20- Learn to Love and Empower Yourself

A brought to you by volume only see research length can bring many difficult situations, domestic violence, addictions, poverty and even sexual abuse by your loved ones welcome, Amy, and the Q and Aaron has part of anything to our Florida business station 880 a.m. available on 988.com that you can down the at 880 again back 880 we are like every Friday at 2 PM and you can listen to after Alexa I guess asking Alexa to pay 880. The best we've had some powerful topics and incredible guests of the course of the last months we talked about abuse.

How to overcome posttraumatic stress disorder symptoms and available treatments and we talked about mental health problems, and many others. Basically anyone who suffering, we kinda mind a way to help you one way or the other. But today I am joined by Dr. Barnes, Nico.

Are you thinking to you for joining us and I do have a very special guest and I'm delighted to introduce her name is Sandra Jeff's. She's an author of a collection of poetry called finding home heating from abuse professional fiction editor speaker in a jewelry designer she's worked in business management in her early years and then became a university educator for over 25 years she has worked abroad for 13 years in two countries and traveled to 35 countries she's passionate about learning and personal growth, and her extensive travels and ex parte experiences have given her a broad view of life and culture. She's an abuse survivor.

Her mother was verbally emotionally and mentally abusive and sometimes physically visa. Sandra made a man who was similar to her mother. She has experienced rate in the workplace sexual harassment Sandra got professional counseling but mostly stuffed her pain and got on life to discover that her wounds from abuse rose up to sabotage her over and over again. Finally she discovered some nice tragedies that helped her to heal and to gain confidence and self love. These strategies are simple takes only minutes a day and are based on kindness, compassion and love.

Soon Sandra will publish an online course called self love and kindness and she does have a website HTTPS Sandra Jeff's.com hello Sandra, thank you for joining us please tell us a little bit about yourself here lifelong learner and my higher self. Always at the forefront of everything that I do I really believe that what we do in life. Help to shine our inner life. Our purpose in life is to be like that we are inside the avenues that we choose to share it that some people call the purpose anything all year for reasons personally. I know that it's difficult to get granted. But it's difficult to burst BBs and they know the Scott of the reason for us to be here is just pondering this morning and thought to myself.

You are very hard moments in life and nobody's accent from suffering everyone and a lot of hard things happen in life and a lot of people suffer anything to myself. You know they are hard moments in life. We were never promised it would be easy but at the same time gives amazing moments the happiness that we can feel extreme happiness like Mary H. Love the birth of the child and imagine if we only get to feel this way and experiences things like family and friends or even keep a human form in the next life. It would emotions even matter.

I mean, that would make sense if we are not to suffer in this world would be a great opportunity to do something great, something unique feel great love learned from our pain and we can help one another, so this may be a who cares what happened in the past we can make the best and we can use it to help others because God has a funny way of turning a tragedy into a blessing when Sheldrake Bobby your books. That's right the food with the funny thing should be a body is originally from Bulgaria And it it they were communist and so they didn't have much religion but it's in him and him Sandra, I read one of the articles that was talking about self compassion and they know that the very hard thing that survivors deal with first some reason we are very hard in ourselves and we blame ourselves and it's hard for us to give ourselves for the reactions that we hot and when I make your article. Have compassion for yourself. I thought what a neat idea. I never thought about it that way that if I can have compassion for others and have a heart for this one I should not have compassion for myself and I know you can explain a better compassionate when I say love to go better than somebody else for that on the greater the world that come from online heart are what color truth that for truth is I'm online in our ego to give us the ability you noticing things through our reading should be our heart connection with that true source of love shine on it, as it does on the ocean is or flour.

It doesn't have any annual it doesn't it make any distinction is showing everywhere. So when we learn to love ourselves we can love others better and compassion. Everything starts.

I believe with. We can only give what we truly are as perfect myself in the compassionate person didn't have a lot of self-worth that the child one thing people don't understand. They just keep giving the giving and giving and self-sacrificing. Come to believe that self-sacrifice is the most selfish thing you can do that we have to be centered strong with her on the ground, knowing that we are worthy, valuable person.

We have a reason for being in this lifetime on this planet and then we can give that kind of strength and love and compassion to others only when we have that we really give it to other stinking Dell. How do we sign this compassion. Let's see please you please thinking in your dialogue is negative. How do we find this compassion because when we're survivors into this past we have had coping mechanisms we can get frustrated easily, especially those with PTSD you can feel on the edge, but it doesn't mean you have to be asked.

Now the way that I was able to find compassion for myself because I'm very hard on myself want to be a good person, not easy for me, but the way that I found compassion for myself was that I turned to God -related and when I turned to God, I realized that I could challenge myself if I feel an urge to get angry at interns myself not donate. In fact, did a complete opposite. Because there's no for me there is no greater feeling than controlling something that I feel is uncontrollable and that makes you feel very accomplished and and powerful. And when you're behaving in the right way and you're doing the right things you feel like you're staying close to God.

