Shame, Guilt, Fear, Hiding - Part 4

Every man is a great adventure. Life doesn't usually feel that way. Jesus speaks of narrow gates wide roads masculine journey is filled with many twists and turns. So how do we keep from losing heart trying to find a way when life feels more like a losing battle than something worth dying for, grab your gear, request your band of brothers will serve as the guides and what we call masculine journey masculine journey starts here now welcome messenger. Very glad to have you with us to the today revenue 60 very hot you like I couldn't count the fast & I practiced another exciting thing today as we get to hear Jim Graham a clip from Jim Graham's favorite movie of all kind of autonomy and of all time. The one that when we ask at boot camp. What movie is your favorite movie immediately jumps in your mind every time to suit Jim to set up that could force her an obit and we always had a pleasant and carbon. We found that what was Barbie and patient care brought that's true, is speaking at boot camp we have coming up November 1-4. That's a regular boot camp with have one before that. Yes, we have an advanced boot camp and so if you endure the camp rock cliff, but my boot camp or you've attended two boot camps could be a ransom heart boot camp or some other ministry similar or two of hours then we would love to have you join us working to be at treetop adventures and Lake Hickory which Sam they got some adventure coming up over there.

It's amazing to have the great courses they have laid out. It's a beautiful setting. So there's fishing all those kinds of things. Many of those water boot things you have to water 20 feet. 30 feet whatever it is you could go flying on the water, but so if you have a heart for adventure. We got the ropes course, that's unbelievable.

You can go supplying across Lake Hickory or you can go on the ski boots but you know if you've heard the talk on the wound you're going go advanced on the wound. If you've heard the talk of walking with Jesus were to go advanced on those things and advanced quiet times asking to be really good.

It's it's a great setting it's it's very very beautiful location. I don't know you can do the Waterbury Trevi. Of course I want to do both, and insurance up first before you buy insurance on the safe, and I'm surprised there are catches up on where we been the last couple weeks and where were going today will we been talking about, habitual sin, addiction, habitual sin, whatever you want to call it. Perhaps compulsive behavior. If you will, and so last week as we finish the show. I cannot shared an experience that I had when I was a young preacher and found myself battling pornography again, something that had plagued me from the time I was five, six, seven years old and sexually abused.

During that time and exposed to pornography and just, you know, my mind was very messed up in an obviously by young adulthood and going through seminary and different things like that all of the sudden there's new responsibilities and new understanding of what sin is where you know it didn't necessarily understand what it was before. And here I find myself battling this addiction again and so one of the things that saved me literally was coming across David's 51st Psalm and and when I got to Psalm 51, 10 and 11 those verses really rocked my world because when I read David asked God, please do not remove me from your presence and don't take your Holy Spirit from me. The implication was are you kidding me really says that God hasn't done that yet and so you know David's not as lost as the day is long and and when I grappled with that. Then I finally figured out will maybe I'm not as dead as I think I am inside which kinda sets up the next jam sounded like a set up. This movie is my favorite because it's got everything swordplay giants adventure and what it has. At this point, like giants, Jim. That's my mullet. I'm down to 66 now but anyway this point in the clipper joy again. Wesley, our hero is mostly dead and I think that a lot of us can Abilify. With that in our journey with God. So let's hear what's happening. We don't hear from Wesley IS mostly dead – we sunny? Many miracles in my 65 I never wait for so little, except once, and I was a very noble cause and probably always your mate. I now I'll ask that he can talk local not so much just so happens that your friend had only mostly that is a big difference between mostly dead and all that. Mostly dead is slightly alive.

All dead now with all dead.

Usually only one thing that you can do is closer look for loose change in this formula because the sunny true love is the greatest thing in the wild, saffron, ice MLT lettuce and tomato sandwich with mutton is nice and lean an estimate is right is something I love that he distinctly said AA and as we all know to blaze means laugh. So mostly that's what you talk about is yeah and I'm sure our listeners as well is Sam and Robby and everybody else in studio Brian Andy and Jim are going got to do with anything. It doesn't really. It's just funny I like so no, seriously. When you find yourself in that's position if you're in that position right now there's there's something there, something that's been nagging you most of your life.

If you are at all a normal man and at some point or another. Whether it's now or later on in life. Or maybe it was a year or two ago. You literally feel hopeless and almost dead inside.

To be able to conquer it to do anything, and when you do that when you feel that way it doesn't take very long to start making agreements with the enemy.

Sam because he's constantly going to be saying you're dead in it. If you go watch the rest of the Princess bride. There are places in the movie where the enemy is reminding this guy that he's mostly dead and and so that being said, when we start agreeing well I'm I'm almost dead or I feel dead inside or there's really no hope there's there's no point in fighting anymore. I might as well give up.

Will those are all agreements and as we begin that process of making agreements were very close to being dead inside for me.

I I've always called it a diskette in this apathetic state.

