Why Do Men Not Want To Go To Church Pt 1

Welcome to mannitol and brought to bride CAPM is talking and walking Christian men's ministry where they are devoted to breaking down the walls of race and accommodation challenging men to take their God assigned as our host will Hardy and Roy Jones Junior, a black guy and a white guy. Welcome once again to man talk radio will Hardy origins and Roy note to Mike subject, we it's a problem with every church that's out there and I question I guess is why men just don't want to go to church. Well it's a great great question. Will we talked about that many times when it comes to Goodman gaze to the other person comes to Monza just don't feel like going. I can think back to my own life with my wife used to encourage me to be come to church with me and the children and I could come up with any number of reasons. The first reason seem to be out always, for some mysterious reason. That was don't feel like going today and you know I've heard I've heard excuses that man would give him wide and I want to go. I don't have a suit. I mean come on man, I don't have now. Now we can understand you know from the standpoint of the women you know I don't have address of that but I don't have a suit is Jesus a come as you are. That's right, come as you are in these days were just happy if you got pants on short or even short, your funds will show up. In short, I had tried most to welcome you as you are. So that's excuses off the day was next. Well some man they like to say that my purpose or when I come to church services like really really really long 45 minutes an hour.

I want to sit here for 45 minutes or an hour. So what you say about well you know that 45 minutes. Makes probably because you're not chasing after God is there looking at what's next of folks and what the guys going to do for that moment but I can assure you somebody offered to go fishing boat or go play 18 holes. Our little ballgame or tickets to the Panthers or whatever team you follow. I don't believe there be any excuses for not making that appointment. But you know because everywhere Jesus went absolutely everywhere he went. He had an impact on he touch lives. And if you are not there. How can you build a family structure. How can you bring yourself to be held accountable for things in the kingdom. If you don't know what those things you need to hold true that Jesus said in reference to held accountable. Whether you noticed a smell, not when God created Adam. We were given dominion and responsibility over everything and that doesn't mean as we talked time and time again about being a dictator that means you're responsible to be the leader but being the right servant. So if you say well I did know what I'm supposed to do. Well that's all new to learn, which is listed guys give us instruction book in the Bible in your part of the fellowship is that you learn how to do it by watching others in modeling it for others to see house was to be done in no and and that's so true because if a man truly wants to grow in spiritual mileage and and in the grace of our Lord and crisis Jesus said then their heart would be a heart for learning and not finding excuses because I mean as a pastor I've heard.

I've heard things like well your message is not relevant what is that me message that that's a good good good question will I think the relevancy is is is all about the timing right is to win your sitting there. Today's message may not be relevant for me but somewhere along the lines can be relevant about the pastors preaching from the word and teaching the word and give us a true definition and clarity on what God was trying to speak to the writers of the Bible and you know that's so true because what happens is you have certain pastors today. They they sorta like preach and the hype. Yet you know they did it when it is like the day expecting the pastor to get them pumped up in the word and you should already be pumped up when you come to service when you prepare yourself mentally and you walk in the door.

Give yourself over to the Lord and say Lord whatever it is you want to work through me now work through me now and not let me depend on worship music or the pastor saying all right.

Let's get up and praise and shout and give God the glory. Well that's that's very good. I would go one step further out cities the start and hit the floor Sunday morning because we all know that Satan is coming after the still queuing the story that starts in disarray of the family kids a fight and try to get ready wife give the dogs start the day and guess what your spirit is not prepared for what God's prepared for you when you walk through the doors of the church so my recommendation is that you may start the morning on Thursday wife before you get started so that you prepare your heart and your mind and getting ready for what God has to offer through the word and that they needed the thing about music we see all throughout the Bible about music that bullet played in the worship and then honoring God, and I think as long as it's just that, preparing our hearts for God's message is not the only reason for going to church or like you said get pumped up and all that sort of thing. I don't think it's great that people get excited about being in from spirit from God and church and celebrating that.

But we gotta remember were there to get closer to him and to draw on that knowledge of her pastor and people around us to get closer to him.

