What Is Christian Marriage?

What was the very first thing that God saw in his creation about which he said that not good. We find it in the 18th verse of the second chapter of Genesis where God looks down at his creation. He sees me, and he sees the animals and he says it is not good that man should be alone until God provided a warning for Adam in the first. Fast-forward to the 21st century, and it seems that marriage is on life support.

For example, listen to this headline seven reasons. Marriage will be dead in the 21st century. Or how about this headline from a major newspaper reinventing marriage for the 21st century. Don't you think about that headline may explain the problem people trying to reinvent something that God the solution then is to view marriage as God Dr. RC Sproul is going to help us do that this week you're on Renewing Your Mind from his series, the intimate marriage. One of the most interesting weddings I've ever attended the 500 people there. The bride was gorgeous but the thing that grabbed my attention at this particular wedding ceremony was the creativity of the wedding ceremony. The wedding lasted over an hour and the bride and the groom had brainstorm together with the pastor in order to insert new and different and exciting elements into the wedding service and I enjoyed the house right in the middle of the ceremony they inserted portions of the traditional classic wedding ceremony and I noticed that when I began to hear the words from the traditional ceremony that my attention perked up and I was moved and I thought to myself there's just no way to improve on this. This is so beautiful those words are so meaningful, why can't we just stay with the traditional service that I thought well I'm probably just old-fashioned.

One of these fuddy-duddy ministers and so on. I thought maybe the reason I like the traditional service so much is because I've heard it so many times most people only really here at once when they get married when they're participating in somebody else's wedding but when you're a clergyman, you have the benefit of doing it over and over and over again so that the words now become shark in their definition and as I thought of the traditional wedding ceremony I realized that a great deal of thought and care had been filled in each word, and so we have a tradition that has developed in this wedding service, but you've all felt the tension in our culture as young people more and more are saying no to the traditional wedding ceremony and to the whole traditional concept of marriage.

People have experienced pain in their own marriages end in their families. We know that were more young people are coming from broken homes and there's a fear that submerged a suspicion about the whole business of marriage. So we see couples living together rather than jumping into marriage for fear that the cost of that kind of a commitment may be too much. It may be too heavy to make themselves to vulnerable support a point in our culture were one of the most stable and what we thought once permanent traditions is being challenged every day. I think most of us have seen the movie or the Broadway play fiddler on the roof. How many of you have seen that. Okay. I particularly like the movie version of it where we have the story of that venerable Russian Jewish patriarch reptile via his whole life revolves around his daughters. Oh how he loves his daughters and he looks forward to their future. He plans for their future and he gets involved with the matchmaker in the village who is supposed to establish mates and the match for his daughters. But suddenly the girls won the time come to their father and they say pop but we don't love that man that the matchmaker has chosen.

I love the Taylor or I love the butcher or whatever. And these girls begin to pull at the heartstrings of their father. One by one and they say pop up.

Please let me marry the man that I love the poor reptile via feast for the port by this because on the one hand he wants to make his daughters happy.

But on the other hand is on the one hand and on the other it was to maintain his allegiance to the traditions of someone he struggles with his dollars say no you can't marry the Taylor or whoever the daughter says why not. And he said it's the tradition we thought that was explanation nothing you can't do it. It's the tradition that they may ask the next question, but Papa why is it the tradition ripped every scratches his head and why the division listen tradition.

That's all for my father did that for my grandmother did that from his father before him that it's a tradition, but he couldn't give a reason for the establishing of the tradition in the first place, and there was the crisis that had a tradition that was hanging in midair.

It was precarious was the title of the movie fiddler on the roof what the world that a fiddler on the roof had to do with the story of this old man and his daughters who want to get married. Remember the opening scene in the movie as the soundtrack is moving and we see this little man dancing and playing his fiddle on a steeply pitched roof.

That's the symbol for the entire movie. The messages contain right in that because here is a man dancing and fiddling on a steeply pitched roof in a position that is highly precarious at any second. We expect that fiddler to slip and a slide on the roof and crashing to the ground and the whole point of that image is this, that a tradition that is not understood.

A tradition that is empty of its roots is as precarious as a man trying to dance and fiddle on a roof like that, sooner or later it will fall, it will be destroyed. The Christian hast asked this question, why do we have a traditional order for marriage why we have marriage and off one of the things I like about the traditional wedding ceremony is that in the wedding ceremony words are mentioned explained to us why there is such a thing as marriage, we are told in that wedding ceremony that marriage is ordained and instituted by God.

That is to say that marriage is not something that just springs up arbitrarily out of social conventions or human taboos. Marriage is not invented by men, marriage is ordained and instituted by God. Let's take a moment and look back at the origins of marriage we go to the earliest chapters of the Old Testament.

The opening chapters of the book of Genesis in the first chapter of Genesis. Of course we read the creation account.