And when you're staying close to God. You feel like a better person and if you feel like a better person. You're more likely to have yourself. But it's hard to have compassion on yourself when you're behaving badly. That's the point I'm trying to make light of what Christ taught that we have to understand that the gift we were given love in our heart, our connection to God that if we put God out barcode much more difficult to realize that compassion. We know that love is our our connection to God and that it is that then we know that we have the right, the right to make a perfect Lee and his God gives me horrible things I've done in my life only way I forgive myself and you know we do have to be very forgiving ourselves, even for that that the consequences of our behavior that that when we were trying to get well and I know for me it was a long journey trying to get well. This didn't happen overnight, but for those that are testing in this is the chair and I'm your host Annie Cotto having a wonderful conversation with Sandra just wouldn't be talking more about it later on.

And today's show is focusing on child abuse and how we can overcome it to heal from it. Don't forget we can have the lines open when we come back and are numbers 305-541-2350 if you want to talk to Ms. jazz have a question for me or Dr. bores me to love and you're welcome to call.

You can listen to the cure. Every Friday at 2 PM on 888, effective this is the time by my side every day.

No way she can. Life can bring many difficult situations, domestic violence, addictions, poverty and even sexual abuse by your love ones. The issue is not stay there, but to overcome all obstacles and shouldered with the love of God, your husband and your family. You can succeed. Love is the answer. God is the key word reveals from a very sincere and honest position in Cabo's life, a warrior who didn't give up and achieve the dream of her life.

You can get to know more about her at her story on www.godisthekeyword.com Ballinger book on Amazon.com and now we continue with daily gobble to know the care at eight this is the percent union. We focus on these topics particular mental health abuse, and treatment options. Today we are joined by Dr. and by · we talking about how to survive abuse and positive behaviors that could be helpful. Yes Sondra thank you for for being on the show.

I was really in your website and some found something very interesting. This I see it like.your idea of combining different different meadows when when you feel so image but always talking about combination of effort so like reading poetry and art. So how do you actually combine old do you have any suggestions for people that my one of the same. I really really really helpful. One of the things that can help with and help rearrange our brain that I hate that people be very careful about lyric their brain because it programming climate. One of the song that I have on my list and the list of over 350 on a lot of time looking at the lyric well what you have to say that are empowering people for 15 minutes every day to have song they need to have a 15 minute phone call while getting ready for the day, whatever they play so I better data out into the world with line that they can do whatever they need to do. They can overcome whatever obstacles, no way, and a lot there's a lot of research on researching what that does to our brain and how that helps us really, and pain because we do hold common pain in our bodies physically in ourselves so with help that classical music will also do that but it doesn't do the programming that positive lyrics to I use music a lot. I'll tell you what I do really well for me that I always I sometimes usually have nightmares in the night and I just make a thing that that I combated with prayer and I do like the minutes of prayer and some inspirational songs, and afterwords, and maybe some testimonials or some sermons and that I find very helpful. I've always found very helpful.

But what's really important to me is to paint to pay whenever and to help. I pray never in fear.

I pay whenever on Saturday, pay whenever it seems okay.

I still pray I like a heavy day. I don't make it to church almost very rarely get the terms that some other people might not even make it to church, ride some people don't read the Bible like I'm pretty lazy about it. You have to be willing to be praying for Sophie's effort and it's the most effective way to stay strong and I wanted to also speak about how what you believe your mindset it's choice that we make to help ourselves. Example, if somebody's thinking negative I say ATP always think positive Altair.

What you spend your time better thinking the best of things.

Giving that giving the benefit of the doubt. Thinking positive throughout the time even if you are wrong. In the end it's okay to give him a big deal if you miserable if you write immiscible throughout the time so what's the point think positive and you don't want to be miserable no reason that you are mistaken. It's just this one of the things that I use.

It's not your typical reaction because most of us act out and I don't succeed as much as I'd like to trust me it's time where were on it together. I have this little thing.

I used to believe that I was broken. I'm sorry you had to say something really important to understand in order to heal her more than any other person.

Our relationship to our inner dialogue here critical to how we can perform and how we can heal and back in 1977 I took the challenge to day noticing what I was thinking all day long and people told me I was a really positive person. I really positive person. I was shocked at how many times I would judge someone else. At the grocery store at the gas station at work.

How many little thought went through my head.

Judging another both also judging myself.

