Unexpected Change After Hours

This is the Truth Network and infringed very masculine journey after hours time to go to a more transparent, so sit back and masculine journey starts here welcome to after hours today is unexpected change were going to go deeper get more personal and hopefully show how Jesus and zip allowing these things in our life in order that we can get a better look at the person that he wants to work with and I love what you said is we are getting ready for the show. During that his desire is so much for that relationship between you and him. He is ready and willing and able to take away your kids, your why your job, your health, your whatever it takes. Well, so the context was I was explaining to a friend of mine, a booklet I will literally say probably saved my life and it was a book called shattered dreams by Larry crab and sigh would highly recommend that it is awesome. He recommended it to me on my dreams were shattered and and I read and so the whole point is God is willing to shatter your dreams.

The reason being is that he knows your heart better than you do. He knows what's really in there that deepest darkest spot in your heart were the brightest kernel is K. It may be down in there. It may be in a tiny piece with all the shards that have been broken in your heart, but he knows that it's there and he knows what it is and he knows you better than you do and so he is willing to take away anything that gets between you and that thing well for me. That thing was having a real relationship with him. He knew that's what I wanted more than anything in life, my addictions were looking for comfort look you looking for acceptance looking for some way to not be rejected looking to prove that I was man enough whatever all of those different things as having been a child who was sexually abused by two older male family members that were not in my direct, immediate for the immediate family but anyway those two guys didn't even really know each other very well and but both of them were pretty broken guys obviously in both of them sexually abused me at different points in times and so I began to have a scar of my own that sounded something like the common denominators you know these two guys don't even know each other so you must be the problem and and so Satan had put that scar on me and I wore it and so most of my life.

My pose my risk-taking, my prowess to date. Every girl I possibly could. All of that was in view of trying to hide that scar that you know there's something wrong with you and so it wasn't until I finally figured out that God was willing to take everything that I worshiped instead of him, or that I used as a comforter instead of him, or that I used as an excuse instead of a relationship with him. He was willing to take any of those things and all of those things he didn't yank them all out at once. Most of the time, but for me I'm kind of a thickheaded idiot. And so it did come to a point in time in my life where he did yank a lot all at the same time and and it almost killed me literally and but through that experience that unexpected change began to happen and it's still happening. Thankfully much better ways right this week talked about in a Peter and I had always change retouch about this in the broadcast. But all my goodness he sit there that might here come the Romans everything completely changes overnight. He actually gave the guy quite a scar on his head in velocity area. If it don't think that long going on the visit. I have a scar. However, you know, there was the beach, breakfast, then you know that that restoration and the intimacy between Peter and Jesus, when he was forgiven is something that can't but there was a scar and so we have a wonderful clip right Rodney only got a scar. Yeah. So go for well there's a movie called inglorious pastors and there's a big change right at the end of the movie that you just don't expect because if this is a movie that set a World War II and the characters on the American side are dropped in behind enemy lines in France and their whole mission is just to kill Nazis and its fictitious movie.

But what comes to his day end up capturing a bunch of Germans in a theater and Hitler happens assault at the last second. Even get him in there and they kill these German leaders and they did this with the help of one of the German criminals played by Christoph waltz's name is Hans Landes and this officer gives up his own people, so that he could be saved is an always bad things.

He was kinda known as the Jew hunter that was his name in the movie and then he becomes this ruthless killer and then next thing you know he's going get off Scott free is going to head over to Nantucket. He's going to have a nice little cozy cottage house live out the good life in the United States because he made a deal with the German with the US generals well the guy was actually in charge and on the ground and was actually taken prisoner.

There doing this into the movie scene with a swap roles and now the German guys and become a prisoner of the US and he's made this deal that he get off and he made a deal for his buddy who gets shot you'll hear him get shot and then Brad Pitt decides you're going to have a permanent scar by the swastika on your forehead. And that's what you hear the screams of the variant sermon I'm officially surrendering myself over to you.

The tenant bring you present this about my math thing very much you've its cuff girls had advised back on. Is that really necessary slate appearances scale permit. I yesterday made ideal negative about him.

They need you now think so more acute out. I've been chewed out for you know you miss myself heard at deal you made with the brass in the war not make ideal about you you that you make ideal. I think that if I don't blame you. Good deal in a pretty little misty for the for yourself. Well, if you're willing to barbecued all high command.

I suppose that's were certain considerations, but I do have one question you get your little place on Nantucket Island as you want take off that handsome looking SS uniform yours H is what I thought that I can apply. How about you. You've its commute about it, not one that said I'm the time away you wear a uniform for the rest I'm wearing practical makes employee, I have to take so give you the sum you can't take it. She says swastika that was being carved into the man's head shorts moving it to say that whatever folds radio and everyone you know.

