47- Restoring Hope for Families of Veterans with PTSD

Brought to you by my LIC research life can bring many difficult situations, domestic violence, addictions, poverty and even sexual abuse by your loved ones welcome, Amy, and the two things today. I am hosting here. I called the care website is guided, they cannot come for the care and duty under the Late edition will air on TV six and 10 131 Sundays at 5 PM on the podcast. I'm also joined by Dr. Boris hello how are you.

We created this shell at the safe space to show that there is hope after going to difficulties struggling are not matter what type I'm trying to use test that can be helpful to nationals and inspirational speakers and can get productive suggestions as a survivor. I hope to inspire others encourage transparency and find strength in knowing that this are not alone in this text you against insurmountable odds to access today will be talking about helping our veterans and those suffering from trauma our special guest is Welby O'Brien well-being is a respected expert on the subject of PTSD divorce. O'Brien draws from extensive research and her only experience transpired.

Those who have encountered the same struggles and from her knowledge on the subject's. She offers hope to those in need an authority on posttraumatic stress disorder. O'Brien spoke love our fats.

Restoring hope for our family for families of veterans with PTSD is for caregivers, families, loved ones and veterans themselves were struggling to survive that down, wake, O'Brien penned this title after marrying a veteran who suffers as a result of his experiences in combat well-being initiated and facilitates national support network called love our fats.

PTSD family support, LLC actively involved in leadership and teaching for over 30 years Welby has been a welcome guest on radio and television, as well as feature in video productions LP thank you for being with us. You are now on the care will be anything that you deal with with PTSD and trauma because that is such a high terrain accounting these days and a lot of people arguing with trauma in the PTSD that can lead to a lot of things but let's start with background counseling you live with a husband who was 100% disabled hundred percent disabled veteran with PTSD teach you tell us a little bit about what PTSD and what may have costed mom and traumatic memory. But enough that pretty much honking him for almost a year about 30 years to realize that he needed to reach out for help and many many of not knowing what was going on and I think that's one of the problems that people deal with reach out for help sooner help is more available, but because of its in your book restoring for families of PTSD you explain happy to speak can affect anyone, not just veterans. How would someone know if their loved one has it. What are the some of the typical symptoms.

For example, anyone really is a result of.

Life walked into emergency mode, you know like the survival program in emergency mode at some level for the rest of their lives 24 seven trauma and impending crisis could look at any moment and it overwhelms their ability to cope and back into survival mode. They have no that you learn to thrive again and some of the symptoms to look for if you are wondering if you might question being startled back, time, intrusive thoughts, ability sometimes difficult job memory block nightmares membrane. Sometimes outbursts of anger and other emotions. Sometimes people lined up with substance abuse and behaviors. Number problems typical problems putting up walls, withdrawing and normally abnormal experience and we can slot messages to help nobody needs to be alone on in there, and encouraging people to reach out and there's so many symptoms begin to see you don't necessarily have to have all the symptoms you can have three or four that could be very debilitating.

So what you can exactly manifest for one person to another and so then we are doing when someone is being sent by exit something that can be cured away.

The something back to read living that moment so that no permanent help they are more beneficial and resources available so people can learn and people to the options.

What kind might be effective for one person may not find out what might work for them. Talk with people research and reach out because there is an especially with the Lord, take away any rate trauma from online promised to be with the unit and to walk through it so I know family and my husband's life.

The fact that he came to know the Lord of years ago has really helped him today.

I think it's important just to acceptance what's going on because I know that I have. I do yes do you actually have complex peace. Then, when you accept whatever circumstance you trust God doesn't scare you.

You learn to accept it and I think that you can do that. At least I did living others and forgiving myself when I was able to do that. I was able to accept whatever is going on.

She started peeling it a little bit different. What that whole. That's not nice.

