God's Pattern for Wives, Part 1 B

When you follow-up God's order. Everything gets messed these people who advocate the working independent non-submissive wife call on her pride and, sadly, sadly, said non-submissive wives and mothers contribute to lost children.

Delinquency lack of understanding of God ordained roles.

They are not in results of the housewife is an illegitimate profession. The choice to be a family maker is a choice that shouldn't be, well, you'll find today's message offers a slightly different perspective. So stay here as John continues his most popular series, the fulfilled family and John before we look at the subject of family, you know, every month there are people I know that you interact with in a personal way. Wherever I go I meet Grace to you listeners and I know you do too. It's great to meet those people whom we don't otherwise get to see. I know you be the first to say those people. Our listeners are really like family to us.

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I say well if you listen to Grace to you you you do know me do that is me.

That's me through. In fact, you have the privilege of knowing the best part about me, which is the teaching of the Word of God. Remember I was talking to my son. Marketing is a little Gothic was junior high and he said to me, sitting at home. He said you know dad when you get in the pulpit you're really special. But he said the rest the time you're not really so special that I know what he was trying to say happens when you teach the Bible that kind of put you in another category and you can figure out why I was not so dynamic at home. The honesty of a kid.

Yeah so I understand that I I fully understand that and I love the words of the apostle Paul who said you know we need to share with our teachers and all good things and there's a reciprocation there and when somebody writes me a letter summary send me a card somebody give me a phone call attack store meets me somewhere and says thank you for your teaching. That's that's that's a profound blessing to me and that's kind of the family feeling. That's a we rally around the world that I know why they say that I know exactly why they feel that way because of the what the word of God has done in their life this month were offering a free study guide to those of you who are part of grace to you. It's a classic Grace to you series called spiritual boot camp did you hear what I said he free study guide and that's our pattern every month, year after year. We offer a free book or free CD.

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Get in touch today right to get on our mailing list, call toll-free 855 Grace one of our customer service representatives will take your call and make sure that you're receiving our monthly letter and I'll have the rest of our contact details after the lesson, but right now, here's John MacArthur to continue showing you the fulfilled family. The only hope for marriage is to be obedient to God's word and to be empowered by God's spirit we submit mutually to each other being more concerned about the other than we are, our selves more concerned about the things of others than our own things looking not on the things which concern us but the things which concern others.

All of that we learn from the book of Philippians chapter 2 so the general spirit of all relationship should be one of submission and then in particular wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord in Titus chapter 2, there is some instruction, beginning in verse three, and running down through verse five that supports this concept of submission and listen very carefully to what I say now it takes the concept of submission to your husband and extends it to the range of home duties, it starts to unfold the duties older women it says in verse three are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips not enslaved to much wine teaching what is good and obviously they teach the young women. According to verse four that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, that comes first love. Not purely in an emotional sense, as we talk about falling in love the bells and whistles you know but live in the sense of self sacrificing devotion to the privileged duty which you have been called under his leadership and protection to love their husbands to love their children to be sensible, pure workers at home kind being subject to their own husbands for a very important reason that the word of God may not be dishonored now in verses 3 to 5 you have a series of short commands, very brief, but with immense and far reaching implications and what is at stake. What is at stake is the word of God not being dishonored wherever you see this women's liberation movement assaulting the church. The first point of attack is the word of God is in it. They assault the Scripture. They twist all these Scriptures they they shift them around, they reinterpret them. They've got all this revisionist interpretation and it goes from there to the worst where they even produce Bibles where the name of God is she your she/he the politically correct Bible, but always women in the framework of Christianity who want to move out of their God ordained role must assault the word of God. And it's not just that direct attack which is being referred to here about an indirect one that comes by way of the fact that when women don't obey what the word of God says. Then those people watching that and knowing that will conclude that we don't think the Bible is really that important right so the word of God is dishonored the word of God is diminished as to its importance. We don't want to do that, ladies you want to follow these patterns for the sake of your own joy. For the sake of the blessing of God for the sake of making marriage. The grace of life that God intended it to be and for the sake of showing the watching world that we obey the word of God because we believe God has given it is binding and the source of blessing. A lot is at stake when women want their independence. They wreck the marriage and they ruined their testimony diminishing the word of God which Psalm 138 two says God has exalted to his name Betty for Dan way back in 1963. One of the early leaders of the feminist movement wrote a book she told women in this book leave home and go to work and was adamant and it was really kind of the bomb that popularized the feminist movement. 20 years later, no less than Betty for Dan wrote another book.