But the interesting thing about our scars is as I have been thinking about this like oh my goodness, Andy Honeycutt is a good friend of ministries them a studio this last time I saw Andy that I remember was it a marriage retreat and at that marriage retreat. I had recently Jesus come in to work with my addiction to pornography. However, in an that's a fairly long story had a pretty good scar that went with it, but I'd been hiding those scars for years and years and you know as soon as Jesus helped me work through all that needed to be done.

Break in agreements.

All these things I was doing.

As result of of an incident that happened was such a base of my life early on it was like you need to tell your wife you need to shower the scar. She didn't want to know. She didn't want to and I really didn't want to tell her because many times she told me like if she would hear about you know should we saw the movie fireproof together, you can bet that was a real many slapper together to do with your life for sure is that if I learn that you are doing something like that. I would divorce you in this I would never put up with somebody would do that you and I heard all these things and I was completely convinced it would be the end of my marriage. But God said no when the time comes, you gotta tell her so those are familiar with our boot camp have this thing called the covenant of silence.

Well, I don't know what rockets of joy coveted in silence but I think it might be this gentleman sitting next to me of you know where this marriage retreat. I'm not that smart. It was probably the Holy Spirit in their like okay we will have a joint covenant of silence and on this and we want to take to God something that you've never told your mate… Couldn't be a week and maybe it might've been for five days after this incident between me and Jesus and all the sudden here I am in a marriage retreat with a covenant silence. I've got ago. Tell her something that I've never ever dreamed whatever happened and talk about a broken heart.

Now it's me inflicting that's what it feels like all it was. It was like and and and and oh by the way, that swastika still on my forehead. Every time my wife looks at me and I know it. However, in this is a gigantic, however, and don't try this at the home of this yet going to say but oh my goodness to actually be forgiven for the person you really are to actually be loved. So when when she tells you now Robby Gilmore you're a good man. I love you.

I can you hear it better than you could hear it all and member known that I and in the in fact it's there's there's no comparison to the intimacy because before always knew that she didn't know the real one, but if you think that she doesn't still catch me and stupid human tricks all the time. You know the but it awakened something up in me that every time that happens, I went and how you know I left the toilet seat up in our whenever she still loves me it in others like wow there's there.

It's a beautiful thing that Jesus knows all that stuff. But you gotta get real with him and a lot of times he throws all this change in our lives so that we can get a look at it right.

Yes he does.

And it's not that I was so happy when you took the microphone away from him back over to Rodney's I've been thinking of a few things in my life and it almost gets back to my name James is a form of the article, the deceiver this a planter. I was such a good liar such a good poser I found is that very few caught me in it that you and Isaac know me well and it occurred to me with that clip that there is a lot of freedom and having that swastika carved on your head and you sort of intimated that a minute ago when I was a rescuer.

I wanted to save everybody from everything and to those out and ended up in at least emotional affairs with Proverbs 7 women that I was trying to help and it and now I am in a position where I'm helping a guy that's the same guy was back. They had and I want to slap, get over it. You don't want anything to do with her and you is so much bye-bye because he hasn't had any physical hybrid held hands.

I think that that level of intimacy is so much more wounding for life than if you had sex, it didn't mean anything and I didn't know that then.

But it's at its broken hip, his marriage, and a the is fighting pursuing her and he's at the point where nothing know that's that's his focus and love plates that came up tonight and God told him two days ago that God is in the business of tearing down idols and an idol is anything we put before the relationship we have with him and me a lot of minds, being a rescuer sounds like a good thing. It's terrible. He's the only rescuer that can be in our lives.

I've been re-I read a book few years ago called pendulum and it's it's a great book.

It's about the 80 year swing that we see in our society were coming to the end of a meeting cycle and 80 year recycle in 2023 and were going into a full-fledged recycling. It's really cool and it's and it's backed up by biblical history. You can read through the Scriptures and see this happening. Awesome book, one of the things that the author said the other day with regard to that is that we often like in the early 80s the whole world was idolizing posers K Michael Jackson poser. The village people posers kiss posers in owning all of these people that that make up their life way outside of the balance right and so were now moving to the more authentic style of music that people like and that sort of thing, but this whole idea that God is in the business of tearing down idols, but one of the things that he talks about in this is that it's not necessarily between one bad thing and one good thing that the definition of duality is to good things, justice and mercy but you can only choose one, so sometimes you have to choose justice over mercy or mercy over justice and God's the only one that can total totally deal with justice and mercy. Simultaneously, we as human beings struggle with that and so we had this duality in our life.

Is it a bad thing to to help somebody took to try to rescue somebody know it's not but what's the better thing and so choosing better over best you know is is hard for us as human beings. And so we get struggling as we do that, and Satan comes along and helps us interpret the things that we see in life, rescuing someone do I give good counsel to others, but I don't take it myself. Do I devote my most of my energy in helping others is that outside of my family, or is that with my own children are or my wife neither one of those are bad things, but you can often get put in a situation where God has to redirect us and often this change that were talking about is not necessarily because work in some horrible sin. It could be that were just not prepared or are capable of handling best over better better over best to know we don't trust him to give us the best we know what's best. God bless. That's been my biggest falls into Morgan with Ransom Hartwig and Heather morning is not area with his new book and overcoming Kingston at at any has a storied semi audiobook I don't think it's in the other book about up a man. It was huge in ministry and well known throughout the world for this unbelievable ministry and had a funeral, and his son was there and he says to some of his friends.

