A Father's Poor Influence

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The masculine journey is filled with many twists and turns. So how do we keep from losing heart while trying to find a way life feels more like a losing battle and something worth dying for, grab your gear, request band of brothers will serve as the guys recall masculine journey masculine journey starts here now to the masculine journey radio show. If denies this voice it's for good reason. I'm Dennis and it's been a while guy since I've been here, but was put into duty today because some of our regular hitters here. Sam just had an operation what was there a few days in Iraq and Robby if you can imagine Robby Gilmore without a voice always have a voice problem and doesn't feel well has a cold so I'm here in this blessed to have the opportunity to be with you today, along with my brother Sandy and Harold and a new brother here.

Rodney is to so good to be with you guys today. Now I understand from last week that we were talking about father not so fast, so okay real quick like that. The guys been gone for a fixed monthly jumps in and am straight up straight and went on the easing back in my mind we put them on the hot Mike look at this guy. Well, I think that he begged and it's it's it's good to be here and I get a lot of experience these days doing this or that county helps me like a pro thank you for that. I don't know about that.

This a different deal, but were going to give it our best shot in the last week understand guys that you were talking about Father's Day and the positive influence that fathers can have on their children. I suppose and and and I hope every dad out there this listening had a great happy Father's Day.

I knew then I did Father's Day with a son-in-law and grandson. You can't beat that spent a day with them. Same as it was a blessing but were going to kinda take a look at the other side of that to because we know in our masculine journey experience that a father can have a negative influence on you.

Down the road to those father wounds can hurt. They can be difficult to to work through and I as we usually do. Were going to do it with clips are going to talk about some things and illustrate some things through our clips and Andy. The first one wants to kick us off and I was looking for clips today and I haven't seen this movie around of this clip and I thought it was really good. It was his call Father's Day as a matter fact and it was about a woman that had had a child and she got a couple friends to go look for a child and they were posing his and as the sons father and this is Robin Williams trying to do all kinds opposing of what it would be like to be that sons father and tell them about that and disappointed that the point is, it's more about being funny but it really is. Some fathers pose a lot of different ways then and how they actually come across to what their sons of they try to wear different hats and be this macho man or the soft man, whatever. But this is Robin Williams and Father's Day firm handshake's suppose you're wondering why her middle name was see me as many different poses were going on really yeah weave and advocate for them to let out what was good about it I think was a Connecticut hurt a couple poses in there that I don't think were expecting you have to see that clip, but one whom was I thought I heard Rocky and then I thought I heard Darth Vader in there, but neither one of them were actually really was president so that it was a good clip, though I wanted to hear. I'm your father Luke. That's what that's what I was here and said guys you know fathers with poses on what is your experience with Outlook. What does that what effect can that have on a child will one thing I thought was kind of just about what he picked out. There was somebody asked him to pose as somebody they're not for their own personal gain. I think that happens a lot were we ask other people to do something that we probably shouldn't be asking them to do to pose and do other things for our own personal gain. And that's what a lot of us come from because what happens is if you poses something and you like while I get some benefit because they like me when I pose, then you would like like a let down my guard and be my real self realizable quickly. Oh, they don't like that so the post was right back up that gets reinforced continually so that's the hard part is to never start posing in the first place. That's really heartless I think our society that's are looking for. We one thing in genuine. The fake 10 minute enough/not the forever person a lot of times and it really hurts us and I want happens and when I asked Harold about this. I wonder what happens when with those poses up you know, a lot of times you don't see an authentic father. You know she's poses a go on. I can remember my dad. He would and have great at all and waterways have a great daddy still living but those poses your confused about what is really that authentic dad and the effect it had on me was I found when I was getting older and it really was and when I started coming to boot camps and learn about this whole posing thing. I found that I did a lot of that you know because it it that's what I saw growing up I saw the cul-de-sac family were the pose was put out when we were out. I got the daddy came home sometimes and was upset about things and had that other and it wasn't like he wasn't being authentic and that I think that was something but it was just kind of confusing to know you know what's in whom I supposed to be in all this was one of things is me frog took a risk of lung that was one of the things that I was really concerned about with my boys that I wanted to be real with them.

So to me it was a conscious effort on my part, not the pose and I think that it worked well, at least in my case, but one of things that that I had in mind and_ahead and get it out there now is that there are negative influences that fathers can have that can actually turn out to be positives if you look at it the right way. I will illustrate that with the fact that my father had a problem with alcohol and so I grew up being determined that it would not be a problem for me and so forth. And you can see negatives and diffuse assume the positive that offsets it, then you're good to go make sense. I want to get into that a little bit deeper in a moment, but that I think the Andy you got another clip here. Liar, liar, clip and want to set that up for sale. We can talk about that little bit so this is don't remember all the character names but it's Jim Carrey's character. He has a problem telling the truth to this to everyone.

