Orphan Spirit

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Talk well, that's not necessarily true.

I'm I'm looking forward well yeah I'm looking forward to the topic Guzman working with me on this topic so it's a bittersweet kind of thing for me today as we as we talked through this because I'm sure that some things that I deftly need here in I know a lot of our journeys in the past and let you guys the stories that I'm sure there's other things for you guys and also for the listeners.

They some excited about that.

But I'm also anticipating some work that I need to do coming right out of this the show today, but that Robby were talking about a topic I know you love quite a bit when what is that topic to talk about today. It's the orphan spirit and it's it's sort of understanding what you learned in Ephesians 1, you know that we are adopted this sentence and being able to accept that adoption is a bit tricky thing because we have a tendency to want to be independent and we want to make it work on her own terms and amount way that we want to believe we can do it sometimes when we can't actually exist right into where you know this. This is a brutal clip but hilarious because it's Tim the tool man and how many people are like me, the Christian car guy that find themselves sitting out in front of the NAPA parts store on God please show me how to do their thing. If you're the Christian cargo can't know put a new windshield wiper motor and overhead. I mean it's it's so you looking for that and that you know they had the slogan that they taught that Morgan talks about with grants ransom hard and sit you know you don't, you may have to do this alone by yourself, but you don't have to do it alone. I'll say it again, you don't have to do this, you may have to do this by yourself, but you don't have to do it alone.

And so here we have Tim, that's candid to show his son now, which is kind of he's fathering the site. Nina is actually doing a pretty good job of fathering the boy, but he himself is on fatherhood in this area and he gets himself in over his head where really equally called on God to send them a father to show him how to do some as far as major clients we got cut electricity that is used by electrical nerve center die right well cut off all electricity just a section has worked in the kitchen.

There kitchen flashing the label is the best all and everything to think a handyman, take up all cores taken off.

I didn't ground ground is all yellow see the sun is yellow. It heats the ground that I did that teach you well. Electricity is all stairs I should treat a severe electrical burn little bit about really feeling that not disparately, but we are going now. My father, unlike Tim would find himself like he would ever forget it was good to break the patio and the girls he had all the bricks and any had all the tools let you know when he was given a split a brick with a sledgehammer that just went well, and then he would get the cost and remember it was, it was not unlike Tim the tool man and so you know I just commented, true blood, they did it again, but you know it's it's an interesting thing that I really find myself there so many times on his time to fix the lawnmower or something goes wrong in the house and you got it and and you're asking God father me with this.

Send me somebody that knows how to do this. I don't feel like I can't know I can't have what it takes and it's in thankfully we have YouTube yet and I don't mean that obviously is not a replacement for God we need ask the fathers and certain things and everything especially in certain things you nobody even for me. I didn't grow up knowing anything about guns and my dad never really had a gun, but I never see other literary side and know much about them and then I got a little older and I got a shotgun given to me and I and my first hand and I knew how to operate it. I didn't have a clean and ounce of being able to go on you to was actually very much a good thing for me to do that. Have somebody you didn't know father, me through some things in others. I things on YouTube. I would not recommend some things it's been good and that that realm and I am thankful that those are there unity can help you step-by-step.

You can walk through it with a plethora people in the stadium.

Today we have a people that are not the area. You will get here from an NPR's studio audience and Jim grams with this today wanes with this Andy is with us and I said that correctly they did without the going to clang from me. I'm a very manly shirt on a date to get ready for but can't guarantee him him when as we talk about this topic of orphan spirit. How does that. I know you've heard it at boot camp. It hasn't really kinda impacted your life is God's concern can impact unpack some things for you right it's a painful subject for me but it's it's a now it's actually not so much in terms of the painting next door into something with my dad. Currently I grew up, my dad left my mom I was five years old. It actually created a huge void filled with a lot of other things.

And even then when I did see him.

It was just a very none of the word for me was normal. The physical the mental the verbal abuse me. It was normal like glass boot camp when the things that came out was and it helped me see so much and actually brought me to a place of forgiveness and actually praying for and hoping that I can help him through some of these things is that he was not truly father or mother, his mother left him and his siblings get a lot of siblings. He had to drop out of school and he was like six grade his life coming up with heart and he loved me the best way that he knew how it opened up the door again for the forgiveness and for me to be able to see that it he didn't know what he didn't know he did the best that he could do with. He had a lot of his own feelings that he was dealing with and it's it's it's created a journey of reconciliation there with him and with me and God to is for the longest time I pretrade that angry father on the got so you think you it's it's that this was a topic and when I first heard about it. I knew it was true. They didn't really resonate with me right out the gate is kind like I knew it was true that Mike and I don't know it's more than a minute, and this message for several years and continues to bring me back to this point.