That's right, and what were saying is when I saying that you know the Spirit of God can't move on an individual raise their hands and they just get over with joy and things like that because certain men feel uncomfortable when things are over any emotional you know if you get some emotion in you looking around going okay. What's happening here, and the spirit indeed may move upon somebody just raised their hands or they may come out in the Howland Holy Spirit may have them dancing or something like that into some that might be viewed as what is happening here or they may not have an understanding about where that person is spiritually so they get lost.

Yeah that's a good point. Another excuse for not going to church and was going to church again. We can come of their excuse possible. Will we talked about and I guess in those situations. Most people need to just remember that that relationship is an individual relationship that is your relationship with with Christ and with God through Christ and how he talks to you and speaks to you and moves on you that needs to be for you and the people around you need to recognize that in the same token, we need to be very sensitive and cautious that it's not about us in and we become systematic in doing those kind of things and in the and outward behavior and emotions that maybe does not move us to do this, things exactly in all because we start out and and man in particular, they start out and if there's this overarching burden that they may be burdened down with an and it's time for them to go to fellowship and all of a sudden they they say well you know we can't give any ties and offerings this week because we have to pay such and such a bill as it is a lot of listeners out there who have experienced that I can't.

I can't go because I don't have anything to put into the plate. Well, what you say about that.

Well I think your Scripture tells give with a heavy heart right it's all about gratitude and giving 10% is what God is directed to steal the first offerings and you know I start somewhere. Start with if you don't have a lot give give what you can afford to give in to skit with a happy heart and God will take you through that journey and that's the only place in the Bible, God commands us to the testing writer directs us to test this is to tithe and let him return it back to us. They don't give to receive that he's telling you do your part in the natural I'm going to do a whole whole lot more the supernatural none force in today's time. People made about prosperity gospel we talked about that will units are 11.

You talked about that the two that seems to be a lot of people's direction and motives for getting close to God, but that should be the last thing on everyone's mind exactly because prosperity gospel.

I think it's attractive to people because this is what they want to hear. Now again we're not saying that God don't want to bless you and we will not saying I don't know what were saying is, is that if we get into this mode where every Sunday we are constantly and and note the word constantly talking about money and prosperity. Then what what about all of the other subject matters that Jesus dressed well exactly like serving serving a model B of the servant right you know, looking after the widows and orphans. That's the there's no greater blessing than to do that they could, widows and orphans in need of course the needy in the wind when he talks about separate the sheep from the goats. It's going to be due to the things we didn't do the ask us to do exactly this because we didn't know him because you know him. Then you go to be doing the things that he's asked us ask us to do so will this talk about this thing why men hate going to church but let's talk a little about what's going on with me and it is written to the book pastor men by Patrick Morley to some statistics or to share with the audience. 80% of men are mostly impaired that not only are they unable to express their feelings, but they're even unable to identify their feelings. 60% of men are in financial trouble paying only monthly minimums on credit card balances 50% of men who attend church.

Listen, this will 50% of men who attend church actively seek out pornography that scary it is and and you know some of the statistic you quoted it is some of the reasons why we have not understood what God said in his word and reference to finance so we we get our sales and financial strains and once we get ourselves in a because it's our own knowledge of not knowing what the word of God says in reference to that we fall into the pit and then we say God help me, throw me a little lifeline I get me out of this instead of understanding how to manage your money right how you get there to begin with exactly exactly because anything these things just don't happen. You know you have to sit down as a family and let the let the word of God minister to your heart, mind and soul in reference to what you do with those resources that God bless you have excellent excellent will is good advice for everyman listening here today. One of the thing. The quick will before we go to break in just a moment 40% of men get divorced, affecting 1 million children each year, 1 million children will come back with talk about what that impact the children and how it's affected your CMM would love to have you join their community of men for breakfast every first and third Friday of every month, Bible discussions and fellowship after the best breakfast in town meeting location is at their voracious poster First Christian Church in Kernersville, 1130 N. Main St. encouraged him a hard start at 7 o'clock on a hard stop at 8 o'clock.

