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Every man is a great adventure. Life doesn't usually feel that way.

Jesus speaks of narrow gates wide roads masculine journey is filled with many twists and turns. So how do we keep from losing heart trying to find a way life feels more like a losing battle and something worth dying for, grab your gear, request with your band of brothers will serve as the guides we call masculine journey masculine journey starts here now we are back on the love boat today at the masculine journey hello but there you go anywhere work on the errorless route today so this can be kind of an exciting show, that's for sure. We got some stuff that really is kind of just challenged me. My thinking so I'm wondering if it may challenge a bit.

It's nice to have a lot of our team back with us.

We got Dennis back. It's good to have you back with us, you better yes sir and we have Alan leave and Vinnie Samuel. Although were still praying for him. He still recovering from his surgery.

Surgery a week ago Tuesday and he is doing much better and we thank you for the prayers because he's making progress but we got to be in love today and Alberto you have this man. Arrows love what when we talk about being a rather you say that maybe I just say I guess they work in his voice and she did just letting arrows is the Greek word for at the visual image I don't think any time that is sexual. This is arrows is where we get the word erotica.

So when we think of this love. It's a physical attraction.

It's that it's a consummation of that physical attraction is the love where you just can't get it out of your mind and will be think about that versus the agape love the self-sacrificing love of the self-sacrificing love is spiritual love helps us to transcend the physical world and focus more on the spiritual aspect of that relationship.

Arrows keep you grounded right there in the flesh that is not much get around and you got a click along those lines, and to take you, right there. However you know a thing as this would point out without arrows, you know, there wouldn't be a next generation so you know it at some length. This is a clipper quit for for those of you not familiar. This is from the movie hitch and he is kind of like, what's the word I'm looking for.

Had it before the show. I completely lost it when he's a matchmaker and what he does is he, he doesn't pick out the other person. He lists that physical attraction come with its own but he helps a guy refine himself. So the you know guys really know what women like, I know that I struggle with that for probably 53 year 53 outside been struggling longtime but keep what he does. He tries to refine the package a little bit and help guys to come up with the goofiness, the oddness away so but in this scene are matchmaker hitch. He only helps guys that are in love. This is all about love for him and this particular one.

This guy is not in love.

You know, I'm fine. Thank you. Tell me about her elements looks X factor.

Actually, I was in the shop. John and by that of course you mean you're buying lingerie when you meet somebody is no longer seen as a source of funding. She gives me a number no, she won't return my phone calls just can't get my mind through his losses taste colors dull things I used to matter. I think things I can snap back on the site. Excuse me you may have misunderstood what I do exactly know.

I was told you home. God is my client's actually like to make one thing clear, professional help is concerned, you can admit it because generally that's the hardest part is costing man's crime. Eventually they do all is like a metaphor right well see more of a literal Konica. So when I do this all this is more like me saying that I will literally break off if you ever touch me again so I you get a feeling that this is clearly not thing that glorifies God. But it has its it has its you need and in life in general. We do, there's an attraction to come to that. This normal that's most relationships or have some sort of physical attraction. What's the one thing you guys notice about our our nunnery.

He's not here. Our antihero here on Vance months what you notice about his personality.

Where was his focus himself off if he was all about pride. It was about conquest was about devouring the beauty that's a kind of lust did you write not only does it not glorify God, but it it wounds other people severely so I think it know we Christians can see that one pretty easy mark that CS Lewis took this at a level that really kinda shocked me in his book he wrote a book CS Lewis call before logs which I could recommend high enough to anybody want to study the subject, but on the subject of arrows. He went inside arrows and he said well there's Venus, which is that which months and just described to a T, which is just a physical animallike desire, but he says from Venus the carnally agreement within arrows. I now turn to arrows as a whole. Here we shall see the same pattern repeated as Venus within arrows does not really aim at pleasure, so arrows does not aim at happiness. We may think he does but when he is brought to the test. It proves otherwise. Everyone knows that it's useless to try to separate lovers by proving them by proving to them that their marriage will be unhappy one. This is not only because they will disbelieve you that usually will no doubt. But even if they believed they would not be dissuaded forced the very mark of arrows that when he is in us, we had rather share unhappiness with the beloved and be unhappy on any other terms. Arrows never hesitates to say better this than parting. Better to be miserable with her and happy without her letter heartbreak, provided they bring together the voice within us does not say this is not the voice of arrows and thus you have this idea of the beloved and this arrows that CS Lewis is going take is a bit of a trip on but that's that in love feeling right Dennis that you had for that young girl when you're in high school or maybe in junior high and also the what is this this gun in my mind I can get this brought my mind it's it's a it's a strong force that this record with, especially the young man yeah we went we went to a place with that at age 17 that I don't necessarily recommend, but I can tell you as we been talking about it and reliving that time in my life that I very much thought I was in love with this young lady and she consumed my thoughts I wanted to talk to her on the phone all the time. I wanted to see your as often as possible so there was an in love going on there for sure. And so within that in love. CS Lewis shows it is a way that that glorifies God. But there's a way that self-sacrificing measures actually can be destructive and rebellious to God, but let's just get a feeling of in love here with where Harry Met Sally is sending anything you know being with you last person before I go to sleep at night because I'm only using when you realize you will and will remember you became friends and that we want just if that's what life's about that the just an unbelievable feeling everybody that's experienced it seems like that can't go wrong. It's amazing thing in the Vinnie Ruiz go through life. In my case anyway dating a lot of women know you young I was young. At one point I will say many many many many moons ago and naturally you know you're in love with everybody because it becomes a conquest, but the first time that I honestly felt love and new that it was love, and I have told you guys the story many times when I took my wife while she was in my wife then Rita, who had two children and we picked them up and we had a great time with the two kids that beach and everything else and lost entered my mind for Rita.

