Christian Parenting, p.1

Well, grab your Bibles let's go back to Ephesians we been in Ephesians a long time. On Sunday night it was a rich rich study.

It is to look at this epistle and now were over in the practical part of the book that would be careful there because the doctrines of sovereign grace which are abundantly taught in the early chapter 2 are very practical because they change us practically. But nevertheless, at this point he's giving real specific instructions about daily life and he's about to begin dealing with the social order.

Willie has been dealing with the social order. We kinda skipped over because I use the messages on husband's and wife's on Father's Day and Mother's Day and so we're gonna just know over Ephesians chapter 6 and verse four we talked about children elegant talk about parents. We call this Christian parenting by decreasing parenting 101 and realize that I'd be on December the humbled. As I prepare this because having raised my children. You see some of the things you wished you done differently and so many things you wish you had done better and your humbled and grateful you stumbled upon a few things that God used what you know, our goal should always be that the next generation does better and I'm convinced right now.

My children and their spouses doing better at their age than I was. But to be honest, when I became a Christian and got active in church there was very little other than just real basic you know children all obey God respect the parents. Those are good truths. By the way we never lose those, but there wasn't much rich teaching on AAA biblically sound spirit wrought approach to parenting. We really really like it. Grace life church 10 trips booked some ticklish books shepherding a child's heart. If you know kinda where we come from and raising children every couple every couple every couple should have shepherding the child's heart about 10 trips. He's been here.

What three or four times may get all and does so keep that down in the look at that and hopefully of course if we exegete Scripture, we come across the same basic truths, but here we have Paul again dealing with the social order. Now that we are born again Christians a spirit God has changed us. We are now faith is in Jesus Christ and repeaters of C and so now our lives to look different. Here's what he says in chapter 6, verse four father's, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord already for the ancient Greco-Roman culture to which this was written by would've been a startling statement. It would been very strange for the men of that day you had children for the first thing out of the mouth of their instructor to hear no make sure you don't upset your children, I mean children were very often not much more than a piece of property.

Almost like a livestock or something.

Not absolutely, but close to that course it would vary home to Holben historians and anthropologists tell us that that was the common feature so here we have a startling statement and we have a lot of things of course, but what's the difference the differences Ephesians chapter 1 into little of the approach at this way what what Paul is doing. He's taking the truth of God about social order here to hear the social order.

The home and he's infusing it was spiritual power and understanding, so he's balancing things out with the truth of Scripture and through the power of the spirit so when we get to Ephesians 522 and he begins talk about the Hallman husbands and wives chapter 6 he talks about children obeying their parents that he goes into parents. The here's what you want to approach raising your children, then he goes into slaves and masters which for us would be the parallel of all of employees and employers. All the social order and ease. He's bringing all these things into their proper perspective from a truth.

Understanding a truth perspective and a Spirit empowered perspective that we need to remind ourselves that everything is built upon Ephesians 521 Ephesians 521 and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.

Now be careful there.

I knew a pastor one time who, when he came to Ephesians 521 which it meant 520 deuces wisely subject to your husband, and he would say that husband and wife both equally submit to each other in Christ, which is ridiculous.

The Scripture just don't teach that God teaches that I'm 40. Just didn't teach that. But he was afraid of his wisely deferring up the two that way. That's just the truth understood that just the truth. So when he says the subject when he's not saying okay.

Parents now had to be submissive to our children.

Were that to be submitted to the parents. He's not saying okay now. Employees can now be the boss when they go to work because that you and he's not just upending our whole applecart of God's truth of the social order.

I think we need to understand. Here's because Christ is changed us folks listen God has by his spirit and through his word brave to do all of us in a gospel humility. So now there's a submission I submissive spirit about us as I lead my family and as I am the head of my wife. I now want to strive to do it with a submission to my Lord, and in honor of him. I'm not the authorities, the true authority and now as as parents are are raising their children.

They would approach that with that gospel humility of saying what glorifies God and what's best for my child is not just I'm in charge now said before, there's balancer there's a time when you have a rowdy or rebellious child and you've put your foot down to be Starnes. I look that is in charge nothing. There's no place for that, but the spirit of the heart once were changed by the gospel is that we are subject to one another. There's a submissive spirit but that does not up in the social order of authority and responsibility. The two authority so everything is built on Ephesians 521 that gospel humility that spirit of submission that abides in all of our hearts by 521 is built on 518 518 says and do not get drunk with wine. By the way, that's always a good idea about the life you don't drink any alcohol you never get wrote one. It's the simplest thing he lives in your life. Ephesians 518 do not get drunk with one for that is dissipation, don't think that the they had the spirits of alcohol. I infuse you with a good power are a good feeling you got something better that you got the Holy Spirit to control you, but be filled with the spirit now being filled with the spirit means you're walking enough continual awareness of God's present and of God's truth in your life in a course Ephesians 521 depends on Ephesians 518 B feel the spirit Ephesians 518. The patient depends on everything's been written already in a vision which primarily on talking about the work of sovereign grace.

