FINISHING WELL

Role here when you train one pastor and some donor friends are standing by to train the second-best call 833-443-5467 or go online and train a pastor.com. Every gift counts and now every gift is double train a pastor.com this is Amy Thomas from the masculine journey podcast where we discover what it means to be a wholehearted man your chosen Truth Network podcast is starting in just seconds. Enjoy it, share it, but most of all, thank you for listening and for choosing The Truth Podcast Network. This is the Truth Network welcome to finishing well brought to you by Cardinal guy, certified financial planner long Shia best-selling author and financial planner helping families finish well for over 40 years on finishing well will examine both biblical and practical knowledge to assist families in finishing well, including discussions on managing Medicare IRA long-term care life insurance and investments and taxes.

Now let's get started. Finishing well today on finishing this ratio is actually titled finishing well which I think it's it's it's time to my prayer and I hope that your prayer to with our lives right. But as we come to the end of that is way we know what on earth live on for eternity, but as we come to life on earth that we know that we are actually to become the bride of Christ and if we want to reflect him as much, as we possibly can. And it's a beautiful thing that God is put Hans in our life in this thought process to begin to think of plowing. It really comes to finishing well like you know the last months the last days.

The last hours. Whatever the case may be. This is going to be a crisis for your family. I know this is going to be a change of who is handling things. He's taking care of things, whether that's now I no longer able to take care of myself and after going to some kind of facility or some type of home healthcare are all these things and so there's decisions and there's changes. So how do I process this so that I finish well and I was think about how beautiful it is in a Jewish wedding.

And so it's a picture of when Christ puts the ring on you. There's this this thing that that that they recite them and they say that me know if from my perspective, this is what Jesus is offering to his bride that I'm going to support you physically, I'm enough support you financially. I'm going to support you and that has to do with a letter sonic which is really beautiful and Hebrew, to support you physically.

I'm in a support you financially support you emotionally, and often think about that as a husband. How can I support my wife emotionally and then how my going to support and then I'm going to support rich.

Jesus does his best of all spiritually so as husband or spouses of any kind.

Right we been there supporting our families, our children physically, financially and emotionally and spiritually. So now there's going to be a changing of the guard, and in what is the plan to put these things in place and quite honestly, Hans is moving about this in my own life. You know I have a short term care policy so I had the financial things worked out like most men that I'd really is. As I begin the process today show I was like oh my goodness I have not put things in place to help my family both emotionally and spiritually. So this is really a movie that we wait. We want to play. I know it's not easy to listen to that so that we can all think about really what the shows about how can we finish well sir, and this is this is a huge part of finishing well mean ideal with clients. Most of them coming in them in their 60s a lot in their 50s, late 50s and then many in their 70s but but but for the most part in the 60s and one of the first things I have to do with individuals and couples is we gotta talk about dying and leaving the other one behind and we gotta talk about when the second one dies what we want to happen dollar stuff their earthly staff how we will what we want things to look like an clients especially at that age didn't have a problem talking about death and passing go because you know it's gonna happen change the subject so long-term care and change the subject to having a period of care of his long-term care is almost too sterile and change the subject to long-term care is when somebody can't somebody needs to take care of you. So you're in a state of being from stroke, car accident, a fall just generally your your mind and dementia just advancing age. You've reached a point like your dad got there. Your mother got there my mother was certainly there was dementia for many, many, many years. My father got there at 70 with a stroke when you're at that point in your life where summers go to carry she was going make decisions for you. Certainly help you and make decisions with you and then just flat to carry you and what Hans did a beautiful beautiful video on this subject and what he brought out was all of a sudden. This crisis is on your family and there in a crisis and this is a beautiful time to have put some planning in place because there's no time to click when you're in the rapids. Your coat down the river at 10,000 miles an hour it's a tough time to make difficult decisions and also one of the most basic things that you talk to me about what just get your financial coming get your paperwork straight so that she can begin to be thinking about decisions of who's going to be the decision-maker.

Chris seen you've already done that part of and actually what I would would bring me a lot of joy is the influence a number of you to just get to her Robbie� As you get into the subject is Robbie's got the financial don't want to say like totally taken care of because nobody has that, but he's certainly got a year to two years worth of coverage on both of them that when this crisis happens more than just build take financial off the table as you got the money there from the insurance company to pay for home healthcare and you get the money there to pay for an assisted living word.