I do core is challenge people. Even if you just do it for 2 to 3 hours a day was a little daunting in the night, I felt a little but then who or how to change that felt, as it we want to be really sick, you know there are people that are doing good things we want to be realistically don't want to live with rose-colored glasses on and we don't want to live in judgment different and originally I thought I had ever rose-colored glasses not think of anybody else. I would one willing to think of myself. Anybody out and what I learned is, I have to be aware and know that other people are not in their higher self. Many times in their life. And I also have been in place and that's where I can connect with compassion that the judgment is what puts us into a new phase and unable to love ourselves and for judging other people were not letting ourselves, judging ourselves when not loving. I have to tell you I try my hardest not to judge, I saw you today I'm diving in the middle of the lien and he said, confirming standing off to the side in the middle.

That's not the will. I like to go by the rules of book I like to do everything just right. Son thinking while maybe they don't know.

I was checking them. Maybe they're being considerate to the oncoming traffic so the oncoming traffic doesn't escape maybe get off a little bit to the side to the right because you're avoiding the holes in the street and they usually in the middle so formatted that I have no idea for the motive behind the action. So it's important not to judge but when the constant negative idea negative thoughts and night. Those things I blame everything on the devil, everything that are not so much easier to let me. I think God lets me see that it's the devil that's enticing me to get frustrated and because and therefore I don't believe it's that sump and that the devil wants me to get frustrated and believe there's something wrong with me so that I can feel that amount to God because I believe in the devil. I pray and I know God will help because I believe that happens and I never let me down. By the way yeah it is easier to fight the think that it is easier rise about temptations with gods help them to try to control emotions you believe is beyond your control and get into the symptoms of your condition.

For some people to believe because it broken and it's a condition you know what whenever there's good, there's evil.

It could be the devil. So I I realize I choose how I spend my time do I want to spend my time hopeful knowing that I have the most powerful divine, celestial being by my side or miserable thinking I'm a product of my circumstances. I have two more help me when I notice becoming aware of these noted it happening most of her uncle about it. We just think it so we have to get that awareness of what we're thinking. Once we got there we have to also not be hard on herself. Judgment of I use the word curious or wonder though what I hear you are doing in years. You are saying what made it so I I'm curious why you're driving way or wonder why I wonder what's happening. I wonder if I give them the blessing of I hope she was driving. You know, I hope they're safer say they're happy.

I blessed them with silent blessing that I do with people everywhere I go to bless you with prosperity, health and happiness because I believe in energy I believe that blessing of energy goes out will that I encounter my life. Don't know I'm doing island about the crowd were there a lot of people I shorten it to PHH 500 people come by me that we have to be gracious with ourselves and know you be imperfect as time allowed herself to be perfect and allow ourselves to have shifted back into a more of it in perspective, what are where I was for many many years believing the lies of the devil was broken around spot anything to serve God's help and that's why this is this is any vacation. I've never been host.

I'm just doing this impure faith to see how I can help others just with my testimony in my experience and whatever the Holy Spirit gives me for this that are disdaining it. This is a chip on your hosting. Don't forget we have our lines open and numbers 055412350 where I live every Friday at 2 PM and after the song will talk more with Sandra Jess and Dr. Boris love this is for fun gnocchi my feet to do what you know you you wife can bring many difficult situations, domestic violence, addictions, poverty and even sexual abuse by your loved ones.

The issue is not speedier to overcome all obstacles and show that with the love of God, your husband and your family. You can succeed. Love is the answer. God is the key word reveals from a very sincere and honest position in Cabo's life, a warrior who didn't give up and achieve the dream of her life. You can get to know more about her at her story on www.godisthekeyword.com buying her book on Amazon.com and now we continue with baby gobble to donate a you can remember slide every Friday and I lines are open 30554150.

If you like to speak to center just.on myself.

This test, I have a serious question for you because I have to tell you that I have tried everything to talk about a guinea pig. Nobody knows. Trial and error more than me. I've tried everything I think it's that mushrooms so but you know legal and illegal.

I guess that nothing works in the end, no matter what methods I tried. No matter which avenues I want in the end it's the only thing that works for me was God because you, I admire people like Mormons get their kids killed and immediately there for getting the murder in their mind that piece in the scene not to suffer as much. How's that possible to somebody have a faith that strong that it minimizes their suffering itself actually be okay to back pain.

Tommy what you think. I am not sure I good or bad all over. What happened a lot of time in our life and that give our life. God say you know God takes the child doesn't take the child just happened. For whatever reason I don't know my product is to always stay in the present moment. The more we stay in the past. It is to have regret and pain and to feel revenge and other negative emotions. If I can live in the present moment as much as possible means I have to give myself that I made the things I've done qualify that I don't want to do my highest and best self. And I have to forgive others. If I can forgive myself.

