago years before see a lot of people think that Butch O'Hair is a hero because of what he did in the war. Butch O'Hair thought his father was a hero because it is certain point in his life. His father turned from doing what was wrong and stood up and did what was right and denied himself and it cost him his life. That's what it may take for us. But God will bless us if will do it. Let's be those men, to the glory of God in this list now bow before him. Father, we thank you for your good guys raising kids at home don't get distracted if they have been helping make midcourse we make is always through pump is not forget the most important to make the corrections, the guys with particles bring those particles back. We ask in Jesus put people around them. Let them have circumstances that crush them whatever it takes to bring them back and she brought the boy back in a few year the great father. All of us are important. We make mistakes never disappoint teachers how to do our work.

We ask in Jesus name. Wow, what a heartfelt passion here.

There is, we come to the end of a two-part presentation from the late Steve for our on Focus on the Family John, as I said last time I really appreciated Steve because he made me want to be a better parent and in today's presentation. I was so impressed by his reaction to son John's confession abusing alcohol and marijuana in high school. Steve said this happened under my own nose while I was out teaching guys how to raise their family and I can only imagine how embarrassing that would be.

He went on to say what I want you to know is that I got diverted and isn't that refreshingly honest and Steve's point was we need to be intentional with our kids and take the time to instill in them the ability to navigate these temptations. It's easy to focus too much time and effort into our careers, particularly for men and Steve is reminding me of my most important job title and that is bad and I must say he really lived out these principles as we mentioned, Steve died in February from a sudden cardiac event at the age of 72 and at his memorial service. Countless people talked about how we truly walk the walk and they said he was 100% committed to the Lord. He was 100% committed to his wife Mary. He wouldn't even look at another woman. He was very genuine and open with his friends and he made the effort to stay in touch and when he was wrong. Steve was never afraid to apologize even to his kids. Those are quite the comments and what attribute it is and our hearts go out to Mary and the family.

So let me close with this quote from Steve that circulated online soon after he died.

It's so appropriate. He said the greatest thing you can leave behind is a life well lived.

No one knows when the finish line is the very gates of hell cannot make a stumble, unless we choose to remove ourselves from God's protection and power. We finished strong by fixing our eyes on Jesus, and I love that we finish strong by fixing our eyes on Jesus, and let me encourage you, especially the men. If you want to finish strong. I highly recommend you get a copy of Steve first best-selling book called point man how a man can lead his family.

It's a fantastic guidebook get a copy of the newly revised edition from us here at Focus on the Family. And when you do the proceeds go right back into ministry. Join us as a monthly donor with a pledge of any amount and Wilson point man as our way of saying thank you and it can't make a monthly commitment that's okay will send the book for a one time gift of any amount. Either way, we want to put this tool in your hands today. Get your copy of the book point man when you call 800 K and the word family 800-232-6459 or visit the show notes we got all the details right there for you and by the way for you to be in Colorado this summer, stop by Colorado Springs and CS. Focus on the Family has a tremendous welcome Center with the bookstore and an entire adventures in Odyssey wits and play area. It's a terrific place to stop. Next time, Dr. Julie Slattery shares encouragement for healthy sexuality in your marriage.

What I learned in the last 10 years administering time sexual issues that most of us have the wrong picture of blank. I designed sex to be in Wheeling realizing on behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team. Thanks for joining us for this Focus on the Family podcast if you would please take a moment waiting in your podcast And then share this episode with a friend who is a dad and need some encouragement in his role as a father, I'm John Fuller inviting back next time. Once again help you and your family thrive in Christ you ever wonder what it was like to meet face-to-face and miracle teachings, the long-awaited Messiah/novelty Focus on the Family, I have called you by name.

Based on the hit streaming theories immerse yourself in first century Galilee experience the Savior to his followers want to dive deeper into Scripture with everything Stern learn more about the chosen novel focusonthefamily.com last chosen focusonthefamily.com last chosen