I was destined to suffer, I start thinking in terms of suffering is necessary for growth, so everything is a learning experience and if you really think about it how everyone in the role the suffering in so many different ways. Just grateful for where you are right click send and except all that is an ongoing process with visiting that it doesn't come along as you know, growth is never been nice if you've arrived he could just relax now about everybody have some kind of challenge and not run from it, not numb ourselves and walk through and get help and support we needed something that eventually start coming out because beautiful things do you come out everything God has a way to turn any tragedy into a blessing and I actually saw a Facebook post today was very beautiful and he was telling a story about how Jesus chose to go to Bill and this is God that made the world and he could've just walked on water that within really cool that he wanted to use this person spell he wanted to watch through us.

It's just a matter of accepting him and letting him work through us. He has a different plan in a very special way for many of us think what he got in store. I don't think I understand it better fits the purpose of having face with what he really treasured treasure yes think that nobody at you go. Did you have much faith before you met me from the word engine socialistic for the delivery so I have learned a lot of faith to my wife now that you have faith find it. We need each other. Each other and build each other up for sure and that's a beautiful thing though.

I cannot imagine how difficult it must be some people I mean you have to some people V really have to have a lot of faith in your one of them because even three books not just one book 3 best-selling books because you know little bit about grief and loss and divorce as well and these can be symptoms of SD as well could be the consequences thereof going to this when we get back.

So, for this is just an union on your hosting capital and this is the care today shows focusing on how to help her that after they've helped us we are joined by Welby O'Brien, author of our bats. This is the care I mean you capital this is all time low.

I done shining my time that all so like three months. No, that all so very sincere and honest position. Cabo's life, a warrior didn't give up and achieve the dream of her life. You can get to know more about her at her story on www.godisthekeyword.com buying her book on Amazon.com.

If you something from persistent depression called neurosciences medical plan to schedule a free consultation for new, effective treatment such as intranasal ketamine or Norstar TMS. No medication treatment neurosciences medical clinic call now 786-600-7005 neurosciences medical clinic 786 600-700-5786 600-7005 and now we can to do with daily gobble, 218 80 I just your hosting capital buys time to today.

We are joined by Welby O'Brien. We are talking about helping our bats pieces Skype to my podcast, click the link below Welby living with someone with PTSD impact the family and those around them and how does your book lover bats addressed well not only individual battle at first off, deeply and profoundly impact all those around them you love them and some people call it vicarious trauma or actually secondary PTSD and I never fix on this, but my guess would be that every one person battling PTSD.

There are probably at least maybe 3 to 5 others close to them. Also struggle 24 seven.

At some level with the fallout, it is when I didn't do well nobody did well while and I have a saying in the book. It exceptional person to love a warrior, especially a warrior war will never see. So whether it's a trauma from combat or, from something else that conflict comes back into our homes and it ends up that the loved one. Start seeing symptoms of PTSD. Also, I remember the first time I while getting triggered.

Life got startled response and I can't sleep and I'm on full alert and and all the sudden I'm like oh okay so the loved one need that support and that connection with others just as much as the other individual who battles it firsthand and pretty much what the focus of the book love on that. It's for the loved ones to help them encourage them offer some practical tips and and also the support network to help people connect online or locally with others who get it because as you know, Amy.

It's a world of challenges that people don't really understand unless they're living in it, so we wanted hope and encouragement because the person suffering with PTSD seem so troubled that he seems to focus on that person and they don't realize they can be just as difficult on the caretaker. Kind of like, it's important also heal the healers.

I really my observation is a good amount of people end up in the support role are loving getting people and can be more prone to burnout because they feel guilty or just not into their own needs, especially if they are people of faith. Sometimes it drummed into the servant given given given don't be selfish and know that it could do, but were also supposed to stay. What we need so we can have love to give and get the rest we need the nutrition we can almost think so we can better support those around us.

So when we feel that we are burnouts.

What you're trying to say is take time for ourselves. Yet without feeling guilty and ourselves as well and gets to point that we the person's exact PTSD person and its depression is caretakers not able to take care of themselves in that case, how can the communities are people around them.

