14- Living Life Above the Line, Even in the Darkest Times

Brought to you by volume ICU research life can bring many difficult situations, domestic violence, addictions, poverty and even sexual abuse by your loved ones welcome, Amy, and the Q thanks for joining a two-online.DW.com and that you can down the 888 and the base we are like every Friday at 2 PM, May 6 18 later on will be opening up the lines to taking Congress.

If you have any questions or would like to share your personal stories. Bishop Mimi typically focuses on various topics, particularly in mental health trauma and treatment options. One of our most recent topics covered trauma and the horrific events affect study can have on a person in their family we talked about posttraumatic stress in the sentencing available treatment. I also wanted to create awareness and find different ways that we can help one another and I also get that by bringing on professionals, specialists in the field providing testimonials and looking for different ways that we can find a way to be cover because nobody's accent is suffering we can all suffer from one thing or the other that basically I started the shell because I wanted to share the way that I was able to overcome the things that I've been there. And some people find my life to be impressive. They believe that I've been to a lot of horrific events and not have to agree that what whether I knew it or not, God was always fair. I need and I'm here because he was because one way or the other whether I was aware of it or not, he was helping me one way or the other.

He showed me the way questioning the right person. It didn't matter how low I was, how down I was whether I was in a bad place, whether I was shaking, God was always there and I always paid and when you pray, you open up your eyes start seeing things in a different light in a positive light. You start to appreciate things you start to think differently and that's what you do when you get closer to God that you have to do more than you have to do your part, because what happens is when we go through troubles in life and especially if we been abused we tend to hate ourselves.

We tend to blame ourselves. We tend to stop hearing and maybe believe that were tested to suffer or that this was what was meant for us. We give up.

That's what happens when we are abused and if it's a very hard road. I know this one because I went to many many years. This then I realized that when I prayed and I felt closer to God. I also have to keep his loss. I also had to do the right thing. I also had to behave in the right way. I also have to treat others the right way. I also had to cheat people with unconditional love and I kinda got that idea because he one of the ways that God help me was pipetting my husband and my light is here with us today. I we do everything together and that was one of the ways that God has helped me to put my husband in my life and it's been many wonderful years that we've had together. That doesn't mean that we have challenges, but what do we do we overcome them, because we trust God.

But what do we do about feeling bad about ourselves, what do we do about her self image or self-esteem. We tried it had good behaviors.

We do things that make us part of ourselves and for some reason my marriage with Bobby lasted 18 years. I must've been doing something right, but I found someone that Putz this kind of behavior the be way that you should behave.

She puts it scientifically in a way that could be explained no better, so we have a special guest today are so and I have to tell you she's an admission to transform our economy landscape in South Florida by recent household income above the national average.

She believes that when business owners and their teens have their needs met. The most natural thing for human beings is to be of service and make the role of the better place for everyone. She's the co-owner and managing partner action coach business coaching Miami's firm top 10 coach in the US and top 100 coach globally, together with her husband, Doug. They run a top 20 global firm for over a decade.

She's a contributing author of the international best-selling book, better business better life better world.

Her new book legacy makers will be coming out in the second half of 2019 and its focus on the UN sustainable development goals and how businesses contribute to create a world that works for everyone when she's not speaking writing coaching, overrunning her firm. You can find jewelry doing poetry entertaining, enjoying the art pharmacy. Of course, without making a difference. Please welcome to the show.

Ms. Jody and Johnson thank you very much to be here with you and with your husband more hygienically. You know, one of my biggest believes in life was that if I wanted my second set stances to change. I had to start with myself and II cannot change anyone else that I can teach myself and I could start with myself and maybe set an example, but one of the things that I loved about you did hire you, and I was so grateful that you had become our business coach and one of the things that I loved that. I took home that I practiced so good even with my kids was that line above the line and below the line and let our audience a money number because you told us this business just working on the line alone made huge profits just by treating each other right while amazing UN extent that there is nobody that is literally and so I'll give the concept of negative authority of yours since you had mentioned a number that can or cannot illustrate the power of operating above the line. Yes. So for those of you who are listening in.