The narrative by which God creates the world and he does it in stages. First, he cries out, let there be light, and then he divides the light from the darkness of the next day he may divide the dryland from the season the oceans and then he begins to fill the earth with vegetation with flowers and trees and so on. And then he adorns his creation even further by making beasts of the field, and birds of the year and fish swim in the sea. Then as we go through that narrative, we see that the creation story reaches its crescendo with the crowning act of creation were God scoops down into that Earth and grabs a piece of clay and he begins to shape it informative and molded, and then he breathed into it. His own breath and we read that man becomes a living soul. While we also noticed something going on here that at every stage of God's work of creation God honors a benediction. Some are all familiar with this word benediction.

We hear it every Sunday morning in church is the end of the services others can't wait for that happens to minister raises there is a Lord bless you and keep you going to accommodate or do whatever particular the sermon was boring, so the benediction to us means the end of the service was going on in the benediction is as we see in the word. The root here been a means well for good and diction. We know what it means to have good diction or poor diction. It has to do with speaking so that I benediction is a good word or someone wishes you well and so we see God's benediction being pronounced over each stage of his creation as he creates the seas and the mountains. He looks at what he's made and he says that's good as he makes the animals and considers them. He looks at that part of his creation. He says that's good. So we see this benediction being repeated throughout chapter 1 and in the chapter 2 of Genesis. But suddenly, something ominous comes into this story of creation in the middle of chapter 2. There's a very subtle mood shift for the first time in the history of the universe. God notices something that provokes from his mouth, not a benediction. What we call a malediction, a malediction means speaking evil a curse, for example, would be a malediction statement of judgment. Think for a moment and ask yourself what is the thing that provoked the first malediction from the mouth of God.

What was the very first thing that God saw in his creation about which he said that not good.

We find it in the 18th verse of the second chapter of Genesis where God looks down at his creation.

He sees man.

He sees the animals and he says it is not good that man should be alone is first malediction is directed against the situation of human loneliness. So we ask why marriage God provides an answer to human loneliness. I remember the Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard who wrote frequently about the pain of human experience and Kierkegaard said that there is a time for solitude. There's a time when each person needs to get a loan to be by himself to collect and gather his thoughts to reflect, to meditate we remember how Jesus himself from time to time find it necessary to withdraw from the multitudes in the groups and just get away by himself as so solitude is something we need but we don't want it in large doses. At the same time as we need those moments where we have our own space and we can be ourselves and think still the worst punishment that we can conceive of giving people who are incarcerated apart from physical torture and so on is to consign them to solitary confinement cutting them off from all human fellowship in the warmth of companionship with another person and I think it's also true, as we see in creation that God creates man and woman as sexual creatures, male and female created he them so that there was a certain attraction between the male and the female a certain complementing of each own individual humanity found in the relationship of intimacy between two people million and a woman.

And so there in the garden, God is a special act of creation makes the woman she's not an afterthought.

She's not inferior in dignity to her husband. In fact there something special about the creation of woman. When God sees that is not good for man to be alone. God brings all of the animals and parades them past Adam and Adam is looking for a helpmate. Adam is looking for a partner receives the kangaroo hopping by nieces.

It's not what I had in my right and then God brings is beautifully well groomed German Shepherd and Adam looked at that and he said why he said that is a magnificent animal. I can see how that dog could bring my slippers to me in the morning and a cold night I can snuggle up against my will, one dark night, for there is really cool.

I have a memorial three dog night. He said, but it still does not quite what I was looking incident. God brings this Palomino pony riding down the street in Annas is now that's interesting. I can write on. That would save me a lot of labor can pull my plow gently from one town the next that would be tremendous laborsaving device God. This I don't want to be picky but it's still not what I had in mind. And so God said all right you don't like anything put you to sleep and God puts in the sleep and while Adam is experiencing the first anesthetic day. He has open chest for rack six surgery God takes from his side a rib and he fashions that creates a woman and then Adam awake and he looks at the special act of creation that I don't know what his exact words are but I think they want sobriety saw her adhesive who will rule. That's where the name came from the that's apocryphal I'm making data but I think he was beside himself when he saw that first woman he said it, that's now bone of my bone and flesh of my cash gusted and the man shall leave his father and his mother and he shall cleave to his wife.

God ordained marriage, not as punishment, not his ball and chain bondage. But for human fulfillment for intimacy that the finest expression of what it means to be a human doing in this war, though I noticed that when young people come to me and they want to write their own wedding ceremonies and I appreciate the spirit behind them. When I asked what he want to write your own ceremony. This is because I want my marriage to mean something. I don't want to be an empty tradition. I want to just say meaningless words and sign a piece of paper and have that be that as so I say find this a great spirit. Go ahead, try your hand at it. Be creative right. The wedding ceremony. The only proviso I give is that it must be unauthentic ceremony. All the elements of real marriage have to be there or I can't perform the ceremony and I've seen wonderful wedding ceremonies written by young people I come back with all kinds of creative things but you know there's one thing I have never seen in a homemade wedding survey. I've seen them say everyone acknowledge that marriage is instituted and ordained by God. But I've yet to have a couple express that marriage is regulated by God's commandments which of course is an integral part of the traditional sermon where we acknowledge that not only does God create marriage and give marriage to us as a gift, but when he gives it to us for our well-being. He does not abandon thereby his sovereign authority over marriage God regulates marriage and he institutes it in a certain format. The first thing we have to understand about this regulation is that God creates marriage in the form of a covenant of their friends.

