What If Everyone Worked Harder To Love Each Other? Part 1

What would happen in this nation or any nation or significant number of people became lovers.

This is family policy motors NC family Pres. John Preston thank you for joining us for family policy matters pleased to bring you something a little different on this week's program. The first part of a powerful presentation given by Dr. Gary Chapman well-known altar of the five love languages book series, which he presented at the North Carolina family policy Council's major speakers dinner event in Raleigh North Carolina on April 2016.

We hope you enjoy it. One of the nation's foremost experts on relationships and love, Dr. Gary Chapman's expertise begins with the success and failures. He and his wife Carolyn have experienced in their 45 years of marriage, his own life experiences plus over 35 years of pastoring in marriage counseling led him to publish his first book in the love languages series the five love languages how to express heartfelt contentment to your mate. Many of the millions of readers credit.

This continual New York Times bestseller with saving their marriages by showing them simple and practical ways to communicate love. Dr. Chapman speaks to thousands of couples nationwide through his weekend marriage conferences. He hosted nationally syndicated radio program, a love language minute and a Saturday morning program. Building relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman both erring on more than 400 station. Dr. Chapman and Carolyn have two grown children and currently live in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, where he serves as senior associate pastor at Calvary Baptist Church ladies and gentlemen please welcome Dr. Gary Chapman, the five love languages gives you information on how to love someone effectively. If you want to love, but it does not give you the motivation one man suddenly� Read your book I took the quiz.

My wife tells me her love languages, acts of service, but I'll tell you right now if it's going like my washing dishes and vacuuming floors and artificial thing forget that young and what he say I got the information, but it is now the motivation won't talk about something that really is deeper than that. And that is the whole matter of having an attitude of love only ask you three very personal questions.

Number one. Are you a loving person is a cohort of who you are. Are you a loving person. Second question, what is a loving person look like in the third question is how you become a loving person that I cannot answer the first question for you. Are you a loving person. Only you can answer that but I will try to answer the other two questions and that is what is a loving person look like and how you become a loving person. This whole journey for May began on an airplane. I was speaking in San Diego and one of my daughter's medical conferences and she and I were flying back together and I were fortunate enough to get bumped up the first class which is always nice right. The problem was I was sitting in row three a window seat.

She was sitting in row five a window seat so we were not together. And so I said to her will you know honey, probably someone will be willing to change seats and we can sit together so the man sat down the aisle seat beside my daughter and my daughter said to him excuse me sir, would you be willing to change seats with my father so we can sit together and without looking at her. The man said is it an aisle seat and she said no, sir. It's a window seat can't do that don't like to call over people in. My daughter said, all while I understand that when the man came and sat down beside me and I'll sleep and I said to him excuse me. Would you be willing change seats with my daughter season five. A window seat so that we could sit together and the man said sure, I'll be happy to answer my daughter and I sat together and I started thinking was a difference in those two men didn't have a daughter and the other men didn't have a daughter talking one of their mother/son always help other people always be kind of people in the other said son look out for yourself with SME on a journey and I asked thousands of people all over this country to questions. The first question was, could you give me the name of someone in your family are your circle of friends and you consider to be a loving person and if I did the second question was why is there about them that makes you say that there loving person and their answers fell in the seven categories and I later call them the seven traits of love and I wrote a book called love as a way of life in which I explore the question what would happen in this nation or any nation or significant number of people became lovers and want to share with you the seven traits.

Incidentally there all found in the Bible which leads me to say that anything you discover in social research.

If it's true you're very likely to find in the Bible and it certainly will not be contradicted by the Bible because truth never contradicts truth you are listening to policy matters and resource to listen to our radio show online and family resources him with persuasion in your community to our website family collecting so I give you. They suggest he write them down because this is how you can tell whether you are loving person number one is kindness. I define kindness as actions and words that benefit other people, kindness.

I don't know if you grew up in Sunday school, but I did want the first verses I learned in the Bible was the kind one to another, but you know what I observed about children in my Sunday school class. If you were kind of them they'd be kind to you if you mess with their art.

