1220. Pleasing Christ at Home

Welcome to The Daily Platform, our program features sermons from chapel services at Bob Jones University in Greenville, South Carolina. Every day students are blessed by the preaching and teaching of the Bible from the University Chapel platform today on a daily platform were finishing a study series entitled seeking things above, which is a study of the book of Colossians. If you would like to follow along in the study booklet you can order a printed copy from the Bob Jim store website shop.BJ you.edu. Let's listen to today's message from chapter 3 verses 18 through 21, which tells wives to submit to their husbands husbands to love their wives and children to obey their parents. Today's message is titled pleasing Christ at home were looking this morning and Colossians chapter 3 verses 18 through 21 now one of these days I'm sure most of you are going to purchase a home.

You're gonna buy a house, probably the biggest purchase you will ever make in your life when you buy a home. You have to understand that becoming a homeowner means that there will be constant maintenance and upkeep that is fixing and improving your home is just what homeowners should do in many ways this is also true when you establish a home through marriage and when you establish a family through having children.

There are many of you sitting here who in the next year you're going to enter into marriage and then actually there's many of you sitting here in the next couple years will be having children you'll be having a family and yet to build a solid home a solid family.

It demands the constant process of improvement and maintenance of my messages morning is entitled, home improvement, as we look at this passage of Scripture in Colossians 3 where Paul is writing the church and essentially he's addressing the responsibilities and the roles of individuals in the family. Let's look at that this morning as we read beginning in verse 18 Paul addresses each individual and families as wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

Children obey your parents in all things for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger. Lastly, be discouraged as we read this passage of Scripture. I'd like to try to ask and answer four questions that the message this morning. The first question is this.

Are these commands that we just read sufficient to build a Christian family. If you think about it this way in the first generation of the church where Paul win and establish local churches.

There were no Christian families. How many of you grew up in a family where your parents either one or both of your parents were Christians. Raise your hand. Okay, that's the vast percentage of you. How many of you grew up where you are educated in either a Christian school or home school setting where you were taught the Bible or our biblical worldview and education. Raise your hand. Okay well if we look at the book of Colossians. Nobody had that experience. So here's the question and that is this what Paul wrote here doesn't really say much.

I mean if you were to walk into a Christian bookstore and go into the section on Christian homes and families and how many books would there be how big would the books be so the question is is this sufficient to build a Christian home.

Secondly does a Christian view of the family destroy the quality of the individual. In other words, when you read this, it appears like that why and the child are put in at least in some people's minds, a place of inferiority and even vulnerability then here's the third question. Do these commands create a cultural conflict. I mean, let's be honest, the idea of a wife being seven missive is really not that popular. Fact is, if you want to make people mad preach about what the Bible says we should be like at home and people get really really upset. Does the definition of a biblical family.

For example, conflict with those who are proponents of a nontraditional family life, such as a gay marriage or raising children in a gay family what we hear today.

So the question is, do these commands create a cultural conflict in the number three who is ultimately responsible for the family and as we look at the Scriptures today. I think it becomes very clear who is responsible. Now, as we look at this passage of Scripture, we need to look at it through a particular land and that is we need to look at it through the lens of our salvation. Because what's going on in Colossians. He's teaching believers Christian people how to live out their faith. He's told us to seek things that are above he has told us to put off the old Mannings told us to put on the new man. Why because we have a new identity in our new identity touches every area of our life, especially our family. So what we see here in this passage of Scripture is how a Christian family should look or should operate under the authority of Jesus Christ. You could say this is a biblical worldview of the family. So Paul lays out very clear responsibilities and very clear roles there very direct.

