Strep Triggered Something Far Worse For Their Son

This program for you as a family caregiver and he will give you strength for everything you go through those my wife Gracie from her city resilient. What hopefully caregiver.com to see more of what she offers in her music and everything else that escaped her resilient through all of these years I get to meet interesting people along the way here and I got a a recent message from a listener, and insulin reached out to be an told me their story and I really wanted to have them on and just share listen to their heart as they share with you things they've learned along the way as caregivers is a husband-wife caregiver with the special needs son Shelley Citco and her husband Chris joined us and they are were glad to have you here Shelley and thank you for joining the show I say specialties is not a S not accurate.

He's got some significant disability issues but it's a different diagnosis is that correct correct Prayer near Mark Taylor Carter and that started about wind when he was held [extract and crack cocaine and extracted hit Central America and in the court that week a lot to validate a walkie-talkie that hand and had a lot and I have not looked at them at Rayner.

My thanks I got pretty fun and in your other son had strep as well but no residual impact from that it was just got strep and got better with this one did not did not write the ever did you ever get a good reason why not now. Actually, we never really did they call it an dairy form and meaning that genetic secondary thing, meaning that the strap actually for whatever reason, like the Cadillac that started this whole process going from a group where the cord was wrapped around back in the provision will believe a man on the mayor of the that must've been very very difficult launch into this journey of caregiving she does add it because it's one thing to have something that you can you wrap your mind around and said okay I understand.

Knowing my case Gracie a car Rick okay that makes sense.

This is one of those things where this is like a conundrum to try to figure what happened and then you get to a point.

I guess where you just upgrade but what happened to just do with what is that of peer assessment are not apparent that I now weigh. We spent six weeks at Children's Hospital.

Back then, and not we were living in Colorado at the time and I can vaguely remember that night where on. I just kinda late and bad kind of reaching out to God and crying out a lot of the "why" questions and at that point we still don't have an actual diagnosis. We knew what it why think it was in a brain tumor on any did not meningitis because the final She had at that point we still didn't know why. And we certainly didn't have a Y but I do recall typically going okay guide we don't have to. Now the what are the why we get To know that you're in with that and not matter what were going to be okay and that that night I had a lot of peace. So yeah Chris you want to add anything to that will follow to your cooking to the rubber roof in our marriage. Critically low of about a year prior to reconciled our marriage and got a solid foundation part of occurring this extraordinary interest because of so many marriages crumble when there's a disability you think the figures are almost 90% of marriages with disabilities. The family and this particular journey brought you to back together and that's a little astonishing event that happened and but always I was struggling with. I don't know why I don't know what I don't know what I became comfortable saying okay. I don't know why it's okay now I think I'm becoming more comfortable saying I to know I still have it in me to be able to understand it even told and not not dissuaded by the that doesn't cost me to kind of freak out everything to just realize okay God has a purpose and a plan in this and I'm willing to trust you guys are always in the same position you're willing to trust it with this and what does that look like for both of you meet Chris with them.

Start with you. What is that look like would you trust God in this. What is it look like for you to review up because it had not been 20 years… Okay month that you would be only for the roof of life at that time we would've been told that you are so grateful to be only good enough to handle.

At the time we have no idea about this. Don't know how long the last temporary wooden nosecone but something about because he only we could go straight. I think that's son of his mercy that he doesn't just share with these things with us but he but he does assure us of his presence wasn't suffered mentally long time ago that the that word is a lamp unto my feet, he said, is not a searchlight and and I spent so much time trying to peer into the future not realize that this is this is where I am right here today.

This is it in Scripture says that over and over but I didn't want to take that it but there's something about disability that forces you into that place is that of is that a fair assessment Shelley for you and your forte into an X-rated non-invited to the party called your life and certainly I will actually that I had no idea what we are going to pay think they know whether Wendy delicate. Talent know what tomorrow holds about what we do know that God's grace is sufficient and sustaining to meet at exactly where were at and not have the discovery we had over and over and over again throughout this entire journey and that is really where peace comes from and on telling rocks our world on rock camp and it didn't come as a surprise to him.

Even though you now. This week, and got punched quite a bit in the last because of its faithfulness because that the early day because in every way, leaning into him on why I think our marriage had been able to drive on why our family is thriving and growing and maturing on and really why a candidate during a quality doing this now for over 1/4 of the century and do something about the longevity and the relentlessness of this is not something that just kind of reached a plateau and okay we got we got it were good know it's it's it's a relentless journey of challenges, but there's when you have the kind of longevity. It changes some things in you and as you guys now are seeking to push out into other folks and help people along the way, you will sometimes think he was probably pretty lonely for you guys know in my early years, many of I was up there just to foraging and there wasn't anybody really knew what to say. You guys are now being those people that know what to say and what to offer to other parents particular going to the sings the couples that are there marriages or freight in disintegrating even, and you can come alongside with with the gentleness and quietness and confidence and tell me little bit about what you're doing with that Shelley Walker one thing and we got always that we trust and rest in God's great let's not kid ourselves. I had not been graceful in this journey. As far as me managing all aspects and what do I mean by that. Yeah we we live in a constant state extract on me. There's a lot I know a lot of things outside of our control. We had a lot of disappointment on a lot of things didn't work out the way we wanted him to answer is not working for me personally that ticket. All I actually numbed and medicated my motion difficult things that I really didn't want to deal with because I was so busy caring for Ajay and her family and went and medicated it with food and so over the course of time on what I once was able to control it outside of my control.