The whole idea of a covenant is rooted very very deeply in biblical Christianity that weave and divide the Bible.we between the old covenant and the new covenant of redemption is based on the concept of a covenant. What is a covenant. A covenant is simply an agreement, a contract between two or more persons and at the heart of a covenant is a promise of biblical terms.

Every covenant had stipulations it had provisions rules if you will that had to be kept for the covenant, the stay intact. And there's something else I wanted to note in terms of biblical covenants in the Bible there was no such thing as a private covenant, a covenant was something that was undertaken in the presence of witnesses only times we heard young people said what I have to go through marriage ceremony say a few words sign a piece of paper with the reserve Bank. Why can't I just have an agreement with my girlfriend friends. It's one thing for a man to whisper into the ears of a woman in the backseat of an automobile for nobody here, sit where nobody is going to call him into account for what he has promised, and the standup in the church or in City Hall where in front of your parents in front of your friends in front of the civil authorities and in front of the ecclesiastical authorities in front of every authority structure in your life. You stand there and publicly before God and these witnesses make a promise you take bottles sacred loss holy the house and you make a commitment that if you don't take it seriously.

Maybe your parents will take you seriously. Were your friends I once was involved in counseling a divorce case that involved the triangle and I was pleading with this woman who was involved in this triangle to break this relationship and return to her husband and she says to me hey whom I heard.

I want to be happy. This is just between my husband and me and my lover. The church does need to be involved and I showed her my appointment book and she couldn't believe it, that I had spoken to and made appointments with 28 people who were directly affected by this relationship. I had to meet with both sets of parents, the children, the next-door neighbor, the friends uncles and aunts employers who were all upset about the city of devastation. It was going on with one broken marriage in this case, this woman's friends cared enough about her church cared enough about her to get involved. She wanted to be a private matter but covenants aren't private and we need to understand that that there's a big difference between whispering something privately in signing a piece of paper and doing it formally in ceremony at a significant moment in a significant occasion where we mark that moment and we make that sacred file.

Then you see we have a covenant.

I say that the marriage is the most precious of all human institutions we have is also the most dangerous.

It's dangerous because it's into our marriage that we pour our greatest and deepest feelings of expectations. That's where our emotions are on the line. That's where we are most vulnerable as we will see in the lectures that will follow this one vessel. We can achieve the greatest happiness, but it's also where we can achieve the greatest disappointments the most frustration and the most pain. That's why if I am going to enter in to a relationship where there's that much at stake. I need something more than a superficial hey yeah I'm committed to all of you stick with me honey because even with the formal ceremonies even with the authority structures being involved were the place now were roughly 50% of those who are married dissolve the marriage and the statistics are much higher if we would ask this question if you had at the do over again, would you marry the person you're married to this tragic to hear how many people answer that question without even hesitating this in no and I realize a minimum stock. But what if I have their reply could just be free, but something has been lost about the sacred and holy character of the vile end of the covenant is regulated by God's is for happiness is also for his cracks and or society. The lack of stability and happiness that we see all around us can be attributed to a great degree, to the breakdown of marriage will hear more this week from Dr. RC Sproul series. The intimate marriage would lead you Georges for Renewing Your Mind on this Monday. I believe Webb and the the confusion. Unfortunately, that we see about marriage today isn't just a societal problem it's crept into the church as well.

And that's why rearing this important series this week at with practical and pastoral care. Dr. Strohl helps us form a biblical view of marriage. We like to send you the full series on two DVDs simply give a donation of any about to look at her ministries when you call us at 800-435-4343 or you can make your request online@renewingyourmind.org and I hope you'll take a moment to let others know they were airing the series this week. You can do that by hitting the sure button on our website. Here we are in June the course of this is a very popular month for weddings or perhaps you have a loved one or friend who's getting married this series would make a thoughtful and enduring gift for them. As with a subscription to our monthly devotional magazine table talk daily Bible studies and thoughtful articles will provide them with a much needed biblical perspective as they begin their lives together to give a gift subscription.

Just go to give table talk.com. As we look ahead to tomorrow's message from Dr. Spruill. Here's a question to consider. Why were Adam and Eve ashamed after they ate the fruit in the garden. Dr. Strohl shows why marriage should be a safe haven for Jane doesn't exist. I hope you'll join us Tuesday for Renewing Your Mind