So let's take them as the apostle Paul gives them so let's look at the four individuals he he speaks and what their roles and responsibilities are. First of all, he speaks to the lives he's as wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. The word submit here means to subject yourself is the idea of a ranking. For example, a needle in the military, especially if you come in as a noncommissioned officer you know you're right your private or in E1 if you go into the military as an officer you start out as a second lieutenant, then you work your way up to first Lieut. took To do major Lieut. Col. Carl and then there's four different grades of general so you have a Lieut. Gen. Maj. Gen. so you there are different ranking systems. It's the idea of the word submit is also referring to the government where we as citizens are required to be obedient to the government. So it's very clear that Paul's approach is to address first of all, the one who is to place themselves in a subordinate role. So here's the question when it says wives submit yourself to do your own husband. Is this a denial of the equality of believers before the Lord are not women being the Lord, Lord, by this command does Paul not already speak about the quality of all believers. For example, Galatians 328 there is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female.

You are all one in Christ Jesus.

In other words, the Scripture is very clear that there is any quality with male and female before the Lord. Colossians 311 where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision or on circumcision barbarians at the end bond or free but Christ is all and he is in all. So it is very clear that Paul places no distinction between men and women and their relationship with God, they're all equally equally one, so why would he say to the wife submit yourself to your own husband.

Well, it's all about function and we talked about function.

I want to say three things number one God has established functional orders and how do we know that because we have the example of the Trinity, the father the son and the Holy Spirit, we all believe that there is one God who manifests himself in three persons, and those three persons are coequal. The father is equal to the sun. The sun to the spirit and the spirit to the father and the son. However, we also know that within the Trinity. There is a functional where one person in the Trinity submits himself to another person in the in the Trinity in order to accomplish God's purposes. For example, it's very clear that Jesus is equal to the father. He said I am my father are one, but we know that when Jesus came into the world. He said that he came to submit himself to his father's will. He said I can do nothing of myself. I do what my father wants me to do and Jesus submitted to his father in the fulfillment of the plan of redemption.

Likewise, the Holy Spirit functions in submission to the father's sovereign will and working in the hearts of those whom the father has chosen to be heir heirs of salvation, so we look in the Bible we see the Trinity is equal but there is also a submission and this submission has functional purposes. Likewise, we see it is true in the family listen to first Corinthians 11 three but I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the wife is her husband and the head of Christ is God in order for the family to function as a divine flowchart and order of responsibility and accountability. The duties of the subordinate are always place first. Why why why first and not and not husband the Bible doesn't really tell us exactly why but let me make a suggestion and that is when there is no submission. In other words, when there's rebellion everything falls apart so it really takes the one who is to be submissive to be functioning before God in order for things to work. So there is a quality by submission in order for the family to function. Then there's a second thing I want to say and that is this submission is always voluntary. You see the word submit here is written, and what we call the present middle and what that means is itself voluntary submission in advancing contract.

In contrast to children who it says children obey that's in the present, active, and that means it's not an option. So when a woman comes to get married to a man she is coming with with a sense of a willingness a voluntary submission. In other words, she doesn't come kicking and screaming, but rather joyfully and willingly submissive to him. I mean where in the season of engagement. Some of you got engaged over the weekend. I know I have Instagram and you know I never I never see a girl get engaged and get a ring on her finger and she walks around thinking. Good night.

I got a submit myself to this jerk. The rest of my life. I mean that's not what's going on. There's a joyfulness there's a happiness and an understanding what's going own in your life and so here's what Paul was saying he is saying that both the husband and the wife have mutual responsibilities is not superior and inferior.

They're both equal.

The husband has commands to obey just like the wife has commands to obey, so this is a voluntary submission and then one other thing I want to say about this and that is this submission is ultimately to the it says here this is bidding this is proper.

This is the Lord's will, but also want to say that it is clear that the wife's submission will never require her to disobey God by obeying her husband.

That's not fitting in the Lord. I can tell you after 40 years of marriage to my dear precious wife if I told her to do something that was against the Lord and she would say to me, go jump in a lake.

I can tell you that I I firmly believe that because we are both to be submissive to the Lord.

So first of all, it speaks to the wife the notice. Secondly, the husband husbands, love your wives and be not bitter against them.

