Blowing Up Rocks

This is Jim Rodham from the masculine jury podcast where we explore relationship and start a religion every week your chosen Truth Network podcast is starting in just a few seconds to enjoy it. Sure, but most of all, thank you for listening you for choosing The Truth Podcast Network. This is the Truth Network welcome to man brought you my DAW CMM talking and walking Christian men's ministry where they are devoted to breaking down the walls of race and denomination and challenging men to take their God assigned role as our host will hardly and Roy Jones Junior, a black guy and a white guy welcome home listening audience to man talk podcasting is a beautiful time to be alive and thankful to God that he is doing great work in the ministry. Roy amen will Hardy it's good to Caesar thought is a bah humbug just based on the start of our sale so that I know that she had to bust too much out of what wheat we we got a great show in store for you listeners. Today we got Joseph warned joining us today and Joseph you are, like life coach, business entrepreneur, dad counselor, you just the all-around guy so welcome to man talk and we want to know our listeners want to know who is Joseph Warren and what you do and how did you get involved in what you're doing will show mostly to the one man listening right now is ready to receive what God wants to give step in avoiding marriages business towards parenting so little bit about me, a boring ordinary guy from up north New England.

I got says still he asked that you now I a lot of people may not scarcely depending on where you were raised and no I was raised on Long Island New York girl.

The people that don't know and was raised in a family of six kids right three boys three girls very Brady Bunch dating myself all there and you know my father is a Marine and a young man you know he went off to war Vietnam war. Recall that and that war didn't turn out the way America thought it would be a one and done shorter than it was turned into 1.you know, American soldiers overseas and my father came home very angry on the inside and you didn't know how to process all that anger because you know he felt out of control he couldn't control his friends dying in front of him he couldn't stop it.

I couldn't control it at the end of the war, when he had to fly again on the double Hilo helicopters to enemy territory and no open gunfire slide on the ropes to retrieve the dog tags off of his fallen friend to so that you could bring that one piece of back to their families of them you notes are for the family to remember them by just imagine all the anger and inner rage burning in spite of my dad is a good man.

Back then they didn't teach our crosses. That anger was a man do with that trauma that PTSD the tinnitus ringing in his years for the rest of his life. He came back and he had good intentions. They want to start a family and raised you know kids and we can use call to be a father and a husband, so he married my mother. She was right off the boat from Greece.

She met her in New York City – is authentic Greek just like the olive oil and they hit it off and six kids later.

You know, life was good. I grew up in a loving home. The reason why I'm going so far back and told the story because I provides contact you have to. I am well one of us find out who we are, based on where we come from right exactly yeah exactly. So I was one of his loving home with a father who had his finger pressed down on the inside but we know that's not sustainable long-term and eventually you know kids we started come of age, and test our boundaries and disobey and disrespect you know things like my dad didn't know how to process data out of control feeling again. Loss of control in his own home. Not that we were unruly by any means were raised like little military soldiers by Marine but he would explode very often this emotional outburst anger and rage and is far more than what the situations call for so early on I got to see a volatile image of masculinity. I got to see masculinity that was out-of-control. A good man with a tender heart but didn't know how to processed the other negative emotion and on top of that in both of you know, that's right you listeners know this, you're ready how we see our human father and how the relationship and experience goes as children is typically how we project is what we project the image of our human father onto our heavenly father, a father who is explosive and judgmental and highly critical. Well, just how I forgot, I surrender the same lands that he was a God to be feared is a tyrant. The dictator one from him when I messed up because I became a young man made poor choices as some of us to all of us to stumble.

I was the prodigal son.

I was of the older brother prodigal son and I made those decisions and choices and I felt guilt and shame and anger, and I wanted to run from God and I did and I looked God behind and I went out into the business world so wanted nothing to do with document God and I applied all that inner anger I left out a key part of the story here at 8 1/2 years old. My mother couldn't take the outburst and the rage in the control of the anger.

All that from my father so she asked for divorce in a loving home turn into a war zone between years custody battle and back then was very dysfunctional.

How they did in the court systems.

I don't know if you member this blog know the attorneys would show up in and the kid I was a nap result. I didn't understand what was going on but my parents love each other. They love me and always on. They hated each other.

I wasn't sure if they love me anymore and they started to pick the children against the other parent. One parent, and it was back then you got to choose your parents spend the rest of your life.

Josie just how we will not happen. They didn't have all my goods, you will wear you in the middle of your sibling group exactly correct before from the top third from the bottom right young boy, I processed you kidding me you're not in love one judge of his adult things you don't understand µ just love each other working but you now here they were, and unfortunately my mom read a lot of feminist feminism books back down and she took it too far and all of a sudden the enemies entered our home darkness enter the home and you know things are coming out of her mouth that no woman should ever say to her one flesh. Well, that is masculinity in just terrible derogatory things about his identity that will suit your needs.

Oh yeah I remember the language to yeah for sure. So, I remember.

