Divine Guidelines for Marriage

Like every other area of their lives.

The Corinthians had managed to botch up the area of marriage, it fouled up everything else. There was no reason to believe that they would make in this area.

So Paul writes in chapter 7 deal with their misconceptions and behaviors in terms of American's bachelors degree and she got her masters and then there's the child or describe marriages to adults coming together to yell at the same kids.

Obviously some humorous definitions there, but the truth is many in today's culture. Don't know what marriage is supposed to be in. There's nothing funny about that.

Thankfully the Bible shows you exactly how God designed marriage and what your relationship with your spouse should look like. You'll see that today as John MacArthur continues his study here on grace to you titled restoring marriage and here's John now with today's lesson.

Divine guidelines for merits divine guidelines for marriage. First Corinthians 7, 8 to 16 and you know it's difficult in our world. I think to maintain a marriage to maintain any kind of a lasting relationship. And unfortunately what we experience is not a historical phenomenon that is new it something that is always been around, and if you go to first Corinthians chapter 7 you'll find that there was a terrible problem existing in Corinth and it dealt with the whole area of marriage and that is the problem to which Paul speaks in the seventh chapter, the Corinthians, didn't really know what they should do in terms of marriage or at least a part willing to admit what they should do and pose some questions to Paul about it. The first verse of chapter 7 says that you wrote on the me concerning these issues and he proceeds to answer them. Like every other area of their lives. The Corinthians had managed to botch up the area of marriage, it fouled up everything else. There was no reason to believe that they would make it in this area and so Paul writes chapter 7 to deal with their misconceptions and misbehaviors in terms of marriage. They were confused over whether it was right to be single and whether necessary to be single if you're gonna be spiritual or whether it was right to be married and necessary to be married if you're going to be spirit.

The Jews in the congregation because it was an Orthodox Jewish belief would have propagated the fact that you had to be married and if you weren't married you are out of God's will and you were to be excluded from heaven on the other hand, there were many people who had a rather growing fascination with celibacy and they were more concerned with remaining single as a spiritual value. In other words, if they were single they would be able to give the got a higher devotion they would move to a higher plane of spiritual life. If they were married and there were some who would go as far as to say that sex of any kind was a was, if nothing else, certainly a misdirection of effort and could well be channeled and the area of service to God rather than attachment to wife or husband. Some were saying the truly devoted Christian wouldn't marry at all was carried so far that truly devoted people who were Christians were saying we ought to get a divorce in order that we might better serve the Lord will split up or if they wanted to stay together we will draw ourselves from all physical relationship. No more sexual relations in our marriage will just devote ourselves to God and not get dragged into those physical thing so all kinds of problems and confusion ruled the marital scene court and they wrote Paul asking for answers. Basically, the questions were the is marriage a command. You have to be married to please God should single people then marry or is it more spiritual to stay single and are you are more devoted Christian if you're not there. Another question that came out of this is should married people who become Christians that abstain from all sexual relationship and should a Christian married to a non-Christian divorce that non-Christian in order not to have a mixed marriage, and unite Christ with a pagan. These are the questions and the seventh chapter really clearly answers these questions now.

Last time we look at verses 1 to 7 and we saw in verses 1 to 7 general principle regarding merit and what Paul said by way of a brief summary as this marriage is normal marriages for the majority God has made us to merit. Marriage is good, but marriage is not an absolute commandment for everybody because God has, according to verse seven.

Given some people the charisma or the gift of being single. The ability by the Holy Spirit to totally control sexual desire and if that's what God's gifted you with in your singleness is a unique gift of God and to be used for his glory.

So marriage is the norm isn't commanded, it is an absolute, but it is the norm to avoid fornication, sexual involvement, you should get married but for some who have the gift of being single. That's a special blessing of God and should be maintained because it puts you in a position to be used by him in a very unique way. So there is the general principle. Marriage is normal.