He said wow that sounded like a great man and all that was really all his people speak in his family sounded like a great man, but that wasn't the data I need and you know there are you there you have it in out there you have it with your own kids like right now you're the Christian car guy you talk about email road rage or whatever but you know my own kids often hold up the mirror and there like that.

It is no other forget one time I got kicked out of a basketball game that my son was in that's happened to you to and you know yeah yeah he can preach a good message right but this is life measure up to that message and you know are you willing to let the people in your life reflect back to you that which God's trying to get your attention and you know that you know that the legends are and I remember the time dad got kicked out. And remember that you know they all have this the right.

That's actually precious.

It's very humiliating and it's a big swastika on my forehead but it's it's extremely precious that I still have my kids around at least close enough to tell me in order poser I am or as Angel shows about things. Today is just that you posed better then so well you are so unexpected change what we do with it. How do we handle it mean that that would be kinda, my question is so honestly when this major change happened in my life I wanted to give up. I wanted to quit. I gave up ministry that the church that I was ministering at the time said you can continue to be our minister and I was like are you kidding me.

I knew me well enough to know when and you know and in they meant well. They were sweet people, but I believe if I had accepted that that would've been falling into Satan's hands yet again.

Because you you have to keep up the pose and so there was the freedom of I'm not a pastor I'm not.

I'm not a minister anymore. I'm I'm just Darren now and I could be real with people. It's so hard to watch younger men that that I do life with and I see the pose no in my in my grandson and in some of you know my sons friends and in different people and and all of the younger men that are in my life and I you know you see the pose and those I mean all of us are pretty old guys here in the room you mean none of us are, you know, like spring chickens and so it comes out so much easier now that we can see all okay.

He's in know he's talking about. So he's trying to pose so we can give a guy grace in that situation and I say all that to say this, I think that God is, that same way with us. He knows okay.

Darren's kicking and screaming yeah he's he's a three-year-old. Right now he just wants his popsicle back but how am I going to in grace and mercy and justice.

Mixing all three of those things together how my going to help him through this so how do we respond I think I know how God does. But we got for people listen surrounding back to your topic and I got a rock your world. One time, and I think that the answers inside of that story will when I grew up in inch going to church. I thought I was a believer in Jesus Christ and was going to heaven. And all this kind of good stuff but then as I finally had somebody actually under that understood Scripture teach me Scripture and have to be Dr. J. Vernon McGee through his radio program and I'm just like, listen to this guy.

The very first time ever had on the radio just for half an hour show and Mike all that was so good. I like getting back on what I find it again enemies on the 530 in the morning on my drive to work. I'm driving from. Listen to Charlotte my story, will how can I find this guy you know and so all I really days of podcasts and streaming. Yeah, I do a neck this is I think it was already out there. I just didn't know about it and let me know how to get it and I like some listening and I'm only listening basin on Monday mornings when I'm driving down there for the anchors a few days where I was driving early on all all the labor then I've had a place to stay down there and subtly drive down early morning and find no other shelter talked about all you can listen to us on the podcasts and here's our website. No, I go there and I can listen I can get on the phone and then I might listing every day as I'm driving and you know is just as hunger and thirst comes that I didn't know I had. I had no idea I was not searching after God it was not going after him not try to get closer and the next thing you know my change been jerked into collar was tightened and I was choked and it was like oh my gosh that's what I need to bury. I need that breath of life, and it was just a big change in its like you say some of the poses are coming off.

Still a lot of Americans. He hasn't been as cruel to me as he has been you dare. They're getting exposed here in their and enough of them are coming off work like I am actively working to try to find them, take them off and that's where getting the that prepared me to hear the masculine journey message as listen to the radio and then is like I gotta go to one of these blue cans, find out what actually goes on there to hear the stuff on the radio link to get you a little bit good but occult activity yeah you get local Titian. I willingly get full cultus. You know so I would agree to new camp not knowing really what to expect and then you find out okay. There is there is biblical principles and things of this nature there and there's this other sense of these movie themes and all this other stuff, but it's just the way the whole story comes together and starts to tie in something that you as a man go in and try to work through. You'll find that you're connected at one point to certain messages and not to others and then lift off and make it connected to another because something else comes up in your life and just ways God yes wholehearted man.

That's what he's after you know is you push harder into that. You know, as you begin to feel it. It's like oh my goodness it's worth, the payments were scars. It's worth all those things, July 16 through the 19th masculine journey.org and register