That's very interesting that you commands you number one it says to love your wives well. This was actually on. I command in Paul's day, because in Paul's day. In ancient times it was widespread believed among the Greeks and the Jews that wives were to submit, but there was no code in the ancient world, requiring the husbands to love their wives biblical Christianity exemplifies how to live our life in our relationship with Jesus and Jesus is the head of the church that we are his body. He is the bridegroom and we are the bride and why do we want to follow him because we know he loves us and nothing shall separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus. And so in love in the Bible is the atmosphere the attitude and the action that the husband is to show towards his wife is a self giving love modeled by Jesus.

Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and after 40 years of marriage, I can say this that I that that verse comes back to me over and over and over because it requires of me as a man to do something that is not natural and that is to think about somebody else. Ladies, if you have not figured it out.

Men like themselves. And so for them to invest their lives in serving and loving you. This is this is what Christianity is all about.

So the husband is to love the wife to meet her needs and to show her the greatest respect, there's a second command and it says be not bitter or angry or harsh with them. Don't become if you could send this way soured toward your wife. Don't become mean toward your wife.

So the question would be what would cause a husband to become sour in his relationship with his wife and basically it comes down to this and that is if I can see this way, a woman's greatest fear towards her husband is that he would abandon her. He would leave her an abandonment is not divorce or leaving for another woman.

It could be simple is as the job becomes more important than her because I can tell you this, when you start dating and you get engaged that girl is all important to that guy. How do I know that because he thinks about all the time. He buys her roses. He does this, you know, you guys you guys your engagements to me are are kind of interesting because I'm definitely from a different generation you guys talk about getting engaged like for four or five months knowing it's gonna happen your artist you've already planned out your marriage. You had to got engaged in the whole idea is to surprise you what I can you be surprised you know it's gonna happen, but it's all about the moment. Okay, I get that my generation, which is different. We didn't talk about marriage which is asking got married. I mean it was it was it was a little simpler. Not as complicated but what happens is when you went when you date each other when you when you get engaged. You're focused on one another cut. You like each other. Nothing you don't love each other but you like each other. You like each other like you like hamburgers and hotdogs and in cotton candy and and in football I mean you like each other but after you get married you discover things about each other. You don't like it. I think very long marriage to find out there things about each of you don't like at all.

In fact, is what you find out about them is that's been their habit all their life and now you gotta live with this and often times men begin to put their attention and other things.

Their job their sports and that becomes their focal point and the woman begins to feel abandoned and what is she do she begins to if I could save nag him because he's not paying attention to her. And so, what's the response of the husband. The husband's greatest fear in marriage is that his wife will embarrass him. It's an embarrassment issue.

The man becomes disappointed, he has expectations that his wife does not live up to his ideals, his hopes, his ambitions, and it could be a lot of things he could be physical. I could be mentally to be emotionally could be financial it could be relational and how easy it is for the closest and most dearest relationship in your life to be destroyed over your disappointments. Every time a man points his finger at his wife to show things he doesn't like about her, he has to remember he has three fingers pointing back at himself. It took me 10 years of marriage to realize that my wife is really our mirror reflecting what it is that needs to change in my life. One of the things you learn about marriage is you can't change each other. That's called manipulation. You have to serve each other you to love each other and that's what the husbands to do. You don't win your wife by controlling hurt you when your wife by serving and so husbands if you find yourself being angry or upset. You are the problem, sir, and therefore you are to love her and that leads to the third command and that's to children notices his children obey your parents in all things for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. That's interesting to me that children are addressed as actually responsible people you wouldn't think that I mean the children their kids and yet the Lord speaks to you as a child as a young person and the responsibility here is that the child is to obey his parents by the way, the word obey their means to listen to comes out of the book of Deuteronomy chapter 6 in verse four we call it the Shema, which means to listen here oh Israel, the Lord our God is one Lord in the idea of listening is not separate from obeying listening and obeying are synonymous terms is an eager ear that listens with the intent to obey right away. It appears that Paul is addressing here. Children who are living at home under the protection and care and the provision of their parents and they are obligated to obey. Obey why it says that you are to obey in every thing that that's like what you where where you go where you can't go your time schedule your cell phone. Your friends are what you watch on television what music you listen to when the Bible says to obey your parents in all things, the word all means all factors in the book of Colossians. The word all is like mentioned over and over and over like we have all sufficiency in Jesus Christ is everything a child is to be submissive to his parents. That's the appropriate behavior in the Christian community and one of the great problems that were facing today especially even here Bob Jones is some of you have come here and you've grown up in an atmosphere were actually you didn't obey your parents you were dishonest you were deceitful you did things behind your back and your dog to walk on the campus of Bob Jones and suddenly Zach, your obedient and the problem actually is not. The problem is you. You are the problem.