You push them in the water line. They forgot about being kind and I find that adults are not much different. It's pretty easily kind of people are kind to you, but kindness is that so you are will be expressed to people are kind of you, one husband said I was watching the game and my wife walked in the room and said honey, can we talk about that I� That's it, honey.

We've already talked about that. Besides, I'm watching the game and she walked out of the room and I watch the games and he said 30 minutes later, she walked into the room with a TV tray with a sandwich and chips and a Coke and she put them in front of me and she leaned over and kissed me and said I love you and she walked out and I sat there thinking to myself this is not fair. This is not right. She should be treating me this way is that every blind I took on that sandwich.

I felt more guilty and finally I flipped off the game I walked in and said honey, I'm sorry. Well talk to you and I'm willing to talk to and she said no and it's okay you can watch the game will talk after the game is in the games on your see there something powerful about loving somebody being kind to somebody who's not kind to you.

This is the do also with the manner in which we speak. Proverbs 15 one says a soft answer turns away wrath the you know we don't have to scream at each other.

Screaming is a learned phenomena it can be unlearned. You can say anything you want to say softly also has to do with the manner in which we do kind things you know so you know, guys. Sometimes we don't get credit for the kind things we do at home because we don't do them in a kind way. Okay, I'll take the trash out to get off my back woman.

I'm sorry guys, you don't get credit for that, you may as well let the flies take the trash. It's a kind thing to do but do it in a kind way kindness can be a simple thing. Just this week I was sitting in a parking lot in a cave whose two vans. Beside me was trying to pull out and I couldn't see either way and a man walked out of the store and he looked both ways and saw what I was, and he just waved me out was a kind thing to be big things just kind things single mother said to let you know Dr. Chapman. She had three small children. She was single and working a full-time job and I said how to do this and she said sometimes. Dr. Chapman's sister smiled in the grocery store that keeps me going to be big things in the little things, but his words and actions that are designed to help another person to give you just one idea. The book is filled with ideas begin to give you one idea on how to cooperate with God and becoming kind just make a list one day of all the kind things you see other people do and the kind words. Your other people say just like a list one day is the fact that effective listening and watching for kindness will help create you become a kinder guy a second trait of a loving person, as I will be patient. I define this is accepting the imperfections of others when not trying to be patient in our culture.

If the computer does not write in three seconds we get impatient with your patient is giving you.

If you're married is given your spouse, the freedom to misplace their car keys every three days without preaching a sermon that God is a God of order folks. I hope you understand that some people are not wired. Keep up the car keys you how many times you put that little hook out there in the garage.

If you hang on a hook on the hook to contact you and attach those keys to a tennis ball. You think surely that will lose a tennis ball they will lose the tennis patient is not going ballistic when your spouse comes home and forgot the milk and the bread you know it's not a sin to forget.

Let's focus on the solution rather than letting our impatience cause us to make the situation worse. How do you bill patients in your life to be one clue about apologizing when you're not patient experiences.

This not only through four years ago I got my bank statement and it is the one right I want out of the bank talk to this lady. I showed it to her explained to she didn't get it. I explained it again and she still didn't get it explained it one more time and I realize I've got to lose it and I said that's okay and I walked out and got back to the parking lot of the church where my office is and I heard God say you don't need to go to your office because you will help me by the day up there. You need to do with yourself somewhat back to the bank and I was hoping this lady didn't know who all was well back to the bank and I said I lost my temper with and I raise my voice and I'm sorry there's no excuse for that and like they should forgive me. She said not Chapman.

We all lose our said I know we do but is still not right. So what I did was unfair. It wasn't your fault was my fault. It was unfair and I hope you'll forgive me. She's a dog gem.

I'm happy for you. You will apologize but a few times and you begin to think about being impatient to begin to change your behavior. Listening open character traits of a loving person even by Dr. Gary Chapman Carolina family policy Council's major speakers dinner event in Raleigh in April 2016. Please plan to tune in next week family policy matters part two of this engaging present patient. Thank you for listening. If you'd like to learn more about our major speakers dinner event.

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