And this is not to discredit the parent right because I must honor my parents and I love them both and I forgiven both for all the things that happen they did the best they could with what they had, but there was real consequences to those choices that happen in our lives that got us back as children and you know unfortunately my mother know she just wasn't in a good place. I don't blame her, the enemy took over the government should create an accident. She came in the darkness spread and he spoke through her and over and over again and whispered in my urine after sold your father never loved you it was all a lie is been pretending your old childhood pick me stand will will and Roy Heim.

I mean, what are you doing playwright said so repeatedly and convincingly, that started to feel true over time this is over two years right so you know what I thought to myself. I just don't betrayal anything at first I was introduced to that emotional betrayal was like well if my mother is right in my dad's been lying to me and pretending it loves me but he actually doesn't will and I feel betrayed by and I didn't know what to do with that. I press the down and my mother was lying to me and my father did love me and she was making that up. What kind of sick parents say that they said to the children they actually love now just doing a pressing down point did did eventually you have an explosive moment yourself. You know I didn't have an explosive moment out towards the world. I added internal know and I made an internal command to myself, probably in the subconscious and I made a decision and I didn't know… It wasn't a conscious decision, but years later, after looking back and reflecting and sitting with God in silence and in showing me what was revealed to me was bad at it in half years old when I felt that kind of the trail on both the two closest people in the world to me.

My heroes do not have processes. I made an unconscious command to myself that I would close off my heart and I would never let anyone hurt me like that again. I was never let anyone into that place. I would never love in that way again put my heart out because I never wanted to feel that pain again. The trail, so I made an unconscious decision never to love again any such a young age to that's what's so so so you know an undeveloped mind. Right of note for me as a young boy in any of your listeners can share and resonate with my story is different, but they had a traumatic event in their childhood and their it in order processes because the mind is not fully developed. So what are they do they create a meaning there only meeting my guided to what sometimes is meaningless event and you know they say. My dad love me or whatever were my nobody wants to steer me or listen to me. I remember one time when my dad came I came home from school and I won the heart award for the entire school and some talent God gave me for drawing anything else so proud and I came home just down the block wine and my dad turned and he was on her phone calls and didn't stop me. So I was like what I did. She what I did and unfortunately I'm busy on this occasion busy. I just persisted in. I just push me away and I'm right there I give a meaning that nobody thing I ever say I want to hear those you hold that right now you get to break DAW CMM would love to have you join their community of men for breakfast every first and third Friday of every month, Bible discussions and fellowship and breakfast in town meeting location is in their gracious host Church First Christian Church and Connors will 1130 N. Main St. in Kernersville. It all starts at 630 and they have a hard stop at 8 o'clock.

First time visitors eat for free. Join your host will Hardy and Roy Jones Junior, a black guy in a white guy. Listeners have joined us in the first half of the show. I hope and trust that you have really listen to Joseph words and as he stated many of you listening perhaps could reflect and resonate on some of the things that he was sharing in his unit while he was a boy growing up in home so we want to pick it up. Yeah, just what did you just talk about when your dad was on the phone you are trying to assure reward that you just one for the the drawing that you done in and he was busy in the and I didn't quite pick up I don't forget to share what the tone was was a kid to see him on the phone number is actually real quick example of how his children would undeveloped mind. We give meaning to meaningless events and typically back down. We choose very negative meetings that are very constraining or condemning to ourselves so I walked in a Prada show the art award but my dad was on a very important call.

I had no idea how important it was. So when you just brush me off and said I'm busy.

Can you see right I took it as a personal jig of what I have to say is an important matter fact nothing I say is ever important. Nobody wants to hear what I have to say) creating a meaning a limiting belief that really that into my adult life. Just one insignificant meaningless about my dad on the phone call and I interrupted. I didn't have the time right but that's just one example right so when you start all the useful examples that your listeners have been in your lives. You know, this builds up in us as man and I had all this anger and rage, and I will press it down one after another press it down into my soil and I eventually you know I'm 19 years old I started my own business built a seven-figure business and I took all that in a rage and anger and I pointed it into business and anger is actually a very powerful fuel and business I come like a sniper towards your target nation but it's also destructive in your personal life guides letter very important distinction. So I built a seven-figure business with the fuel of anger at age 19 and then I lost it all one half years later actually that's not accurate I did for 1/2 years. I was a workaholic. I worked under 10 hours a week and no social life tilted made a fortune semiretired because 24 1/2 and then I retired for five years in Scottsdale, Arizona, and I partied it all away busted all my fortune element I and my feet for that matter. I let God nothing to do with my family and I moved out of state. All that and then started over from scratch but I never begin my confidence like a fraud and imposter like my earliest chest was just a fluke. So when was it that you had that turning point in your life to realize that the things that you were amassing without God you know literally has no meaning. Great question. Thank you and you know what it wasn't. There was another 21 I lost it all.

I just felt, you know, terrible. I felt like I had no reason to live. All my friends left when the money ran out my girlfriend and dumped me on my birthday was just like there's really bad and I found myself alone in our land with no money son and before I could come back to my senses. I still needed to fall further just slightly where we had in your relationship with Christ during this journey had developed a relationship. Therefore, we still running on the secular side question. So when I left home and went to the into the business die left behind and now it is worship three new God, the God of money, success and pleasure and I achieved all three pictures all 3M I started using porn Sexton anger to deal with chronic disappointments from multiple belt businesses. After that, after that one early death. I had pens build businesses in Monroe and after stacked and eventually I became addicted especially to the sex in a total loss of control in that area of my life I no matter how much I try to quit.