If you have a piece of paper. Great if you don't then you can think of this your mind to draw a line horizontal line across the middle of the page that line represents our ability to choose how were going to respond to the circumstances that life throws our way. We know that there are all kinds of circumstances, both good God, and some neutral and the way we respond to them has everything to do is the future outcome of that circumstance below the line we have first laying blaming the economy, blaming our bosses blaming our team blaming our client blaming our vendors blaming the banking industry blaming even sometimes ourselves blaming the weather beneath blaming the whether Lewis believed blame is excuses and were all pretty familiar with what that sounds like I wouldn't bet on time if it wasn't for the traffic and any other mire of examples of of excuses beneath that word we has denial and denial is typically you don't even know that you don't know was that in business business. It shows up as minimizing the impact of something that we do or something that we fail to do, and that impact is generally a lot larger than were willing to admit or to see so those are the kinds of things that we call below the line so those things can be used in the personal life right doesn't know this translates across across all kinds of circumstances, whether it's business, whether it's in your personal life.

Something that can be used for marriage, and I always stated. Those moments are the video sorry but I spilled coffee on the stick you spoke it with you stepping everywhere and I said you know my mom what's going on there sticky everywhere and I found Jody very go yeah this concept can translate across across our personal life. Our friendships are family relationships and are and obviously our business.

So this idea of below the line is, whenever, where, evaluating like what we say we want or the goals that we have and we haven't reached them. Typically there's either blame excuse or denial of that happening in that circumstance, and then we say that all the reasons why not and what the effect of the circumstances, the victim of those circumstances now above the line we have accountability responsibility and ownership responsibility is in the business realm. The job that you've been hired to do. Accountability is that we can count on you to actually perform… Do it do it well so you can be counted on ownership. On the other hand, comes from the heart. No operating above the line really takes something because below the line is habitual conditioned program, largely unconscious and inherited responses to life easy to operate a above the line. We need to make a conscious choice to come from that place so it doesn't create the result directly, it creates the condition in which results can happen here. We say that you are victorious over the circumstances because no matter what is going on as so many great philosophers and thought leaders said in the past, your attitude and you response is something you choose. Then it can make things better. No matter what, so operating above the line is a conscious choice to cause any decide which effect you want from the cause that you can also see the idea of a below the line. As I said, you largely inherited habitual unconscious and program responses to life is typically the response of the child. The above the line is the response of an adult how you engage the adult. When things are not going our way you do it through brain science with a question. The question engages the adult mind and start seeking an answer. So when we choose operate above the line we create the condition in which results can happen so the story that I mentioned at the onset of of this conversation has to do with the client to the chicken packaging company in Venezuela will know what's going on down in Venezuela and so the, the government took away his business and then he moved his family here to the states and bought a small company does finishes and fabrics for the interior design trade. He bought the company back during the recession for about 1/2 $1 million during the recession, he grew the company from 1/2 a million to a million.

The following year to 2 million, and the year after that to the four point during the recession. Million to 4 million from 1/2 a million to 4 million in three years. During the recession in 2008, nine and 10. So how do you do that no everybody was like how in the world did you get to do that when all of his customers are related to the real estate market which absolutely cry himself Florida and he said two things.

One, every day I worked on my business from eight in the morning to 10 AM, from 10 AM until 6 o'clock.

I was available to work in the business but from 8 to 10 he worked on things like his numbers or recruitment or a marketing campaign to 10 hours a week he worked on the business the rest of the time he was at the store. He worked in the business, serving clients and so on. The other thing he said was that he operated above the line.

He taught his team to operate above the line and both he and his team whenever they would slip below the line because were human beings and is going to happen. They would reset themselves by asking what can we take ownership accountability and responsibility for here that can shift the outcome and change our circumstance.

That is a great example of the cause-and-effect and genuine saying is extremely important that the way that we can guide our lives and live a better life because if he can better ourselves than we can better our environment we can.

There those around us, people will like you. You can then people might emulate you never know and there's always God. You have to realize because I believe God put in my husband's mind to hire you and now you are in this show, helping who knows his listening tons of people hopefully, so let IMEI of faith and press with you with your book and ill, particularly as I listen to the onset of radio show to bring God into and love into a conversation that has to do with business because baby 10 years ago five years ago even less people to talk about God or talk about love as it relates to the business world know those are conversations that would typically earn the realm of the personal, however I am crystal clear that I wouldn't be anywhere near where I am and I wouldn't even be close to where I am inside of the accomplishments that I've had were not for my own God and my relationship with my God I could not do what I do without my God.

That is why this is called the cheer and I'm your host and have elder listening to 80 that there is here is maybe I'm afraid so wife could bring many difficult situations, domestic violence, addictions, poverty and even sexual abuse by your loved ones. The issue is not stay there, but to overcome all obstacles and shouldered with the love of God, your husband and your family. You can succeed. Love is the answer. God is the key work reveals from a very sincere and honest position in Cabo's life, a warrior who didn't give up and achieve the dream of her life.

