Total Togetherness | Part 2

Listen closely in Rogers years the importance of healthy communication in the marriage, and our tongues. So much of the marginal. I'm reminded of Winston Churchill and the lady asked how they were married. You'd be grateful for lab one time Winston Churchill so infuriated lady asked her. She said if I while I put arsenic in your duty as a madam, I can assure you if you were my wife I would gladly drink that's railing for railing that happens in homes welcome to worth finding featuring the timeless lessons and insights of beloved pastor and Bible teacher Adrian Rogers God's plan for marriage is for man and woman to become one flesh totally together as one in order to be this intimate men and women must have constant healthy communication part one of today's message Pastor Rogers began to share four steps to total intimacy in marriage. We must understand our differences as husband and wife and give thought to the other in how we communicate. If you have your Bible turn to first Peter chapter 3 will begin in verse seven with part two of total togetherness.

Here again is Adrian Rogers, Howard God's holy word play center in first Peter chapter 3 the moment were going to begin writing in verse seven where talking today about husbands and wives, and the relationship of husbands and wives in the title of the message is total togetherness. That is how to achieve intimacy and marriage to find out that the Scripture is addressed today primarily to the house because I believe it is the wives who desire intimacy more than the man and we men sometimes are so pardon me, fellows, stupid. We don't understand the needs of a life and really our own deepest me. All right, let's see what God's word has to say about how to achieve that unity and marriage. I began reading here in verse seven.

Likewise you husbands that he's already spoken to the wives and minivans to speak to the husbands and he says likewise he husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife. As unto the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers be not hindered.

Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion, one of another one of his brethren, be pitiful, be courteous not rendering evil for evil or railing for railing, but contrariwise blessing, knowing that TR thereunto called Dave he should inherit a blessing. I go back to verse seven and look at that word well. Husbands well within the word well in the Greek language literally means the house together to live together in the same house account.

Greek words which mean house and we are to live with in the same house that is intimacy literally means letting somebody else into your life.

Now, dear friend marriage comes to its fullest is happiest is most wonderful state when we achieve total total togetherness, total intimacy and marriage. I see in our passage before us for things for status total intimacy total togetherness and marriage, and the very first of these is what I want to call all now the Bible says here husbands well with your wives according to knowledge that is well with your wives thoughtfully according to knowledge.

Actually, we could translate this way live together in the same house with good saints literally lived together so the Waco dwell in the same house with good sense according to knowledge that Jim and I want to learn that a woman is different from a man other than merely physically different. She is psychologically and emotionally different, and God made her different purpose. She is designed differently by her manufacturer. God made her different from you and if you try to make her just like you are. You think that you give to her exactly what you would like to make big mistake friend she is different. She's equal to you, but different. We need to learn that equality is not sameness God made her different and you will learn to just about your head up big trouble matching for five ways.

The woman is different from a man if you're going to live with your wife.

According to knowledge, you're going to have to learn these ways that she is different and she's different by design.

For example, God has designed the man to be the leader on the initiator and God has designed a woman to be responsible. Over and over again. The Bible says the husband is to be the head of a life that is the head is what initiates the hand is what gives leadership. The man is designed to lead the woman is designed to respond and therefore the man is to be the initiator take the analogy again of Christ to mature.

We love him because he first loved us. God is the one through the Lord Jesus, who has initiated that love and correspondingly, God has made the mail to be the initiator and God has made the woman to be the responder now this doesn't mean of course that the man is the boss in the whole, but it does mean that he's the lead and most women have a sense of insecurity when the husband does not lean second if not only should men and women realize that different in the fact that the man is to be the initiator and the woman is to be responder, but men and women think different men tend to think logically. Women tend to think emotionally away just a moment like this. I'm not saying that the man's way of thinking is better. It is different.

I am certainly not saying that the man is smarter than the will, but they come at problems differently and a woman many times will leave with her emotion at those you need to understand that about the female psyche. Joyce tells me Adrian Dole listen to what I say listen for what I mean. That's frustrating it really is what you have to bow man won't objective solutions to problems, but a woman when she's faced with a problem. She'll think about the people within that problem and begin to care for them is not to say that men are not emotional and women are not logical. I'm talking about.

However, a basic instinct in the nature of human nature. Let me tell you again the difference between men and women now man because he is goal oriented looks for success but a woman because she is relationship oriented.

She looks for security.

Therefore think about a man sees his job as an extension of himself.

I mean, the man can hardly separate himself from his job if he's failing this job. He has a great sense of lack of self were entities achieving in his job. He sees himself because he is goal oriented as being fulfilled and were some but the woman, the woman sees her home is an extension of herself, and therefore, if a man pays no attention to the whole.