Singleness is the exception. It's a gift of God. If you haven't done it something you hold to and cherish as a special gift from God now takes that principle in verses 8 to 16, and applies it the four groups four groups first group is the single people second group is the people who are married and both are Christian third group those married to an unbeliever who wants to stay forth group those married to an unbeliever wants out as a group want to see how he applies the principle those who are unmarried and widows verse eight I say therefore that is therefore meeting on the basis of the principle laid down. I say therefore to the unmarried and that is a general term including bachelors maidens, divorcees, I say to the unmarried and especially to the widows because of course they had a unique situation having been married, and knowing all the joys of marriage and having been separated, not because they wish to be. But because of death in the trauma that that brings.

I say then to the unmarried and especially to widows is good for them if they abide even as I it's good to be single if you're a bachelor that's good if you're a maiden's never been married. That's good. If you're a widow or widower. That's good. There's nothing wrong with that and good means beneficial excellent and just good is it wrong don't listen to those Orthodox Jews were saying if you're not married you're abnormal and you know we tend to fall in that category we find some poor young person is about 28. We want to play Cupid all time. You've got to get there. You can't just go through what you've got to start looking. We want to push these people into getting married, that God may have given them the gift of celibacy, and if so, then maybe being married is in violation of God's very best for their life. There are some things in this world that single people are needed to do. It's all right if you've got somebody was saying I've got a get married you can help them. But if somebody just and they need healthy, but but if you have somebody who has no interest in that and they feel that God has given them the gift of being able to control sexual desire outside of marriage, then let it be that way and God will fulfill in a very unique way. He simply says here, it is a good thing for them if they abide even design a course at this time Paul was single.

He may have been married since marriage appears to be a necessity for a member of the Sanhedrin, which he once was. It is however likely that his wife died before he was converted and his time of ministry for Christ was always as a single individual is best we can tell and so once he had been widowed if that is the case indeed then he maintained that because God gave him that gift that charisma of celibacy that ability to be single and not to be preoccupied with sex and merit was a good thing. But in verse 25 now concerning virgins are unmarried people.

I have no commandment of the Lord.

The Lord never said anything about the unmarried never told anybody get married. We just spoke about the marriages that already existed.

No commandment yet I give my judgment is wanted obtain mercy of the Lord nominated some relation to this, I suppose, therefore, that this is good for the present distress. I say this good for a man so to be. Are you bound your wife don't seek to be loose. Are you loose my wife don't seek away. In other words, I guess he would from a just a practical standpoint in the world you live in the sexually messed up world of Corinth. It might just be to your advantage to stay the way you are if you're single that you stay that way. If you're married, stay that way for sure, but verse 28 says if you marry, you haven't seen the Virgin Mary.

She has no sin to get married but it might be to your advantage to stay single. Nevertheless, such shall have trouble in the flesh but ice. I like the spray the trouble of marriage bring in the does bring trouble. Don't make a big issue out of marriage if it is a necessity for you. It's all right you won't sin. But if God is giving you the ability to be single cherish that ability because of its lack of encumbrance.

You have a special way in which you can serve God as kind of an exciting thing. This is a very special gift that renders you capable of serving God in a very unique way. I realize that there are pressures in being single especially of all the current emphasis on marriage and the family and you kind of feel like 1/5 wheel and I was reading the times where they say that the holiday season.

It's worse than ever single people, particularly single parents feel really left that there's no need to feel that way. If God has given you the gift of celibacy of God is allowed to be single for the time except that is his plan. There's nothing wrong with being single. Paul advocates it you know Jesus had a conversation with the disciples out a short you Matthew 19 in which they concluded that it would probably better to be single in Matthew 19 Jesus is talking about marriage and is giving all the things about marriage and and how that you're not to put your wife away except for fornication, and so forth and I forgot that with all the speech and the Lord really laid out some strong guidelines for marriage verse 10, Matthew 19, his disciples, saying to him if the case of the man be so with his wife.