Everything I'm saying to you in this practical section is not a self-help or a behavior modification lesson. Everything here is the instructions that are only applicable and only billable by those who receive the new birth, those who are empowered by God spirit.

Those who been quickened a new life. Those who have been born again under this living hope Vivian. We can listen to me.

Then we can begin this pilgrimage of acting different and functioning different as fathers acting different and functioning different as husbands acting different and functioning different as wives are as mothers and as time goes on and the child comes to the faith they can begin to function and act differently told their parents as children. So here we have some pretty radical things being stated to this church.

This group of believers, and in a Greco ancient Greco-Roman cultural setting that time and I believe, quite honestly, it was shocking to some of I believe they account while what's Paul saying here probably took a while for them to grasp and begin to embrace and walk in the truth he's talking about. You see, Christianity is the great liberator. But when Paul gives instructions about how your liberated in Christ.

It does not liberate you from God's law. It is not liberate you from God. Structures of authority that that's clear in his and his is his ordinance of how men and women how people are to function in life or marriage. The culture the home.

Whatever he didn't throw that out when people came became Christian.

I still had a feminist person one time a woman who claim to be a Christian and she would look at that very Scriptures, but she would use the Scriptures were your to be subject to one another to basically teach women should never submit to man because we just met each other since got canceled out at number 40 C throughout everything the Bible is ever showed us about God's purposes. That's not what liberation in Christianity means we are liberated to love God's law and to function within God's law. I'm liberated from our own selfish bondage, disturbing me to say now want to serve my Lord, which by the way, will be best for me.

I want to learn God's way and not just my selfish way and in and in the culture of the day with the unregenerate Roman men, and Greek men of the day they they would basically function in raising their children that talk. They were the absolute final despot authoritarian of their home and they functioned in that spirit. Now they are liberated in Christ. The look at that and change that they don't lose their headship of their children, but they approach child-rearing very differently now that Christ is change them a Jeremiah 30 with 31, 33, which points out the change.

The new birth brings inside of us is but this is the covenant which I will make with the house of Israel after those days, declares the Lord.

Here is I will put my law within them and on their heart I will write it and I will be their God and they shall be my people was he saying there something in you that when you see these ordinances of God. Children obey your parents wife submit to their husbands. Husbands lead your life in a way that is loving the way Christ loves the church employees honor and submit to your employer's employers don't be hard and and and unfair torture employees. All of these things are those things that now I begin to grasp and desire to walk in nothings changed by right wing if you wrote to the two great men to raise their children right but so we know that if you wrote to a great men are Roman of the day and said you be the head of your wife. She's to submit to you. They all knew that they all function that what you told wives of this date to submit your husband and say we have to.

Of course were going to do it.

We don't get stoned or something and I would include the Jewish women of the day. By the way, so the social order was well-established in people's thinking they were just warped and perverse in the way they lived it out. See Christianity tanks that good thing and gets it right side up again got it upside down and it gets it right side up again and functioning properly which shows that God has changed us and God has made us different folks. That's got to be one of our great motivations as we strive to be the kind of husbands we want to be the kind of wife's, we want to be the kind of children the kind of parents is that people that watch us would be calls to say they're not perfect but there's something different about the is a different tone.

There's a difference. Spirit is a different way. They deferred and love each other.

That is just really special. Will the to desired, therefore, that the Lord be seen in our relationships and glorified through them. So again, this is a revolutionary new perspective.

While submission to authority is still right submission did into authority is still expected and required, but even more so. We love God and we love God's law is not a cold wrote, going through the letter of the law. God then requires also those of us in authority to love and never Lord over and demean those who are under our authority. We won't both have time to go through it tonight as he warns there don't provoke your children to Eric took to anger now.

