Sharing Your Heart of the Gospel at Your Table

If you going through and the only thing we've been meal and left teeth can keep it, usually over time and I think everything is overtime if he tired. We are not behavior. Jesus is the Savior and we are supposed to be responsive to the holy Eric and we are supposed to show up and live like Jesus did invite people stories entire life like Jesus said, show compassion re-McCoy is with us today on Focus on the Family and your hostess focus Pres. and Dr. Jim Daly I'm John Fuller. Let me yes the listener heavy often thought about Jesus living at tables while he was on earth.

So much of his ministry was around a meal, you think about it. He met with sinners and ate with them and drink with them and he was criticized for that even the Last Supper. There is so much related to God interacting with us as human beings around meal time and we think it's important that here Focus on the Family we exist to help strengthen your family. That's our goal and I think we have a key for you today because so much of what Jesus did to model this on earth. We should be doing as well. And a lot of it's right around eating together yet. And right now were sitting at a table.

Ironically, without food and are just as Bree McCoy and breeze written a great book is full of stories and recipes and encouragement for you to do what were talking about here. It's called come and eat a celebration of love and grace around the everyday table brief welcome to Focus on the Family thinking so much for having me say right from the beginning. Thanks for the contribution sacrifice of your husband.

He's in the military right and that we are grateful for that. Thank you so very much. That was right there create some difficulty.

I mean, that's an unplanned schedule for him how to work around that saying you're not good to be home for dinner tonight. How do you fight the temptation to be upset after you made such a wonderful meal right temptation, yelling, facing think really what helped me to realize the kind of constantly inviting people into a fight when he watched on earth.

I think that his family and I realize I wanted to be seen invite her letter. It's late or if he's not able to come home. I might go to anywhere and eating by myself you want to come over until I feel like I've changed my heart to take on any victims. Let me let me look at the victim stance a bit more because I think so many lives there and I think it's a great revelation that you come to so speak to the person what that look like for that frustration and what were you missing.

I felt pain needs to be poignant sneaking needs to be protecting me. He needs to be paying me for all of the things are wonderful. Back at the heart. I was not making cheese that my all in all and so I needed to come to a place I realize I am the felt and she sat and he has placed so many amazing people around me and my life may have been, if not the city just my life to be my neighbors with all the people that I have placed around and found that slacking to a place that online ABM biter and victim so appreciated your book company were you described Jesus and his regularity with the table and how did you pick up on that. Why did that strike you is interesting, you know, we read the Scriptures over and over again. We want to memorize them but sometimes we don't see the plainness right in front of the switches look what Jesus did around the table that catch your attention. Well, for a long time growing up, I went on mission trips to my church. I said politely and discipleship training program and I just thought I am going to sell my staff and I am going to be a missionary. And God called me to marry a military man and she just got 11 different anywhere around the country and what I really realize is that I can bring a lot of cheese that to my every day people with the people he has in my life and I said, reading the Bible and realizing it is not a revelation. Jesus Artie said that he already was in all the gospel DC he's either on his way to a meal at a meal or he's coming back from any he's inviting people to meal and he lays in his everyday life. Just bringing people to the table and so I realize I don't need to be a missionary in a foreign land to show the love of Jesus to the people around me. I can make my dining table mission field, I love you have a quote in the book the fork is the most widely used an unrecognized microphone so good.

I realize that for a long time.

I stayed in our neighbor had been on the new person here I'm always the new person.

Being a military spouse. You will find that you are always a new person and I would wait for people to come to me and I would wait for people to make me into their home lifetime which I can acculturate nowhere in a high fences closed doors and I started bringing people to my people and realize I give this person a bowl of mashed potatoes and I just gave Dan for open-air life that you had an example story about a Bible study is were trended going what took place and how did that reinforce what you say well when we first moved to Columbia South Carolina.

One thing that we always do when we move and try to get into the church we want to dig deep and get fast because were only to be there for 2 to 4 years and so we we started going to church and fell. The leader side, you know, we can have 15 people in our Bible setting. I was so excited about it. The first night I laid out all the food we transformed our upstairs loft to a sitting area and about four people showed up and they had Artie had dinner. One was allergic to everything any of the food lines actually after a few weeks it dropped from four people down to two people and so it was really awkward. Really awkward.

It was really awkward actually dissing Jeremy and me. The leader was a male and then another male until I especially felt like what am I doing here on conversation was really strange we would just mean that little lot area.