In a lot of ways and just how intertwined it was in my life just how much that I lived like an orphan. Only got another quit before we get a break and it's a short Cliffords about a minute and 1/2, but it's from Goodwill hunting Melissa Robin Williams talking to will about being an orphan six months holding her hand. Doctors could see in your eyes. Visiting hours to an exciting loss is something more than two seem intelligent, cocky, scared to possibly understand the depths of your you presume to know about me because you saw painting in my life testing how you feel you twist that encapsulate you because you know what, I can't learn anything from you. I can't read in some you you fasten one to get to the clip is get a break because in the story you have a kid is literally an orphan and that's not a lot of our stories grip with the dad in the home, but it didn't make me any less from having orphan spirit and that's what I want to.

As we come back we start talking hours or more of our stories think it's important thing is that clip of his men share know what got done with him on the journey that they say okay this is where I was. This is where Matt know. Maybe you have this far to go yet but you normal work in progress here and in the process with God. You know it's important we share those things that other people can get the context of you know I got up with the data in the home is very fortunate he was there. It was funny today at work and I'm working with a relatively new person. I'm known for number years we just haven't worked together closely with the questions is was like growing up in your house and thought wow that's amazing. That was a question right before the show you nine satellites can be a interest talk about to come back with a good can't come up we talk about this topic and many others.

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What an amazing thing that would be to give somebody a gift what they really end up getting as their heart back coming April 12 through the 15th masculine journey radio.org is one of the greatest investments I know of you know I wasn't prepared for that and I was looking at ours are set listed actually was looking at the clip about that was limited to didn't expect that I am actually thinking and as we we miss having here tonight. We can talk about this topic of orphan spirit today and soon to talk a bit more about that is the second half and then talk about what we do with that. Once we realize we have it so where do we go with it and how often potentially do we need to go there. I'm learning it's a lot more often than what I originally planned electric power if we do that Sam left the whole audience hanging on your dad was in the home going out but you need to Cheryl a bit more but I thought I might after the next clip okay yeah I'll tease that all right, but any test little bit about your childhood. Inheritance topics kinda touch your heart along as God's work with you okay. A couple times a minute.

This topic comes up quite regular show whether it's this specific topic or something right related to it, but some I thought about when you talk and he said you didn't really want to say that an orphan spirit was really something you didn't really register resonate first like you and I think part of that is not just the thought is that I don't think we want to acknowledge our fathers were poor weren't there for us and we just we just kind of one a is another way of our posing. I think of trying to keep that back, but in my experience, my dad is I had a good childhood up to about 13 had a great relationship. Not perfect but may never really good dad but then you know I didn't. I was an abuse like will and goodwill hunting but it was abandonment 13. He had moved out of the state really affected me and I can identify with all these clips, particularly the one Tim the tool man. I mean, you know he's posing there. I can remember trying to put laminate down the bathroom floor and I was soaked this golf that I couldn't. I couldn't accomplish something so basic in my dad and my brothers. They were builders you know they were and it was this something so simple as just something I hadn't had them there to help me through. But then I realize that's only a small portion of the fathering and I didn't get it was more on how do I relate to woman. How do I you know how I relate to people how would I do with this anger, what would I do with my vision went well on this earth. What's the calling and all that stuff really came together at the boot camps in an is that you continue to read the books and you know just to me it makes the gospel message so much clearer when you really talk about the heart and the full context and then you know like like Robby said were all orphans really and unless we really allow God to be the father to think it's awesome important to point out that our primary relationship with God's got his father.

That is the relationship Jesus talks about you Natalie Perry. The father, it that is the primary core relationship is your friend Yasser this or other pieces of that yes, especially as we mature in him but he never stops being a father right nor the loses the desire to father's not just us stepping in and asking to Jim you had a little bit different of a story about this orphan spirit what these guys shared doing day is that he was talking I was thinking, well my dad didn't deserve me until he was 77 when I was 45.