Actually, victim.

More importantly to assign in this this case, he says, is to be there for his birthday and enemies is really disappointing his son and it needs just trying to he continually has this problem when not been able to tell the truth in them to step up and be what he needs to be as a father. So this let the clip speak for itself.

Next time I know it's true today as Max was a good thing was that was a clip from liar liar. The bad thing was it was wrong clips that we even knew that a minute and 46 seconds strictly for your like positive. Don't let Leslie real clear right now and anything you want will lead you to okay talk about that so little back to the future, thing that we played in before the beginning that it all works out because really you get the picture. I think the very last part unite was at his birthday party and is dead men, and in his wish was for basically nobody to be there was like if dad wasn't there.

He didn't really want anybody to be there, but then you hear the first clip was really about when his dad finally got serious about telling the truth and actually came through for his son.

And I think that's where a lot of us can be. I remember my daughter growing up and I wasn't. There were times of mess I was. I was a pretty engaged father. There was times and I know that I wasn't. Maybe I told her that you know I would do something and didn't come through. I was tired or whatever. And I think those things as you're going through life you you you know the more I can still remember her mom given me a book just to be more engaged. I made a big difference in my life about how much to put her heart ahead of my own desires and is still not perfect God. But still, now you know given at the time that she needs from a father, not just from just the provider but somebody that actually goes after Horton helps her with life and stuff. Think you can begin to see more and more the need to to stay engaged with your kids and staff and to tell them the truth telling the truth pick up where we left off. On the other side of the break we have a cam coming up masculine journey boot camp coming up November 7 to the 10th I believe was the dates that I saw on that you can sign up now for that masculine journey radio.org you see all that info you podcast go back and listen. This is my son Eli talk about ways you can help support Lily smiled@isinformationthatfacebook.com where you can click the button tweaking it masculine box 552 7285 what God does journey radio close off each person is kind of chipped away at this feeling I was having to wait this mask. I was hiding behind never heard in just like me like I believe that was Harry Chapin. If I remember correctly in cats in the cradle. Welcome back to the masculine journey radio show were talking about fathers and the negative influence that they can have on us. Now there was there was a we view set that song clip before you absolutely never mentioned that it kinda gets overused but it is every time I've heard it, and so many different ways, but I think one of the things that's talking about how to talk about a negative being a positive. There, in a sense, was that the sun had grown up. My dad uses a chip off the old block that was the terminology used in my generation were shut your like a chip off the old block if you're doing like dad did when dad worked a lot of hours. Dad wasn't home a lot. Dad took care of a lot of things. He took care of the family in the process. You know my dad that I can remember going back to looking at some home movies when we were kids and I said why was Dan looking so tired. On Christmas morning and my mom said well you work two jobs at that time because he had three kids. He's in his early 20s, he had to work two jobs to support his family.

He was dead tired but he was also sitting there in the chair on Christmas morning watching us open up the present said there was a there was a negative in that over the years.

My dad sometimes was not around as much because he was working a lot, but a positive that came out of that was seen what it seemed.

It dad that took care of his family in terms of financially and in doing those things. So I don't know that you can't get mixed up with a little bit. Harold you were going to talk about. I think I will quick about the the influence that maybe you had a negative that turned into a positive mentioned that my dad had a negative that became positive for me. I need to do that.

I had a negative worked a lot of hours I only had one job but being a computer programmer and having to work a lot of nights and weekends. My oldest son really resented that as a consequence, he didn't have a job where he had to look at the clock or whatever. They went back to more of the old agrarian style, and he was huge all the time with his boys where's he felt like I didn't spend enough time with him. In my case I thought I was doing great.

You know where the tennis courts a lot where this somewhere that I'm going to your games, etc. so compared to the generation before me I was doing great, but not enough for him in the Hebrews.

Well it'd been said. He was born 200 years too late, but it can happen that way. I know with with my dad. I can have a resentment about that and I don't think I ever think the way that I looked it time with my daughter in particular was that that was always more important maybe even then the job sometimes in terms of where's my dad is strictly left a course.

Mom was home in those days and checked unit. She took care the three kids during the day. Dad was off working that generation that's what you did right. If you have any thoughts on this negative influence and maybe help it turns into a positive. In some ways, well I think were all going to disappoint the people closest to us sometime so we have to understand is it's never too late for redemption is never too late to stop your judgment especially harsh on yourself. Just tell your sorry and move on and go on and unfortunately do that quite a bit. My home life know my dad yeah there's places where he disappoint him, like you, Harold. There are some things that my father did that were poor. My mind number one was time with me. So I spent much more time with my kids. But then again, I think there's some things you know my kids will end up doing differently with their families when they get in because of things that I did poorly, that they saw and I think that's going to happen in the.