Why, because you never really learn to be obedient when I got saved at 19 years old, God took me to the woodshed and dealt with me about some things in my life and one of them was my disobedience was my dad as I began to read read the Scripture. Even the even verse like this. Children obey your parents in the Lord.

I begin to realize that I had a lot of disobedience towards my dad, I realize I have bad attitudes about dad and I went back to my father and I asked his forgiveness.

I submitted myself to his authority.

At 19 years old and from that moment to the day that my dad passed away in 1997 we ought from that point forward. We had eight and raising wonderful relationship.

Some of you have problems with your parents and the problem is you are not obeying God's command you so okay I get it but I'm in college now understand that and there's there's an ongoing different relationship and you have to really move from one point from obedience to honor, but really you need to start with your own top heart and that is have you really honored your parents have you really saw to obey them, and the motivation behind this is that this is acceptable behavior to the Lord.

If you believe that you are obeying Jesus Christ and walking in disobedience to your parents, your living in deception.

This is what Paul says children obey. Then finally knows what he says of fathers fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged the command. Here's directed to the father is the one who is primarily responsible for the motivation of children. Here's what he is saying don't so irritate provoke your children that they lose their passion to please you. I believe God is put it in the heart of children to naturally want to please their parents, especially the father. I remember when I would come home from work and my two little girls, Rebecca and Rachel would meet me at the front door and and I can hear their scampering feet in the house as as my wife would say daddy's home daddy so and I would open the front door and my two little girls would be me there goat and you know what they wanted me to do come. Daddy let me show you what I did today. Now do you think I wanted to go see what the, the answer is no, but I would go into their bedroom.

I go in the living room and they show me what they did all day long. Go sweetheart you are so smart. This is so cool. Okay, those two little girls today are 38 and 36 years old.

They don't meet me at the front door and screen daddy's home. Listen to me very carefully.

They want the same approval and the same love and the same motivation today as they got when they were little girls. I'm so thankful for my father who many times told me that he was proud of me. One week before he died. My dad turned to me and he just sits on. I just want you know how proud I am of you. I want you know what that meant to me because it still touches my heart today. My dad's been gone a long time. What he saying his father's don't be absent. Don't be abusive.

Don't be apathetic, but understand God is giving you one of the greatest privileges and that is to motivate your children and wife to be able to go out and serve them become successful in becoming useful and these are the commands that Paul gave to the church of Colossians and is these are the commands that he gives to us today. May God help us to raise families that love the Lord and are faithful to God. Father, thank you for your word and thank you help us. The Lord love you and and raise our families to serve you in Jesus name, amen. You been listening to a sermon from the study series in the book of Colossians by Dr. Steve Pettit, president of Bob Jones University.

For more information on Dr. Pettit series, visit the Bob Jones University store website shop.BJ you.edu where you can get a copy of Steve's study booklet entitled seeking things above, that's SHOP.BJ you.edu. Thanks for listening and join us again next week as we study God's word together on The Daily Platform