It's really difficult if not impossible to forgive other Let go of my regret and my own judgment of myself. Difficult to let go of other people. Bad behavior is not easy six. Scott I get close to God because each one of us are small part very parts of the plan and I realize that we all here together and understand we can leave the past behind some of us have tuning with commenting precedents and medication can only do so much. What's only 35% of time. If you have a psychologist there for that power. So basically what are you left with with your support system and what if you have a good support system and what if you have nothing what if you there's always God is always there and I earlier what what why do I get up in the morning when I wake up.

Gratitude I believe gratitude connected to God rageful for what we do have an there and I don't judge words for I have learned that I get up. All I can say I'm grateful that I'm grieving and grateful that I went to sleep and I will go more challenging to find two that I find three things that I'm grateful for that morning and night.

I have a gratitude journal where I write down five grateful for during the day.

A lot of things are down five but keep connected spirit that keeps me connected to what is legal that money troubles come and go, you know it helps comes and goes, we have down in our life are stable things that we can feel grateful for and appreciative that that were here and were alive and worry. She how do you like it is today, bringing flowers, green Murray everywhere. I love how gratitude is for me. I agree I do exercise every morning balances me because the first thing we do when were born free, and if we don't believe we die and so pleasing to me grieving out balances me and sometimes people we can to give and give and give any analogy that I heard from someone else that I've taken on that you have to bring about continue living. All you're doing is breathing out, i.e., giving, giving, giving, and I cannot solve who help themselves run take take take your dial. This is an interesting grave goods also look in your website some book. I guess you gone this practice yet so there's lots of kindness through the eyes let's first start with being kind to yourself, and then to others because if you don't think of yourself then going to go father's thing what you said about gratitude appreciating things when I did take God seriously instead of looking at gloomy day. How depressing. I appreciate the fact that I can keep my pop down because it's not raining on a gloomy day all amazing. So you do tend to see things in a different way and it's great with being happy because they hard to be miserable when you are so grateful and so appreciative for everything you have an life it's great. The other thing I tell and I like my gratitude journal is one of the things I do my life. My breathing exercise I every day laughter yoga and I get up in the morning laughter, he's funny and I have two or three that I will end up first thing in the morning. I focus on. So where is that I can be kind to date somebody else literally going to do and I paid conscious acts of kindness rather than random I do when the opportunity is when the opportunity arises that I know that I'm going to be kind in the world is for me to love myself and have compassion for myself and other confident souls yeah but you know I I often try to anonymously there is a property when you do an act of kindness and people know what is Grace's yeah I think I'm just for the joy of being not have anybody feel obligated our children and child abuse and what you can do a parent or teacher or someone around children, teaching them to be crying and not for you know any reward that you get it just being kind for the reward of being kind. When we teach children we teach them to be compassionate, confident and self worth and self value that they can have as far not being bullied and not being keeps them to know who they are, that you were and that they have something to give to other people so you knew the situation this month for child abuse prevention month so awareness so it's a report of the raised up also for people to be aware and to teach their kids the abuses something unfortunate can happen to them and to be able to say something happens in the obesity scare during the related or no in January just holding it in doing so, what can be done more in school so communities to prevent child abuse I think is to say that a lot of law so we lost our value. I think kids you know that sometimes the environment can influence us that TV all kinds of things all you know shown that one of the most critical. That's where all programming is called the personality style so it is apparent.

Teaching the children that they have value in your thinking about stakes but children hear the word no more than five times more than they hear the word yes and we tell our children know you if we parent and I didn't do this is apparent.

I wish I had heard this before. If we know that we have to say that no and find ways that we can accurately say yes, that is at least equal that build self-confidence with the child left the child know that the world no no no world of Google for myself and I can I can make my own way so conscious of conscious of what information is putting radio through whatever child goes into daycare into school apparent have less access to their child to keep them need to have self-love, self-confidence, self esteem and self worth because somebody did teach me that the child shouldn't try so hard to get approval from the planning for the teacher for them to be part of the child but the child needs to learn to be proud of themselves and only be part of themselves actually having good behaviors. Following the values doing the right thing. I don't know of anybody that can be part of themselves doing the wrong thing.

I know at least I wasn't that nice.

We come to an end about the before that so I really wanted to mention that there is this movie came out last week on unplanned.

I would really recommend it to everybody to you, it was below it was really hard for me because I had an abortion and it was good for me to sit in plans movie that the main actress was forgiven. That was really nice because those are hard on myself on my life as a live auction. I was forced I feel that I was forced to do. And so, yes, but thank you so much miss – thank you so much for your very wise advice and saying and thinking Boris you're wonderful to you guys at the daily word that I just received every day is higher thinking God for his goodness. Remember, your victories, tell the people around you keep ragging on the goodness of God, the more you bad on the goodness of God. The more goodness still seem this is how I DQ seven next to me, I am always the research 786-1074 77 www.godis.com to name every Friday at 2 PM with Amy, right here on 880