It is not good to marry. In other words, man with all that going to be better never to get married to begin with. Yes, Jesus said, but all men can't receive this saying, except date, of whom it is given and here the Lord indicated that it would be fine if everybody stayed single but anybody can handle it and he gives us the introduction of the concept of the charisma of verse seven first Corinthians 7 that you have to have a special gift to be single and not be preoccupied with sex now being single opens up all kinds of potential for you to serve the Lord. We should never take somebody who is content with being single and force them into a situation where they think their they're not fulfilling. I have to get married isn't true. If you're unmarried or widowed.

It's a good thing and you can stay that way. That's fine. You have to get married but verse nine if they can't have self-control. Let them marry for its better to marry than to burn. If you can't handle being single get married I were talking about Christian.

Some of you may say well I don't have that gift, but I can't seem to get married in the truth of the matter may be that you have sinned in the past you have violated the principles of God.

So you're not in a position that our God is been a bless you with marriage or maybe you've disqualified yourself by former marriages and sin. And so for the soul but just taking it from point blank zero. Let's say you're just a new Christian or you're starting out here is God standard. It is good if God's given you the gift, but if not then Mary and I believe that assumes that God will provide a partner. How could God command you to marry and not provide apartment, but listen to me people. If you're not the right person will never meet the right partner as the whole key. If you're not the right person you'll never meet the right partner. So, still looking for the right girl start being the right man and girls instead of looking for the right man struck me in the right woman and then the right man will recognize the right will and so let the marionettes and Eris comparative command, get married, it's better to marry than to burn if you're going around just leaving on the inside with desire, then get married it's and there's no point in saying well I'm remaining single for the cause of Christ. That is, that's ridiculous.

There is no value in that it all your burning the sexual desire present tense continues to continue to burn, then please get married. Marriage for one thing will bring about the fulfillment that physical desire noise never cease to amaze me some couple work on immunoassay a John we just got engaged. No other real excited kind of funny looking face and how you get when you get engaged sort of happy but apprehensive and showing the ringing well when you get married. All where were going to get married two years two years now.

I hear that or or a year. We have to wait till we get some money or solicit is better to marry than to burn. If you go through two years like this. There is no point in it.

Once you've made that commitment. You put yourself in a position to be tempted and to see your spiritual life just fade away. Once you've made that Val get married marriages that help you in that area. There is no advantage in long engagement was in parents when your kids come home and stay there and get you to get married get married fax well do we want you to wait in finisher four years of college and grow. You know you do for the time there engaged destroy their spiritual life because they can't control is the desire because the commitment is already there.

See Paul is saying is fine to be single and if you have the gift of celibacy. Don't anybody push you into get married but if you decide to get married let everybody push you into it yet though. Mary, your singleness is excellent. You say well you know I don't have the gift but I'm just waiting for the right partner worldwide. How do I control my desire. In the meantime, what's a fair question and were not really approaching that problem this morning to give you just some hints that I thought of how can I as a single person who is waiting for the fulfillment of my physical desire waiting for the right may how can I control myself. What here are some thoughts that you can expand number one to be channel your energy through physical work and spiritual service. Redirect yourself to good physical work in spiritual service.

This gives your energy an outlet.

Secondly, don't seek to be married seek to love and let marriage come as a response. People are always wanted to get married will marry the wrong person more often than not, but people were seeking to find the fulfillment of love will marry the person they fought a lot with those seek to get married, you know, that's when you go out and you go home and really take care, Nolan sees a on this be on this Wednesday to check a mops while he's close enough. I'll take him if he asks what you're doing. You see as your letting Mary to be the issue rather than the right person becoming the issue seek to be loved than the love not to be married. Worry marriage will take care of itself certainly let go of a sex mad adulterous world of what I mean by that is, watch what you absorbed of the system forcefully program your mind the divine reality program your mind.