I stopped putting out it was basically just water a few months we hardly knew each other's favorite weather and allergy with it and I just thought Jeremy 19 together and we decided now there's gotta be here, and there's gotta be an actual desire to walk with each other to that journey.

Jesus had set a time and so I just emailed that leader and I'd love to feed you all don't have to bring anything just come to the house.

Let's just say table that first night around dinner. Everything I mean stories just opened up. We were playing together. We were crying together and we have been meeting for three months and was really a guy by what Jesus modeled for us bring people to the table and you can share life with some of this is coming so naturally for you you you mentioned, here's your extrovert, your people person so you're trying to figure out how to connect otherwise it's probably always bouncing around in your head what to do here.

What about the person that struggles with the more introverted you know they may not be as comfortable inviting people over entertaining people takes a lot of energy for them to do that.

What advice do you have for them, should they not do these things. Great question actually taught me a lot about what it looks like to be hospitable as someone who is more introverted are someone who you know it takes a lot of energy to be around people he shared with me as I get to meet unique gifts and talents don't look like you are the one laughing at the table and sharing the funny stories and people questions but I'm an incredible listener and I do desire to live the people God has placed in my life and still allow me to operate at a table with everything so you might only want to bring people to your table maybe once a week maybe just want to bring one person at your table wears me down to bring 10 people at my table honor what God has created you have any gift he's giving you as long as you have a desire to let those people the way Jesus lets, then I think that God will show up for you like I really do you have a story to the book about your dog, which actually God is to bring an introduction, the lease for a neighbor. What would happen. We moved to California and we were meeting all of our neighbors back immediately to the left and we we did not meet for about two months and they were always on her. We were always time and one day we were eating a meal out on our front porch, which is a great way to meet me.

If you just take your food outside and our dog started barking and it was because the neighbors next test icon out and sell. We quickly took her daughter back inside. He made a little bit at the castle and I started calling out any birth because I thought this is their only chance that like a rare sighting and so I started calling out and minds.

We had never met you are extrovert and was looking at me the whole time like the dog and so they looked up and he said we're your neighbors, and we would like to have you over for a meal, and we really like you and then click here for that rest the summer they went on the way down. My husband was like only you screen out to someone you like anyone eat with wonderful my personality later Jeremy invited them over in his way.

He wrote a note come to dinner and put it on their door and thinking back home ring the doorbell and run and how to turn it was actually eating a meal for about four hours and lever means really great friends even though they've moved away. Now what what about that for some people step in today's world.

You don't know who your neighbor is sometimes so how does a person really trust the Lord that this is a good thing to do in the basic just overwhelmed with fear. What if there X murders. What about you know what I'm saying. You can come up with a lot of excuse why we don't have time to do this really helped me and I've always approached mealtime with neighbors or new gas and I will even be my next best friend. I just think it can be a really wonderful night filled with laughter and love might have all the same likes and dislikes, and that's not the case.

In fact 15% of the time is actually happening and I had to realize was the time I'm opening up for the Lord to use and we have had our share of people coming to our table and the crickets and okay and then leaving enough thinking okay we have nothing in common. As long as you're surrendering that time to buy. I believe that he is using and 70 just for me to change my mindset to be a celebration, but maybe it can be a night of listening or quiet, Embry.

What's so awesome about this is you're putting yourself at risk. Today the church in America particularly. I'm not sure.

In Canada, but here in the states we really are withdrawn to put yourself out like that to be comfortable with the uncomfortableness of it all.

We typically don't want to do that we are all about comfort and it's very uncomfortable to invite people over that you don't know. Don't share common things with them.

So how do you and your husband have, how did you I want to know more about how you fought through that we see coming from a different perspective you're like okay were learning things… Keep doing it because I love people and was he's thinking you know I'm tired of this well first of all we did have a huge learning curve in bringing people into our home because I wanted to start out on yelp. Pinterest is really day and I wanted to have everything perfect.

I wanted the perfect roast.

I went to guests to arrive and the roasted coming out at the same time and houses and isolate and email. I'm well put together and that with my mentality of hospitality for a few years once we start bringing people try table and there was even one time where Jimmy came into the kitchen right before death arrived and he said all you babe. How can I help you and open the blinds and cleaned up the table step back a little bit shocked and he just sighed. I thought you left, bringing people into our home and what is stressful. We both had to take a step back and realize why we doing because I'm bringing people into my home that they will laugh my food that they will praise my home that they will admire my marriage.