Time to the point when you're this just happened in the whole families gathered that you're not having to have a financial discussion because if that hadn't been planned for. That's going to be the whole discussion along with his other more important to take care that you've also taken care of the legal documents even powered your spouse and your adult children who will hopefully when this happens much more adults and this could be 20 years from now, 30 years from now the five years from now whenever it happens. If it happened 10 years from now you your children are empowered to make decisions with your wife okay legally empowered. We set that up and that is so important so that you going to have a decision-maker is going to be your spouse and your wife first and that she's going to need the help of the kids and she's even if she doesn't need to help with the kids, he's gonna need to gain agreement of the kids and you got them listed on the power of attorney in a particular order, and you need to decision-maker in these times as well and I think what you discovered at lunch. As we were compared for this is you, you really discovered that there were a couple of elements that you haven't really thought about prepared for and those were spiritual and then where we talked about is the emotional is to go through the movie what it looks like when the family is sitting around and you know if you daughter who's 20 now she's gonna be 40 then knowing your daughter who's 30 now or in the exact age as their 20 year advanced in age and they're all sitting around there there organ have different opinions about what we need to do for dad with dad how dad needs to be cared for and you just make a lot of sense to have this all planned out. Not even so much in detail just to have you have your wishes get written down everything I was personally thinking as far as finishing well is I need some people outside of my family because that I know my family and when you put them in the in the fire together, you know, they grew up together and and I don't want you know them to to feel like they don't have any representation you know that there isn't somebody there that listens and as I began to pray through this immediately when I realized while at Gosport. Please people in my life dear friends that might my children and my wife with respect to come in and say can we pray together guys and and and and and don't you think you know that you know they just help from lack of a better word, a referee know have the gall item other than the mediator will be a God of that year the Jesus and Paul LMN mediator that yeah that's more kind yeah but you know my kids are all billboards, everyone they all have the ability to go Bob Gilmore on somebody for success assisted except it needs to be done and I was like man I III want them to be who they are. Don't get me wrong, I want them to be strong like they are, but also think this would be a really good place, not for them to ship to be separated more as a family, but be united more as a family at an again it's a spiritual need this and this and they're not on the same page spiritual leader and in and soak the whole the show here and there, not any different than anyone else in the night I get into families just because of the work I do I find out all the stuff that they don't tell everyone else may just gonna have to because were prepared for this were prepared for states were managing their money right wills right in trust, doing all kinds of things, of any attorneys doing that work so we we we find out yourself is just all your families like every other family is that that there's no recent conflict, and it's also conflict is a safe place to go in a very difficult situation.

There's people going and they start talking about you know the meat prices in China is a say in the third and have disagreements about things I don't have anything to do with the fact that dads over there and he needs help and he needs caring and he needs love, but more importantly needs somebody to come in here seven days a week three or four hours a day and just take care of them so the family can be here for emotional support and then we need the money to do that. This is that this is an insurable risk so I can talk about that today. I just really want to have a show where we just like what are we really talking about and were talking about long-term care were talking about finishing well we talking about having a plan for this in sitting down acknowledging this might be years off it possibly could never happen but we can prepare for it in our Goddess is a very kind God and hate and he wants everybody to be loved well through you know whatever stage there and so I think it's really loving and a picture of Christ. If we can be as we can begin to think through how can we best love our family through our actual finishing well. So when we come back we had more lately we have more and I know you're going to enjoy that so again this condition is brought you by Cardinal guided Hans's book the complete cargo guide to planning for living retirement has everything to do with finishing well can be found there are no guidelines on an again we come back finishing well is actually what were doing finishing. Hans and I would love to take our show on the road to your church and Sunday school Christian or civic group.

Here's a chance for you to advance the kingdom through financial resources and leveraging Hans expertise and qualified charitable contributions veterans aid and attendance and IRA Social Security care and long-term care.