The reason Paul wrote don't do not provoke your children to anger's because that was very common in this era, husbands and men generally speak. Sure there are exceptions, but generally speaking, speaking, ruled their children with an iron fist. Favoritism was probably super abundantly clear if a child was deformed, are not as bright, etc. they were treated cruelly and harshly not completely unlike the caste system in India where a in in Hinduism and that is such a cruel cruel religion of the child's home some sort of deformity he's considered cursed by the gods in the family was considered. Kirsten that they would hot I went to seminary graduate school in Memphis with a young man from India. He had been converted by missionary and witnesses to them on the subway, his entire family didn't hire extended family had rejected him because he could use his legs.

He literally could walk on his hand and used a wheelchair. Somebody get the put flip-flops on his hands and walk up the steps of the school and he talked about how they completely abandon him. He was that he was. He was an embarrassment to the fame you know what folks you do see some of that in all cultures but you don't see the prominence of that in cultures that have a Christian orientation like Western Europe you don't see that near as much as you see that in the pagan cultures, so that was more like the Roman and Greek idea of the day of just authoritarianism and in a demeaning view, especially of children who didn't reach their standard and so this idea of loving those under you yeah are still there. Had you still lay but you love them revolutionary to the people of this day and now the Bible also tells. For example, wives that wives are to love their husband that interesting life know she's required in the gods ordinance to submit to her husband, but now she doesn't just out of the cold drudgery just go through the motions.

Any man would much rather his wife do less for him, but what she does do do it would join out of love for him then to just dock the eyes and cross the teasing and NNN enough in a beat down spirit without of sweetness.

Just go to the motion ladies is far more about your spirit is about checking off the boxes so wives that I know how we do that you gotta be born again you have the new birth you got experience. Chapters 1 and two, to live this out the way Paul wants it, but what caught especially once it lived out so there's a beautiful balance. Biblical truth brings to these foundational structures. God ordained for society and for the social order, unless introductory thoughts to let me give you I were talked about Christian parenting here.

The first point is simply this Roman one father's are responsible for the children father's are responsible for the children now balance to your course father and mother in Christian truth are one flesh, but the father being the head of the household. He bears responsibility before God that the wife does not bear. I don't know exactly how it's going to work out.

But somehow the judgment seat of Christ.

Building accountability for the way we raised our children and primarily the media and the father's will answer, not the ladies. It's primarily a burden. Gods given to the father's very clearly. The apostle writes here chapter 6 verse four father's other words, father's C2 that you do not do this talk about this and not in the latter session father's, do not provoke your children to anger, but father's you bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

So is the father who is responsible. It's the father who is in effect, the pastor of the home sale side word here because there's a movement that's been going ramp. Sometime it may have died out some is called a home church through this thing that popped up and said if your godly father and a godly husband and you love the Lord and you can be your own pastor, you can just meet with your children have church in your home that you get to three for other families to join you and you just have a home church in you don't really need a preaching pastor sucked you, do that in your home that is so warped and unbalanced view of what the Bible means was talk about pastoring a church.

Of course you're the pastor of your home but you are to be shepherded yourself by pastor at your local church you not to be independent spirited about this thing and there's a beautiful harmony and balance in lit linkage one. The pastor of your church death of the pastor of the fathers were heads of their house. The father is functioning as the pastor's home so he is responsible to oversee the education of the children.

The raising of them. Now it is very true. He may not be as hands on his mom mom I do the great abundance of instruction simply from the fact that more so as not to true in our culture, but more so the moms at home in the dads outside earning a living for the family so she might do much more the hands on but again is the father who bears the responsibility before God for the way that child is Ray, and Denise is very specifically not to use not just for you to figure this out. You are Teresa InVision 64 or her in the discipline and in the instruction of the Lord was talk about that phrase of the Lord, not just discipline and instruction is not the discipline and instruction of brother Jeff is not the discipline and instruction of brother David. Her brother Tom, our brother whoever you get the right to decide how you can educate your child. Gods told you how to educate you to do it in the Lord, the Lord's wisdom, not ours. The Lord's wisdom, not marks or Spencer or Freud or whoever else may be out there who's supposedly given us things were to educate our children on or about it's the discipline instruction and discipline of the Lord. In other words, all education and all child-rearing is to be God centered is to be founded on the Lord now today in our culture enough, there was a day in our culture when things were just donning the culture in general was significantly God centered. I'm not saying they live godly, but in the philosophy of the day was is understood. We need God is the foundation of everything just in the forefathers who founded our nation came out of a an English structure. I should say a Western European structure is more than just English but Western European structure where every church is connected to the state.