Help right so taking care of ourselves proudly. Love is a really good principal for five and I think it's important for ministry leaders to anybody who is kind of in a role where they are giving is a lot of outpouring take the time to feed on the Lord and on his word and replenish ourselves in all all areas of our lives. I believe that giving this part of things and it's when you continuously doing the right thing that you get a chance to shine.

Otherwise, just lead to your spiritual demise is just because nowhere I mean really that's the whole idea is stick role in relationship with God, and it reached the place where you piece if you feel that you piece you feel blessed, and if you feel plastic are so grateful that your there's nothing that you need. It's a wonderful place and only thing that people that have gotten life yeah how our brokenness in our world and our weakness and he actually loved you, broken people way more than I think proud people say I don't need God and he takes you a purpose and that just never ceases to amaze me that we have a purpose it is fulfilling like you say it's not easy but it's it's worth it because if you are my Facebook friend reposted a deposit you. Somebody was just talking about that this morning and now he wants to take the week people in the broken people and the people that are not don't think they're getting the people that he likes to use the analogy pre-post, I get it. I understand what you're saying now your book is not a religious book. Both you and your husband are a people of faith, so that you filed that Christianity makes a difference in the lives for the those that are battling with PTSD.

In the book love Marquis faith bring in connection with God and love bring in connection with others that God never promised to take away pain or to navigate away from all our time for to the racer, but from my experience of having a personal relationship with the Lord does make a difference. Tonight I see that in those around me to offer much needed presence in the pain there's piece that you mentioned earlier there's power struggle.

Everybody has struggled.

They are the promises we can cling forward promises of solid hope perspective and purpose, and more of a blessing.

I do like you discovered when you can share that faith and prayed together with the one you love and I'll say that trauma and its aftermath can really make a person feel my own and so healing begins only realize were not alone. She knew all about trauma and so walking with him through the challenges has truly been a lifeline for me. My husband and many others I felt. I like to claim the promise. Romans 828 we can rest. He causes all things to work together for our good and his glory.

Even the hard times, even when it absolutely makes no sense at the moment and what it hurts like crazy so I do courage. Anybody may not have a relationship with the Lord to just reach out faith get a Bible and start reading. Connect with others and to take that step. See what happens got nothing to lose.

DC do everything for the glory of God is in everything that you do for the glory of God is chlorine but for those that are just sitting in hosting a capital and distinction number he can listen to us live on Facebook, but forgot to secure our care offices shortly after he come about cost and please subscribe to our podcast link below or by going to any capital.part B.com after this will be talking with you Brian about how to find ways to help our vets.

This is week. Thanks AJR no is what I should be stations of trouble on so bad for me. For me, bad for me so God is revealed from a very sincere and honest position. Cabo's wife, a warrior who didn't give up and achieve the dream of her life.

You can get to know more about her at her story on www.godisthekeyword.com buying her book on Amazon.com and now we continue with baby gobble on capital here Friday at 2 PM radio for an hour like steaming on Facebook and the cure for Apple devices joined by Welby O'Brien were talking about helping her vets Welby book is divided into three parts, reaffirm, replenish and reflect. And I like to talk a little bit about how your book is set up for first I wanted to get curious question.

You mentioned about patriotic comedies. 4 July and Veterans Day.

How does that.

How does that affect those with PTSD. Everybody but Clay serves up a person, can trigger them back into survival mode. So for some they love holidays and others. It's just a total nightmare.

