What do you want?

This is the Truth Network of every man his life doesn't usually feel that way. Jesus speaks of narrow gates and wide roads masculine journey is filled with many quests and journeys. So how do we keep from losing heart trying to find a way life feels more like a losing battle and something worth dying for, grab your gear, request band of brothers will serve as the guides recall masculine journey masculine journey starts here now masculine journey. We are very glad today. I'm so excited about being in the studio.

It seems like forever since I seen you guys and out. It's it's like old times.

It really is and were really really glad to have you there inspection of all times of Harold with this. So I was able to get the job before arriving at the store robberies that are there little bit normal.

You shall be without a joke about my historic show force.

I think we actually have the two shortest clips just about we've ever put Esther man and an historic from a standpoint of is not every Christian radio probe program that dares to go where no man we have, we actually have clips from a movie called Caddy shack which we never thought we conclude from and another one called rockstar Dennis Knight tells a little bit about the movie rockstar here in a minute and that you know you like, well, is it really wouldn't tie that into something God has to tell us how fun. Absolutely it's ears to hear the eyes to see. God finishes us from unexpected places thereof. Yet a great morning of love driving the other day where you get to see some beautiful country and spend some time with God. Yeah I and my daughter Christina. She her desire for years and years and years had been to go to Uganda on a mission trip and she picked up the social families are social children, so I drove to Atlanta with her very special time going through Asheville in the mountains and praying along the way. Listen to her talk about what her expectations were as she's going in these villages and in and help out these kids sauce and hung.

She going 10 days. This time it will be praying for you. Now imagine if you made that trip to the beautiful mountains and you didn't have your eyes open ears open much of a different trip that would've been right and instead get use that time for very very long guide to bless you through that evening. I think that those obese memories from my daughter that I cherish really forever that it gets taken to Atlantic in an airplane again after with a bunch people you know really brave from her standpoint 20 years old she doesn't know any of the other missionaries going so she went actually meet many of them until she gets to Amsterdam so here she is doesn't know us all getting on airplane flying to Amsterdam to meet people to go to Africa to work for Christ. I think it's disputable.

It's also beautiful. Got came after your heart for want. That's really deep in the things that you desire intricately. If this is absolutely the case yet know what you listeners know little bit about the topic today. Yeah so yesterday last week when we talk about what topic we want big Jim and I were walking down the hall and he said it was the topic next week and I said what you want because that's a great topic. He said it's it's a perfect topic and as he thought about it I recall the conversation once I had with Darren Cooney my nose and great friend of ministry. My founders of mastering journey radio so he was talking to me about the Christian car guy ministry and kinda where I foresee that going and I was like well you know I'm I'm up for whatever God has in mind. You know whatever God has planned for me. I'm probably good that in the years you're kidding me. It gives you said what would you do if you ask your kid what they wanted for Christmas and they said all dad, whatever is your will, you want to know. You know they they want that Xbox or whatever they want to be as you want to see the look on their face when they get what it is that you know that they were and what God wants not depose answer.

Not that you know Miss America you know I want world peace wants to know what you really want and so that's a fun adventure to go on from my point of view to really start to dig into your own heart to go.

Maybe I really really really have my heart set on some you know it, and begin exploring that and then share that with God to see if that's something that you know revs him up to it. I think you would we would talk about this topic. We we did a lot through Texas week in a InTEXT is it's it's efficient is not always effective in what we found even just in this topic. What do you want there were so many different layers of ways we could go over a couple of those today on this first topic of going to God with what we want. Seems so foreign and on-time to so far and what we heard growing up. And that is I think you are afraid were going to get the answer that Spalding does from grandpa here in the clip from Caddy shack milkshake. I want this where you really wanted that hamburger that's the shortest clipper think we've ever played actually but it makes a point Benitez went and packs a punch. Because in that your hearing the things that you know.

I can remember as a child hearing that they didn't thinking that God probably that was what he would tell me I would go to him with my wants are my desires and he will say you get this and you'll like it because I'm God and on the mighty Wizard of Oz. And that's the way it's going and I said yeah I think that clip really explains that in a different way that that's the way we see God the way a lot of us grew up seeing God in that kind of role where he would tell us that I'm in charge here and you get what and you like it. I'm embarrassed to say that it was in my 40s still and I was always afraid to pray for God's will is I was convinced I was immune Africa, I was convinced he was going to send me to Africa and I did, I would tell my Bible study a like to pray about topics you guys in the parade but I really shied away from you know God's will for my life.