This was called the second stage in it. She said this she said feminism has failed and I urge you, working women to leave work and go home 20 year experiment failed still failing miserably. She started something with so much feminine machismo in it. It's almost unstoppable in the number one symbol of women's rebellion against God's order is the independent working life over 50% of all women are in the workforce over 50 million working mothers. Most of them were school-aged or younger children, and fact, nearly half of the women with children under six work two out of three because the younger women lead the parade in these working trends two out of three children 3 to 5 years old spend part of their day in facilities outside their home. Two out of three women have abandoned the home they're fighting for their independence in the society at has come behind them with tremendous tremendous support. I think just in this came into my mind of Hannah says in first Samuel 121. Her husband, El Canada went up with all his household. Offer to the Lord. The yearly sacrifice and pays about he was just going to the temple to carry out his annual religious observance, and he asked Hannah to go and I didn't go but just a trip up and back. She said her husband. I will not go up until the child is weaned literally in the Hebrew until the child is fully dealt with. She would even go on a trip if it would in any way hamper the attention she needed to give to that child, the abandonment of the home.

The abandonment of the children. The isolation of the woman is the independent working woman. Of course escalates the already cursed and hammered union we know is marriage for lease Swarts in working woman magazine rights. When the children of today's current generation of career women are themselves emerging from their teens. The polarization of sexes that put women in the house at the nurturing end of the spectrum, and men in the office at the work end of the spectrum will have disappeared, and with it, all the stereotypes and of course we know that the US government offers tax credits for those who hire babysitters so they can go to work. Marriages are being abandoned.

Families are being abandoned. The results are absolutely devastating. These people who advocate the working independent non-submissive wife call on her pride. They appeal to her self-esteem.

Her pride they appeal if you will to her sin telling her to leave her slave role and gain some dignity as a real person. They appeal to her lust for material things they appeal to her already strong desire to dominate and sadly, sadly, sadly working non-submissive wives and mothers contribute to lost children. Delinquency lack of understanding of God ordained roles, rebellion, loneliness, adultery, divorce, you name it they are not under submission to their own husbands. They are not in the home and the results are disastrous when you follow-up God's order. Everything gets messed everything in the real calling of woman is to be in the home to be submissive to her husband to be. Following his lead caring for her children caring for her home that is the marvelous, marvelous calling of a woman the domain of her home. She's a keeper at home. A worker home, a lover of children, a lover of husband submissive.

I can't resist further defining of the magnificence of this role. In Proverbs 31 turn back to Proverbs 31 of just going to refer to it briefly, and then the close with a couple of illustrations that are pretty powerful. Chapter 31 talks about an excellent wife and this is a great great description of an excellent wife starting in verse 10 of Proverbs 31 guys this is the kind of woman you you dream about. This is what every woman should desire to be an excellent wife verse 10 who can find hard to find one or her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusted her find a woman first of all that you can what trust trust her with everything trust her with relationships, trust her with your children trust her with your money.

Trust her with your possessions, trust her with your relationships. She will go around undermining those he'll have no lack of gain.

She doesn't good and not evil all the days of her life. This is an amazing woman.

She looks for wool and flax, and works with her hands in delight. She's like merchant ships, she brings her food from afar shall go anywhere for a bargain. Amazing woman works with her hands.

Goes everywhere with her little coupon deal.

Verse 15 she rises. Also, while it is still night and gives food to her household.

I've so many memories of that as a kid. So many memories of the mornings of my life in the waking not by an alarm, but by what was coming out of the kitchen.