Just go to cargo guide.com and contact Tom to schedule a live recording of finishing well your church or civic group contact Tom, the Cardinal guide.com that's Cardinal guide.com so welcome back to finishing well, finishing well today. Shelley has a better title is at some point in time we all actually will be finishing and we would like to do that well in many times I don't know for whatever reason I had friends that were at the point where they found out that they had hours to live and whether was the doctor or the spouse of the person that was passing away. They would come to me and they would say Robbie would you go tell this person and we have hours to live as you've ever been in that position but I've had that opportunity now on a couple of very dear friends and all the sudden you turn to the only source of information when you really are in this crisis because the crisis is upon, and so I can remember praying and I remember when I prayed the first time that happened to me.

God was very clear that there is nothing like the 23rd Psalm when you need to shepherd and so I remember. And God was tell me there's a beautiful beautiful book on the 23rd Psalm called shepherds guide to the 23rd Psalm and the shepherd talked about what David was referring to with the sheep and the sheep when they are faced with fast-moving water.

They won't drink. They're afraid they're going to drown because their fleece gets wet mega rights but you know if if if you want to have the sheep die of thirst you not just have it be by fast running water, and so God is a loving kind God like that, that he doesn't want the water to overcome you. So when crisis is come as shepherd will help get the sheep to slower water or like when God didn't want a blind Moses with his glory really put them in the cleft of the rock.

He put his hand over to cover and so it's an interesting thing as a shepherd which you are in your family know either spouse or shepherds in different ways. You know how can I shepherd my kids how can I shepherd my grandkids and all this through this transition of this through this stage of my life.

We talked about meal financial records and clearly the documents in a one of the things is that our kids and our family members are going to want to go into the dial right but will absolutely and they're going to start saying denials there to protect you from loss put there by God. And it's a it's a defense mechanism, I would say we bring this subject up, many of the clients that are coming in to see me in revisiting this when I bring the subject up there revisiting this happen to their parents, and you know it obviously didn't go very well because this is a awful time is of people to shut down and I think it and they're not really in a good place to make good decisions and if there's ever a time that you really need to make good decisions you need to invite God into the situation through prayer is it's when when your parents or you yourself with these two kids making the decisions and your spouse is you just had a stroke or you just had something in your down and they need the emotional guidance to make good decisions. One of those decisions is going to be like where is dad going to be cared for different care form at home and working to provide the care that's just not a reasonable thing to do. It sounds reasonable and I don't really want to take that away as an option because certainly many people provide care to their parents or their spouse in a very loving way, which you certainly don't want them doing that just because you don't have the money. You don't want to spend the money and so it becomes a financial thing into physical thing made a person does needing care they need a whole range of care and if they live by themselves. They need to be brought to doctors appointments and they need to be brought out to socialization nor socialization needs to be brought into them and there's a whole range of professional services and there's there's a certain part of this, that's just better hired out so I don't want to get into teaching so much about all of that because we want to stay on point here were talking about the emotional, physical, spiritual, and financial consequences to the family and these are all made much much better by having a plan and all of what you say in your video that frank discussions with your family about what what these are what I want you know so that they know well you've had a talk with the and of this is this is I know it's not the easiest thing to talk about, but it's something that needs to be talked about and and and people know okay will dad this is what that wanted this is what that told us he and it gives you a sense of know that but a chance to shepherd your family before acute you know actually not a position to shepherd limitary as it you know I've been through is trying to put a number on it because it produces accountability. Let's say a minimum of 100 of these situations that we just been talking about you know to write my own family. So you know that these 98, there were those fans but I'm sure it's probably larger than that, but let's just say a lot of situations I've been in the business 44 years and so I have some clients that have gone all through the air in their 60s and then there in their 80s and then they need care and you know I met their kids all along. A lot of these situations are I'm being called in by a new client, but my new client is the person in their 60s or 50s, and I'm being called in because their parent is in one of the situations and I have a relationship with one of the siblings.

I don't know the other two and then they sit down and they start describing their brother and their sister and then their other sister and you know that that's that's really interesting you know and then what what what I heck I have some fun doing is after I listened all that and has questions and I say so what is your brother the one you were just talking about how was b�arnaise. It was was your brother Joe.