I know that around Fourth of July a lot of veterans get really heightened alert and it usually goes on for about a week or two, especially loud boom fireworks noises in crowds and those things can really trigger them bright light sending them right back in to the battlefield. I know that there was a patriotic event here locally not to vote on during Vietnam veterans and unfortunately some of them were severely triggered when they surprised everyone and fluent Huey helicopter right in the middle of the stadium and that was in my opinion, maybe not that great of an idea, but it's good for veterans and their loved ones and anybody with PTSD from whatever there, might be to be aware ahead of time about what their potential triggers are and to make make plan to avoid those areas on those kinds of events and to just have that good love and support around you… But also through but maybe those qualities also help them in some way because celebrating their sacrifices our veterans sacrifices and and it's also very helpful in the way. Absolutely the kind of a two-edged sword are quite however you want to look at it. Thank you, definitely. As far as about most of them just really appreciate being appreciated, especially the Vietnam era veterans who were so misunderstood and treated when they returned home that day there kind of really appreciating the fact that there honored and respected in definitely a time to convey our gratitude and respect and honor to all who have served that other side is just that there may be some events that are disturbing to them, just depending on right about the ones that get triggered and so for those that get triggered that season. A group of people whoever's flying the helicopter does not know that there's veterans have triggers and in that case is really no way to avoid it now if it's possible to trigger a brain that with our or to cause such trauma, where he could be triggered by this. Could you somehow brainwash a person to undo the trigger. Undo the trauma indicates that the King novel cannot avoid the situations knowing they are aware of all, that's what it is and yes I'm feeling triggered. Right now I don't have to react this way and I'm stronger than this right recognizing what it is sometimes very freeing. Okay trigger this is the PTSD II know why I'm feeling what I'm feeling really reassuring but sometimes when you just kicked right into that survival mode. You're not able to recognize that at the moment so we're getting good help and having some good tools under your belt to help in those times is can be beneficial so the truth will set you free. Which is actually scriptural I found that out. I just thought it was a good thing that everybody said by something even though PTSD, it cannot be cured, you can learn to live with. Just like people to learn to live with having pain daily some and you can also learn to control it. Because if you have God right nothing suppressing possible so there's no such thing as this is why men I can't help it.

That's right. Nobody kind of nice to remember to I want to encourage people to go to our website if they can we have that kind of resources. It www.lovethat.org so there is a lot of resources there links to organizations and also to things not only for those who struggle for the loved ones to just anybody who suffers from me, because like you said any trauma can give you PTSD right you have to be any trauma, could be a hurricane. That's right so it can happen to anyone. That's an important thing to educate people to know and maybe some people don't want to come to terms because of the stigma attached to PTSD and anything that others can do to help change and help those PTSD so that we can come to deal with it and have better be able to take care of ourselves bettering each other.

Maybe improve but for many people to learning more about PTSD are getting to know someone who struggles with can make a difference and again our website.

Love are that.org has a lot of helpful information planing it and other things that you can share with others and another tool that we have which people are just loving is a little 5 x 7 card and we also have another graphic that flowed around social media to call PTSD basics and it's just out exclamation summary of what it is what it isn't what it looks like and how don't think we can do to help people and the things to not do.

And so we we get those cards out for free. If anybody wants to contact us or find that graphics are the PTSD basics and so basically just listen. Learn all you can discover what resources are available locally and online.

Just encourage people to get the support and help they need to affirm them because one of the things that I say that we say I think in the book with this is remember that with PTSD. Every day is a victory. So, pretty amazing nine yet again your website is www.love our vets or also on Facebook about 40,000 Facebook so I it's a great big support group and your book is extremely helpful way. If you could just go into what you mean by the three parts that is important in the healing process are at least learning to live with.

This is reaffirm, replenish and reflect well my reading like I still well enough to read a book from the beginning and so organize actually all three books in support of the question answer section type of reference so you can look at it and the area that you need at the time you needed and so the first section I call reaffirm our questions and back over 60 questions and answers that are unique to the loved ones of those with PTSD. I had done a lot of journaling when I gone through my own counseling and so a lot of the notes I think I have learned questions I picked up from those in the support group that I started in the loved ones that I've been learning from and so the second section, replenish our need and that all about self-care and format and so those are some areas that we can see where we maybe need improvement in the third section is reflect our wisdom and that's kind of a treasure chest of advice helpful quotes encouraging words and testimonials from father to also love some of the PTSD.