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Welcome back to man talk radio and right before the break, Roy. You were talking about how men divorced man and how that number was in percentage. Again, 40% of men get divorced, affecting 1 million children each year in this books a couple years old so there so that members probably even higher will and what's really sad about that is I received your things sometimes happen that seem to be totally irreconcilable Weatherby abuse are those types of things, but as a whole divorces become a convenience.

At times I think people to start the work at the marriage anymore and certainly a lot of times don't have, God is the center of their marriage.

But even some merges with God is the center they're not totally trust him turning over to him.

So they end up breaking apart, but the impact is the collateral damage that we see down the road. It may not see it in today's moment or six months or year from now, but it's 10 years from now when those children are now adults and preparing for a relationship with someone or looking to get married, and the only thing the government knows what's been modeled for them. So men there's a big responsibility either goes back to our talk about you know it's not just what you feel like doing this what God need you to do as a man in the kingdom kingdom man following Christ. Yeah Roy because all of the men that out there listening right now you know what whatever you say and whatever you do is going to affect someone right and in a positive way.

We hope or negative way. And if we don't understand what it is to live like man then what does that say about the relationship that we have with the person who we went because most more than likely if if I have never had a man to model for me. What a kingdom man should be like. Then I'm going to get that information from somewhere else and then I'll end up doing just the opposite of what God said in reference to being unequally yoked and and then I'll begin to carry all of those problems and challenges. Along with that relationship because now I've made the wrong decision and going against what God said and now here I am trying to battle and get myself out of somewhere where I never should've been in the first place because Jesus said in Matthew he said in Matthew to go out onto all the world now. Can I go out into all the world and preach the gospel. If I can't even don't even have a stable home and I have not modeled the way for my son to see me in the capacity of what a real man should be well you know you you could go out will with the problem comes the side of hypocrisy. You know, because people that know you're going to see what's going on at home as well as your son and then they go to going out so some good witness to the neighborhood about you come to church following Christ and lead your family property but yet at the same time with the same man. This beaten him or this pushing his mom around her. This cussing over that said not leave living a holy life. This got the pornography tucked away in the bathroom in the in the sons getting confused as he said mixed signals that so we really can't. You can't model but what happens to the man is not modeled and he says hey I need somebody or some someone to come alongside of me here so I can become that man that God intended it to be so that's where you are your other men within the church community. There falls a crisis come alongside these men and then this will ensure first question is why men take on the church when all of a sudden create the fellowship that may be outside of the church to start with that man may say hey I like what I see in this relationship and this God thing. And I'm going to be a part of this community. It is a move forward in seeing that leads into one of the questions that I had down here on one of the reasons why men hate going to church is that it's the lack of male bonding fellowship and men's discipleship right you know most men, most mammals elements are some that don't like sports or never been in service will have those kind of drives but every man somewhere with a strong pillar of the week pillar has that warrior instinct so that that piece of fellowship that piece of going to battle together with us on the football field in the rugby field or in a foxhole it's naturally bonding and that's why God created men.

That's why he wants us as the protectors of our families and the warriors first kingdom and and that's just the way it was designed so there's a that I think partially in Limon express.

There's an innate hunger, deep down inside of us that God's got it sparked us to fellowship with others look Jesus modeled it with the 1200 for three years media. Most of us can handle the tone for the day, much less a weekend and think about three years to hear Christ is got 12 those guys hanging out with you for three years. Think about the fellowship in the bond how special that was, not just with Christ, but with those 12 men.

The course later become 11 as Judas falls off the chart with think about that and you know that's that's powerful to because when used book about man and you spoke about warrior that I don't know woman out there who don't want a warrior as a husband right you know someone who's going to protect, defend and supply those needs that need to be done in the family.

I don't know woman after she don't want to wind up letting you know she wanted warrior and so having that warrior spirit can only come from the word of God and so we have to see what Jesus did and as you stated earlier how he modeled a lot of things for the disciples to follow. Even though there were times that the disciples had doubt themselves. Then Jesus Christ dispelled that down and see meant man have doubt.