I really never really recognizes mostly dead, although that is a very good description of it. I just don't care about anything and that's when the enemy can really come in because I'm just at the point where it's like what's really matter anymore yeah and in the next clip that were in a play comes from the movie Braveheart and it's been played probably a masculine journey at least once or 72 times in the past, but it but it's it's literally where Robert the Bruce is coming in to talk to his dad. He's been living mostly bit dead for a long time and somebody comes along who makes him feel a bit alive, and here's where the agreement comes in rebellion has begun, and William Wallace even embraces, I will gain English favor by condemning it smallest it is even have a night's any inspired year is to charge open fighters either, so maybe it's time to time I hear this. 17.

Robert Bruce this 16 before you post to London title because they didn't charge and this madness. William Wallace uncompromising manner easy to admire his courage so doesn't exactly they had been naked compromise and maximum no understand this Edward long shanks is the most ruthless king ever to sit in the throne of England.

None of us nothing discussion will remain Nestlé so the point. There is that Bruce's heart isn't dead yet, but he feels that way. He feels as if you know why am I living this life. Why, why do we keep doing the same things over and over again here is this person that can breathe life into Scotland and and you can you can hear it in his voice, breathe life, even into his own heart.

And yet the enemy is the voice of the father in this particular clip and he says no, no, no, yeah, go ahead, admire her if you'd like. If that makes you feel better, but compromise and so the enemy is always going to do that.

Especially when you are mostly dead. The enemies going to come in and say we hear you're almost dead anyway.

I mean, let's make a deal.

Wesley C. Robertson Bruce of movie here than the clip. One arrives up he wants to step into something greater than him. He wants to go from a small story to the large story in the enemy comes in and reminds them of duty and obligation all these things are so much bigger than him than putting that weight right back on his shoulders, which is this really crushing his heart and in the enemy does the same thing to us. So you start to try to get some freedom in your life from whatever that is. That's plaguing you and as soon as you do, you're going to hear the good advice of others. It may be Satan himself. It may be a friend that says come on go out and you know let's go to the place just one more time. Whatever the case may be, it's in your own mind will talk about it after we get back in the break to check out of boot camp asking journey radio.org go sign up now for the fall or Salmon mask my son Eli talk about ways you can help support really smiled at. It was on the information that Facebook.com where you can click the button tweaking it a masculine day once again, PO Box 552 7285. It's a masculine journey fans can advance freedom advanced healing advanced walk with Jesus you've attended two or more masculine journey boot camp for ransom camp then you this talk about this campus is treetop ventures on like putting aquatics guide be flying on water coming up this 17 through 19 masculine journey radio.org and register today.

Welcome back to mask Internet welcome us back there was to rub it so it's what about six weeks until advancement. Yeah, it's like boot camp EBV time six so this you register right now for the advancement camp. What's the criteria to go to advance boot camp again. If you have attended either to mask on journey radio boot camps are two other boot camp for ransom heart style boot camps. Then you qualify.

We would love for you to come in and go a little bit further into the adventure with Jesus and there's there's limited spots.

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We would it's gonna be a blast yeah and infamous, you guys out there. If you're like me can you wait to the last minute.

This is definitely something you don't want to wait to the last minute because it will fill up you know were very confident Guzman called us to do this and whether it's full or not. We know that he's going to be there and it's amazing part of thanks Ravi back to the show a little bit different for winter break were talking about Robert the Bruce in this making agreements and and how the enemy comes in and once it is really crush that thing is tries to rise up and do the right thing. Yet in the back story here is it again works were talking about Psalm 51 retired about David's sin with Bathsheba murdering Uriah is her husband. All of the ramifications of what happens there and if you go back and read second Samuel 11 and 12 and Psalm 32 you get the background story.

There and Psalm 32. David is very candid that his bones are crushing within him.

He feels dead inside. He he literally talks about physical pain he's describing depression guys. That's what he's describing and Andy before the show we were talking a little bit and you talked about when you were struggling with habitual sin that you do want to talk much that you didn't think you had much to offer now mean you really don't have something to say or you don't. You will be exposed.

You don't want to open up the last thing you want to do is to be honest and come forward so you don't talk there's two things that beat the heat. David showed up on this is praising God and tell him to get to others about God and you want to do those things whenever you're caught in that thing.

If you have integrity sometimes you know you you can kinda play the game and pose a little bit or whatever and honestly that even eat you up because you know that you're not in the position you expect this certain level of holiness and you know what the culture, whatever the things around you. You just you just feel yucky just feel you don't feel like you're close to God and that you really can express his love the way you should even in the midst of that and your agreements right right you know you're the only one that struggles with right right you know, people really knew this about you. I would abandon you all those things enemy and keeps on their kinda keep you down and that put us right and and quite frankly we've had a lot of evidence to that point in the past because you know we all learn as as youngsters you know when you make yourself vulnerable.