You can get to know more about her at her story on www.godisthekeyword.com or buying her book on Amazon.com. Now we continue with daily gobble in the two on 880 abuse so here I'm hosting a cattle on 880. So basically, or anything. People just basically people suffering different ways that we can overcome different ways that we can help one another and my ideas that well the only chair that I know a lot is God, but also we also have to help ourselves.

We have to do our part, we can't just expect things to happen and we have today. Jody and she put it in a scientific way in words I can explain that better. I use it in my own life when my husband doesn't or if he doesn't know if he gets it right is a good ownership that was three very accountable, responsible, and then we can encourage the get behaviors in this carriage nicely behaviors because we do become our environment. You can be the nicest person in the world, super, super innocent country and then you become your environment you become everyone else I say Dare to be different, be unique.

When aren't we all. Even though we are all equal under God's eyes were also off. It made very neatly what you are talking about Jody. I AB I regret that we had to get a commercial you are saying something that worries super interesting pleased to continue what I was being is that this point in my life with that of her accomplishments. I thought I wouldn't be here if it were not for the really so I have my God know I was raised Catholic and grew up in Catholic school.

Even all the way through to university an adult I somewhat got away from that and started my business. I was trying to do all of the things it takes to run a successful business on my own.

With the help of my husband and at one point a few years and I said you know what Doug I can't do this without my cut anymore and we started going back to church and to know to bring the relationship with God back into our lives at a much more full and much fuller way and I think that the that the times when the company took off was the times we were operating above the line and in relation with God and I am very grateful to have that kind of upbringing and to be able to have the relationship that I do have with my cause because people not by much. I love the very limited scope of of impact. It's just Jody. I believe that having God in your life just makes them doing the right thing matter because when you don't have to. Nothing matters just go down the wrong way and what happens if you abuse is that somehow you develop negative coping mechanisms may be because you hate yourself and then you get behaviors are negative and your way of thinking is negative and it's not something that you even doing on purpose, but you do get. It's a vicious cycle yourself even more for reacting badly for not doing enough for not being the person that you want to be and then when you really not alone. God loves you, then it's worth trying. It's worth giving it a try giving it a five because if nobody else cares – and what a nice incentive to know that one day you go to heaven. Hopefully, so maybe it's interesting what you are saying about you become your environment because there is a famous scientist Buckminster Fuller said he environment is stronger than the will, which is why it's so very important for us to manage the environment that were in to be an environment that can do respect to being accountable to integrity and so on and so the the idea of we become our environments gives a certain responsibility to craft that environment to be one consistent with what was building and what we are committed to so that that was very interesting. What we definitely do become our environment. It's very easy it really is very drug so is the meaning that we could not control the volatile we know what that means is that is where responsible for pulling the environment that we have so for instance know that the actual type.

The way we interact with one another in our in our families and businesses. The current culture that we are creating and operating through it's our job, particularly as leaders and as people of faith to create an environment conducive to what would committed to to love, to integrity and so on. We absolutely must environment and if oriented environment that's toxic or were in an environment that is is less than healthy to be able to take actions consistent with either transforming it or sometimes we need to remove ourselves slowly needs XML Harmony that's important harmony in our home and our work. I believe that.

Last and sometimes when they listen to songs that they guide you taken me from so far I know how far down I was. I know the life I live. I know it was super talk and I know how very, very, very blessed. I am I I really do. I think that I am extremely blessed because I'm happy to get alert and happy to go home and that's really all I wanted in life.

Simple things video I wanted in life and I have the right husband and he's perfect for me had the right children have the right friends. What more could someone want so you definitely have a husband who adores you and that is a gift. Your journey you just another way, help me Jody that Nat also I want you to let people know how I can get in touch with you in case they would like to do the same that one of the other way that you helped me was that has been loves to complement me.

I survivors. We don't take compliments very deadly tension, appellee. We believe that just people are being kind and one of the reasons why never let anybody know my past is because I didn't want them to be kind to me at a petting and also something very interesting that the loan through yours so you can find your potential in certain SKUs but you even sometimes don't think but sometimes you have exactly that I had a little self-esteem until I take a personality test and boy boy boy like that.

I know it's a big yes the work well. I okay so like a future therapy. No magic situation getting some type of person does to see what you can do wars well first explain to us what entails the personality test that the personality test hone that phrase in a little bit so the profile that we use with our business owners and their teams are are behavioral in nature. That is the disc profile. It very well known in use pretty extensively here and around the world.