What a joy during that time. Yes all you know I'm skipping the antihero take his life never goes in a straight line dried squiggly and so this was you know after I have lost everything bottomed out wanted to take my own life. God gave me a fresh start in Tampa Florida moved in with my sister started from rock bottom and then was 10 years of 10 failed business to start climbing back and you know eventually you know that turning point about your original question was when I felt this prompting from the Holy Spirit inside then come spend time with me. Come spend time with me and I wanted nothing to do with God. At that point nothing at all actually blamed him for all the master know in my life even though I was the one I created it with my own decisions, but it wont take responsibility for that work to me and you know I ended up dropping to snag Debbie come spend time with me. Eventually my most honest prayers will and Roy. I looked up to heaven and I was like what what you want to see him busy trying to rebuild my life. I don't have time to spend with you in the prompting. Just persisted in my kept resisting and eventually got so bad that I was like fine. You want to come spend time with God not tell you what, here's the deal is all my bills providing enough money to pay off all my bills and I'll come spend time with you until then I don't hear from you, and I was arrogant and obnoxious and.net be right there in the place of darkness is like the prodigal father if you take one step towards him since he sees the run open on the right day ran demand non-two weeks later to my successful friends want an attorney when a plastic surgeon both hired me for life coaching return never done before and I was so taken back my life correct. Why would you want me to coach but they sure are in one area of my life been connection.

Relationships with girls by barely successful and they were not. They had the money. The other cars.

The houses they had no real connection with other humans. Went home by himself for dinner by themselves, watch TV and I went back to work every day that no one to share life with and the like can you coach just like latte. What you want to coach you is going to be this amount of money and the like. While it's a lot of money and I'm like wow those are big goals three that you want this or you don't waste my time and they said wherein I know they both drove me big checks in with those projects in the little savings I was able to take off for a month and pay off all my bills while two weeks after the prayer was answered my prayer was answered in any of big lesson I want to convey to all the listeners. All the men God is not looking for perfect words, when you pray he is looking for an honest heart.

He wants to hear the honesty even if it shows up in raw and real and ugly. That's what you want. Remember King David prayed ugly prayers to God. He also prayed incredibly eloquent prayers to God old man when he felt God was to keep his end of the deal. He was in his face about it and what did God say about him.

Here's a man after my own heart absolutely Oedipal thing right so as men. So many times we don't get real. We don't get raw we don't get honest with God. We just hide the rock in our heart that block we keep stumbling over them is why we don't have connection with real connection. I never say what's really standing in between us.

It will be a real real with each other's another part of the problem is the automaker how to get real about what our peers and so know eventually. My body called me out because I went and I started parting the money and renting all these big homes and stuff and I was a kid my end of the deal. It online in the body and godly friend that he Joseph told me about like yeah but would like God delivered his end of the bargain, how you doing with yours is there is a punch in the throat.a conscience and I like alright so I canceled my next trip and I showed up at the church. My church right down the street from me and it was a little quiet chapel in the ice out along the wooden benches and I like John. I'm here all commit to an hour day every day for the next two weeks all show up right here if you want to talk let me know.

Otherwise, most of the important and.net be well this is merciful. We start equipment in my life that would godly men and they started to teach me know how to pray differently. These were my Southern Baptist brothers really good man. Then they taught me what it look like a real relationship with God and to experience him as a father not a tyrant and the dictator that is justice is not there by his mercy and compassion always come first and match out there in our day for two weeks in the two weeks became a monster in our day, every day for eight months. I showed up at the church. I sat with God in each field.

All the wounds from my dad, my childhood, my mom and daddy wounds bad mommy wound I had God the father wounds. I had broken relationship wounds. I had addiction in rocks like oldies rock structure had trash right all the speaker spoke about all the rocks I was carrying Don to start demolishing one after another and it was effortless. I just had to sit there and be still and know that he was God and let him do the demolition. Well, what an amazing store Joseph with this conversation up next week. Part two with Joseph and so we roll into and he was asked about 35, 40 seconds want to thank you for taking time with us ensuring your heart story will learn a little bit more next program about relationship with Christ. When that really became real as you is eight months with God when that really became the connector may be made that decision early in life. When we walked away. Everything went way.

We look forward to talking more next week show got Joseph coming back with you with so much joy.

Absolutely Joseph and we also want to talk about to how do you direct at anger. How do you redirect so will be back as we wrap up today show. Be assured that DAW CMM talking and walking Christian men's ministry is building a community of men that are Christ followers with a desire to be servant leaders in their homes, communities, churches and work environments. Check out our website for upcoming events and regularly scheduled meetings, drop us a note for topics to would like to have us visit in the future.

Thank you for joining us on man talk today. Visit us at www.dawcmm.com men walking the talk. This is the Truth Network