It's amazing what your behavior is a direct result of the programming of your mind with divine fruit fifth recognize that for now. God has chosen for you to live without sex and recognize this. There is no temptation that is taken you but such as is common to man. God is faithful will not allow you to be tempted. What above that you're able, but will with the temptation make what a way of escape.

You may be able to bear. Six. Avoid potentially dangerous situation. That's like Joseph, he just ran seventh. Thank and praise God for the state you're in a be content you have to approach it from these standpoints. I fall then says if you single great began handle equipment so there is no command that everybody has to marry or that spirituality is being singled out art second group and here comes practical advice to those who are married to a Christian. This includes most of us.

We have Christian husbands Christian why was he say to us. Verse 10 and 11 and under the married nice having other Christians, because he speaks to the ones that are mixed marriages. Beginning in verse 12, so we know that here he speaking to Christian you'll see that in a minute.

Under the married I command, yet it is nigh. But the Lord, let not the wife depart from her husband, not to the married. We said that in Rome there were at least 40 ways to get married right in the Roman Empire slaves living intent, companionship, law, marriage will be called useless marriage were was sort of by the wife. You pay a certain amount and then it was the great big con sorry audio noble type married by whatever form the Bible.

This is whatever way it is now the issue is and how you got into it, but the issue is, stay where you are.

If you're married look at it I command you. It isn't really me doing this. The Lord has given us the word on this let out the wife depart from her husband and here he simply say Jesus already had some say about Matthew 532 Matthew 19 nine and Mark, 10, 11, 12, all three of those passages are Lord Jesus Christ says stay married.

Do not divorce. Notice it says at the end of verse 10. Let not the wife depart the word depart is a technical term for divorce don't divorce your parties, it will why would you Christians want divorce, one corn you see they were saying well. Celibacy is the only way to go.

Once you become a Christian, you gotta drop all the physical part. You've got to devote yourself to Christ. We will now divorce and separate and give ourselves a guy Jesus.

Forget it. Don't divorce. There is no divorce tolerated among Christian God hates divorce Malachi 2 I hate putting away God's I hate divorce.

He condemned the Israelites. He says you have done treacherously against the wife of your youth. You're divorcing one now some of the Corinthians that already done too late to Corinthian Christians. They decided to get a divorce for spiritual reasons: can you imagine how that would run if the Bible says you may get a divorce. If you want to devote yourself totally to the Lord you imagine what would happen everybody be used that excuse to get rid of the part of it want well we are divorcing for spiritual reasons. The truth of the matter is you been trying to shatter for years. He just found a verse to prove that you know like so a guy doesn't allow that there must be a continuous union note, let not the wife part but some had already done it. Summit already got verse 11 but if she does depart, and that assumes it somebody in Corinth that already done too late starting.

One of the consequences letter remain what unmarried singular rest of her life, or be reconciled to her husband only two choices of Christians divorce. They either stay single.

All the rest of their life but they come together again to reconcile County had a footnote very important for Paul here is not dealing with a case of adultery that is foreign to his discussion in cases of adultery listen to me divorce was allowed among Christian where one Christian commits an adulterous act, God allows for breaking of that marriage bond Matthew 532 I say to you, whosoever shall put away his wife, except for the cause of fornication and that can be sexual sin of all kinds, except for the cause of fornication causes her to commit adultery. And whosoever shall marry her that is divorced commits adultery except for fornication, no divorce, but in the case of fornication. God says there is divorce. Matthew 19.

Nine. Same thing and I say, whosoever shall put away his wife, except for fornication, and marry another, commits adultery. The only ground that Jesus ever gave for the dissolution of a marriage was sexual immorality, and when that occurs, there is the right to divorce that is very clear, even the case of Joseph your member that in in Matthew one, Joseph was shocked when he found out that Mary was pregnant never that because he knew Marion that was totally out of character for her to be pregnant. He knew he hadn't done they had no relationship, Matthew 119 Joseph, her husband, being a just man not willing to make her a public example, was minded to divorce her private was Joseph had every right to divorce Mary if she had become pregnant by another person, and the Bible says Joseph, her husband being a what kind of man just man, a righteous man listen, he acted righteously in a desire to divorce a wife would committed adultery I found out that she had wonderful story was the Holy Spirit, conceived within her Christ child.

