National Marriage Week USA 2015

This is family policy matter program is produced by the North Carolina family policy Council of profamily research and education organization dedicated to strengthening and preserving the family, and often the studio hears John Rushton, president of the North Carolina family policy Council, thank you for joining us this week for family policy matters. We are pleased to have Weber as our special guest Sheila is Executive Director of the let's strengthen marriage campaign and heads up national marriage week USA. She is with us today to talk about this year's national marriage week which is scheduled for the week of February 7 through the 14th will also be talking about the benefits of marriage and how churches, couples and individuals can work to strengthen marriages in their communities. Sheila, it's great to have you back on family policy matters.

Thanks for having me well were excited to talk with you about national marriage week which is upcoming. I know that this recognition began in 2002 and is observed again annually from the week of February 7 through the 14th. Why was this event originally started and one of the main objectives of national merit week started in England and they are now 22 countries around the world celebrate national marriage make and then it was taken over by a smart marriages end in which close down and so in the last five years I've been helping run and businessman in New York City named text that sent our goal is to strengthen marriage to reduce divorce and to promote marriage of her cohabitation and also just to get the word out that marriage is good for you that it has huge benefits it brings more financial stability to individuals and families and to the nation at large.

We we are concerned about the financial stability of families because single motherhood and divorce are one of the greatest factors for impoverishing women and children and we know that marriage lifts, women and children out of poverty.

We also know that research is very clear that children who have both the mother and father in their home have much greater success both in school and emotionally and they have less trouble with the law and there's less teen pregnancy less drug use, so we we care about the future of our nation's children and because of that we want to get the word out that marriage is extremely important on their behalf is so important for understanding. Often times, however, we find that these benefits of marriage are overlooked or ignored by society. What you think is living in a day and age, which is sort of counting self advancement and people are seeing celebrities to our being very independent and not getting married but they don't realize that will have enormous financial capacity to make very unusual life choices. It does not mean it is the best thing for them or for people of modest means and, in fact working class, has seen a huge decline in the practice of marriage, and it's not.

It's not healthy thing for individuals and for children back in 1970. We had 79% of all the adults in America were married and now that found only 51% sourcing the lack of practice of marriage. It was a reduced number of marriages and that does impact children and we want people to realize that they don't have to be so afraid they're a little afraid of some of the divorce statistics that really there are ways for people to have great success and him we want to get the word out about all the classes and courses in and that people have access to. Now that they really didn't back in the 1950s and 60s, when that generation started to have some failures in their marriages. There were not many self-help tools for that generation. Maybe the younger generations parents if they've seen past disappointments and in failure and so what we do. A national marriage week I say is make sure the people realize there are classes and weekend conferences and books and all kinds of ways to help them learn better skills, better communication skills and better relationship skills.

The church has a special responsibility to help strengthen and promote healthy biblical marriages are some specific ways the churches can get involved and help strengthen marriages in their congregations and not only during national marriage week USA but all throughout the year right and we do want to promote activity all throughout the year. This week is just the catalyst you can even just form a committee this week and and do your work. All the rest of the year, we would encourage you to ask your pastor to preach about marriage from the pulpit on the Sunday classes to Valentine's Day that really does not happen very much and it's great to have at least one focused pulpit sermon about marriage and have it be encouraging instructional we would encourage every court church to launch a marriage classic could be a Sunday school class or home group. There are lots of choices in each church can find one. They feel comfortable with you now only 27% of our nations churches offer any sort of marriage class or pre-marriage training and that's that's a way to we really feel that part of our goal is to get a higher proportion a higher percentage of churches offering this that it should be as important to them as, let's say overseas missions of the choir or on some of the other programs of the church will absolutely bow communities how can individuals hope to strengthen marriage in their communities. Well, there's a lot of things people congeal I heard of one person who hosted a talk just a Friday night talk on how to have a better marriage and how it impacted their community. You can have it at the local library at the local YMCA. Obviously a church is an easy place to have that happen. You know, an individual can decide to open up their home and offer a marriage class for eight weeks or six weeks and use only: out-of-the-box tool of videotape that led to videotaped workbooks where people can come in place to bring their questions and concerns in place to learn how to overcome that some of the issues they might need help with a wide range of challenges that we face in maintaining control marriages clearly shield the media plays an important and powerful role in shaping our society's view about marriage. What are some ways that the media impacts our views of marriage and you believe that currently the media by the Lord is helping or holding when it comes to presenting positive images of marriage that are helpful to strengthening marriages in our country right now. The meaning is doing a lot of damage because they are focusing more on divorce really than they are on restoration and healing. When people have challenges so there I family stories of people who have found healing and in fact research says that when you get to the tough times.