So here I am strong faith resting in the Lord spiritually strong and physically extremely weak because I was battling all the issues that collect carrying a lot of weight on my body. But note that with emotional way to manifest itself with unhealthy eating habits.

So for me it was then journey really helps journey home, and I believe that all caregivers allotted at least my. And but talking with people and a lot of bad habits can develop over the course of time simply from coping you talked about enduring and persevering and the way I did a lot of that with self-indulgent include and so for me getting to quickly help me with really the biggest heart at this journey and how did that has kind of birth and ministry to other people and on as I don't think people realize that typically when were not feeling our body properly on were really now we don't have the bandwidth to show up to our day the way we want to and that landed itself to a lot of emotional frustration and bitterness because like I said I would not mean those difficult emotions and pushing them down but what I wasn't realizing that I was pushing down the difficult emotions and just pressing on right doing what I needed to do to care for Ajay. I would just surviving the day and I was pushing down all the good you get to call it comfort food for recent arrests that we deal with this caregivers is screaming for relief and so many caregivers gain weight. This is this is a consistent with so many family caregivers be like us to lick myself a broken family tree on the picture fell off the wall that talks about whether were talking with Chris and Shelley Cisco and that he or veteran caregivers been doing this for long time of the just one thing to say will be right back religious figures from the CDC approximately 1 million Americans were injured annually as result of falling on ice and snow up in Roseburg as a caregiver for my wife more than 35 years.

I understand the importance of helping someone with a mobility impairment get in and out of the home safely, particularly in inclement weather and that's why this winter.

I'm using heat track the snow and ice melting mats that you just plug in and they provide you a safe walk with your garage to your mailbox to your deck to your business. Whatever the need heat track has a mat that will fit that need and make sure that you can get him safely during snow and ice.

You don't have to plow you don't have to shovel and you don't have to worry about falling because you're walking on something that is safe and secure and try this winter. Let's stay out of the emergency room.

Let's make sure were safe. Go to heat track.com great gifts will during incumbent whether let's stay out of the emergency room and enjoy the winter. Instead, go to heat track.this is the program is a family caregiver is Gracie rusted out with joy. The Lord is our strength in here is a couple that were talking with the day that really gets this, and they've had to walk these painful things that I don't know that you can really embrace the joy of the Lord, unless you abandon the things you thought would bring you joy and grasp onto him and that usually is a pretty painful process that a lot of times God uses suffering and disability at all these other things to carve out the the the false joys that we think we could have informed before we went to the breaker showing talk about how she was medicated with food.

So many of us have been in that snare, and there are lots of there's no short shortage of medications. Other whether it's food with six weathers, alcohol, drugs, whatever work will find something to fill that hole to ease that pain to number so that we don't have to ache anymore. It is counterintuitive to do what were talking about today, but there comes to that week we cover that place where we finally just followed her knees and recognize that all of our efforts have been in vain and we start seeing the promises and the provision of God in ways we never saw before and this is where this couple is today.

So Shelley appreciate you being vulnerable sure about that. A lot of people feel shame about things. Whether it's whatever doesn't matter what the comfort is they don't want to just come deal with it in isolation.

You come along and say you know what here's what I did. Here's what I'm doing.

Here's where I'm going and you can go thereto and that's that's incredibly inspiring to other people to let them know that they don't have to figure this out by themselves or other people that are walking on the street, glad to give them a hand to two that's what you're doing.

If people want to find out more about what you're trying to do, and engage with you on this. What is the best way for the way we have a Facebook group on that week started at birth from my journey at all caring for me to because I wanted a big thing that I think happened is a lot of country by that thought that to care for.

I is something thing and when I learned if it's a necessary thing.

It wasn't a luxury for me and so caring for me to kind of birth from that one way that people can reach me. I'm also at health coach on basically again paying it forward from the journey that I would sign and so on.

I have a website that you can reach me on my Facebook page. Shelley snaked out and you can kind of see what were up to very well and no spell spell it out." Our last name is tricky, but it is very high TKO.

My first name is Shelley.

I think ELLY will one person with a tricky, listening to Chris and let me switch over to you little bit you. You're an engineer by trade were correct your engineering mind which I always admire. I do not have one but your engineering mind must of approach this thing from a much different perspective is that a fair statement will showing degree, and she worked for quite a while before until after the close engineer so accommodation of those two. Go really help us troubleshoot a lot of things for to try to figure out what about after four, and physical needs novel, but the government with different really needed to be with grace and I look at her since she's a singer so none of the skills we could see conflict through the tears, but it's you guys had a very very strong complementary set of skills to deal with this and then again goes back to God's provision. This something you know that caught God by surprise, and is one of the long-term policy was felt like a caregiver. She she found the program to try to move away and now she's trying to help other people like I got my wife but I knew earlier on I got my wife back in such a beautiful thing to see her shining her. She loves helping other people put your shoes all suppressed away because of new traffic on a much more healthy emotion. It's really interesting though that you are in a career as an occupational therapist shows that you wanted you professionally wanted to help people then you were taken down.