What is he think about you right then I set up and you know it's not really nice to do that but I just it is kind of what I need because I'm just getting ready to go into hornets nest here and who I'm most concerned about and God wants me most concerned about is this lady's mother. My clients mother and my client and all the brought Eminem concern for everybody. And God wants me there to try to make some good decisions to make mom finish well when I'm walking right into the crisis meet these people in my point is that I want to make is that all many of these people do not even have a clue what home healthcare is that date that they just don't know what it is and then they certainly since I don't know what it is they maybe can take a guess so, yeah, and that there is something that I see. Well, maybe but you know like you to call what it costs. Who's gonna pay for with the people do, how they differ from physical therapy in the speech therapy and the respiratory therapy. He had been families and people they don't know about all this stuff and we do so when I'm talking about a plan is to you. It's actually easy for us to do the financial part. That's why so many people specialize. It's easy for the people we can just talk numbers and money and deposits in premiums and benefits and now we just get stuck in this whole number solving a math problem that's really safe. It's not emotional and that takes us away from what we really need to talk about is these people you know is 20 years ago they'd accepted the reality of this and the possibility of this and consulted a professional like me, then we can sit down and lay it all out for and try to make some of these decisions, while mom's of sound mind, we can look at her money project what it's going to be decide over to pay for it. You know have the financial taken care unit is using their own resources.

We can decide about the physical. She can put her wishes. Now I want to stay home if it's any way possible.

Some people said I want to go to this I want to go to the assisted living my friends over there and that place is nice she's happy there. I mean, and to know that I would say you know now having done it from. I haven't done it yet on the emotional or spiritual level, which I will do, but you children. My children certainly they are likely to want to talk about that where I was like okay just so you know Chris there there witnessing or have witnessed what we went through with my father and what I'm going through my mother-in-law and so that you know there there saying something they see in the movie got it action. Unlike okay here's what your mother and I this is what are our think your peers, or planning, and here's what this looks like financially and here's who's been made power of attorney and here's what you know and so I didn't get any pushback from my get some not not none whatsoever infected. It seemed like those were good things, but you know there's more to the puzzle. Is this world coming in for a landing or I get a friend of mine mother 79 years old she's been just didn't do any planning for this father's deceased mother's been through some financial difficulties where she basically had some money scammed from her mail.

He's kind of gotten through all that he consulted me really for some help with the scammers and the creditors we got down to know she's got like $80,000 left. She sold her house and she's living in a rented place. She's happy because her church is not real expensive small town in South Carolina just got this money and so were protecting their ancestry to lose that, but I start talking to him about you know if your mom goes down, and I've been dealing with her. She's sharp now, but if she has something which could happen. Like any time at 7980 8182. She didn't want to go to facility and she's got a good income because she's a retired teacher and she's got a pension from dad and a good Social Security check. She got a good income not a lot of assets posted.

You got a problem buddy you live in a different town than her and your sister lives in a different town and we started talking about this. I just put them in the situation and then we set her up with the home healthcare piece of the same policy that you bought it a smaller benefit because it was more expensive at 79 but 750 bucks a week for 52 weeks pages and indemnity for home healthcare about 30 $40,000 worth of benefits and that cost about hundred 50 bucks a month and we re-signed rotations immediately. That's all they talk about work put in that other assets into a whole life policy and a single premium whole life basically work stash and the money so that is there if we want to get two of the creditors can't get at it and that it'll go right to her kids. If she know she passes so were simplifying things and those are much larger issues but all they want to talk about is how happy they are no and they got that home healthcare insurance.

If something happens he's gonna call me and we can get a home healthcare agency out there and she can stay home for a whole year. Based on that monitors, Which I can tell you that that movie plays out financially it's gonna be hard on your kids and so we know what an opportunity.

I think as we pray about finishing well we ran out of time is always that I it's definitely worth praying about for your family. You know what, what does that transition really really look like. And again, this shows scratch by Cardinal died so Hans's book the complete cargo guide to planning for living in retirement is all their cardinal guide.com really help you along the way you plan for this with your family to finish well. Thank you, thank you. We hope you enjoyed finishing well brought you by Cardinal guy.com visit cardinal guide.com for free downloads of the show previous shows on topics such as Social Security, Medicare and IRAs, long-term care and life insurance, investments and taxes as well as cons best-selling book, the complete cardinal guide to planning for and living in retirement and the workbook once again for dozens of free resources past shows you get Hans will go to Cardinal guy.com if you have a question, comment or suggestion for future shows. Click on the finishing well radio show on the website and send us a word. Once again, that's cardinal guide.com cardinal guide.com this is the Truth Network