She was gorgeous and then love transcends some love. Discussion of an NCS Lewis can take your place and I think will surprise you. Sure surprised me to discuss that when we come back, have little bit more love boat coming your way to find out more about us at masculine right.

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Radio that's masculine journey radio large rides. Welcome back journey to still on the love boat with compassion, but nonetheless we are talking about arrows and that in love feeling but also the physical part of that and when we left our hero Vinnie was on the beach with this.

What was apparently an 40s hottie and on the way home know in the car looking at two kids and I'm looking at her, and note the loss was really absorbing me and I had to make a decision. Wait a minute I love. I think I'm falling in love with this lady but I have to make some kind of decision because this two children and my man enough to take on two children. Just because some loss thing for somebody and to cut the story short, I am so happy that I made the right decision. I married the lady I raise the two kids they love me like I'm there. Dad and everything ended well. The end and it does when it goes and that did you have some you wanted at this. I know that was quite good is. It is good, continue on with what a little bit of CS Lewis's discussion here on arrow Susan here.

He says this is a good place to add people in love cannot be moved by kindness out of me in opposition makes them feel like martyrs martyrs is exactly right. Years ago when I wrote the medieval love poetry wrote about many of love poetry described that strange half make-believe religion of love. I was blind enough to treat this as an almost purely literary phenomenon. I now know better arrows by his nature invites all of love.

He is at his height, most godlike of all the loves arrows is at its height, most godlike airflow.

Therefore most prone to demand our worship of himself.

He always tends to turn being in love into a sort of religion the parent can say to one another in an almost sacrificial spirit is for love's sake that I've neglected my parents left my children cheated my partner failed.

My friend is greatest need these reasons, and loves law has passed for good. The volunteers, which means the people. It made the valves may even come to feel a particular merit in such sacrifices, what costlier offering can be laid on loves alter in one's conscience and so when you think of what he's saying there if you talk to people that had affairs that was beyond the sex of it. It was that I'm in love you and understand. I love this person, but you see right now that is love that glorifies God. Your writing theirs as you were saying that I start thinking about we were talking about six different types of love and as you were saying that I realize the first three are self-feeding.

Your ear it's feeding oneself it's all about me consuming that that woman makes me feel so good care about nobody else. This is what I need.

This is what I want is the last three are sacrificing. We have a pregnant which was the long-standing love between Anna sacrificing but sacrificing for a different purpose sacrificing for a sacrifice. It is selflessly glorifies God very in, but the one were talking about now is a sacrifice, hurts other people.

It doesn't glorify God.

Most the time is probably sinful, but I would say there are other times when it's just it's not sinful, but it's not right. So if you if you go back and I just want to go back for second this Harry Met Sally clip as we were talking about an earlier was he really being about her was he being about himself. She made a great point. I was thinking that he was talking about what she did for him even yet that's the bit it was all about him wasn't that he never said I want to be there to do this for you want to be there to do that for you out when you get old and you can move. I want to feed you soup and put your feet up on the couch and stuff. Not that that's romantic, but a beauty unveiled at some to do a marriage where you get to that okay okay and all these things hadn't got uses all these forces, sometimes for good week and all sorts of different ways. Let let's talk about this particular sacrifice here for second in one of the worst sacrifices that I can possibly think of that happens in love where people turn it actually to suicide and you may recognize the music as Romeo and Juliet where we see what these two sacrifice for love sacrificial but it sure doesn't glorify God you guys get you get the picture actually loved and so is dying and died and sounds. It goes on and there's the love I mean you know when she grabbed the dagger 00 happy dagger even when she it's it's a painful thing to watch because this is a waste of your two beautiful lives, and in some misguided but again, they think they're doing it for an honorable reason and often people find themselves here. You know where they think they're doing something honorable, but it's totally dishonoring to God and in its an interesting thing because that feeling feels so holy absolutely know when you when you say that I wondered.

