Being There For Your Son (Part 1 of 2)

We get diverted from the leadership that God wants us to exercise in the home because we are told and we are put upon the most important work that we do is what we do when we leave the house. That's contrary to what God says in his word. In a world where men tend to be defined by what they do with encouragement for you today to be countercultural really focus on your family. Thanks for joining us today. This is Focus on the Family with Jim Daly and I'm John Fuller. John this message is countercultural, but it's also fun and uplifting and rather moving so let me say right now this is a message. Men need to hear. It's very very important. So for the women who are wishing their husbands could hear this, let me remind you he can contact us for the CD audio download or smart phone app it. We've got a great app and of course we a lot of folks listening on podcast as well. Show notes have all the details are guess the late Steve for our was a prolific author and speaker who specialized in encouraging men to be godly husbands and fathers, and right before his sudden death earlier this year Steve finished revising his bestseller called point man how a man can lead his family and we'd love to get a copy of that into your hands that were to miss him and get your copy of point man newly revised at our website or when you call 800 A, word family here now see for our on today's episode of Focus on the Family stories told Allstate developer will result in the country's property is driving down a two-lane road about 55 miles an hour and out of the left side his peripheral vision he he senses a car going around passing as he looks over at the car realizes not a car is a chicken is a chicken that's running absolutely dead even with going 55 miles an hour. He can't believe this, he looks at another chicken looks back at it. He stepped on the accelerator. He gets up to about 65 or 70 chicken stays right with you is looking at this chicken and it appears to him that this chicken has three legs, but he's not sure because of things moving so fast, fighting the chicken looks at him again and just accelerates and takes off and leaves.

This guy is dust while he sees a chicken go up the hill and then make a left on a dirt road to fall this chicken is going to check this out. He follows his check. He's going down the dirt road. He can see the dust comes over little rise and sees a farm down there, pulls up around the farm.

The farmers on front and closer. Excuse me but did you see a chicken go by these as I got sure that he just went by mentally is is one of my chickens is that when you chickens, he said, is he said it appeared to me that chicken had three legs. That's right, he said I bring three-legged ticket real estate guys is a lot why in the world would you bring three-legged chicken is very simple.

He said after church on Sunday, our family would love to have fried chicken and it's me and my wife and my son and we always have a problem because all three of us look chicken legs so we are always look short so I decided to bring three-legged check rose guys that is unbelievable. It was well yeah I got a bunch of around these is how they takes place.

As you know, I don't really know.

I never able to catch one now. You know, guys. That's what it describes our lives were were running at a very very fast pace.

We start early in the morning we go late at night were running.

What I don't know about you, but our house. We women have an alarm clock anymore. We got started this week about the blocks were running were going to email my fax webpage and were doing all that we live very very rapid lives were going very very fast and as a result, it's easy for us to get off course as men from our most important work we got a bunch of leaders in here this morning were different kinds of leaders. Some of you don't even perceive yourself as leaders but your leader because someone is watching your life you are influencing someone if your husband your leader if your father, your leader, you guys are father see your hands good, you guys are sons okay good. We didn't want to leave anybody out here. We didn't want any hurt feelings. You see your leader. Now you so I'm on the front got you don't have to be up front got to be a leader. Most leaders are not upfront, they just quietly go about the business and the work that God is called them to do. That's how the world functions. That's how the church functions. Your leader your leader because your man your leader because your husband, your father and talk about fathering today because even you single guys one day will probably be a father all these guys who were married. The other hands they used to be single. It's amazing how life changes and how we assume different roles as we go through life.

But what happens is men is that as we get married and we have kids were going through life we got responsibilities. We got mortgages and we got all the stuff we had very very very very busy and we are told that our careers and our work is the most important thing that we do.

First Timothy three says of a man is going to be a leader in the church. He must first prove his leadership in the home. Probably the most violated principal in the Scripture, the man's got money. If a man's got people skills of a man is good in the community. Opening a leadership God says I want him to prove his leadership first at home. Our first work is men are first work is husbands are first work as fathers is at home you recall, in Matthew 16 that Jesus said if anyone wants to come after me, he must deny himself.

We live in a culture that's intoxicated with self wearing to self-fulfillment were into self-realization were into self actualization. We tell people to look deep into themselves to find the answers to life by the way you want to do that because there's not much there, looking deep inside yourself to find answers is like going scuba diving in a septic tank. There's just not much there in your to be sorely disappointed if you're looking for answers in life you don't look again you look up to the one who made you, that's where you look to the one who gave you life and creative life are first work is husbands in our first work as father is at home, but we are so busy and we are pulled so many different directions that we get diverted we get distracted.