But again, Jesus can dispel that doubt. But you have to be in the church so you can understand what the word of God says and how that particular word is going to relate to your life right will look at Proverbs 356 right chose Laura thought Hartley not only on one understanding in all your ways acknowledge him, he will guide and direct your paths.

So were in that moment of doubt were in that it sees this as I just don't see it God you just got to trust him in the you trust every day. We got to the car school start trusting the things you can't see that you know going to happen every day. Here's the creator of all this got his arms wrapped around you and he's can take care of this problem. He is going to these going to bring you to the forefront. And let's be clear, begin a warrior doesn't mean being abusive. It doesn't mean being a mean person. It just me standing on the standards and that means guarding that family is the headship of that family and leading by serving your wife like she is the next best thing to God because she supposed to be Christ as lover. We told the word lover like he loved the church right and gave himself up conditionally and died for her. So the best sense of what were say. Men want you to do list. Get back to thing that why the hate going to church right so mean. Think about this menu think will church is for wimps and churches got a film in the piece to it that this doesn't appeal to me anymore. Well the reason it may be geared more towards the ladies is because we've been absent absolutely absolute so naturally it needs to cater to the people that are part of it. So men, if you want to see it changed and be a little bit different than you need to be the one else my could be a little bit different, absolutely, don't sit on the sideline complain. You know that and that's it. We we have a lot of complainers we have we have just little groupies you know in the church to who they silver to the sideline and they formed a little sex and clicks.

Let's just call it what it is now because these things only hinder the development of the church Nana body as a whole and we we are commanded.

Hebrews 1025 forsake not the assembling of yourselves together in the manner of some isn't so much the more as you see today approaching now if if I am going to understand God and build a foundation off of the word of God and I am absent from the church. It is just like you said earlier then the church is going to be built off of the ideals that the women bring to the church because they are the ones coming right so therefore the men will feel even less connected as time goes on exactly in and see there's a gender gap in the church today. We talked about this in the past.

There's the gender gap in the church. The church is made up roughly 62% women, 38% men. And that's not just a US standard of a few weeks. God stated the least in North America that was with Herbert and do some more research is not just in North America instant global issue some parcel a little bit lower but it still global issue so church that we got a problem. Men, we got a problem we gotta get you reengage a guy get you participating at this point about clicks is great point will I think often times we don't recognize it so I these are frenzies of people we hang out with was the same people you go off with the weekends was to ballgame camping whatever you're doing, but then those that don't have the same interest or left out is not intentional but I think we gotta be, since the before to try to be Christlike.

We look around us. It's okay, who's not part of this we never see these kind of events or outings, or how can I get on this person's terms meet them where they are and men would just make an excuse some time at and when when they know that they are not a part of something they'll just make it make excuse and say where these guys going to go hunting or they don't go fishing and I don't hunt and fish so you know I'm going to be with the granddaughter today began so I won't be able to make it so. So I think this is part of that excuse of not wanting to come get another another reason another SWAT medic on the church, will you, we've got to figure out what the recipe is not think the recipe is meant we gotta be part of the solution and not sitting on the outside looking and say what's wrong with it. So it's good. It didn't happen overnight. Didn't get to this point overnight will go to build a help make a change. If you get engaged because man let let let let me be frank with you. There is a lot of imperfect people in the church. So if you come become a part of that, then you'll just part of that and project success on that. That's right big and so we are learning and building together off of what God status right so men seek a church that preaches the word teaches the word and hold you accountable and challenges you to be a better man of God and were excited about what the show has to bring to you as a man of God, and even if you got a church return speak to you as well, and we may have correct this topic. Next week will consensus is not one will easily cover 20 segments. This is definitely a hot button topic and so here we want to come back to this when Roy has sought once again I'm will Hardy the black guy and I'm Roy Jones Junior is a white guy and will see you next time on man talk radio. Thank you for joining us.

We wrap up today show.

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