I've got it upside down and that is not my Jesus ate with people because that's more about you this about me exactly Jesus always, always, is the one I was listening. He was always the one withdrawing others out and so once I was able to switch that mentality of email. I'm not bringing people into my home so that I can be praised where bringing people into our homes that we can love the people out of place around us.

It made it more of goal for us to bring her home.

It was that common goal. We are bringing people to our home because we want to let the newly Jesus left and that probably helps you relax because it's not about you.

You don't have to be Pinterest perfect Pinterest perfume brief I'm not mistaken in the book, it felt like there was a common thread of recipes that included take-out was as regular listeners a little how you got to feel comfortable doing so without the ship for me on thinking I am inviting people into my home for a meal I have to make a meal and there was one time where this really broke through for me. We had neighbors over a dime for a meal and as soon as they came over I was just starting to prepare my meal and fell wife started talking to me and we started talking and thinking and my husband started talking with Dan and two hours later were still talking.

I made a conscious decision in that moment the first 30 minutes. I'm looking at the clock I got it I got a get dinner started. I got a start making things and then I realized it is so much more important for me to be listening to this woman right in front of me so much more important for me to show her that I am engaged and so I just completely forgot about the meal and two hours later we all said, we are hungry and I said Jesus created many times. I print the meal before and picking up the phone and I'm going take-out and there was one time I locked myself out of the house so the guests arrived on the porch and I think that for me what's really important and what the message of hunting is that the food is just the backdrop it is not the purpose is just they are to help move conversation along to bring fellowship but it is not the start Michelle once he realized that we're finally going take-out were fine if we bring the meal at the last network fine if we lock ourselves out because we just want to shop for the person in front of us are so good in many ways what I'm hearing you say he married Martha and that that's coming through clear, relax, follow the lead of the Holy Spirit.

If you burn the meal get a pizza. I love that you have an opportunity go to Thailand it's I think a passion for you. You work with compassion and ceasing a lot of the world. What valuable lesson did you learn sitting with sinners and the people you were trying to reach. While I think something that I really realized that there is a lot of darkness in the world and that a lot that's broken. People who have been broken by darkness in the world and I was able to do with the ministry I worked with. I was able to go and sat with prostitutes at the bar and share their story and then eventually actually the ministry we take them out for the night so that we get the night off and the whole goal with the move and out of prostitution was very long-suffering. I showed up that first night at the bar thinking will understand arrestees right here right now working to got from kneeling years and only this lifestyle and I realized as I was sitting at it so much more convoluted saying is so convoluted and it can be so seeking a spider landing if not one fixed issue and what I realized as I was at that table and listening to the stories of these women and why they were in this lifestyle and how they got there is is really uncomfortable sat at tables where there is brokenness, but Jesus really needs us to set the tables we are his light into the world and so we need to be going to the places where there is brokenness, whether that means setting with a family member when there's a broken relationship are sitting with a friend who lost them in the lab.

It can be uncomfortable and it can feel discouraging sometimes are depressing by Jesus meet us there. That's where we need to be setting and listening. Let me ask you Bree when you think of these examples in Scripture were Jesus's with people at the table.

Maybe the centers maybe the Pharisees may be the disciples. There's not a lot of comment there.

We hear the parables that he would give but there had to be interaction. We were Jesus was doing that he was listening to someone story that's kind of interesting thing to think about the here, the son of God, full of all knowledge and understood your story before even sure but he's there listening and I'm sure that was true with Matthew is Matthew begin to say yeah I've really blown it on the pay people back four times this and if I stolen them. You know the Lord's going good. This is good, but he was letting him come to the conclusion describe for us the kind of environment where you are leading the person toward a goal you're doing. It was such reference. I believe so first of all, listening is huge and it really isn't much. He didn't get anything else just ask them questions about their story and tell me about how you relapse or why are you here and over to you us to look at it as over time. If you going to a meal with someone and think this person, and only the meal and love Jesus. Can Jesus do that yes but usually it's over time, and I think the reason it's over time is because we are not the Savior. Jesus is the Savior and we are supposed to be responsive to the Holy Spirit and we are supposed to show up and live like Jesus said invite people stories entire lives like Jesus said, and show compassion so drooling just a little bit more and that Bree, what are some good expectations. I should have for neighbors or somebody you just met I'm having them over. What are some amusing tangible expectations for how that all ends so I always feel before we have people over. I take a moment maybe 60 seconds. It doesn't have to be a really long lengthy prayer and I just connected time to the Lord and I affirm and let him know that this is your time and whatever happens, I am surrendered to and so I think that is huge because it just changes your polity a little better and then when I am with people. I'm constantly checking in with the Holy Spirit.