The woman is going to feel that the man is really rejecting her guys when we fail to fix the little things around the house.

The leaking faucets we fail to do those things that she's been asking to have done over and over again. It's not the leaking faucet is not the door that will close good.

It really bothers her. It's a way that you have said to her I really don't care about your life and the things that pertain to you and we need to understand that while manner, success oriented women are security oriented. Nothing wrong with either one.

God put both together because we need to go now husband needs to learn more about his wife and he learns about his automobile, dwell with them. Number one, number one, thoughtfully.

Okay according to knowledge. It literally means live together good sense number two dwell with her, not only fully but dwell with her, thankfully.

Thankfulness is the second key the total togetherness look at the Scripture.

Likewise you husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor to the wife you see that what it means to give her honor it really means to express appreciation for your mate. That's it.

To give honor means to set something aside is having great value. Somehow you have to get across to your wife that you value her that she is worth to you that she is attempting you that she is God's priceless gift and therefore you are going to grant her the respect due to her and position in her life, and you must give this honor. If you don't give it to our great place in her life is going to be void lectured children here.

You praise their mother is one of the finest things you can possibly do. Her children praise her and her husband also rises up and gives her on a Proverbs 31 says and you to do that in front of your children praise your wife before her friends never cut your wife down in public before her friends. It's humiliating. It's degrading. If you have a call to pick with her. Certainly you can do it at home in a loving confrontation give her honor right let her know how much you value or how much you appreciate her.

How would you like To go out and hire somebody to do what your wife does. If she is a homemaker. You think that you would just find a person offhandedly who could do these things to be a meal planner and nurse a counselor comforter, policeman, and the judge to settle disputes between the kids a wardrobe consultant of budget and financial planner a teacher or tutor a cheerleader, a spiritual advisor and nursery worker, seamstress, a cocoa made a gardener and administrator interior decorator and chauffeur and a historian in all of these things that she is a confidant or companion, a lover and advise and encourage your partner comfortable. She's all of these things happy is the man who learns how to express thanksgiving.

Nothing will do more to intimacy in a marriage, then for you to recognize those character traits and achievements in your wife and give honor to her. Now let me mention the third thing that she needs and she needs it so much.

Not only does she need this thankfulness, but she needs trust fullness she needs to know that you trust her recognize her for her work to give her honor, and therefore you trust or listen to the logic. Likewise you husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge. All right, that's thoughtfulness giving honor unto the wife. That's thankfulness. As unto the weaker vessel and as being heirs to gather all the grace of life._This phrase heirs to gather all the grace of life. You know what that means.

That means that there is any quality in your lives that you both as husband and wife have an equal inheritance listening. You have an equal inheritance before Almighty God in Christ there is neither male or female Jew nor Greek bond or free. Your old one in the Lord Jesus Christ and she needs to know dear friend that you have that fullness of her that you trust her and the way that you show her that you trust her.

Is that your transparent with her absolutely truthful that communication is constant and she can feel free in such an attitude of trust that if there is a fault in your life that she can confront you with that fall without fear of your retaliation or fear of your anger. She needs to know that you value her opinion so much that you will consult her before you make any major decision and let me tell you, let me assure you the mark that you really have his trust was you know what it is the one Mark that you trust your wife is that you pray with her Bible says you to dwell together as heirs of the grace of life that your prayers be not hindered. There is nothing that will put intimacy into the marriage. There's nothing that will show priceless. More than one husband and wife trust each other so much that they're so transparent that they can pray together.

Mr. when you prayed with your wife.

You know what you're saying to her ear saying there. I recognize that you are a spiritual creature.

I recognize your great value before God. I recognize that you are equals before God. I recognize that my job and my concern is your spiritual welfare. I value you before God and I so trust you that I'm able to be transparent before God, because you cannot play without total transparency.

I value so much that I'm willing to pray with you. You know why so many husbands find it hard to pray with their wives because dear friend, they are not willing to be intimate.

They don't know how to open up.

They don't know how just delay themselves before God and will get all before God and will tell God things we would want wife to know why we don't trust her.

Not that she's not trustworthy, but we just simply do not recognize that we are heirs together of the grace of life, free to open today and close today with prayer as husband and wife is a binding together a bonding together that God wants.

How sweet it is, as to become one flesh. They enter into that intimacy, prayer, malice and focus. Peter knew what he was talking about because he was inspired by the Holy Spirit. He says you dwell with them according to knowledge that is fullness with together with good sense and then he says give her honor Betty's thankfulness and then he says you are heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers be not hindered Betty's successfulness as we pray, one with another, and pray one for another. Let me give you the last in these ingredients that will make a marriage super glue marriage and that my dear friend is what I want to call tenderness tenderness notice he says here in verse seven that you are to give honor unto the wife.