For the longest time for those living in that paradigm you that that God was going to dictate exactly every step that I had to take you know it, and it it's kind of hard when you talk as a Christian because there is evidence where God says this is what you going to go do what he did that with David Davies yearly King. We didn't give them a plan. It was walking with God through the whole rest of the story that made David and his relationship close, not the fact that David became king, it's that they walked together that whole time right and so part of that is just a okay how much of my gun be engaged with God in this gazettes. Really, I think what is after May you have a click the render here in just a little bit. I'm excited. This clip Robby was confused.

I was confused when you explained it was really pretty cool. Yes, from a movie called rockstar.

They came out to about 18 years ago, probably Mark Wahlberg Jan Marky Mark and it was really about him wanting.

Having this dream of being a singer in a rock band and not long story short, he ends up. He ends up getting that dream fulfilled.

But in the in the clip set up. He's working a day job which a lot of musicians do is working the stage, fixing copiers is explained in the stuff in the sky and the guy asking if it's a mascara that he sees under Zion. He looks at him and says I'm in a band and then it goes to a acquire thing there but it really has to do with what his dreams were of being those dreams got fulfilled, but there was something on the other side of that that showed that maybe that wasn't quite what God would have in mind for him. We know we don't normally disregard and play the clip list of rules really will have to say there's a 4 million children play the cook and I can hear why God lay that on your heart because it's a really cool story. There is a clip from rockstar is as simple 1-2-3 procedure. Page 123 push this back on this letter.

Jan that will write access mascara all okay okay can follow the simple 1-2-3 123 testing. Thank you, thank you okay if you are like so here's the thing. What happened there. As we listen to culture club. There background from that was in the office by the way, so when I was a kid my mother swore up and down that I was either going to be a preacher or singer because it's all I redid I was either standing up, giving sermons or I was playing my little guitar singing pretty woman to the 45s that I had in a dream began to form in my heart of of singing a being a musician, I didn't find out until years later that there was something else that was kinda behind that so I cannot follow Dan and I would I would come close to it, but because those insecurities I had from the time I was a kid I was always kind of afraid to put myself out there and try something we be different. So I get to hang out with garage bands and I be a techie guy or roadie or whatever but I was afraid to get up and sing and I was asked to do that one time when they came over to our garage and I wouldn't do it so but this dream almost a fantasy lived in my heart for years.

It was like this is that the of this was the only thing I can imagine doing was singing. Little did I know until I was older that part of that was based on those insecurities that worldly desire for affirmation and being someone popular when I watched all these guys was like man the girls love these guys and are so popular in all this and that's all I could ever think of, so I'd I became musician I started playing semester instruments in them. I got to college, it went to radio because that would give me close, but I was always that other guy, never the guy that was that was out front and try to make a long story short, I was 35 years old before I ever got up and sang in front of anyone publicly. I was in the Winston-Salem Jaycees. They had this contest called Mr. Winston-Salem imparted was talent so I got the music and did the karaoke to my girl which I sang to my daughter.

It was like three at the time and I sang that song in all these people so all that affirmation came because it was like I am in. That sounds good. He's actually got a voice my story about that is kind of like what what's happening with him there and will have to continue it. Nearly I share my perspective when I met okay. It is advertising that speaking of things that you could go do right now.

I run this break is a masculine journey radio.org register for the upcoming November 7-10 is the amazing boot camp and it absolutely absolute are all amazing and it's because God's early this really cool things to go register now when we go to great my son Eli talk about ways you can help support Lily smiled@isinformationthatisfacebook.com where you can click button tweaking it masculine once again, PO Box 552 728 what God does journey radio closed off each person who spoke kind of chipped away at this feeling I was having to wait this mask. I was hiding behind. November radio.org register and you about that in the bad company song was was kind about Chronicle of having that dream and in having that dream fulfilled same thing happen to this character rockstar. We had all that and then sex drugs and rock 'n' roll was there, which is you and I know when folks grew up in the 70s that became very prevalent in the as as bad company.