It's going to hurt if you're not careful it if you don't choose your friends well unfortunately I got I guess maybe that's what adolescence is all about is choosing bad friends and living to tell about it. I don't know but we've all been embarrassed. We've all made a mistake. We been the butt of the joke we've we've been the outcast, you know, whatever. And David definitely feels that an Robert the Bruce in the last clip is is you know he's trying to rise up as you said, his heart wants to, but he goes ahead and he buys into the agreement and that's what we do. Often we buy into the agreement and the agreement in this case means that he's going to betray a guy that is not really a friend yet but he wants to be his friend and and he wants to believe that this guy has the answers.

And so this next clip is post Robert the Bruce betraying William Wallace and Wallace's men on the battlefield as is between him and his father, yet it's conversation between him and his father when he comes back in and confronts his father about the bad advice that his father gave him a thank you face since greater than mine must have aligns with England to prevailing, and he achieved that he saved your family increased to time he looked, and discussion. Lines title those men. Alla nesting. Nothing in fight for me.

If it did not. I throw them off my mind and I stop their wives and the children. Those men who bled to ground red folk before fully Wallace and he fights for something that had to get whatever trader when I saw the battlefield and it's tearing me apart will manage all that he is heat. I will never be on the wrong side again and breaking agreements might not be that dramatic.

Sometimes I wish it were. I wished it were that dramatic to to to to pray a prayer to to have a conversation with a friend to sit down and and to be that adamant, I don't want to be on the wrong side again. I'm tired of this agreement that I made and I'm breaking this agreement, I'm not going to do that. Unfortunately, though breaking agreements usually looks a little bit like hard work on your knees done it.

Yeah that's there. There's deftly a mindset.

You have to have that similar to Robert the Bruce that this inner tenacity to interest not given again, but it only comes from the power from God above and see you go start with submitting to him. Obviously, and then letting him fill you with that power's death otherwise will be sustainable. You find yourself back in that habitual pattern again unless your you're going to God with it in keeping there with him and and versus is in essence the King of Scotland.

At this point and so the parallel for me is not that far because were talking about the King of Israel who feels about like Bruce on that day he he feels that the trail and he doesn't feel saved. He he does feel very lost and very dead inside but in verse 11 of of Psalm 51 he says. Don't cast me from your presence Lord and don't take your Holy Spirit from me and the key to that is the implication is God has not yet done that it feels like God's done it, but he hasn't. And then in verse 12 David says restore to me the joy of your salvation. He doesn't say restore salvation, he says restore to me the joy he can't enjoy it.

He can't. And that's what happens when you're living in habitual sin. You can enjoy your salvation. You can't enjoy the blessings of God and the grace that God is given you in so David is talking about that in in a very very cogent way and and then in verse 13 he says when you restore the joy of my salvation. Then I'll be able to teach transgressors your way. Those other people that if you listen to the last couple weeks.

Those other people that are breaking boundaries that are going past the boundaries God has intended for them so that sinners will turn back to you in, we titled this unit grace for the habitual center and and that's why the term that David uses here is the term literally that signifies some habitual sin. He's he's not talking about the little boy that just lied about chopping down the cherry tree.

He's talking about somebody who is a lifelong center or somebody who's caught up in it. Someone like him self. That's, that's his reference right now his point of reference is himself and this is been going on for months in his life. It had to have been going on. Nine.

10 months maybe a year because before this event happens there's no baby. And now that he's talking there's a baby already and so it had to of been going on for a period of time in then David talks about in verse 14 and 15 deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, and then he goes on to talk about the fact that God would you please open my lips, Lord, my mouth will declare your praise the terminology that David is using. There he is saying, much like Andy said a minute ago. I couldn't talk my mouth has been bound up.

I could not share your graces. I couldn't share your mercies.

I couldn't share your righteousness and I'm the king of Israel. I ought to be able to do that, but I've not been able to in the term that he uses there literally is Lord, if you will open my mouth. I will not be able to keep it shut again.

It's going to take somebody strong to do it because it's been in bondage.

It's been forcibly shut by my sin.

But you can open it and once you have opened it.

I'll never be able to keep it shut again. And if you go on and read the rest of the Psalm you you find out about a broken heart. The same word that that Isaiah uses a broken heart shall bar and then a contrite heart, which is the word that that contrite heart is different than broken heart, contrite heart is compressed shoved down laid flat, empty erect and so he saying this is the way my heart feels and this is all I have to offer you. Just my heart broken and collapsed as it is. This is what I have God, and thankfully this is what you're okay with and it's an amazing thing to think that no matter where you're at right now God can take whatever you've got.

You may feel dead inside, but God can take that and bring you back to life in a way that you won't be able to keep your mouth shut about his praises and one of things is you are talking to Aaron reading through the Scripture talks about the enemy comes to you and Rob steal and kill right for me it's always been that first line defense is joy. He knows that's what David prays for a praise for that joy.

So I encourage you to go out this week and see God made him stuckness, habitual sin, I know what it is.

Or maybe there's something else going on you're not quite sure go to him to go one of those things are Robin my joy joy that you give me the joy of walking with you every day is. Honestly, that's the first line of defense and you lose that man is so hard to hold anything else to go pray for that joy and prefer the opening of your eyes.

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