I mean there sometimes that people say something, especially for like with some hot topic issues in our where I want to respond immediately to say my two thanks.

I want to jump in and I found a new type with the Holy Spirit. Check with the Holy Spirit. Now the time to be quiet.

Now the time to just sit and listen. Now the time to ask them. Can you share a little bit more with me about himself as a breeze. Sometimes people can overcomplicate that I completely get what you're saying because I been there if you been in the conversation, especially with someone who's adversarial.

You do have two conversations going on okay Lord you want me to respond what you want to say and you wait and you listen and you're listening to the person talking still engaging them you are having this other conversation in your spirit with the Lord and I think that's not weird it's not flaky it's that's real. That's what it means to be a believer in Christ and be filled with the Holy Spirit you are military wife and I wanted to make sure that we get the story because I think it's so profound.

You have friends Megan Garrett describe Megan Garrett what happened and how the table became a place of safety for med cell. Garrett lived in Florida and that was the first place. Tammy and I moved to after we got married for the places completely new ground frats and we not been at church and in fact, Derek came right up to Jeremy and started talking to Jeremy in such a way that after we left, I thought Jeremy and Garrett knew each other and I just walked up to me and asked me to join their Bible study group. I've never met and I was a kind person. Garrett was he just made everyone feel like you are his best friend and they were there for me when Jeremy was up late behind me over to their home constantly to see that I was lonely. I really learned about bringing people into a messy homefront night and we laugh about the teletypes had a newborn and a three-year-old and she would just say there's lines everywhere but mining started cooking and you might be actually cooking but come on and she just invited me into every season of her life without any excuse until he became very close to us and mentored after our first year of marriage and I hear two years actually into Jeremy and I living in Florida.

Garrett was killed during a sign that he was doing and I was one of that first responders to show it was also military.

He was, he is not as often the Air Force and so I got a calling that we actually were having people over for dinner and I'm mashing my mashed potatoes and Jeremy comes in the kitchen and we have to go right now and I was just completely taken back as he has six people sitting at our table and getting ready to feed Don and I said Jimmy we can't tell what he's talking about and he let me know that Garrett died and that make me guess right now and in the military when your spouse dies is a formal way that your told information and then that family member needs to bring start calling people to come be with and so Megan called me and I showed up and was there with her hands on Garrett legacy was so amazing I found myself so many meals over the next several weeks as we prepare for his funeral and all the preparations that go into the last of the lead lines we would just set the table and share his stories and honor his life and celebrate his legacy and for me that was showing up to a table of brokenness and honoring someone's life and being okay with being uncomfortable or being sad, still shelling out and that's probably the greatest test environment is doing okay Megan, so you may think she just got remarried and on the man she made to he actually lost his wife to cancer and so he has four kids and she had two kids and now they had six kids. It's a really redemptive story works were restarted again.

The big thank you to you and your husband for what you do for our country and the sacrifices you make. What a wonderful book company Bree, you have really given us some great thoughts and ideas on how to make the table a place of spiritual growth and insight, and friendship development far beyond the meal you eat and I dislike it's a great way to see your faith play out and were here for you Focus on the Family it's one big table and I hope this is been a meal, you have feasted on and if that's the case.

Contact us if you need us. We have counselors we have tools and resources we have breeze book and we want to make that available to you so please don't hesitate were here for you. Consider us at your dinner table and it would be our privilege to help it sure would. And you can get in touch with us and get your copy of breeze book, and eat a celebration of love and grace around the everyday table when you call 1-800-232-6459 800 K and the word family or donate online. We got the details and when you contribute to the work of Focus on the Family today financial gift of any amount will send a copy of the book, neat is our way of saying thank you for supporting the work they were doing literally around the world to support families join us tomorrow as we hear from Dr. Mike Bechtel will give some insights about how to give up people pleasing is that I want to be nice, but a surgeon is nice, but they also cut when it's needed and so that's part. A lot of people miss with the relationship with her kids growing up on behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team. Thanks for joining us today for Focus on the Family I'm John Fuller inviting you back next time is once more help you and your family thrive in Christ, one in five households cares for a child with special needs. If so, we know you want your child to be taken care of, no matter what happens. If you want to secure your child's future by preparing a will that need extra guidance for your unique situation. Focus on the Family can help download our resource. 15 questions to ask if you have a child with special needs is our gift to you. Focus on the Family.com/special needs e-book