But you see it is a justly to put away a wife for the cause of adultery or for a wife to put away her divorce her husband for that because only that, but in this text. First Corinthians that is not the issue for any other reason that there is no tolerance of divorce noses ball apart from sexual sin. No divorce if you've done it already, then you have to stay single.

The rest of your life, because that union that one union was never broken your stuck single all your life or you can be reconciled to her husband, and you can be sure, in the case of real obedience that they would do that. Second, it was still possible that he reverses it in verse 11, and says let not the husband put away his wife as well as the wife not putting away her husband was. He said to be singles good stay single.

If you have the gift you're married to a Christian stay married and fulfill every aspect of marriage.

The physical we talked about in verses three through five.

Don't deprive one another sexually fulfill every part of marriage fulfill to its limits, disease, grace to you with John MacArthur. Thanks for being with us. John is the pastor of Grace Community Church, East Chancellor of the Masters University and seminary and his current study is called restoring marriage will one thing I'm noticing through this study is that God says a lot about marriage. It's a key theme in both the Old Testament and the New Testament. But John the Scripture also explain why God created marriage in the first place, and what marriage may reveal about the character of God when in Genesis we read there were created in God's image. Part of that image in there a lot of aspects to it, but part of that image is a relationship because God is the Trinity, father, son and Holy Spirit, so to be created in God's image means to be designed for relationship and that's why marriage is called the grace of life is to reflect in its fullest sense the image of God. It is also for the purpose of procreation is also for the purpose of purity, so that one is not tempted to sin and sin in an immoral way. You need to have your own wife, and your own husband. But God's design for marriage also is to produce a generation of righteous people that that is why you know way back in the book of Deuteronomy the children of Israel were told to to basically raise children and teach them to love the Lord their God with all their heart, soul, mind and strength.

In the New Testament were instructed to bring up children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

So for all those reasons God has designed Mary Jenny has designed a unique role for the husband and unique role for the wife not to be confounded or confused or reversed. This is so confusing today that I think it's time for us to to offer something free that has had a very great impact for really decades now and it's a book called divine design more deeply concerned about the state of marriage. The indifference to marriage that's manifesting young people in the confusion of what marriage is manifest in the culture and the difficulty that some married people even have in getting along so the book is divine design. It gives you everything the word of God has to say about marriage and what a marriage could and should be and how it can flourish. The delicate issue of women and the role they play the idea of male leadership and strength and what that means. If you've never contacted us before we will send you a free copy of divine design is a way of introducing you to Grace to you and of course it's available for those of you who are part of our family very reasonably priced order a copy of divine design today, particularly if your new will send it to you as a gift. Yes, we will, and I am not sure if there's a more practical resource to help you understand and live out the unique roles God gives to men and women again will send you the book called divine design for free. If you've never contacted us before get in touch today. The number here 855 grace or go to our website TTY.org, whether you're preparing for marriage or you are a newlywed or if you been married for years. Divine design will show you how to make your marriage what God intends. It lays out a pathway to blessing in your home and with the discussion guide in the back. This is an ideal resource to go through with a small group. If you have never contacted us before call us for your free book 855 grace or go to TTY.org.

Now if the biblical teaching you here on grace to you has helped you better understand what it means to obey Christ at home on the job or in the church, or if someone you know has come to faith in Christ. After hearing this broadcast love to hear your story.

Send your email to letters TTY.you drop a letter in the mail. Grace to you. Box 4000 panorama city, CA 91412 L4 John MacArthur. I'm Phil Johnson encouraging you to join us tomorrow when John continues a series restoring marriage another 30 minutes of unleashing God's truth one verse at a time on grace to you