The couples that do that five years later, they're very happy that they stay together, but the media is focused on a different kind message which is you know it's all about you and your use of the first person you have to worry about, and it's about your happiness and somehow children will just sort of be able to muddle through. As long as they know you love them.

Encourage people to do what earlier generations dead, which is be committed and see this as of now, and if you're committed to that valve and you can work harder to make it up better relationship rather than just digger Hilson and create selfish choices. Either your spouse will be given permission to be selfish or you yourself are sorta being given permission to be very selfish, as opposed to look for ways to to come together and have it be give-and-take on both sides for the stability of the home she was. We are nearing national marriage week USA. Clearly this is a time for people to be introspective, but also to consider practical things that they can do to help strengthen billing marriages for the benefit of our listeners just from your experience and involvement in the issue of seeking to strengthen marriages for years and years. If you have to recommend safely, the top three things that married couples might consider doing during national marriage week just to, kickstart a rejuvenation of the marriage, what might you recommend a date night. I know from having Rachel and myself got say that on the back burner in any free time you have tends to be logistics and just always being with the children and support for couples to to go off and have a nice dinner where they can relax and catch up with each other but not to make that date night time where all the grievances are aired but with the goal of having it be enjoyable and fun experience, so it takes a lot of planning, but it doesn't have to cost a lot. The second thing I would just say this sort of a little three words that come to my mind, which is eat, talk and play and be sure to eat meals together, I love it when their soft music in the background even at family dinner and the family dinner light like candles and see sit down as opposed to being on the couch in front of the TV that you are facing each other having a dining experience and then talking actually about casino, how was your day.

What's the best thing that happened to you today.

What was the worst thing that happened today in the last thing he taught play is to really find ways to plan a could be going bowling it to speak, play cards up like boardgames or something really adventurous, but it does just tangible things that it's surprising that when couples get into crisis.

They have been almost on burnout mode and they don't remember to do those basic things to build the enjoyment level of each other. Great suggestions also national marriage week website has a body of marriage strengthening resources and tools. If you would give some examples of the resources that you have made available. Please be sure to assure the national marriage week USA website with our listeners yes they bluff everybody take out national marriage week USA.org USA because it's happening in other countries and if you like our Facebook page, you'll see updates on news clips and news items about marriage and end find out what were doing their resources at the website are very important.

We got suggestions for reading suggestions for curriculum that you can use either in a group at your church or or in a small group at your home ideas on what you can do to launch a national marriage week celebration in your town would like to see each town have visible national marriage week celebration just like you see fireworks on 4 July we have Mayor and governors proclamations. We have press releases that you could use to get local coverage for your own efforts in your newspaper or your local radio lots of tools we have a city event kit you can download and print out the full 16 page kit full of ideas and tips and tools so we encourage any body was concerned about this to come up with some creative ideas. There was one group that put up a big booth at a shopping mall, and they found six counselors offer free marriage counseling all week long and set free magic marriage counseling during national marriage week and the people walking to the mall, sat down and had conversations got some help and I'm sure this counters got some business out of it so is a win-win for everybody, but those are the kind of creative ideas that we would like to see happening. We have about a thousand events posted on my national calendar last year. We believe that can be 10,000 events that we have the only online marriage calendar that exists everyone can put any event on there for free and somebody can look in their state to see what is happening near them. Thank you so much for taking the time to put all that together, I think you will be many of our listeners and let me repeat that website.

It's national marriage week USA.org and without unfortunately Sheila, we are out of time for this week, but I do want to thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to talk with us about national marriage week USA again which will take place the week of February 7 through the 14th and Sheila Warburg just want to thank you again for all that you do to strengthen marriages across our nation. While we appreciate your support and your involvement and look forward to hearing from your listeners. Have them register with us and will keep in touch.

Again, thank you Sheila for all that you're doing and we wish everyone a wonderful and happy national marriage week USA thanks for having me, family policy matters is information and analysis of the North Carolina family policy Council known as weekly discussion on policy issues affecting the family you have questions or comments, please contact 919-0708 visit our website and see family walking