I was sitting there thinking to myself, is that not part of the journey in there's a maturity it in a spiritual growth than that because it started for me with my wife out.

We were in a meeting. If for some reason I looked at her and smiled and winked at her neck never winked at anybody my life. I winked at her and I for year and 1/2 try to get her to go out with me. She's dating somebody else out. I was haplessly want to go out with this girl and helpless to do doing about it but as we you know they talk about the first five years of marriage of the hardest. That's where you have to make that decision you make that transition of she feeds me to I want to take care of her and vice versa for woman that she wants to take care of you and I just see that there's got to be a a path in this. It starts in one way, but it's can you make the transition. I think that's why divorce rates are so high is people can't move to that point where I want to take care you and when you get to that point. Like Romeo and Juliet were you know they're committing suicide note. One of the big aspects of this ministry is my place in the story Mike and in my place in the story just because I didn't get what I want Dennis well I was just thinking about my mom and dad and while this came across my mind that you my parents have been married 50 years this month and there a lot of times during the course of their marriage is matter fact I can remember we were teenagers.

Sometimes a kid used to say what I wish they would stay together for us because it can't seem to get along in a because they had problems they were younger people went very young when they got married. I had you as a child. They had all my middle brother. He was a great all three of us had our own yeah we have lost a form to get in arguments about what I seen their love grow over the years and can honestly say that I think my parents are in love to this day 58 years after, and I can see that role kind of change were after my dad had a major heart attack and cannot didn't work as hard and is his business is much mom is had some health problems that that that caring is kinda shifted around a little bit where he does a lot of things for her in the house and things like that. So the first is the true love there that I think is always been there and I think that that's the critical thing. Obviously, as I thought about this God uses that, in love, young love feeling to take us through where I don't mind being unhappy if I can be unhappy with my wife through those early stages of the marriage. In the book, love and war by John Eldridge. He performed the marriage ceremony where he was talking to the young bride and the young groom and I love what he said to them that's getting to that stage that Al made reference to getting past this young love in love feeling to where does that go where does that transcend any says this is John speaking to the to the marriage couple ally is going to come to the both of you stating very soon in subtle and not so waterways in subtle ways, it can't be done by the word you marriage it can't be done.

It's too hard. We had unrealistic expectations. It isn't worth it. The lie to you, Megan will be your nothing more than a disappointment in the lie to you, Daniel will be your really not man enough for this and so I have two words for you today. Words I want to keep close in your hearts as you go forward you Megan your radiant you shimmer you shine your treasure for woman, a gym, you are in Daniel your man your strong and your value you have what it takes all this close to your hearts.

It can be done and it's can and it is worth it in in in the masculine journey that's that sense of being in love takes this into manhood, but Vinny after 85 years. Where does it take you. I have no idea that I know I stop smoking I mean, you hear you're on your second marriage with Nancy that's right she's blind and you're in a situation where your basic basically helping her. And now you find yourself therein, where and when does it take it, but it's a different kind of love, you know, nobody I love Nancy is no question about it.

She's a wonderful lady and am blessed to have but Rita was my first love and will always be my first love and I excuse me Robby, but I better say that we were blessed with daughter because if I don't say that we had another daughter that daughter will get me tonight so that we had another daughter, and we were blessed with three beautiful four beautiful three beautiful children. We lost a son, but did you know I I really don't know how many people know what love really is no love comes in so many packages I sent for the Greeks have always worked for it's it's it's an interesting thing but it's a place that you know when God takes you that I can tell when I'm sitting on the couch with you and Nancy and I when I'm at your house, but this is a sacred place.

People that are suffering to some extent through what's going on with their lives, but your you are still together, and you still are happy that you have this way to share life. I really do believe that on the phone right because Rita is a psychiatrist or psychologist. I think the a and all generation we think differently than say guys like you, me, I got kids older than it has the older we get better looking like you have a daughter married in two months and I don't John Eldridge said as you listen to podcasts of mass concerning radio.org and join us next Tuesday the recording of the Princeville community center where to start at 539