She gives food or household portions to her maiden said this is a very enterprising woman, she finds a field is for sale and she buys it. She's got earnings since she plants a vineyard.

Somehow she's got a cottage deal going inside the home. She's been able to earn some money to help. She girds herself with strength, makes her Armstrong probably not because she went to the gym but because she worked she senses that are gain is good or lamp doesn't go out at night stays up late gets up early life was tough in those days if you want to close. You did what you made them if you want food you made. If you want some food to eat you grill if you want to grow what you had to have a field so when you married a woman to provide meals that Mitch had Byfield plowed field, plan a field harvest field. Make the food while you are off doing whatever doing business in the city.

She stretches out her hand of the distaff.

Her hands grasped mineral she's weaving weaving coats can get cold in that part of the world. In the winter. She extends her hand to the poor. She stretches out her hands to the needy. She's not afraid of the snow for her household, for all or household are clothed with scarlet not only to have warm garments but the beautiful she makes coverings for herself. Her clothing is fine linen and purple. And you know what her husband is known in the gates. They know I miss that's so-and-so's husband.

Boy I know the guy that so-and-so's husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land all a little jealous. She makes linen garments and sells them. There's how she makes a little money to buy that field supplies belts to the tradesman strength and dignity are clothing she smiles at the future why she plans ahead. She opens her mouth and wisdom in the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. Boy what kind of model is she for her children. She looks well to the ways of her household doesn't eat the bread of idleness and her children rise up and bless her.

Her husband also, and he praises her saying many daughters have done nobly but you excelled them all your the best. You're the best charm is deceitful beauty. Its main doesn't last, but a woman fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her the product of her hands and let her works praise her in the gates and all works around the home doesn't and the husband. The children in the needy. I swear woman needs to give her life.

Some women are not even sold this whole feminist deal you know they grab their briefcase but on their student went to the office and have done their thing and now a son, 10, 15 years later there's a terrible hollowness in their hearts. Many of the same women who in their 20s, pursued career didn't want children intruding in their life now find themselves in their 30s and 40s with an emptiness in a terrible dissatisfaction, a hollowness, a sense of on fulfillment and the reality that they missed the whole purpose of life and they can't ever get it back. Despite their worldly successes and indefinable longing sets in, and some of them begin to see motherhood as the experience they want.

They think they want to have a baby, you hear them say that old. This attitude perceives motherhood as some kind of feminine achievement. I've had my career I've made my money and I want to make my baby, I want to show the world that I can do that. That's my next achievement.

My next personal accomplishment. I've been in a successful lawyer and now I'm going to show you that I can be a successful mother children however are not a prize to win.

They are not goal to achieve. They are not a way to proclaim someone's femininity. They are not a little doll to dress at the Gymboree better than everybody else's kids are dressed there not somebody to fill out your wounded ego and unfulfilled life.

One lady said I got the house. I got the cars we have the vacation home. I've had the career now all I need is a couple kids. I guess she thought that way she could go down as a monument to femininity. Women who look at having children as a means of personal fulfillment really mistaking the issue first because of all they want is an experience and experience is very temporary, but that kid is going to be around for a long time making a lot of demands that have very little to do with one's personal fulfillment. Have you noticed secondly, this manifestation of self-centeredness undervalues the purpose and the significance of motherhood as God designs it and usually sentences that little kid to a tragic life. This is the sentimental romantic view of motherhood in this sentimentalism is dangerous because any time. Our emotions are driving the car. We will end up in a ditch.

Babies wake up in the night. Babies get sick they make a mess and sometimes babies die, I admit that the tender sweet and emotional side of motherhood is precious, but only because hardheaded reason and biblical discipline with lots and lots of hard work is steering the process.

