How to Cultivate a Marriage

What is the root of our nation's deepest problems and listen to Adrian Rogers what the problem is in America today.

The problem is in the family — the focus the problem is primarily with the house.

That's a problem in America.

We want to point fingers somewhere else. But the problem is that we have not understood responsibilities and kingdom authority in the home. Welcome to the love word find master teacher and author Adrian Rogers said we could never be over those things that God wants to be under until we get under those things that God has put over us in order to learn how to grow and nurture a healthy home, we first need to understand godly authority.

If you have your Bible turn to Ephesians chapter 5 will begin in verse 23 is Adrian Rogers reveals how to cultivate a marriage would you say God's word and finding Ephesians chapter 5. Please add just a moment. We got a look at verse 23 and then rated a look at some more versus what I want talk to about kingdom authority in the whole and literally headship in the home.

Some of us are disappointed in our homes. Somebody is said that the difference between courtship and marriage is the difference between the pictures in the seed catalog and what comes up bribes. We need to learn a little bit more about how to cultivate a marriage look, if you will please in verse 23 for the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church and he Christ is the Savior of the body and the husband is to be like that to the home matter what the problem is in America today. The problem is in the family MAI sharpen the focus the problem is primarily with the husband, Stu Weber said the problem in America is failure in the highest office of the land that office being husband and father.

That's a problem in America. We want to point fingers somewhere else. But the problem is that we have not understood responsibilities and kingdom authority in the home. We need to see as follows, as husbands, as dad's our responsibilities not our rights. When the Bible speaks of a husband being the head of the home that's not speaking of his rights is speaking of his responsibilities. Marriage is a covenant not a contract if you think of marriage as a contract to go to be looking for loopholes ways to break that contract. But marriage is a covenant between a man a woman and God and brings with it. Awesome responsibilities with three major responsibilities that they would headship in the home, but I want to say to the husband that if you do not exercise the kingdom authority that God has given to you.

Your home is not going to be a wonderful home.

Your marriage will not be a magnificent matter.

I want to say to our ladies you do not understand your proper place. God assigned responsibility in the home you going to miss an incredible blessing limiting what those three major responsibilities are that the husband has, as were talking about kingdom authority and headship in the home. The first responsibility that the husband has is this, he is responsible for servant leadership not chosen put those words together. Serevent leadership. Those words are not exclusive. They go together when the Bible says that the husband is the head of the home. It does not say he is the dictator's says that he is the head that does not mean therefore that he's a top sergeant using the Bible as a club rather than the sword to beat his wife over the head with.

He is the one who is responsible because they had of the church, Jesus Christ drew had the husband is to be the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. While I want you to think about Jesus was the head of the church.

That is, he is the sovereign Lord of the church is your Lord, I would ask your question.

Has Jesus Christ ever ever forced you to do anything but one time.

And yet Jesus is the head of the church and he is the Lord of my life if I know my heart I would die for Jesus Christ and yet he is not is not the dictator of the church. He is the head of the church and this is what husband needs to be now you see headship means to have responsibility and so if you as a husband say I am the head of the home being your wife good to be submissive to you listen has every right to look to you to meet her every need that she has as a wife in the home resume.

She's to kowtow to you. It makes you responsible to meet her needs. Just as the Lord Jesus Christ is responsible to meet the needs of the chart where so much of the chain of command is not primarily a chain of command. It is a line of responsibility to be the head of a corporation as we have some here today means that you are responsible for that Corporation is a key verse are key verse put it in the margin first Corinthian's 11 in verse three not listen to, but I would have you to know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man and the head of Christ is God. Now if you put that verse right down along Ephesians 5 verse 23 you have it all figured out by now listen the Lord Jesus was a leader that served John 13 verse 13 Jesus is washed his disciples feet. He is the Lord and Master Henny says in verse 13 he call me Master and Lord, and you say well for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet why I have given you an example, that ye should do is I've done a view Mr. you want to be the head of the home.

Wash your wife's feet. That's the way to be the head of the home. Jesus the Lord and Master set the example for us to see what is headship. Headship is responsibility. Assume not primarily chain of command.

It is a line of responsibility. You stick out your big chest you say well I am. They had a home. I know my right you may get in trouble marriage rights like traffic rights. Somebody wrote these words.

Here lies the body of Benjamin may, who died defending the right-of-way. He was right content right as he sped along but just as dead as if he were wrong. Now Mr. you get in the answers trouble just staking out your chest and say I am the head of the whole, now home needs ahead and the Bible says that the husband is the head. He has responsibility and I've told you before that anything would know it is been anything with two heads is a freak.

God has put headship in the home and that is the husband's responsibility that does not mean at all that the wife is inferior to the husband. Everybody knows that a woman is superior to a man and being a woman, man is superior to woman a big man, but in Christ we Galatians 3 verse 28 there is neither Jew or Greek, neither is there bond or freemium is a male or female, for your all one in Christ Jesus wanting Christ's body quality does not mean sameness frame.

God made them male and female in the beginning and why did God make us different that he might make us one, that's why. And the devil under the guise of making a sequel is try to make us was saying. But the Bible is I get she man and he women a man is a man, a woman is a woman and God created that. And God made us different. But God did not make us unequal husband is the head of the home. It does mean is superior to his wife. His wife may be superior to him in many things. My wife disappeared me many things. I freely confess, she made much better grades and I made Siri on her record.