Talk about the shooting star. The guy that had everything and then ended up dead before he was out of his 20s rockstar guy who got to be with this great band and then he got involved in that lifestyle and eventually just had to walk away from it and ended up singing in the small clubs in doing things that were much more which were which were much more profound than anything you did with this band and arenas in that Kino was the story for me because I think at the time that when you look at my story and how I ended up with some addiction issues and stuff like that. I often look back and think you know if God would given me that I probably been dead by the time I was 30 and I and I don't know if he would've given it to me anyhow because he probably wouldn't improved a lot of things I would've sang about an things I like, but he knew that there was, I had a heart for music and so the story I was telling was when I finally got up in front of people and sign and then about a year after that I joined a choir in a church in Winston-Salem and I started singing I told the choir director. The same thing. I've always wanted to sing, but I've never really done much of it. I'm not even sure if I sang tenor base or whatever is in in 10 years of being at that church.

The Lord really put that in my heart and before I left there I was doing solos and singing with other people that were musicians ended up doing some that Main St., Baptist and becoming a minister of music in a way which it was kinda tied and that preacher part of it and now I get to play contemporary Christian music everyday on the radio stations.

I'm thinking there's days when I look back and I think man I sure would love to have you know we always look back sometimes and we go, man I wish maybe this what happened or I would've love being Don Henley and just on one of those shows or something like that. But God sees the big picture and although mine is not a world shaking event. He never wanted that in the first place. For me, probably knowing that I couldn't really handle that. But he took that insecure little guy and he made something out of me that I could that I could share with others and it's a message from him and that's why I think God took that dream in and in my in my best times when I sit back and think, not thinking of you really gave me what I wanted you just gave it to me in a different way because you knew the way I was looking at was not the way that you wanted to see that happen.

That's a great point. When I first met you Dennis I remember your singing in the wear to church and had the contemporary service and I had a traditional service in your the traditional guy and everything showed up in the contemporary partner singing. I like what it can actually sing this part two is pretty cool because I could see your heart come alive, and it was really pretty evident got a blade that ministry on your heart, not even knowing you at the time he could to see it as you sang in so I can watch it from a distance before we knew each other, which is really cool. You bring up just an amazing point that in God gives us what we want when it's not how we see it, you know there's a lot of times that you know we wouldn't knowingly step in a certain direction.

But God takes us in that direction.

We end up in a place where we really wanted to be and there's also I think something else. I was thinking about in this the last thing I'll say about it was that the enemy will still try to work on that.

I mean there are times when I'm sitting back and I'm listening to something in it will be like hey you could've done this, or you could've done that. So we have to be very careful to guard that gift in the gift that God gave us understanding that he's using at the way he wanted to see me use it it that's the gift to the gave me and all of the stuff is just the enemy saying well you see your good enough to do this or you weren't too insecure to do that and as you Saul.

I mean, I still have nerve a little nervous when I get up and sing in front of people, but God gave me the ability to do that. I'm very blessed by the ill God is a God of choice right God gives us choice.

He gives us the ability to choose. You know, and you doesn't always stop us when were heading in a direction and we may think we know what we want. Sometimes God lets us kinda step into that arena and experience it. Harold ever had something like that happen. All you I thought that I was supposed to be the manager I wanted to make the decisions and rather than have somebody else might come. Mine were always better and I thought that I had characteristics that hoped might be the manager analytic education desire what I neglected was the fact that I want a people manager. I finally got a manager position in stock. I got to go back into the application development where I could excel and be happy. God gave me what I needed. Not what I wanted. That was actually the second time for me.

First time was when I thought I was going be a fighter pilot in the Navy and he sent my sweetheart to me that said no you can't go in the Navy. Best thing that could happen is there's times that God will rise up in those things that we didn't know we wanted it knows well you know for me I always had a fear of public speaking.

I didn't want to get up and talk in front of people and assured on the station before soccer through the whole story, but God really brought out in me through a series of times or he had fun with me actually tricked me a little thing have you. I had to talk in front of people, but to the point where I realized I loved doing it.

You know something that the enemy and beat down in me so long that I was afraid of doing it.