As unto the weaker vessel, but weaker vessel now women weaker than men while they outlive us. They control most of the well. I really do in the world's amazing wire they call the weaker vessel. I think that the reason that woman is called the weaker vessel is in the very word here itself.

It actually has the idea of being a more fragile fabric doesn't mean it's worth less majors worth more your wife is a very fragile me she's inferior when the Bible says to give her all, as unto the weaker vessel. She's a very delicate creature cheese to be handled with tenderness, tenderness, and friend. If you put thoughtfulness and thankfulness and trust fullness and tenderness together, you're going to have that total togetherness you're going to have that intimacy that's going to make the physical act of marriage, all the more beautiful but you will never achieve real intimacy.

Without these other things.

Now he goes on to tell us how to be tender. He enlarges the subject to include the entire church but he certainly includes husband and wife when he says here.

Finally, be all of one mind, having compassion, one of another, love as brethren beat to the full. Be courteous not rendering evil for evil are railing for railing and our tongues get us in trouble so much in a marriage, don't evil for evil railing for railing. I'm reminded of Winston Churchill and Lady Astor while they were married. You'd be grateful for lab one time Winston Churchill so infuriated Lady Astor.

She said if I were your wife. I put arsenic in your tea. He's in Mdm. I can assure you if you were my wife I would gladly drink it. On another occasion, Lady Astor found Winston Churchill any been drinking. She said he said that's right and you're ugly they said. Tomorrow I'll be sober.

That's railing for railing that happens in homes when glad Churchill and Lady Astor were married related disaster. But what we need to do is to take God's plan here for this tenderness. Look at it here.

He gives us a very wonderful plan.

He says here. First of all, compassion. You are the word compassion means is what tenderness comes from our English word compassion means to feel with you, put yourself in your wife's place and feel with her to suffer the say I understand and I care. And then he says love as brethren, you say was she's not my brother wanted me. It means that not only is your wife to be a sweetheart she is to be your friend. This is friendship, love somebody wrote these words. Somebody asked me to tell the time our friendship stopped in our love began oh my darling. That is the secret. Our friendship never stop. And when you fall in love. You don't fall out of friendship.

All the love as brethren, be pitiful.

That means when you hurt I love you my drawings. I love my own body beat. That's where tenderness comes from.

Courtesy is is simply loving the little things that kind of courtesy you had for your wife when you open the door when you took her out on a date when you stood by her chair and would see her when you would rise when she would come into room use walked past and touched her shoulder and smiling different lists.

God's word is so so gentlemen, I want to challenge you in the name of Jesus to do these four things to put these ingredients in your marriage. I want to begin old bottles. Thankfulness trust fullness and tenderness and you see of God, then do something in your matter and you will well together as one flesh in your home will become a little colony of heaven was an encouraging message to think about the day and all of your relationships, you know it. Love worth finding. We love hearing how the ministry in the messages of Adrian Rogers have inspired you in your faith journey. If you can go online to LWF.org/my LWF story. There you can submit your own testimony or read others who shared their stories with us. We often select stories to be shared through our love worth finding community and you can remain anonymous if you'd like we can't wait to hear from you again go to LWF.org/my LWF story. If you'd like to order a copy of today's message in its entirety. You can call us at 1877 love God mention the title total togetherness. This message is also part of the insightful series superglue for the family with a complete or message collection. Call 877 love God or you can order online it LWF.org/radio where you can write us at love worth finding box 38, 600 Memphis, TN 38183 you may not know. You can also purchase our new Bible studies, much like this message in our online store for information on that. Go to the website LWF.org/radio. Aren't you glad God's word gives practical insight to reach total togetherness and marriage. If we communicate thoughtfulness Thanksgiving trust and tenderness can reach total intimacy. So glad you decided to join us for today's message to the next time for more timeless truths from Adrian Rogers right online word of our Facebook friends wrote this. Not long ago I just wanted to say I enjoy listening to Pastor Rogers is amazing and I learned so much about God from thank you for all your work will hear love worth finding. Our mission is to share the truth of the gospel so simply anyone can understand. That's why when you donate the ministry this month would love to send a copy of the powerful book is stored in the timeless teachings of Pastor Rogers. This book will help you learn practical ways to increase your head and heart of Jesus request a copy of his store. When you call the gift. 1877 love God. 1-877-568-3463 or if it's easier give online it LWF.org/radio.

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