Christian women need to have their approach to mothering anchored in the Scriptures, not in their emotion and I can learn mothering anywhere but in the Bible and I learned from a talkshow host not going to learn it from a magazine article at the check stand in the market you not gonna learn motherhood from classes on self-esteem healthy godly view of mothering comes out of the word of God, and it has to be learned there motherhood is not a romanticized ideal. It is a God-given task suited to a woman's frame accomplished joyfully by hard work through his grace and provision godly motherhood does not focus on the pretty little child doesn't focus on infancy and childhood limited godly mothering focuses on adulthood from the start. The focus of the long-term objective which is mature, godly sons and daughters who will live to bring honor and glory to God. That is the calling of scriptural spiritual motherhood. That's what God's those who don't know Christ.

They can they can't even approach it right. Those who do must receive this letter really a heartbreaking letter was what it's I received your tape series. Sean, the family for my mother-in-law for Christmas. You were right when you started the tape on the duty and priorities of the wife you were right that it would upset a lot of people. I cried many tears listening to you. You hit the nail on the head regarding the moral decay of families and children.

Working mothers.

The reason for the tears. I am a working mother. I have four children ages 11, 10, 3 1/2 I worked all of their lives.

I feel that I have lost a connection with my 11-year-old daughter that worries me as she approaches adolescents. My babies go through tremendous mommy deprive Asian daily.

My 10-year-old acts out his frustration on everyone, my oldest children go to a private Christian school that requires a lot of time in the evenings with homework I get home after being gone 9 to 10 hours. I have to cook dinner deal with the crying mischievous babies and try not to let the older ones feel left out because I'm too tired or there's no time left in the evening to work on their needs. I would love to stay home and be a keeper of my house, but I have no alternative. My husband is chosen to ruin his career in our lives by selfishly indulging in drugs and alcohol effort for your roller coaster ride. We separated when I found out that he was taking the babies to the park and drinking. I fear that he may get into an accident with them or forget he has the more than I have been put into the position of breadwinner of this family and I deeply resented it is destroying my family. I am losing out on the most important part of my life raising my children the part of me that is raising them is not a part of me that I like.

I am tired, angry and frustrated all the time. What a wonderful role model mom. The hag when we separated I told my boss separated from her husband and he told me to call my pastor right away. Being somewhat new to a church body. I couldn't figure out what my pastor could do. I told my pastor. A few days later he said he was sorry and that he would pray for me during initial separation. I didn't attend church for a month. I continue to read my Bible daily. Listen to tapes and radio ministry programs during that month. I didn't receive a single call from the church or my pastor. Incidentally, we fill out weekly attendance cards and several friends are in ministry positions we know of our situation.

When I go back to church. No one asked how things were was also at this time I asked my employer if I could work at home to save daycare costs. These are Christian, and these costs were sending me financially over the edge. The answer was no. I thought I was naïve thinking that my church or my Christian employer should or could help in some way when I listen to you and your thoughts on the church's obligation to women with children. I couldn't stop crying. I felt so let down by my pastor and church as well as my Christian employer. While I didn't write this to complain. I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate your messages and how you really have touched me, given me incentive to pray more fervently for God to change my situation so that I can do what I'm supposed to do be a keeper of my house and children.

I also pray for my husband keep on teaching the word of God. It doesn't matter if noses get bent out of shape. It just makes us open our eyes and re-examine how we live our lives said. I mean, in some ways it's all over and there's no going back matter of submission is so clear in Scripture to the husband to the tasks of the home that's God's call to your listening to Grace to you as John MacArthur, Chancellor of the Masters University in seminary continues you series titled the fulfilled family and keep in mind what John said before the lesson by joining our mailing list. You can keep up on the resources available from Grace to you. You can stay informed on how you can be praying for John and our staff and you will receive offers for free books or other resources every month to join our mailing list, contact us today. You can send an email to letters@gty.org or drop a note to Grace to you.

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Visit our website TTY.org or you can call our customer service line at 855 grace by the way, that number translates to 800-5547 22 now for John MacArthur and the entire Grace to you staff, I'm Phil Johnson inviting you back for our next broadcast when John continues, you series the fulfilled family is our most in demand series ever be here tomorrow for another half hour unleashing God's truth one verse at a time on grace