She's she's smart and everything but the choice of men when I was a teenager she beat me in a better speaker's tournament. My church is it doesn't mean that one is inferior want to superior when God is put headship in the home when the quarterback calls a play that doesn't mean he's inferior to the running back just to has to be somebody call place we all going in the same direction and who says and calls the play. The coat says that the husband is the head of the home Almighty God doesn't mean that the husband is superior to me that the wife is inferior, but there must be authority. You know what we having today we are having some crazy thing called mutual submission that is absolute nonsense that other times when you may submit to her and she may submit to you on certain issues. That's not the point. But mutual submission on any point is not submission at all, let me take what Adm. Rickover had to say. Listen to it.

Responsibility is a you meet concept it can only reside in here in a single individual, you may share it with others, but your portion is not diminished. You may delegate, but it's still with you. You may disclaim it, but you cannot divest yourself of the if you do not recognize it or admit its presence. You cannot escape if responsibility is rightfully yours.

No evasion or ignorance are passing the blame can shift the burden to some one else unless you can point your finger at the man who is responsible when something goes wrong, then you've never had anyone really responsible and I'm telling you gentlemen in the home responsibilities on the husband will not and you cannot dodge a major problem in America today is not feminism and rebellious wives gait is slacker husband not doing what God called him to do about husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church and that is loving, serving leadership a leader who Cerner's. Now remember, no man can be the head of his home abilities under the headship of Christ. If he's not willing to be under what right does he have and what expectation does he had had the anointing and the power of God to be the husband that God wants them to be. Here's the second thing is responsible for the first thing serving leadership got serving leadership okay here's the second thing sacrificial love, but I didn't say just love I said sacrificial love hiding Sage's leadership. I said serving leadership what is sacrificial love what how you to love your wives look if you will, in verse 25. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for.

That's not mere love that sacrificial, to love Joyce I am to love Joyce as Jesus loved the church and he died for the church.

What kind of love is sacrificial love will number one. It is passionate love is passionate love when I'm talking about passion. I'm not talking here about the sexual passion, that's a part of marital I'm talking about something far deeper than the I'm talking about a motion and commitment that comes from the deepest part of your being.

You are to love sacrificially. That is, there is nothing, nothing too precious for me to give up for my wife except my relationship with God nothing. I am her husband. She is my highest love on this or apart from the Lord Jesus. Jesus gave himself fully cherish what is a man know is why passionate love, but not only passionate love purifying love. Look, if you will. Now in verses 26 and following.

Why did he do it that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be fully and without blemish. Jesus loves the church without passionate love, and with the purifying love as a man to love his wife. What responsibility does he had was Christ is pastor, priest and prophet to the church. The husband is to be prophet, priest and pastor to his wife. He is to intercede for her Easter teacher is deleting her peers to protect her spiritually. Look, if you will, in verse 28 sought mental otherwise as their own body. What you do with your body you protect it by Mama sec, who does not care for his own body. The home is sick. When the husband does not protect his wife Peter tells us in first Peter chapter 3 verse seven that the wife is the weaker vessel doesn't mean she's inferior. Gold is weaker than steel is not inferior silk is weaker than blue denim is not inferior is more fine and more fragile. This more intrinsically beautiful. God made you to be a man of steel he made her to be in want of no but he made her as the weaker vessel and you need to protect the wife not only physically not told you before, I'm not the man I used to be. I might not be able to do it but if you touch my wife. If I cannot put you on the ground so quick you will know what happened because God has given me an instinct to protect her. But not only protect her physically. My responsibility protect her emotionally and improve contact her spiritually. Did you know that Mr. that Satan can get your family was asked to come through you as you the hidden door. Keep God made you to keep the majority. That means to protect you can rob a mentor strong man's house except to first bind the strong man and Satan was to get your wife and your children. But if he can go through you we can get them easily. But if you stand at your place where God is put you when you're the protect you say the white men, I will have what it takes. I'm glad you recognize that that's all the more reason that you, as you assume your responsibility must understand that you have to be under the one who is going to assume his responsibility to take care of you say you can't be over until you are under the here's the last and final thing. What does responsibility me. What does headship mean what is the Bible means when it says in Ephesians 5, verse 23 that the husband is the handle wife even as Christ is the head of the church. It means serving leadership. It means sacrificial love and it means stand fast loyal stand fast loyalty. Look, if you will, in verses 30 and 33 for we are members of his body obvious/of his bowel seats talk about the church in Christ. You see, that's the reason the woman was made from Adam's side because he is teaching us that she is a member of our body. Just as the church is taken out of the wounded side of Christ woman was taken out of the wounded side of man, and so the Bible says, for this calls shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall be joined under his wife and they too shall be 1/this is a great mystery but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself and the wife see that she reverence her husband will this calls a man will leave his father and his mother and cleave unto his wife standing pass loyalty that if you the head of your wife as Christ is the head of the church, let me ask you question when is Jesus going to walk out on the church is Jesus going to walk out on the church. He will know a man in today grabbed man alter my calling, not contract the covenant and then they walk God have mercy you say will I owe it to myself to be happy you award to God to keep your promise you will do your wife again be your wife. You owe it to your children you say would be better for the children while just the children back. Why just the children about to say. Well I have prayed about it and God told me it was all right. You're a liar. God does not transgress is where walk out on your one lover is Christ love change. The husband is the head of the why servant leadership sacrificial love stated that loyalty, we begin to live that way and men get under the authority over them they can have the authority to God is put under them and wise can submit to a man who is willing to die for her and shows it by the way he lives for her and homes will be what God wants them to be one more time. 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