This would look like a big diversion from your goal and you ended up now in a situation where your even more equipped better focus to help people in the even more substantial way than you ever dreamed. I think that's astonishing to watch how that works out. But it is up to somebody at the base would you do it all again and I said well I have enough problems with reality another take on the hypothetical. That said, I like the way right now like the way I speak like a way to play the piano. I just hate how I got here. It doesn't resonate with you to it all felt like nobody went to me when I tell everybody about it what it took to get from point A to point B to that foundation that we currently have on I would do it all over again. The same thing with AK God doesn't. None of our suffering purpose when and not you know obviously that the path that allowed I believe in a sovereign God who allowed it. When I walk. All again to get this.

Oh yeah, I like this person and this person isn't perfect.

This person has embraced her imperfection. But this person also on this is what got you using to bring glory and honor to him and that I have no regrets that is that is beautifully said and I heard a great quote from a long time ago. He said he was a carpenter and he doesn't even waste the sawdust I just I just cuddle that just stuck with me and that would add another thing he used to say was a God is the greatest junk collector in the universe he just he collects things that we think are joking, discarded, or whatever, and he make something beautiful. I like the old Bill Gates or something beautiful, something good all my confusion. He understood all had all for him was brokenness and strife. The base of the beautiful life and this is what's it's so be apparent in the two of you will what you say I want to put you on the spot little bit that's all it is your tough you can handle it.

What changes you have seen in Chris one that later).

I had really stepped up to that play on Karen and I talked about moving from surviving to thriving. But what I think in hand, that he is driving down anyway and he airs on loving act.

– Never in all of my struggles and all of my emotions always just kind of resident to never judge me for it always supported me on yeah I just had seen him become much more of a godly and pathetic godly man that that's that's a wonderful tribute.

You know, I know a taste of what it's like to go through these painful places couple it it takes your marriage is hard enough you use lower relentless disability. There becomes excruciating but excruciating is the Latin word that was invented to describe the pain of the cross that invented worth the pain was so bad that they had invented word of and yet this is what Christ asked us to do was take up our cross and follow. It is painful to for these things to happen. And yet I have found great comfort and solace and strength and endurance, and fortitude of those things that don't sell real will.

Everybody was to hear escape and feel.

But we keep we veteran caregivers know that God's strength and endurance for us. His mercies are new every morning. We know that Apple tub to make every kind of mistake you can.

When you're the wood near the Wiley Coyote of caregivers like I got another and drop the soap. What's Chris what's next for you and they would we only have about it to the breaker but what's next for you both showing over the lock to lock your regularly drink the word were learning how to tap into each one of those help stop learning. Both not come alongside the coaching as well and learn brand-new aspect of how to do that together with the children were really horrible about other as we go into coaching others is very quickly at how people can reach Shelley telling her my caring for me to pay conversation with you what I thank you very much this is Peter Rosenberg. This is hope for the caregiver caregiver.com will see you next. Some of you know the remarkable story of Peter's wife Gracie and recently Peter talk to Gracie about all the wonderful things that emerge from her difficult journey. Take a listen Gracie. When you envision doing a prosthetic limb outreach.

Did you ever think the inmates would help you do not million years. When you go to the facility run by course of and you see the faces of these inmates that are working on prosthetic limbs that you helped collect from all of the countries that you put out the plea for and their disassembly sell these legs like what you have your own prosody and arms in order to seal this makes me cry because I see the smiles on their faces and I know I know what it is like someplace where you can't get out without somebody else allowing you to get out the hospital. These men are so glad that they get to be doing is one thing said something good with my did you know before you became a PT that parts of prosthetic limbs could be recycled had no idea I thought Peg leg. I thought a wooden legs. I never thought of titanium and carbon legs and flexibly the legs and all that. I never thought about. As you watch these inmates participate in something like this, knowing that there helping other people all providing the means for the supplies to get over there.

What is it do you just on the heart level.

I wish I could explain to the world. What I see in here and I wish that I can be able to come and say the this guy right here in East Africa with that.

I never not feel that way out every time you know you always make me have to leave. I don't want to leave. I feel like I'm at home with them and I feel like that we have a common bond that would've never expected that only God could put together. Now that you could experience with what you think of the faith-based programs and courses. It offers I think there is absolutely awesome and I think every prisoner out there have faith-based programs because the return right of the men that are involved in this particular faith-based program and other ones like it, but I know about this one car is amazingly low rate compared to those I think that that is with me just has something to do with God. Somebody help want to donate use prosthetic live with a loved one who passed away or you somebody well groomed.

You donated some of your own for the please go to standing with God/recycle we