I shouldn't say every almost every the great majority, and so when our forefathers came to America they carried that concept with them. It was the viewpoint that the government education systems, everything needs the church, the state Puritans is a true and stay right we need the church's influence. We know that can be greatly perverse and and and warped as the church becomes wayward gets too much power, which is what happened in Europe. It happened with Roman Catholicism in connection with anyone with any branch of so-called Christendom, but nevertheless that was the viewpoint of early America, so they had the concept. I mean just there was no debate. There was no argument there was no progressive liberalism in early Americans understood what a start with God. For example, the New England trimmer. It was about the most popular education book for over 100 years. In early America and in that little trimmer. You taught a child.

The ABCs by teaching them things about God. I think the a was a in Adam's fall we all fall and Billy was set to do your best. You got a test of this book.

I paraphrase that crazy but nevertheless ABCs and when the child learned ABCs they learn the truth about God. That's the first public school textbook in America. That's just where we were. And so it was quite easy and that tape to educate your child because everybody around you had the same basic mindset.

But today we we change things. Today we've gotten smarter.

Today we become wiser. We don't to prejudice our children with God's truth anymore. We will. We want we want them to be open book so to speak, and know we had this sort of high shaped idea of training the child. For example, one slice of the pie triangle of the pie would be that the schools will teach our children secular thing you know, mathematics, and history in geometry and whatever geography, etc. such of the school basically teach those things the church will teach the child spiritual thing. Just another piece of the pie and then the home will teach a child social thing. Now it's getting out today that that's even a little bit outdated because now the liberals who run the education system allows that parents can't do any of this, the church or can't do any of it. We need to let them do all of it. Just give us your children. Let us to their hearts and minds because we are smart were elitist we know how to best raise children look folks, God gave children to moms and dads and moms and dads use the partnership of good and godly churches to help them raise their children for the glory of God the pie shaped thing just doesn't work in Christian truth. So basically they said you got all the pieces of the pie gone secular education by the school spirit was taken by the church social educational home and you got it off. This really in God's plan at all in God's plan. Everything's to begin with God. God is the center of all of it, all of it is a part of training the child in Paul's phrase here the discipline and instruction of the Lord really if if you want to think about a better illustration God centeredness raising a child in the discipline instructs the Lord to be more like a wheel. I've used a wheel to illustrate the way we function as a church, but the hub of the will of course would be God and the word of God and then sticking out from that would be social training sticking out from that would be secular training is sticking out from that would be… Spiritual training.

Everything begins in God and the home is an extension of God and the education assistance got it all would come out from God being the hub of the wheel and God's truth driving everything now. My point is that fathers must lead the family in seeing to it that this is the case, fathers are clear. This is no debate about this fathers bring your children up.

He said in the discipline and instruction of the Lord very responsible and fathers will be held in unique and special way. Unlike their wives will be held responsible by God. The importance of instructing in the home and in everyday life cannot be over emphasized by the way there's so much instruction, it's just not a lot of formal training. I'm familiar with the ministry and that I do a lot of good things and I like what they're doing but they are extremely dependent upon conferences seminar seminar seminar training training training conference conference, there's good in that but a lot of what you need to know is a pastor and as a church you learn by catching it, not just sitting being tall, and that's why I love our conference that we have here because our our gasket to come and be around you guys and kinda see something of the life of grace, like churches, they continually say that has a huge impact on their life, but in fact go to Deuteronomy would you do in Deuteronomy chapter 6 way back over to the close to the first of the old part of the book of Deuteronomy chapter 6 and here's what the Lord has instructed Israel to do, but there's a truth here that so applicable for all of us. Deuteronomy chapter 6 verse one of this is the commandment, the statutes and the judgments which the Lord your God has commanded me to teach you that you might do them in the land where you're going over to possess it so that you and your son and your grandson might fear the Lord your God, to keep all his statutes and his commandments which I command you all the days of your life, and that your days may be prolonged all injury, you should listen and be careful to do it, that it may be well with you and that you may multiply greatly. Just as the Lord, the God of your fathers has promised you in a land flowing with milk and honey here oh Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your might. These words which I'm commanding you today, shall be on your heart. Here's the here's the verse I think is so helpful. Verse seven you shall teach them diligently to your sons and you shall talk of them when you sit in your house when you walk by the way, when you live down and when you rise up. They had something to say but you just can't replace that right there and you know what you know if it's really saying you don't to Jeff, not a translation that is be real at home just be a real Christian at home.