Last year I taught a study on the Old Testament kings 43 kings in the Old Testament. Some of the more familiar with Saul and course David and he had a son named Solomon. After that it tends to get a little murky, but there were 43 these guys if you take your Bible and turn to first Samuel eight and then if you'll put your finger there and then go to the end of the Old Testament go to Malachi chapter 4 can't find Malachi go to Matthew just the page over sure what I'm doing here. I've taken that shock of Scripture in between my two fingers from first Samuel to Malachi 4 you see that chunk of Scripture right there.

That chunk of Scripture is called history. Every book that I am holding in those borders from first Samuel to Malachi is about the team's in some way shape or form except for Job and quite frankly Job was a king figure the Scripture either gives us the history of the Kings or use it.

What about the prophets the prophets were speaking to the Kings into the nations which they were rolling.

I said what about salt after songs written by a king. What about song of Solomon, written by King what I'm saying guys is that in some way shape or form. Kings are related to almost 2/3 of your Old Testament so why is it that we don't know much about these got there fairly important. You read a biography every time I read a biography I learned some from somebody's life. There are 43 biographies in here as I study these guys last year and by the way out of the 43 kings biblical scholars only call eight of them good. The rest of them were losers.

The weather rested and wasted their lives and ruin their lives. As I surveyed those 43 kings last year. You know the thing that struck me, quite frankly, these guys all bullet when it came to their primary responsibility other than David was Solomon and only after blowing it with at least three of his boys did David get focused on mentoring.

His son Solomon, but other than David out of those 43 kings limitation a big mistake.

These guys make they built their kingdoms, but they didn't build their son's as a result, when they passed off the scene. Their sons were not equipped to follow them there sons were not equipped to take the spiritual leadership of the family Guy case that you don't think of yourself as way, but in a real Centura King, your wife's a queen, you got a son is a print she got a daughter she's a princess that we don't tend to use those terms. You say I don't have a castle. We got an apartment you got a house in the suburbs where you live, you see that your castle that you will you know I don't rule overlap numb to get a family that you're responsible for. That's his stewardship. It may not be a nation but as a family every family is a small civilization and God has called us to leadership. Can I give you a couple principles guys here's the first one. God is not called women to leave the family. Now there are some wonderful women who are leading families rapture. Your mom was in that position because your father took off. He was irresponsible so we ought women that are doing that we honor them because they're doing the work of two people and we thank God for them, but that is not God's original intention.

We thank God for godly women who work hard but you see, God has called men to lead and their families lovingly before Christ in the church. God is not called women to lead the church God has called men to lead the church is not that women don't have gifts and won't women are important. I married to a gal who is a tremendous leader, a gifted leader but is gifted as Mary is the leadership responsibility for my family is not on the shoulders of my wife is on my shoulders before Almighty God and is on your shoulders.

We get diverted, as men from the leadership that God wants us to exercise in the home because we are told and we are put upon that the most important work that we do is what we do when we leave the house. That's contrary to what God says in his word in Deuteronomy chapter 6 there is a job description given to men like an eternity had her Bible Deuteronomy 6 God gives us to specific things and these things applied to the Kings and these instructions apply to you and these instructions apply to me.

Deuteronomy 6 was written to the men of Israel, may I point out you look at verses one and two Moses says now this is the commandment in the statutes and the judgments which the Lord your God commanded me to teach you so that you might do them in the land which you are going over to possess that catch this so that you and your son and your grandson might fear the Lord.

Interesting concept. He's speaking to the men because he says so that you and your son and your grandson might what might fear the Lord 14 times in the book of Proverbs we see the phrase if your Lord up the fear the Lord. Robert tells us is the beginning of knowledge. The fear the Lord is the beginning of wisdom you concerned about our country what's happening in our country treated but you know what's wrong with our country. Very simply put, our country is lost the fear the Lord and we was the fear Lord we was or was it was wrong.

The universities they was mother universities are universities have lost the fear of the Lord when he was a fear Lord you lose knowledge, Copernicus great astronomer at a friend who was an atheist and they would have lunch and they would dialogue from time to time they would get together and discuss their different viewpoints for about 2 to 3 years. Wernicke's was doing something no one else ever done. He was building in his atrium.

A model of the solar system that you seen those I've seen no one had seen him before them, and he fashion planets and he would hang them from different parts and he had all laid out didn't tell anybody one day when he finished he was dialoguing with his friend.