Others may have heard of Myers-Briggs's are in the same type of realms and their behavioral profiles they measure, how are people going to behave in the workplace and how do they behave naturally when they're at home or when they are under a lot of stress, who were looking at those particular profile for behaviors consistent with particular role. We also look at what motivates people in the workplace are they motivated economically with some people are but believe it or not. There are seven different motivators including theoretical, which is the love of learning and the other ultra stick with love, helping, and there are four others the way you look at the strength finders which is Gallup assessment on what are the natural talents the natural wiring that you have that will born with. It can be developed into the realm of genius.

So the studies were initially from Gallup looking at high-performing individuals and high-performing teams and they were trying to identify what was common to decide if they could isolate what was common and everybody would have access to high performance during that research. They never found a single thing that everyone shared in common, like say discipline. But they did find was that people who had liable execution in being able to deliver at the highest levels of performance while working to a natural talent they had developed into a strength. At the same time they were looking at what a horse rules in our our corporations focus on another note, this happened to you, but it may have, it certainly happened to me and many others is a civil you're really good at this before you better work on this thing that you're not so good at that. Research found that no matter how much time, attention, energy and money is throw out a non-talent.

It will only ever improve about 10 to 15% guys, this is just a bunch of questions, simple questions. It doesn't take very long. You can just answer them really quickly and it says so much about you. Sorry Jody, I just wanted to say that to let them know that it's a computer question that you do on the computer and then email them the results and it's actually a chart that measures these in these areas that you talking about the ones that we use train merely wealth and talent dynamics and how will you naturally generate wealth where you had value and and also how to fascinate with you, Sally hug had work on how people perceive you and knows profile are things that we used to recruit talent to train and develop the talent once we bring them on and to make sure that people are fit for the walls that they have when it comes to us as individuals is also how can we best relate to the people in our world can tell you that when the wind always knew his business with my husband. I used to say will one you discussed cell like I do.

Not understanding that he isn't wired like I am. He didn't grow up the way I did. He doesn't have the same attributes that I have and so how in the world could he be like me. It was a ridiculous thing to be asking him to be somebody other than who he was so finding our our natural talent and then developing them is actually developing God's gift right it actually is.

You really think about it. It is following God's loss. It's kind of the same idea, just hit in today's language that you seem to be not just a business coach that a life coach and we come back, cease to give us information on how to get in touch with you. I think that a lot of people could benefit from knowing more about themselves maybe understanding one another. They might find out strength. They didn't know they had a lot of us don't give ourselves enough credit so that would be wonderful so you just to this is the cure. This is your hosting me Know you're listening to 880 that's here 880 the various and this is I'm yours doing me the job to do so hot that I mailed to do deprive them trying to get before the cool doing Ronaldo may give in the business is going to stop the divide into inventions of recognition and monitor to win so low and so will know all know and avoid you all you really love so we need to show is back which is to try to see his face in his entities and just go with the season we would aim to no more, no can avoid you to overcome all obstacles show with the love of God, your husband and your family.

You can succeed. Love is the answer. God is the key word reveals from a very sincere and honest position in Cabo's life, a warrior who didn't give up and achieve the dream of her life. You can get to know more about her at her story on www.godisthekeyword.com buying her book on Amazon.com and now we continue with daily gobble in the 218 80 thanks for joining us here hosting the U listening to 888 that there is be this show deals. If you just listening show deals. Basically, anything that you meant something from different testimonials and different ideas of how to get how to overcome it and how to help ourselves and today we have a special guest. Of course, we always have Boris today we have a special guest as we try to have a special guest. I love these ideas to the table and its Jody Jody, thank you for staying with us and you are talking about. We are talking about these tests that you also do on the computer. Besides being a life coach and getting them advise can you please tell us. For those you might be interested in knowing a little bit more about themselves by those who might want to learn how to about the line like I discovered how to avoid excuses. I know never to use an excuse as if I believe he really think about it. There's something so quickly.

We are a business coaching. People often ask me know you do. Life coaching and the answer is yes and no because we focus on business coaching, however, does your business impact your life personal. You bet and does your personal life impact your business. You bet the bulk of the time were working with someone it's on the business on cash flow on marketing and team, and so on him. However, from time to time things will come up in the personal well and course we have to deal with them when we start out with a with a client. We I wouldn't dream of working with the client in less I know their profiles because I might be taking you to Paris. Meanwhile, you need to go to and if I'm not there then you're going to go back to the way that you normally operated but if were working towards taking you where you will naturally excel and do well then we get the best possible outcome. So that's how we use the profiles and also recruitment. So yes, it's super important to know what our natural talents are so that we can thrive out of the world and be the biggest contribution we can be.