So this is actually them life into work because like you said everybody's different every PTSD is different and every symptom is different. You so, but the way that we can help each other's on the scene just all starts with unconditional love. Everything else falls into place. Can we get that unconditional love because God started you really was a great example I tell you that I remember when my husband and I were dating and we had been dating for about a year and 1/2. I did all the PTSD research I could get my hands on back then, which wasn't much, but we had a lot of people praying for us and we really, we both come from failed marriages and we really wanted to do this one right. And I remember the moment. What I just said, Lord, I need I need a Sinai needs something to show me whether or not to go ahead because I really want to go ahead and the impression that came to me was well beat go love him with my love.

There will always be enough, and I remember that now all these years, it just love that flows through us and that cure and hope to God for your man.

Yeah, I mean, well, it happens when you been let down a lot when been disappointed in beats freezing you just don't know anymore whether you can trust yourself even right.

Even at that point I got your turn.

I have another choice better know well what do you believe Bobby was like the look Lord will I'm I'm trying to lose a lot of it. So for everybody I knew you were talking about the support systems and I went through a lot in life, so I did develop PTSD and you know you really thought about Poppy and that's why I think the first time people could appreciate the role that he played is when I first wrote my book and it is an easy role to play. It is easy for the person that loves you because if you think if you're suffering from PTSD in your suffering.

You think those around you are your children don't feel it did not know that you're depressed now. If you suffer and I think thank God I feel very blessed that God has given me such recently a family was amazing that we've made it through producer does affect only the person reduce the effects. A lot of the fun of him or her. When therapeutic intervention is to be done is to be so a lot of the doctors forget about the public or the Sukkot is a psychiatrist or counselors because they're more concentrated on the person suffering from the buddies. In many cases the farm related to suffering to with their loved one because if you are paying in the it's always better to combine everybody in the process of the healing process yeah yeah the good thing is that if you do love your family and you come to the realization that the way that you feel affects others. Then you can learn to be. I learned to not feel bad for the sake of others and you know that many helped me so if you want to. I mean mothers do it all the time we make ourselves strong when we don't feel strong for the sake of our kids, so that's kind of like we can come in for ourselves that way to 1° through their brothers and tell me about your national support group for the loved ones of PTSD. How can we get people connected with PTSD.

Family support groups besides going to your website. You will love on or and there's a couple options we try to maintain live support network page of online group. Most of them are closed in private so you can join a support group online be with people who are learning and growing and supported in understand your journey and learn from reading what other people going through what helped them. So we have some options listed there and also we are really hoping that more local groups will pop up on those are harder to get going but we try to maintain a current list of local support group there also.

So just knowing that were not alone and without hope. That's the thing I hear the most people come to us and say wow I didn't know what was going on. I thought I was the only one I thought there was no hope in and now we find that I'm not alone.

Get connected to joy. There was a good idea only be Adam yeah good point. All well be.

It's been wonderful.

Thank you so much you really are an example of unconditional love.

I mean, borrowers can be the first one to tell you it's not easy living with someone with PTSD. No. Yes, I can tell you it's well worth through the core that we come to the end of the show again guys. It was a pleasure to share this with all our listeners.

A big thank you to you all and our special guest love the O'Brien stories and agree. Wanda again think you will be for your participation.

For more information. O'Brien can be found in Amy.com or guided to Q.com hundred guests.

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Thanks for this, please go to Amy.com for previous shows next and leaving you lovely Billy Q's you already sexual ones.

You she was not stay there to overcome all obstacles show the love of God. Husband and your family can succeed.

Love is the answer. God is the key word reveals from a very sincere and honest position. Amy Carbo's life, a warrior who didn't give up and achieve the dream of her life.

You can get to know more about her at her story on www.godisthekeyword.com buying her book on Amazon.com. If you suffer from persistent depression called neurosciences medical clinic to schedule a free consultation for new, effective FDA approved treatments such as intranasal ketamine or Norstar TMS. No medication treatment neurosciences medical clinic call now 786-600-7005 neurosciences medical clinic 786 600-700-5786 600-7005 two, Amy, was brought to you by IM ICU research 786-310-7477 www.godis.com to name every Friday at 2 PM with baby, right here on