They were having some coffee and he said this walked on my house one choice something and as he was talking to his atheist friend they're talking about different things. They finally walk in the house, they open the doors of the atrium's atheist friend walks in, looks up and sees.

He immediately realizes this is a model of the solar system. He's just aghast at what he sees.

He is a may.

He is speechless. He just looks, he takes it all in and looks Copernicus and he said who made this Copernicus said no one made it just happened. What a ludicrous things and what a foolish thing to say but the fool has said in his heart there is no God, there is a God you study DNA.

There is a God, there has to be a God. I saw on the news last night. These new three-dimensional for dimensional pictures images of babies in the womb. You can see their face.

This doctor was being interviewed on Fox News and she was being asked about the implications of this and she was trying to be very subtle but she said you can actually see the face all here's twins you can see the twins touching each other and kicking each other. What are the implications of this.

While the implications are that parents are going to have some more information about the nature of the child within them. She's trying. That's a baby it's not a fetus. That's the information and you can't take that baby's life because that is a little baby made in the image of God she would come out and say it was right before arrives. That's a child in their words, the fear the Lord your Lord, you know you have the fear Lord, you can be a real scientist. If you lather the fear Lord, you can't be a good teacher and can I say this if you don't have the fear the Lord, you can't be a good father because in order to do the work of God is called us to do. There must be a fear the Lord, which we then instill in our sons and grandsons you look at verse five. Specifically, there are two things are said to men as her job description and a very simple I'd summarize them this way. Number one is men we are to love God deeply from our gut. Notice what it says in verse five of Deuteronomy 6 he says, and you shall love the Lord your God with 40% of your heart with 30% of your soul. So what is this not even the Hebrew doesn't save you shall love the Lord your God with what all your heart, all your soul all your might get a word study in that word all one morning about three hours going over this original working through different lexicons onto that word all means and original. It means means all means you shall love the Lord your God with all Jimmy's from your gut. Everything within you, loving you following your pursuing is number one in your life and then on that basis we go to the second thing and really when you love the Lord your God you love his word. That's why you go back to verse one these are the commandments, the statutes, the judgments which the Lord your God has commanded me to teach you so when you love God you love his word I word I've had my heart that I may not sin against the open my eyes and I need to hold wonderful things from the law by law. How can a young man keep his way pure someone 19 by keep it. According to thy word say you love God you love is word Jesus said if you are truly disciples of mine, you will abide in my word, and what will the Lord do you say what is the word the word is truth.

If you are truly disciples of mine. He said you will abide my word and you shall know the truth and the crucial will set you free. That's why you love God you love his word and when you love God you have truth and you live in reality that is mentioned in verse six, these words which I command you today shall be in your heart and here's a second responsibility. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down when you rise so where the two job scripted a pretty simple number when you love God deeply with all your heart, you learn from your gut.

Secondly, you teach your sons diligently.

65.

Got daughters great gift from God.

I got a daughter to the two boys starting at about daughters talk about sons this morning that is not me I don't care about my daughter. I love her to death. You love your daughter and God's given you daughters and you know your job is to love them and show them what it means to be a godly man because one day there to look for godly men to come to their life and you show them what that's like. So how I treat my daughter's very passage of Scripture to tell me how to treat my daughter's I think the passages in Scripture that tell you how to treat your wife you apply those passages to your daughter because one day your daughter will be a wife that make sense. You husbands. Likewise, live with your wives and understanding way could we say you husbands. Likewise it with your daughters and understandingly is one day some young men's unit commander life and he's going to want to enter into her life. How was she to know whether or not this guide meets the criteria will shall take the template unconsciously shall take the template of your example and shall look at how you treated her mother, and shall look at how you loved her mother and how you honored her mother and she will take that template as you as a young man comes into your life.

If he meets that criteria of your example. He has a potential passing through and be accepted.

But if he is harsh with her that he is critical of her. He will bounce off of the example of your life would you fold the word got to know what to look for. So daughters are important. We love our daughters were talking about sons here. You guys are raising daughters arrays and the glory of God because those was a reason sons was boys grenades and girls that I think this morning we had to do some arrange marriages right here, don't you get what we got going on in America. We got a lot of deranged marriages going on because were not following the principles of the word of God. He says your love God deeply. Secondly he says you to teach your sons diligently.