You can reach us at action ACT ON coach CO ACH team PAM and Sage SAGE. So action could steam stage.com that site. The phone number to call in at 305-285-9264 and my extension is 301305264 to the wrong side 305-285-9264 and my extension is 301 and then you also were on Facebook and LinkedIn fill in all of the usual social media platforms, so that's how you can find us. Thank you Johnny. I think it's going to try to live your life like that because ownership is such a beautiful thing. When somebody says I understand work on that. I go says I'm sorry it's so beautiful to be humble you know. Humility was the greatest lesson in life for me that the way that you can get to a better please to even want to improve. I believe it's just pray.

Prayer does amazing things I learned to be more tolerant saw last weekend. One man play about the life of Louis and he was what he called himself the reluctant Christian and he he said that prayer doesn't change the circumstances. Prayer changes so that we can see our circumstances differently and then take appropriate action that is so true because I learned to become a brain injured adult adult. I had to learn to be tolerant with my husband and delight wanted to postpone anger many times my PTSD identity for getting myself.

The hardest thing for me and I learned I learned to be understanding and compassion.

It was easy to understand and always they pay myself and the other person's shoes and you and I have never had this, and I actually had to learn to be self because I think it was in the very nature to be selfish. Can you believe so so it just really opened up the horizons for me.

Help me see things differently and because I learned to forgive myself. Guess what, I started liking myself and many people always ask me when we talk about above and below the line.

What different between blaming myself and taking responsibility and the easiest answer that I can go is that when were below the line blaming ourselves. There is negative emotions like guilt or shame or upset of some kind. And when we take responsibility, accountability and ownership. The emotions are on the positive side of that, more like information.

Click okay so I did this or I didn't do that and we can then make choices about how to proceed. Whereas below the line were at the effect of that and and were stuck were locked in the.so when you're looking at know how I take responsibility.

Keep looking for is there shame or guilt or some form of negative emotion.

There is still below the line and I believe very much like you been saying throughout this program, but if we pray we could begin to see things a little bit differently. There's always something to be grateful for and one of the things inside of your story is that you're here on this show. Being able to make a difference in so many other people's lives help with these kinds of things we know it's one in three women and one in five boys experienced not to the extent you have but some level of sexual abuse in our lives.

When you look around. It's like almost every God has a way God has a way of turning a tragedy into a blessing and I'm without a doubt, and God also allowed us to see things differently and appreciate everything like I realize how many times God blesses a you even little blessings.

I don't believe in coincidences and it is just amazing that once you give up your heart and you say he died on yours. This is a and I'm not gonna worry anymore. I'm not going to be afraid anymore just in your hands and I'm just going to trust you and I'm gonna go with this.

The ride and see what it takes me do the best that I can in the meantime make every day count make my life. I believe that everyone should cheat themselves like if it's the last day here on earth because death comes like a thief in the night.

You never know when you die, so everyone should cheat themselves like if it's their last banners and treat others like if it scanners a great united all the people having been an emergency room nurse course I know you have seen many times were an unexpected that happened mother was from an accident or an aneurysm or some other form of of physical trauma and and we don't know we never know that I said nobody's except from something it doesn't matter how much money you have, how successful you are, where you come from nobody's except from suffering. Nobody's except from this are definitely two guarantees. So go change your and life is a theory that I have.

I believe that all negative thoughts and on negative actions come from the devil and pain is the devil way to the devil away.

You know I sent it didn't change that I no longer fell for it no longer affected me. I no longer get angry about it I understood it better. Us back guys. I can't believe he actually another shell and Judy it's been so wonderful having you with us and thank you for is great I getting great.

I love the fact that we are all working together to help one another and I just want to let you know if you're tuning in.

We are live every Friday at 2 o'clock. This is the cure and I'm your host Amy to have no violence, addictions, poverty and even sexual abuse by your loved ones. The issue is not spinning their book to overcome all obstacles show that with the love of God, your husband and your family. You can succeed.

Love is the answer. God is the key work reveals from a very sincere and honest position in Cabo's life, a warrior who didn't give up and achieve the dream of her life. You can get to know more about her understory on www.godisthekeyword.com buying her book on Amazon.com to work with Amy Coble was brought to you by IM IC research 786-310-7477 or www.godisthekeyword.com.

Tune in every Friday at 2 PM with baby, right here on 880