The biggest thing is relieved them to Christ. So they understand who Christ is and how important that is in her life and can they know as my son take the masculine journey and my daughter understand what her role is as a woman.

Also in Christ and the elders take that with them as I go down there future.

That's really not the easiest thing in these day and age to instill in your family with as many pressures as they have on them from the outside world for sure that we got another click here to set up this step the clip that was Rodney back to you. Yes, on the east of Eden. Clip this is kind were talking about. There is a little redemption in the end, is what we dizzy took two clips, one from Manila moving in one of the end and combine them together. And if you go online and look him up to go much better to get a bit of people and older people understand is to be and it's a very old classic movie. But what's happening here is you have a father who favors one son over the other. So in the clip you get those words there which don't get in the clip is the fighting between the sons and all the other riffraff is going on in the family that's leading up to things, but at the very end. There is a redemption. It's kind of hard to hear from the clip because of choice quiet but the nurse comes in the room you don't get to see here this in the clip and the son says get out yells at her and then the dancelike. I don't like that nurse in the sons like I don't like her either, and the father just whispers very lightly and then you hear the sun whispering to his wife is in the room. He wants me to take care of them so that redemption at the end that's estimates all look forward to. No matter where we are in a walk right now okay is take a listen made it is for you some money lost unless made things being futures as I sense working on price and skyhigh so as for you, it's all money lost unless business is Fiona. I may have played County will have to give it back to me. I made it for you down should have back who can.

You got it from British purchasing agency. I can give it back to the farm as you and I know that we pay to sense of how that stepchild. I signed my name always go out and some died and some live help us with the legs.

One will come back on tone think I could take out. Thank you for the thought.

I keep some I'd be happy if you give me something like something good. The angry son, if you present. Give me a good life. That's something I think and a lot there a lot in the clip. Yeah, there's a lot going on a family, you know, we can see in our own families may be of hopefully lesser degrees than what goes on the movies but it's it's a chance for redemption always are you willing to take it.

I think one of the and I'm not sure if I'm going to take a left turn here at the moment but I think one of the things that I think about often and I heard a sermon on this Sunday when I was with my family and church. Often times that that negative influence that we have from father. We have a problem with father God down the road because that's what were seeing and not this pastor made a couple points when he said you know. Please note when I go back to the Goodwill hunting clip that we've seen so many times he says it's not your fault and please know that it's not your fault and please know that you can't change an adult you know if that person was going to be that way.

Now we saw. If you've ever seen the movie. I can only imagine you saw with the father.

You know the Lord got to him. Over time, in the father changed but it can have I seen folks through down the road as adults.

There have a problem with this image of father God, who is who were talking about. Here's father God it and it's because of the negative influence they have. When they was a kit when they were a kid.

They can't see the difference. Or that's what they identify with and and where you go with that. Absolutely I think that's a great point.

I did attribute to my dad on Facebook pretty much said the same thing is that you know he was a perfect dad but I always knew I was loved and I have no problem identifying with the love of my heavenly father because of my earthly father in the sample and it is as we hear testimonies where that's not the case and people really get screwed up by poor father image influence and it said in this day like the Scripture that the this came to my heart that says then and he will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children in the hearts of the children, their fathers, so that I will not come and smite the land with the curse.

What I like about that would always Scripture scriptural name, but I just think it's poignant, and the fact that you know talks about and smite the land with the curse that comes about because of the broken relationships with cloning a father and a child and how he when he comes to restore that the curse will be absent because that's what the curses were we get those in a parent-child relationship screwed up and all too often on society were projecting from the earthly fathers to the heavenly father versus the heavenly father down to what the father figure should be on earth and we got that all screwed up all the time we do minutes and I think it really is because our first image of of that particular provider which is really where we created an image of God to function in that role. If you earthly version of that is messed up. It's really hard to understand that thought that heavenly one. Yes. Well I tell you it's we go around around about this and I am talking about negative but I can.

I was thinking about that Sunday when I saw my grandson Easton in his relationship with his dad in the message. Another part of that message was taking it from Romans eight poor Paul referred to God as the father and he was saying, you know, in the in the in the Jewish language there that that Abba really was, like dad that it was the really basic thing that basic need for a father dependent on your father for everything and I can see that in my grandson also. I can see the tremendous laughter that my son-in-law brings to his son. He lasting crap when he when he plays around with him. He last liked and imagine having a relationship like that with father God that we can be in the same place so welfare can take a lot of these negative influences in and let God that we all come to the Lord broken, but he can put the pieces back together make something positive out of it just like Harold were talking about with thanks for joining the masculine journey radio show today. Thanks for putting up with me guys refill at home today and everlasting God bless you and appreciate Log on to masculine journey radio.org find out about our upcoming boot camp this in the past. Podcasts of the show.

Have a great rest of the weekend will talk you soon