Talk of these things in your daily life at home when you get up in the morning when you eat your breakfast you watch something on TV bring out the truths of Scripture I told you this many times but had a real impact on my heart as a as a father. We were going down the road one day and one my verses in there and she wasn't old but she wasn't really young and we passed a young person walking down the road and the young person just had a bizarre appearance. Wild colors in the hair, piercings in this crazy looking close and said what you think about that person and with just a little thought she said well probably there. Mom and dad probably don't love them. They probably need the love of Obama that they they're looking to get attention. And that's a proud problem there really want focusing on the settlement draw attention to himself. I thought pretty good response. They had wisdom about what was really going on in those situations so as you come to events in life and situations talk about the truth of God, bring it to bear on the situation. I can tell you how much more powerful. That is been having a sit down Bible study with your get the 30 minutes not rolled absent down, Bible study, but your kids do that Sunday school. He said of the preaching of the work.

There's a place for that in the home, but really in the home. You need the living out in the application of truth. So you talk about these things when you rise up.

You sit in your house when you walk by the way, when you live down it not being real at home and fathers should look for ways I hope I did fairly good at that. The boy missed a lot of situation we would watch something on on television Andy Griffith show would come on in and is just a great guy named DeGraff the great guy, but have now. Then he tell his son the lie dower he would illustrate it.you know, let's fix the situation by not being totally truthful and we talk about what is just a show and things happen in life makes mistakes but is it the right way to approach that was 1001 ways to do this, make it real at home be instructing as life happens around you in your home. Fathers are responsible to see that happen that we do know for certain. Nobody can dispute this, that homes with the father is absent are the father is weak in leadership are homes that are far, far more prone to failure that homes with the father is present in with the father is active in leading the family. Certainly those homes with the father purpose is to lead his family and the discipline and instruction of the Lord and by the way dad's you go long long way down the road of training your children why God want you to but making sure your fame is committed to a solid mature glory of God focus, Christ honoring Bob saturated local church.

It's a great great help to you in raising your check Hillary Clinton says it takes a village to raise a child. She's wrong. Take the church church family to help you raise a child that I can just do so so so very much. But in fact it's impossible. I'm convinced without it.

I think God has a grace sometimes people find them situation for the can't find a sound church just like I get to three emails a week from people are pastors and I and I just got one cup three weeks ago enough families in Nashville and they said man can you recommend something. We were in this area, we can find nothing but Joel O'Steen top teaching appear and were dying, so this places that got so many people moving into it this to be a great place for a church plant about, well we've done some of those with people just like the spell and so sometimes people find themselves in places where they don't get the support and the help of a solid church family and I think God gives them grace. But if possible. That's the greatest hip you can. I've often said about race laughter to the shows. This is a great place to raise children, nor the main reasons why this is a great place to raise children because what we are is what we been and what we are sure going to be children don't grow up here when I turned 18. They been through five or six different approaches to church life as church teacher reinventing itself with some new goofy thing to reach the next generations of the topic is 18 they have to wondrous anything that true is or anything that's lasting what new thing of the don't try to do next in our church and I like the children are dull.

I think that's why about that.

So when the child turns 18 were losing like 85% of all high school graduates when they graduate ceased to go to church and Baptist life. 85%. That's a fact that the studies been done.

While I think the graduate say this a real we just play games at my church we just a goofy, entertaining Stella. We had some things going around about Scripture and teaching, but that what the main thing the main thing was the next fun thing we did. You don't raise your child in that environment, they just drop think it's not serious is not genuine if it's serious and genuine. The same truth that applies for Johnny when his 12 applies for Johnny's daddy when he 50. Truth is truth and anyway local church is one of the keys to helping you raise your children for the in the diskless trust of the Lord Paul Meyer the Minutemen with Meyer clinic. I'm not saying I agree with Paula name on everything that is a is a Cox psychologist who is a Christian. He said in his studies he found that a vast majority of neurotics had grown up in homes where there was no father or the father was dominated by the mother and we see not seen this statistic for many, many generations that a young man is far more likely to involve himself in homosexual immoralities if his father is absent or his mother is the dominant one in the family would look when you start messing with God structures. There is a domino effect. There is a sliding down the final effect that begins to affect everything now look God has grace.

Amen. God has grace I was raised in a home with an absent father God has grace and and ladies, if you're in a situation, you do the best you can for the glory of God.

And I'll take care of you print this tells us that, but we do know it's harder to see a child grow up in the diskless truck to the Lord and stay on that path. When fathers are absent