We got it always laid it on my heart to do stuff like that so and we go to boot camp. The first couple boot camps and I to get up and talk. I was as nervous wracking. I'm surprised and have to wear like adult diapers or something to get through it making fun of people have to wear one thing I was that nervous. I thought is going to get sick or do something along those lines and and it was a it's just amazing how God will bring out things that you didn't even know you wanted in your heart for shipment talk and Sam are coming back from Atlanta. I listen to a great deal of Genesis and Exodus, Moses and all he wanted around out there in the desert. Essentially no for all these years most bushes burning right. He didn't know that his heart was burning to get his people freed out of the bondage of slavery. But although that was his heart's desire, and God shows up in the middle of the desert. He's lost at sea can be.

I'm enemy is not really lost. He knew it was you that the Bush it wasn't George anyway and and but yet he came to Moses with exactly what was burning in Moses his heart is let my people go absolutely throughout. Even relatively quiet. We kind of been all around this topic which God can laid on your heart. Why think it's always best for them quite its agreement with the enemy is really good things the what you want.

I mean, you think back as a child and you have all kinds a little things that come up that you want. I was always and still am the person. It's like hardly anybody will know I want to come out the unit. You have to really seek and go deep in get to know me before you find out what I want is on does not generally tell you people find me very very frustrating.

My wife is very frustrated with the overall act like we were going.

I don't care where you are you know that kind of stuff and so God puts things in your heart so growing up all through email high school, college, young adult are so many things that I think I just missed out on because yeah one to go do those things but I didn't go pursue any one of them yells like so I'm just saying. For those that are out there that are like if you got something on your heart you just waiting all like we talked earlier only for God's will or this or that or if you just if you're not even know the faith in God just start to go after stuff and talk to God and pray to God because he will put things in your heart. So when I'm just lost a job on traveling to Charlotte for my next job very thankful. Lucky that I got that break because of who I was working in and with my job in Winston and that's when I find Dr. J.

Vernon McGee on the radio. One morning, because I always was in the NASCAR races of them in the car on Sunday. Driving around so happens the same channel turn on Dr. jaybird again in the morning and he starts putting things on my heart you know more dose to J. Vernon McGee and next thing you know I'm on fire for the word of God like also. This is what I've supposedly believed in all my life. They did know what I believe Dan and really started going deeper in a word I couldn't get enough of it in your craving it and then things start unraveling in my life that I'm just like what's going on something small like all. Let's go see what my wife was like real estate investing and want to flip houses. She's loves to do interior decorating do all kinds of wonderful things and I'm like we go to this thing and then yeah let's kinda go all in. I'm seeing all kinds of things we can do, not just for ourselves but inside a real estate do stuff for others and that led me down a path were I eventually met a real estate agent that is also a traitor of stock sin futures in foreign currencies and do this kind of stuff and I was I've been doing that now for little over a year or two and learning about that and is just leaving me down a different path where, and I've done this way put some stuff out there were yeah why not try to make money for the church.

We got so many people that love the Lord that don't understand stocks in this natter, how to make money like a that is like the parable of the talents yeah are you Minas go use Omega for good come back and have more of them. That's what were to do and I'm just right now I'm just so drill them off in a direction I never ever thought I'd be in and I would've never planned this out for myself, but I'm just gonna go along with his plan and it's it stuff you not expect or think that one of the things we've all experienced the least. I guess I can only speak for me was I never realized the want and desire had for deep community. You know that we've all experienced. We did the last few shows on and on that last week with a few weeks before that was all that desire community.

I think if any of us would talk today. You know what would be a hearts desire what would be a want to continue to deepen that community it with a group of people we have that because God got teaches us so much through each other in and so I think that those are ones that kinda come alive as we go and I think the important part about is when you're when you're walking with God and only walk with him. But you gotta test the fruit of what's on your heart. What's the fruit of that revenue talked about honor and money and give it to the church Saturday night so we know what we want.

Sometimes that he molds that what's best for us and maybe could be best for others.

Right. Another way this could also say that is just check your motives. It was my motives. I want to be a rockstar persona have the girls that I wanted to get back and be honest with yourself is the honest answer is asking 30 radio.org to register for the upcoming boot camp November 7-10 begin messenger the radio.org I can say that the.org and we will listen to us next week and we hope you have a great week