Does that mean you get up at 430 every morning and open up the Greek text and teacher sons. The book of Romans that limits idling. That's what it means. We set out the excess was that that how much look okay great I posted teach them how I teach God's very real. He's very practical he's very down to earth. You got a job man you little time to responsibility. You can't run a classroom in your house I'm you got all kinds of stuff going on in your life so that how might a teacher is a Texan. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and show Texas talk of him when you sit in your house as it was in your house you just look like you're good at that. That was in our house no longer. When you want by what you're walking dead all yeah sure you just as life. What he's saying is, is that as you go through life. You teach your kids see that's why it's really important that you be with WI TH you be with your sons were halfway through really encouraging message for husbands and fathers from the late fee for our and you'll hear lots of ways to apply this message. Next time you know John that we have aired several messages from Steve for over the years and what I really appreciated about them was that he always inspired me to do better with my boys.

Trenton Troy as they were growing up, and most importantly, Steve made it sound doable. So often you know as men we get overwhelmed by too many instructions and then we just stop and pull back and don't do it that simple is usually better, at least for me and that's why I love the idea of looking for those opportunities to talk with your kids or grandkids throughout the day for us. The last time was when I was driving the boys to school. That's when we had the most interesting conversations about the Lord and I can remember one time I was on my way to drop Trent off at school and we started talking about Moses and the burning bush and what that would've been like. First of all, we imagine what Moses saw it had to be odd to see a bush that was burning, but it wasn't going up in flames and then a voice comes out of the bush.

You think about that and the conversation begins about rescuing the Israelites from the Pharaoh and I said to Trent.

Imagine what it was like when Moses asked who do I say is sending me the look and said this is what you are to say to the Israelites.

I am has sent me to you.

I said Trent God was telling Moses that he had no beginning and no end before anything we see in this universe, the earth, the stars anything. He was here before it all, he is I am and I just looked at Trent's face and he went out that's amazing and that's the lightbulb moment that makes it all worthwhile is not Hartford, as to do this kind of teaching you just need to take advantage of the opportunities that come along.

There's no need to overcomplicate it be natural about it.

That was Steve's great point. I think that's one of the things that we loved about camping here in the outdoors when her children were younger, would be sitting around the campfire and looking at the mountains, the trees, the stars just enjoying God's creation and that'll lead very naturally, conversations about the Lord had let me remind you here Focus on the Family. Our ultimate goal is to strengthen your relationship with Jesus Christ. Marriage and parenting advice is helpful, but if you don't know the Lord, you're missing the big picture, here's a great example from Casey who called to ask for prayer. He said this if Focus on the Family didn't exist. I probably wouldn't be a Christian, husband and father.

Today, our family was agnostic but my mom became a believer by listening to your broadcast. She relied on focus is godly advice to raise me and my siblings. After high school I went to seminary and now I listen to the broadcast to help raise my kids in the Lord I thank God for Focus on the Family. I love hearing those kinds of stories that involve generations.

What a great example of the impact Focus on the Family has been making for now over 45 years yeah and we thank God for our donors who make it all possible. By donating to Focus on the Family you have an opportunity to participate in ministry to others. We hope the machine so to speak, and we just need to fuel your donations to keep it running in the best way to help us is by making a monthly pledge. It doesn't have to be a large amount. It's the consistency that helps us balance her books every month and when you make a monthly pledge of any amount will send you a copy of Steve for our's best-selling book, which was just revised a few months ago. Point man how a man can lead his family. That'll be our way of saying thank you and if you can't make a monthly commitment. Right now we understand we can send point man to you for a one-time donation of any amount we just want you to have this terrific resource in your hands. So join us as we help families around the world thrive in Christ. Just give us a call. Our numbers 800 K and the word family 800-232-6459 or you can donate online and request that book point man we got all the links in the episode notes and if you happen to be traveling through Colorado. Stop by our campus. The welcome Center replace the gonna stretch your legs a terrific bookstore and a great children's play area and in adventures in Odyssey soda shop with us again next time more encouragement for fathers from Steve for he's looking for us to respond and be obedient and if necessary deny ourselves. Let's be those men list be those menu guys with boys at home job you love them you love your wife to follow Christ with all your heart. You don't screw around with sin you be a man of God and integrity on behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team.

Thanks for joining us for this Focus on the Family podcast if you would please take a moment waiting in your app share this episode with a friend you might know a dad who needs to hear this. I'm John Fuller inviting back as we once more help you and your family thrive in Christ you ever wonder what it was like to meet face-to-face and miracle teachings along the leading Messiah/all novelty Focus on the Family, I have called you by name. Based on the hit streaming theories immerse yourself in first century Galilee experience the Savior to his followers. When I dive deeper into Scripture with everything Stern learn more about the chosen novel focusonthefamily.com chosen focusonthefamily.com lashed out that