I grew up knowing I was unconditionally loved by my parents. I had a father that he was out he wasn't him. He could do just about anything.

He took me flying need to be playing well caddying while he played golf but it was still special. I spent a lot of time with my dad even though it was a very busy man.

I orphaned myself. I pulled back from that love largely because I was can say I'm on the spiritual and emotional giant. You see before you die because of that great upbringing but I really gotta check out when I became a teenager as I wasn't worthy of that love. I didn't deserve the wonderful upbringing. Nice bakehouse never lacking for anything and became an orphan because of my own self-image I was the beloved son but I was willing to accept that we do that with our fathers in heaven as well.

In all these things we can fall in the trap of believing and cannot not good enough, and if anything God says were good enough, right if it's on her own merits. None of us are going to get there but it's because he is adopted us as his children right that we are are are good enough only going to go to this next clip from the movie parenthood in this clip you have Steve Martin's character.

Thinking back about his childhood and is having a dream in which he's a child and his father has dropped them off at a baseball game.

As we pick it up. He's kinda remembering it, but he's also remembering it through a child's voice as a 35-year-old man. Let's listen to this clip and look back and talk about is assisting me to write here so really big baseball fan dad bringing her lot see you don't talk like a kid you not.what is why that's great that's great you know you you got a lovely family and Malcolm was at nice and in that's really really good clip. In a lot of ways and you listen to that good you know that's not actually speaking he's got some pretty good insights at this point. 35 now he is working through forgiving. His father, and understanding how you know he could instill other things in his own shelter, which is my sculptor. We talked a little bit earlier about some of my story and I grew up with my father in the home he was actually there until he passed away when I was 21 in there's a couple different stories in ways he abandoned me.

Even when he was there.

You love me and I always knew he loved me. That was never the question. I know that in some ways I was the apple of my father's I and lots of ways. But then there are other ways that just really perplexed me and and have the words for it. Eight 1012 the baseball thing kinda hits home a little bit. I mainly because my dad and drop me off at a professional baseball game and say hey here's Asher watch me he would drop me off at my baseball game you know and have a coach and a watch over me and he would take off home to watch actually listen to the Cincinnati Reds typically are to do anything else but but hang on my game in and for me that was very hard time in mouse it may sound minor in incidence may sound minor but it's a message that is always the killer and for me that message was ever father that loves baseball and I talked about show before I can still name the 1970s, reds including announcers and I listen to them so frequently as a kid, but he did love baseball enough to come watch me right in the message it came from. That was it was not true, but the message that I lived with for so many years is not a priority. Not important. And like you said when I kinda got it. I never ever doubt of the God love me. It's just he's got other things to deal with like world hunger and you know there's other in a different baseball crazy dictator know so for me, there was Abbott and also one is about 12 that had a stroke and was never able to talk again other than yes no if you select cuss words and that was about it and so at the time that I really started teenage years before my first car for really had a girlfriend or anything like that. I didn't have anyone to go to the member getting so incredibly mad at one time talk show that it in the driveway of my house because is trying to change water pump on a car and I had no clue what to do and the anger that was there just anger of not having anybody there to show me what to do in on some of sorry make this all about me at this portion is one fast workout scanner working with me right now. I've been in a season for the last year of turmoil would be a word that's good uncertainty in a lot of ways you have been traveling every other week back and forth to the beach, which sounds really nice but we don't get to see the water because you're working most the time it's still working. I do work for your company appreciate being with but just the uncertainty you never really feeling like you're at home and at home doing laundry and what that does the Trident to date somebody in things like that.

It's a challenge, but it doesn't lots of ways and you think that that would be the time that I would say okay God I need you to father me and I know that I know that in my head. I know that in my heart and up until a couple weeks ago needed a show I really didn't do it and I will say over the last couple weeks I've been stepping back and praying with him and say God I need you here needed a father, me, and I haven't come to any big earth shattering revelations but I have had is the comfort of knowing that I'm in this by myself and I'm not alone and I spent the last year feeling like him alone and that's that thing that I would encourage you today is to go out and say God where my living my life. I come alone. Where do I need to invite you into that is what my relationship is of my work is relations with my kids is that all those things and answers yes it is all those things.

But where do I need to invite you and inviting them this week and let him father you messenger the radio.org to register the boot camp, not April 12-15